Chapter 116
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 116
Chapter Title: The Mayor and the Plaza
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It was a perfect afternoon.
Truly perfect—no other adjectives would even be tolerated.
I leaned back in the mayor's office chair, admiring the modern art masterpiece unfolding outside the window.
The canvas was the plaza in front of Neo Incheon City Hall.
The paint was rage and ecstasy.
The artist was none other than me, Lee Garam.
The plaza was divided in two.
On one side, fiery youth shouted at the top of their lungs, "Give us back our future!"
On the other, seasoned twilight wielded "Protect Lee Garam!" picket signs to block them.
The youth's candles and the elders' Taegeukgi flags.
Cries toward the future and hymns to the past.
The dissonance born from the two forces clashing in the plaza's center.
Krooh.
How beautiful this schism.
How tear-jerking this conflict.
"Kya. Look, Nero. That's democracy right there."
Meow.
Immersed in ecstasy, I kneaded Nero's soft belly fat.
"Their rage is my fertilizer. Their conflict is my nourishment. The louder their clamor, the closer my impeachment draws. Brutus Project. What a brilliantly named operation, right? Even I think I'm a genius."
Nyaaaam—
Nero accepted my touch but kept giving me that pathetic look.
Hmph. What does a cat know anyway.
Everything was going smoothly.
Everything was according to plan.
The approval ratings graph was moving exactly as I intended.
Youth support was diving toward rock bottom, while elderly support was skyrocketing through the ceiling.
MIGA fan club was seeing nonstop youth withdrawals. Of course, just as many elders were joining, so membership numbers were actually up.
This time it's a success.
This time it's for real.
That was when it happened.
Knock knock.
"Mayor."
It was Seria.
I startled and adjusted my hold on Nero.
"What now! I said today was a no-documents day! Did you trick me?"
The door opened, and Seria walked in holding a tablet PC instead of file folders.
An ominous sign.
"It's not documents."
Seria stopped in front of my desk.
"I brought something even more fun."
Fun?
Nothing Seria called "fun" had ever been proper.
Just things that made my life more exhausting, more annoying, more headache-inducing.
"What is it. I'm busy. Gotta photosynthesize with Nero."
Nyong?
Nero looked up at me with a puzzled expression.
"Seoul announced a very bold elderly welfare policy. Looks like they're imitating your visionary approach, Mayor."
Whoosh.
Seria shoved the tablet screen in front of my face.
[Seoul Emergency Press Conference]
The screen was filled with Kim Jin-su, Seoul's deputy mayor, his face brazenly puffed up with effort. Even his tie color was obnoxious.
[Kim Jin-su, Deputy Mayor: Esteemed citizens of Seoul! And seniors across Korea! Today, Seoul declares true filial piety administration!]
I snorted.
"Hmph. It's just a knockoff of my policy anyway. How could they match the original's depth."
And then Kim Jin-su's announcement continued.
[Kim Jin-su, Deputy Mayor: Starting next week, Seoul will pay all seniors aged 65 and above a 'Seoul Happiness Allowance' of 1.5 million won per month!]
"What?"
1.5 million won?
500,000 more than our Neo Incheon?
[Kim Jin-su, Deputy Mayor: We'll also cover all superpower-related medical support, as well as full general care and medication costs!]
"......"
General medical too?
That's crossing the line!
This violates business ethics!
[Kim Jin-su, Deputy Mayor: Every district's senior centers will be remodeled to luxury hotel standards, introducing personalized AI health systems for 24/7 care! Electricity and water bills fully waived!]
My jaw dropped.
This wasn't just sprinkling money—it was hosing it into the air.
Those bastards digging up the ground for treasure or what?
But Kim Jin-su's rampage didn't end there.
[Kim Jin-su, Deputy Mayor: Unlike 'some' local governments that stoke generational conflict by sacrificing youth, our policies are fundamentally different. With ample secured funding, we won't cut a single won from youth support budgets to make this all happen.]
"You sons of...!"
[Kim Jin-su, Deputy Mayor: True welfare isn't built on one generation's sacrifice. It's all generations happy together—that's what Seoul pursues.]
His voice dripped with clear mockery and ridicule aimed at me.
And the final blow.
[Kim Jin-su, Deputy Mayor: Oh, and if any seniors from other cities... say, Neo Incheon... want to move to Seoul, don't hesitate. Apply now, and we'll cover full moving costs plus immediate access to all Seoul citizen benefits! Come on over! Seoul welcomes you!]
