Chapter 13
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 13
Chapter Title: 4. Motivation
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Ceres lowered her head. Tears soaked the fabric of her pants at her knees.
Ceres's hands clenched her pants. Her knuckles turned white from the strain.
Arbelia, who had been listening quietly, finally spoke.
"Ceres. That's enough."
"...Why?"
Ceres raised her head. Her eyes were red and bloodshot, her gaze somehow unfocused.
"Why is it unnecessary...? I did something wrong, didn't I?"
"You can't bring the dead back to life. But the living must keep moving forward. That's the best way to honor them."
Arbelia's words carried weight.
She too had witnessed countless deaths and endured countless losses. Her experience was woven into every syllable.
But to me, who knew the truth, those words rang a little differently.
'She's spouting lies she doesn't even believe herself.'
"Then..."
Ceres cut her off.
"...why am I still alive?"
Arbelia's words faltered for a moment.
"Uncle died in my place. I'm the one sitting here alive. Is that right?"
Ceres's voice trembled. It wasn't sobs—it was pent-up rage.
"I couldn't do anything. I just ran... right up to the end..."
"...Ceres."
"I don't get it."
Ceres shook her head.
"Why did only I survive? Why does it always end up like this?"
A brief silence.
"...I want revenge too. On the demons, and on the ones who orchestrated this. I want them to pay."
Blue Moon. Ceres clearly remembered the masterminds behind this incident.
"Revenge is not an easy path."
Arbelia said.
"It might consume you. It could make you lose who you really are."
"I've already lost everything."
Ceres's reply was immediate.
"I lost two precious people. It was all because of me. I don't even know what I have left to lose."
Ceres stood up. Her legs were still shaking.
"I can't just sit here doing nothing. If I do, I'll really become nothing at all."
Anger seeped into Ceres's voice for the first time.
The helplessness and grief she'd felt until now were slowly shifting in a new direction.
"...You say revenge isn't easy? Yes, I know it's not. But what other path do I have?"
Arbelia's words were textbook advice.
'But that's just preaching.'
There's no more futile way to persuade someone backed into an emotional corner than with a lecture.
Ceres's eyes widened. They burned with fury.
"What more do I have to lose? Am I just supposed to keep losing forever? Is that it?"
Arbelia drew in a breath. She hesitated for a long moment before slowly opening her mouth.
"If that's what you want, I can help you."
"...Really?"
"On one condition. Don't let revenge consume you. It shouldn't be your goal. Remember that—it's just a step along the way."
"...Then what am I supposed to fight for?"
"You have to find that out for yourself. I can't give you that answer."
It was better than I'd expected.
Arbelia had become a paragon of virtue.
'She's right. Revenge can't be the endgame. Life's meant to be enjoyed, after all.'
But who can control their heart on command?
Especially when she's the one obsessed with hunting me down for revenge.
What had I taught her in the past?
'Something about how we have power to protect the weak?'
Probably something like that.
'Not even a stray dog would buy that. Not every weakling deserves protection.'
Not all the weak are good. Some are scum like me. I know that better than anyone.
"...I'll try."
Arbelia lowered her gaze.
"Try?"
"Yes."
Ceres's hands trembled again.
"But... I can't promise anything. I still don't really understand."
Arbelia didn't refute her answer.
"...That's enough."
Arbelia closed her eyes.
The lingering poison and her injuries had piled up fatigue—she'd reached her limit too.
Ceres was about to stand when Arbelia opened her eyes and added,
"Ceres. One more thing."
Ceres turned back.
"Yes?"
"What did Walther say before he died?"
"...Uncle smiled."
"He smiled...?"
"Yes. A satisfied... peaceful expression."
Arbelia's eyes changed. Something flickered in them.
It was too quick for even me to catch clearly.
"Is that all?"
"He said, 'I'll follow right behind you,' at the end. But..."
Ceres's voice choked up again.
Arbelia asked no more. She shook her head and closed her eyes.
"...Thank you for telling me."
After Ceres left the tent, a hush settled inside.
The noises from beyond the canvas continued unabated.
Sounds of wounded being moved, groans, people's conversations.
Arbelia sat in silence.
Her head slightly bowed, she stared down at her own hands.
Dried blood still clung to the backs of her hands.
Impossible to tell if it was hers or someone else's—it was all mixed together.
She slowly clenched her fists. Her hands trembled.
"......"
She drew in a breath. Deeper than usual.
It was how she calmed her emotions as a person, before she was the Sword Saint.
But it didn't help now. Too many thoughts cluttered her mind.
'Silverlane von Stella, Ernst Walther.'
She thought the names but didn't speak them aloud.
Instead, Arbelia posed a question.
"...What do you want?"
No answer came, of course.
"What the hell are you trying to do?"
No reply to that either.
It was just a vibration in her throat—not even worthy of being called a question.
Grit!
Her teeth ground together, producing an unpleasant sound.
In that instant, as she stepped into the Domain and crossed her stances.
Arbelia heard those words he'd left behind.
[You were magnificent.]
Pure praise, devoid of any deception or pretense.
She wasn't even sure if it was real or just her imagination.
Let alone the truth of that day's events.
What she'd thought was crystal clear turned out to be shallow in the extreme.
The more she chased his trail, the more elusive it became.
Why had Silverlane saved her?
How did that man—perhaps not even named Silverlane—live on eternally by switching bodies?
What did that undying man think about?
"...Answer me."
What are you looking at right now?
I snapped the report shut and stood up.
A knight colleague resting nearby gave me a puzzled look.
"Cain? Where are you going?"
"Just stepping out for some air. The atmosphere in here feels stale."
"Yeah, the air is pretty stuffy."
"The demons' fault?"
My communicator buzzed.
I'd been ignoring it, but now it was vibrating too insistently to dismiss.
The moment I answered, a voice assaulted my eardrums.
[Hey! Why the fuck haven't you been picking up, you bastard!]
"Sorry, been a bit busy."
[Busy my ass, you pervert. When are you gonna fix that shitty habit of yours?]
"Why should I?"
[Anyway, what's the situation there? The summoned demon? I heard there were over three thousand casualties.]
"Let it go. It wasn't that strong anyway."
[Fine, whatever. Straight to the point: there's trouble with that stock company under Ernst Walther's name.]
Ernst Walther had been running a stock company.
He called it a modest little firm, but it was fairly well-known.
'Trouble now because Walther's dead, huh.'
[What're you gonna do? If this keeps up, your assets are gonna vanish into thin air.]
I had no attachment to the company.
I hadn't put much effort into it, and I had plenty of tangible assets besides.
Losing a bit of pocket change wouldn't hurt me.
I didn't need the money that badly anyway.
"Let it go. The guy's dead. Better to make use of the living ones."
[S-Seriously? You're just gonna hand it over?]
"Want it?"
The line went quiet for a moment.
[Nah, but it still stings.]
"Why?"
[I'm out here busting my ass doing dirty work with you to make a buck, and those guys get the spoils without lifting a finger?]
What a perfectly reasonable gripe.
"Whatever. Wanna do a job with me?"
Broker sounded baffled, like I'd said something weird.
[Huh? Aren't we already doing one? If you weren't such trash, I wouldn't even deal with you.]
'Huh, fair point.'
I shrugged and continued.
"I'll transfer some of my tangible assets to you. Pick whatever you want."
[For real? Hell yeah for me. So, what's the plan?]