Chapter 45
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 45
Chapter Title: 11. Guidance
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Kiel Mueller hadn't slept a wink since that day.
No, it was more like she couldn't sleep.
Giggle.
[If it weren't for you...]
[I, I—]
What had Edward been trying to say in the end?
Kiel still hadn't figured it out.
Kiel unleashed Avatar Unit 14 across the entire academy to search for him.
Failure.
It was only natural. That bastard had already switched to a different body by now.
Kiel slammed her fist on the desk. Her palm tore open. Blood dripped down, staining the draft manuscript Edward had left behind.
[Constraints and Benefits Related to Infant Soul Transplantation]
She tore the paper. Tore it again, and again, and again.
"...Fuck."
She spent the night sitting in the bathtub. The water, dyed red with her blood, had long since gone cold.
The next day, at 9 a.m., Kiel attended the meeting as usual.
A fellow professor looked at her with concern.
She hadn't slept or eaten for days, and her gaunt face was impossible to miss.
"Professor Mueller, you don't look well. Is it because of Professor Edward...?"
"...I'm fine."
"Why don't you consider taking a leave of absence? This isn't your responsibility. Things like this can happen anytime..."
"I said I'm fine."
Throughout the meeting, Kiel stared out the window through the eyes of the avatar doll stationed in the corner of the conference room.
Imagining that somewhere, that bastard was laughing.
After the meeting ended, Kiel headed to Edward's lab.
The evidence had already been collected. The desk, the documents, the sketches of magic circles on the walls—all gone. She stood alone in the empty room.
Edward's voice kept echoing in her ears.
[Senior, do you think... I really belong in this department?]
[What are you talking about? Talent can be overcome with effort.]
What had those words meant?
Kiel already knew how Edward had interpreted them.
'What are you talking about?' = Your worries are trivial.
'Talent can be overcome with effort.' = But you have no talent, so you'll have to work hard.
Even if she'd meant well, the meaning remained the same.
Edward would have taken it that way.
No matter how much she screamed that it wasn't true, the dead Edward wouldn't come back.
Kiel raised her hand toward the ceiling.
She'd never bothered to count how many lives she'd ruined with these hands.
She wanted to blame that bastard, but she just couldn't.
Because ever since she'd first approached him for money, Kiel had braced herself for something like this to happen someday.
She'd sworn she could accept any outcome.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck...!!"
Grind. Her teeth ground together, producing an unpleasant sound.
She wanted to smash something, but she couldn't.
Her body felt bound by ropes, refusing to move, yet her mind cruelly kept replaying certain scenes.
The image of that undergrad student staring at her from the crowd was still vivid in her eyes.
Giggle.
Kiel's lips trembled.
"Why are you laughing? Why are you laughing, why—!!"
Her voice cracked.
"Why..."
Kiel collapsed, as if vomiting out the question.
Even as she demanded answers from thin air, she already knew the reason.
Because she'd made a deal with the devil.
Kiel knew that better than anyone.
The next day, Kiel was summoned to the dean's office.
It was a meeting about handling Professor Edward Retber's death and the follow-up measures.
"Professor Mueller. You've worked hard all this time. You even took care of clearing out Professor Edward's lab."
"...Yes."
"I know it's been tough, but the academy must keep turning. We'll start the recruitment process for his replacement soon."
"...Yes."
The dean's words weren't registering. Kiel stared blankly at the floor.
"...Professor Mueller? Are you listening?"
"...Yes. Replacement recruitment."
"Right. If you know of anyone suitable to replace Professor Edward, feel free to recommend them. Even one of your own students—"
"—None."
Kiel cut off the dean.
"...Understood. Well, then, give the leave of absence some more thought. You don't look fit to lecture in your current state."
Leave of absence. The words pierced Kiel's chest.
"I'm fine. Lectures—"
"Professor Mueller."
The dean spoke without looking up from his papers.
"Take a look in the mirror and see what you look like right now."
Kiel lifted her head and gazed at the window. Her silhouette faintly reflected back at her.
Haggard features, disheveled hair.
Kiel looked down at her hand. The wound from slamming the desk the night before.
The blood had already clotted, turning brown. She hadn't washed it off since.
"...I'm sorry."
Kiel had no choice but to agree to the leave.
Back home, she pulled a small knife from a drawer and headed to the bathtub.
Her wrist already bore fourteen red lines.
Sitting in the tub, carving a new one into her wrist, Kiel laughed.
"Edward. I'll get revenge for you."
It was her fifteenth attempt.
Another ring added to her tree of life.
Kiel no longer chased after Ella to steal her away.
No avatars were spotted anywhere nearby.
On the surface, it looked like she'd given up, but there were plenty of other possibilities.
For instance, she could be secretly gathering intel with avatars, scouting movements.
Kiel would have plenty of options left.
'She held a ton of information from working with Broker.'
Just handing that over to the imperial side could upend the whole board.
She might even leak info to Ludwig or others to try and flip the game.
'But personally, I doubt that's her play.'
A situation where someone else sacrifices because of your own bad choices.
Only natural-born sociopaths or utterly jaded types can accept that.
Kiel was neither. She was just an imperfect human.
Optimistically, a regular person; pessimistically, a spineless woman.
'In extremes, she'd sell her soul for revenge or marinate in guilt and prep for suicide. One or the other.'
Regular folks usually pick a middle ground between the two.
Attempt suicide, then pivot to revenge.
The weak-willed might abandon both midway and just vanish.
But the key here is that Kiel had been helping me all along, ruining multiple lives in the process.
Meaning she fully recognized her own faults. And not even accidental mistakes.
That's why, in the final moment, she couldn't refute Ella's words.
Even if she tried to blame me, the arrow would boomerang back to herself.
'Instead of guessing what Kiel will try, it might be more efficient to bet on when she'll off herself.'
She'd probably attempted it by now.
That's exactly why I skip aftercare services.
Why keep her alive if she'll self-destruct on her own?
Besides, whether she rises above it or keeps antagonizing me to the end, either way is plenty interesting.
The former would mean she's tougher than I thought,
the latter, that she's a top-tier egoist.
The latter sounds more fun, but what I really want to see is the former.
I'm a fan of human odes, after all.
"I said I'd follow you, but... where are we going?"
"I haven't set a fixed destination, but... well."
In two years' time, I plan to enroll Ella in the academy.
Could be sooner, could be later.
I need to time it with Ceres's enrollment.
To do that, I have to drill common sense and culture into Ceres.
She'll need to pass the entrance exam.
"I'll settle down somewhere and hire a tutor for you. Where do you want to go?"
Ella stared at me without answering.
"...No matter what I say, you're just gonna go where you want anyway, right?"
"I could at least consider it positively."
Even as I said that, I already had a destination in mind.
Naturally, in Ceres's direction.
'Gotta enroll Ceres too.'
I racked my brain over how to lure Ceres to the academy.
'Wish Broker was still around. Would've made pinpointing Ceres's location easy.'
Between hunting Ceres and educating Ella, things are gonna be busy.
First, I switched into Ernst Walther's body.
From now on, I'll live solely in this shell.
Four months passed.
After quite a bit of wandering, I finally tracked down Ceres and Arbelia.
Kelmheim, a city a little ways from the north.
The two were wandering the world, gaining all sorts of experiences.
"...I think this one would suit you better?"
"Is that so? I actually prefer this ornament..."
They seemed to be eating and living well—their appearances were decent, expressions bright.
'Probably Arbelia's decision.'
Her way of showing Ceres a wider world to help her forget her thirst for revenge.
I hid in an alley, timing my approach.