Clap clap clap.
Applause erupted in the press room.
Kim Jin-su bowed with a satisfied smile.
"Eeeeek...!"
My teeth ground together.
Steam felt like it was shooting from my head.
"You vile Seoul bastards! Rat-like scum!"
My policy!
My great Brutus Project!
You dare steal it?!
This is plagiarism! Clear copyright infringement!
Steal my idea, pile on more money, and even use it to insult me?
"How much effort did I put into setting up this stage! And they just eat it for free?!"
With trembling hands, I grabbed Nero from my lap and pulled both sides.
Myah?
Streeetch—!
Nero's body stretched like cheese.
The little guy yawned long, as if resigned to everything, leaving his body in my hands.
"Oh my, Mayor. You're angry? How cute."
"Shut up! Is this funny? My elders! My precious support base! They're all about to get sucked to Seoul!"
Nerolong—
I folded and unfolded the stretched Nero like an accordion while yelling at Seria.
"This violates business ethics! It's like I open a PC bang with my severance pay, and right next door a bigger, cheaper one opens with free drinks, stealing all my customers! And they charge 500 won per hour!"
Panting, I restored Nero to normal.
Nero shook himself a couple times and resumed kneading dough as if nothing happened.
"They're picking a fight with me, right?"
Dare touch my turf?
Try to steal my precious impeachment fodder elders?
Forgot who I am? I'll show them exactly what kind of guy I am!
"I'll grind those vile Seoul pricks' noses into the asphalt! Teach them what bottomless populism is, what a debt-fueled soul-sucking party looks like!"
The curtain rose on war.
I launched my surefire strategy: "Pouring Water into a Leaky Jar."
"PR Director! Prep a press conference now!"
The PR director's face went sheet-white. It was already tofu-pale, but now it was just flour dough.
"Pardon? A p-press conference, Mayor?"
"Can't you tell? It's war! Seoul declared it! Steal my idea? Not enough—pile on more cash? This is a matter of pride!"
3:00 PM sharp. Neo Incheon City Hall briefing room.
I flashed a confident smile at the cameras.
"I've heard a neighboring city rolled out a knockoff policy mimicking ours. But remember! Fakes can't match the original!"
Waaaaaa!
Cheers exploded from the elders packing the plaza.
Good. Atmosphere's perfect.
"Esteemed seniors of Neo Incheon! For your enriched leisure, starting today, 50% off all movie theaters, performance halls, art galleries, and cultural facilities!"
The briefing room stirred. The Planning and Economy Director in the back clutched his neck and collapsed.
3:30 PM. Seoul City Hall emergency bulletin.
Kim Jin-su smirked at the camera.
[Kim Jin-su: Culture isn't just for fun. It's a right! Starting today, free movies, shows, and exhibits for all seniors!]
Moments later, Seria reported calmly.
"Seoul declared full free cultural activities for seniors. Tickets, popcorn, cola, even one companion— all free."
"What? Companion too?!"
We're losing from the start.
But I won't back down. Folding here means game over.
4:00 PM. Back in Neo Incheon briefing room.
Gritting my teeth, I grabbed the mic again.
"Ahem... Fine! Then Neo Incheon too! Free public transport starting today! Buses! Subways! Ride as much as you want!"
How's that! Radical, right!
Waaa...
The cheers felt weaker than before.
4:15 PM. Seoul's counterpunch.
[Kim Jin-su: Not charging transport is basic. Seoul goes further. 1,000 won every bus ride! 2,000 won every subway ride! Taxi? 50% fare refund!]
Seria brought the summarized conference again.
"Seoul went further. They pay seniors for using public transport."
"Pay? Them?"
"Yes. 1,000 won bus load, 2,000 subway—charged instantly to transport cards."
Good lord. Paying people to use transport?
What kind of newfangled creative economy is this.
"Wait, taxis? What about taxis?"
Seria smirked faintly at my question. That smile's obnoxious.
"Payback, naturally. 50% taxi fare refunded instantly."
"Taxis too? Those lunatics!"
I clutched my neck.
This isn't welfare—it's straight cash giveaway.
Round 3, 4, 5...
"Fine! Food it is! Neo Incheon provides daily Korean buffet for seniors! Stir-fried pork, braised ribs, japchae—the works, everything but the kitchen sink!"
"Mayor."
"What! What's it this time! Don't tell me they're doing hotel buffets daily!"
