What Did You Just Say?
What did you just say? A day earlier.
I'd come home from school and asked Sofia to add a call function to the site. It really was useful in ways that weren't exactly mascot-like. Oh, right—could there be issues with that?
"Hmm… Sofia."
"What now?!"
I ignored her irritated shout and kept talking.
"Come to think of it, couldn't regular people call me too?"
My main goal was to help magical girls and get reviews from them. Civilians were already getting plenty of help from other magical girls, so if just anyone could summon me willy-nilly, it'd be a nightmare. Imagine prank calls from dozens or thousands across the country—how could I handle that?
"Then make it so it only works with magic power?"
"…Is that even possible?"
Tech using magic power was still pretty experimental. There were some successful cases on record, but I doubted if this girl could handle something that hadn't even been fully developed yet.
"Of course! Who do you think I am?"
Hmm. I nearly blurted out the snarky response that popped into my head, but I swallowed it with superhuman patience. Better to just give her what she wants here.
"Super-genius mascot King God General…"
"Lame!"
Anyway, I asked her again if she was really sure about infusing the website with magic power and how it would work.
"Remember how the site I made before was built with magic power? I just tweaked that a bit—first, I wrote some simple code to let the site absorb magic power from the real world, and then…"
"Suddenly not curious anymore."
I gave up since I'd never understand it anyway.
"Just make sure it's not dangerous."
…
Anyway, time jumped back to the present.
"Wanna hang out with me?"
…I hadn't even promoted it yet—how did she find the call function? Her eyes stared at me with a calm, composed expression—
…?
Did they just flicker for a second? Nah, must be my imagination.
Anyway, as my first caller, I was about to handle her request with the utmost sincerity when—
"If you're worried about the money, I can cover it for you."
…Hmm. Her words made me think of a certain term that's been a huge social issue in Japan lately, but I tried not to dwell on it—
'Isn't this just straight-up papa-katsu?''…Shut up, Sofia.'
Yeah, papa-katsu. It's a common way for Japanese teens to make money—dating middle-aged men old enough to be their dads in exchange for cash. Lately, some magical girls had been doing it to cover expenses. In Korea, the Association basically stamped it out by paying magical girls generously, so it wasn't common among official ones.
The problem was, what I was doing right now was awfully close to that.
"I'll cover the cost for now."
"Huh!? You don't have to push yourself…"
"It's really fine—at least let's do Dutch pay."
There had been occasional news stories about wild magical girls doing this kind of thing, but I doubted it'd be a pleasant experience if I ended up as the subject.
"Uh… okay… if you're cool with it."
Good, she went along with it.
…From now on, I gotta emphasize no money ever.
Anyway, I asked her how she'd found the call function.
"I didn't promote it at all—how'd you summon me?"
Her face, which had been perfectly calm until then, flushed bright red in an instant. She started fidgeting with her fingers like a kid caught doing something wrong, mumbling incoherently.
"W-well… I was bored, browsing the site, and saw this new function I'd never noticed… thought maybe I'd chat with you in person… and when I tried it, you actually showed up…"
Aha. I did need a magical girl to test it on, but I hadn't expected the chance to come this quick. At least it was good news.
"So, what do you wanna do?"
"Uh, huh!? Um… what should we do!?"
She panicked at my question, squirming uncomfortably. She summoned me without even thinking of what to do?
Come to think of it, I'd recently told her to practice with someone she liked. So… hanging out with me was date practice for that person?
…How did it end up turning into something like pseudo papa-katsu?
I wondered if humanity's pure innocence born of ignorance could be even more wicked than malice.
"Hmm…"
First, I thought about what she really wanted. She'd said "hang out with me," but her real intent was probably practicing for a date. In that case, a standard date course made sense.
"Have you had lunch yet?"
"No…?"
"Then let's grab lunch."
It was lunchtime anyway—perfect timing.
…
We warped to my usual restaurant.
Ding~
"Welcome…?"
Classic background music and a serene interior design. Best of all, hardly any customers—that's what I loved about the place.
"Table for two."
New part-timer, maybe? She seemed stunned to see two magical girls walk in, standing there blankly until the manager came out and scolded her.
"Why aren't you seating them?"
"Ah! Sorry! Right this way!"
We followed the part-timer to our seats. It'd been a while, but the atmosphere was still great. Sculptural plants dotted around, warm sunlight streaming through the windows—it all made the place even cozier.
The real reason I picked this spot? Barely any customers inside.
Magical girls are pretty rare by nature. Show up in a normal place, and people swarm thinking it's some event. It was peak lunch hour, and changing into disguises for a first meeting would've killed the vibe.
So here we were.
"Right here!"
We sat where she guided us and picked up the menus. She looked awkward, like she wasn't used to this, scanning the menu uncertainly.
"Want some recommendations?"
"Oh, yeah! That'd be great?"
She seemed relieved, nodding eagerly—must've been deep in thought.
"Personally, I'd go with pasta or risotto. No strong smells, easy to eat neatly. If pasta doesn't appeal, steak's good too, but that's more of an evening thing, so not recommending it now. For something lighter, omelets are solid."
The menu had tons of options—pizza, chicken, salads, soups, you name it. But some felt off for a date, so I skipped those.
"Ugh…"
My long explanation seemed to overwhelm her; she grimaced like her head hurt, then picked something.
"Um… tomato pasta for me, then."
Good choice. I caught the part-timer's eye and raised my hand to order.
"Ready to order!?"
She dashed over, sweating nervously—definitely a newbie.
I recited our order slowly.
"First… two tomato pastas."
"Got it! Anything else?"
"Just two aprons, please."
Tomato pasta could splatter—better safe. Sure, transforming off and on would clean it, but it still feels gross.
"Right away!"
She headed to the kitchen, and while we waited, we chatted lightly.
"How've you been since that incident?"
I started to ease her tension, and she blushed a bit before answering.
"Y-yeah… nothing major."
Good to hear.
'That's what I heard last time.''This is my first time meeting the magical girl English Lavender, though?''…Right.'
Don't drag out stuff I don't wanna think about. Oh, right—she might be up for B-rank soon. I wanted to ask, but it'd probably be classified, so I was about to switch topics when she looked curious about how casually I'd ordered.
"You come here a lot? You seem right at home."
Back in the day, popular magical girls often came for love advice. Even when swamped, they'd beg for "one more practice," so I got used to this. No need to mention my manager days, though—I glossed over it.
"I've been here a few times with other magical girls."
But the moment I finished speaking, the cozy restaurant—bathed in warm sunlight—froze over like a blizzard-hit winter wasteland.
"What?"
The amethyst sparkle in her eyes vanished, turning to abyssal voids as she stared at me.
"With… other magical girls…"
The fresh, first-love shyness in her voice iced over like a sharpened spear, and she asked:
"You've been here?"
I started feeling like icy blades were piercing me from every angle.