"No."
Seria shook her head.
Phew, relief.
"Seoul's doing omakase for lunch."
"......"
I doubted my ears.
That omakase I know? The pricey one where the chef courses the freshest ingredients daily?
"......Daily?"
"Yes. Daily. Reservation-based, rotating famous chefs."
I leaned back against the chair. The sky looked yellow.
Lost. No way to win this.
In a money fight, they're cheating.
"For learning! Free cyber university lectures...!"
"Seoul grants auditing at major universities' all lectures. Plenty of top schools there."
"Housing! Housing support! We're giving rental villas!"
"Seoul gives apartments for immediate moves."
"Apartments!? Giving them!?"
I shot up from my seat.
"Insane! Those guys huffing drugs collectively? With what money! This make sense?!"
Seria shrugged.
"They've got money."
That one line stabbed my heart like a dagger.
"Cheating with cash?! Fight fair with policy! This is foul!"
Fuming, I paced the office circles. Nero eyed me pitifully.
"Just watch! I'll go bigger! Seoul gives apartments? We give detached houses! With yards and pools! No, gold bars! Bitcoin!!"
"Mayor."
Seria blocked me.
"Stop."
"What? Stop? While those vile Seoul bastards deceive us?"
"Anything more is just waste. Seoul's lost it too. Probably Kim Jin-su's personal rampage. They'll hit fiscal crisis soon overextending like that."
Seria tapped the tablet and shoved it at me.
"The excessive welfare policies enacted by the Mayor to date are hereby fully reviewed and halted. All but minimal practical support revert to original status."
Her signature was boldly stamped below.
"What, what?! Hey! What are you doing! I'm the mayor! Who are you to cancel my policies!"
I lunged to snatch the tablet, but Seria easily dodged.
"You're in emotional frenzy, lacking rational judgment. In mayor incapacity, chief secretary assumes authority."
"Incapacity? I'm fine! This is coup! Rebellion!"
I stomped and yelled.
"Nero! You tell her! This makes no sense!"
Meow—
Nero hopped down from the windowsill.
And rubbed against Seria's leg.
Nero, even you...!
"......"
You traitor furball.
How much churu did I sacrifice. How tenderly I petted you.
And you side with her at the crucial moment?
Seria ignored my wails and called the Planning and Economy Director.
"Effective immediately, all excessive welfare policies by the Mayor are canceled. Elderly Happiness Allowance down to 100,000 won, paid in local currency. Cultural discounts once monthly, transport back to paid. Everything else to original."
Sobbing came from the receiver.
[Economy Director: Sob... Thank you, Chief Secretary! Truly! You saved Neo Incheon!]
The Welfare Policy Office was in festival mode.
The moment Seria's order arrived, staff hugged and cheered.
The nightmare policies forcing all-nighters and weekend work vanished overnight.
Some teared up in emotion.
Sighs of relief and quiet applause echoed everywhere.
Everyone but me was thrilled.
The backlash was immediate.
And devastating.
Elderly mass exodus.
[Breaking: Neo Incheon to Seoul Express Buses Fully Booked!]
['Silver Express' Emerges! Tourist Buses Ferry Group Moves to Seoul]
[Neo Incheon Movers Backlogged 3+ Weeks... 'Senior Special']
The media dubbed it that.
"Traitors all! I gave 1 million won! Cultural support too!"
Though Seria canceled it.
Neo Incheon's bold benefits vanishing like a mirage turned elders' sentiment ice-cold.
Their eyes naturally turned next door—to Seoul.
[Anchor: Large-scale senior migration from Neo Incheon to Seoul underway. Experts call it 'Silver Exodus'...]
City Hall plaza.
The elders chanting "Protect Lee Garam!" just days ago were gone.
Dozens of tourist buses lined up instead.
Rumors said bookings backed up three weeks.
Senior centers bustled with moving trucks.
"Whatcha gonna do. They're paying—gotta go to Seoul."
"Son's yelling to pack now. Opportunity like this doesn't come twice."
"Started hot, then pfft. Young mayor lacks stamina, y'know."
Dozens of buses sped down the highway.
"Farewell Neo Incheon! Off to Seoul!" banners fluttered on the sides.
"No..."
I pressed my forehead to the office window, staring blankly.
"No! Come back!!"
Me getting backstabbed instead.
This isn't my Brutus Project.
Plus, Brutus killed Caesar and stayed in Rome.
Didn't flee to Egypt, at least!