Egosearching is Fun
As soon as Seoyeon and I entered the health room, she stopped the chainsaw she'd been holding and spoke to the male student.
"If you've faked being sick enough, get back to class."
"Hoo... hoo..."
He took a moment to steady his breathing with deep inhales, and soon his face started flushing red.
Before long, he began yelling at the health teacher.
"No, fuck! I just want to rest in the health room, is that too much to—"
"Don't wanna?"
VROOOOM────!!!!
"Haha, I must've lost my mind for a second. I'll head to class now!"
The moment she picked up the chainsaw again, he bolted out of the health room.
...Is this school really okay?
"Alright... then..."
She set the chainsaw down once more and turned her gaze toward us.
Her serious expression as she stared at us brought only one word to mind: white.
Her hair was white. Her eyes were white. Her shirt was white. Her top was white. Her pants were white. Her sneakers were white. Even her skin tone was a pallid, bloodless white.
Her entire body was dyed in white to a chilling degree, and I suddenly felt anxious—maybe we should've left when Seoyeon suggested it.
"Anemia, huh? Did you take your iron supplements? Come in and rest."
Surprisingly, she diagnosed Seoyeon's condition at a glance and took the appropriate measures.
"...?"
"Um... what was that chainsaw just now...?"
Ah.
In the end, Seoyeon couldn't hold back her curiosity and asked about the horror show we'd just witnessed.
"Oh, that? I just thought he was faking it, so I was gonna chase him out."
Good lord.
What kind of person threatens someone with a chainsaw just for faking sick?
I'd been thinking of pulling the same trick on days when I didn't feel like class, but I scrapped that idea immediately.
"You're probably just here with your friend. If you don't have business here, get going—wait, hold on."
?
What was that about?
"Ah, nothing. Must've seen wrong. Anyway, get out."
Soon enough, she waved me off dismissively, yelling that it was nothing.
What the hell is up with this teacher?
For now, she didn't seem about to do anything to Seoyeon, so I said goodbye and left the health room.
"I'll head back first. Rest up."
"Yeah... see you later."
Screeech...
So what the heck was that about with that teacher?
How does she get away with openly threatening people with a chainsaw without getting reported?
"Fuck!"
Meanwhile, the student who'd practically been chased out of the health room earlier...
"What the hell is wrong with that bitch? How has she not been reported yet?"
His original plan had been to throw a tantrum no matter what the health teacher said and crash on the bed.
He was too lazy for class, and the teachers had banned phones during OT time anyway.
He'd come to the health room to slack off properly, but he'd been momentarily cowed by the teacher whose entire body was an eerie white. Still, he'd stated his purpose.
'My head hurts, so I want to rest a bit.'
Of course, he'd pulled this stunt on health teachers dozens of times before, so he figured whatever logic she threw at him wouldn't matter.
'Yeah? If your head hurts, just get rid of it! Slam it hard enough!'
His opponent didn't respond to logic.
VROOOOM────!!!!
"Fuck!"
And that was how he ended up getting kicked out of the health room.
"I'm definitely reporting that bitch to the education office..."
As usual, he started preparing to report a teacher he didn't like.
"Heh. You're fucked now..."
He familiarly manipulated his phone to access the National Petition site.
Sometimes reports didn't go through, but in this case, he had direct evidence, so he was sure it'd stick—
ZZZT
"Ha... nah, no need for that."
But in the end, he set his phone down midway through filing the report.
Because everyone at school has to get along nicely.
♪~
"Good work, everyone."
Scraaaape.
Second period science class was over.
We hadn't really done much.
Aside from stepping out midway to escort Seoyeon, I'd mostly just fiddled with my phone and browsed the review site.
Hmm.
So what if I didn't get an autograph? This is the autograph.
...No, still, I should ask for one next time we meet.
"Whatcha doing??"
Ah.
I turned at the familiar voice to see Yena.
She'd been chatting with various kids earlier—guess she's the naturally class rep type.
Anyway, looks like it was my turn.
"Nothing much."
Honestly, I had nothing to do right now. My old life had been so busy that having free time like this left me at a loss.
That made Yena, who'd come talk to me, all the more welcome.
"Right! Did you hear about Pronesis's latest exploits??? She took down those super tricky kaijin and magic beasts and didn't even pick up the magic stones!"
...Hmm.
"Then she waited for other magical girls to arrive and gave them the stones—ughhh!!! Doesn't that show Pronesis's conviction that money doesn't control her!?"
No.
Well.
I guess it could come across that way.
I'd just given them away so the arriving magical girls wouldn't be stuck with the hassle.
"Impressive."
"Right?!?!?"
Of course, taking them down had been pretty cool, even by my standards.
"The goblin magic beast from three days ago—she used her abilities so cleverly. Turning Warp, which basically has no attack power, into a way to reflect the goblin's attacks back at it was hilarious."
"Ah! That one! You saw the CCTV footage too, huh! What I loved was six days ago, when she warped another magical girl near the scene, asked for help, and she jumped right in—then gracefully bowed and requested a review! There's this photo perfectly timed with the kaijin biting the dust, and it's so cute and cool!!!"
Oh, that was when I'd gone to help Lovely Heart. She'd been so close to taking down the kaijin herself, but got hit at the last second—it hurt to see. It wasn't a serious injury, but I remembered taking her to the hospital afterward.
Going over everything I'd done in the past week with her like this was more fun than I'd expected.
Is this why magical girls egosearch so much?
The praise pouring out—stuff she could say because she didn't know it was me—felt secretly great.
What if I revealed my identity right now? It'd be a fun experience just imagining it, but nah, I shouldn't.
A top-tier magical girl always knows how to keep her identity secret.
"Oh yeah, I heard Lumina Betaris came around here recently too."
"Uh, y-yeah!?"
The moment I mentioned Lumina Betaris, her reaction was instant.
"Was it six years ago? Her debut with just 'Light!' was so intense. She faced a D-rank kaijin right off the bat. Her unique magic's raw power is a bit low, but her innate mana compensates by maxing out the output. And that trademark—collapsing after firing her magic—is always adorable. It's a shame she doesn't use magic much these days since she's practicing swordsmanship, but infusing magic into her sword is a solid choice. It's still less powerful than pure magic for now, but compared to before, her growth is seriously impressive."
Ah, satisfying.
"Ah, ahhh..."
As soon as I finished, her face was red as an apple.
"I heard Lumina took down the kaijin that showed up at school recently. Think she enrolled here? She used to operate in the countryside."
"N-no way~ Sh-she was probably just visiting...?"
"Yeah, probably."
"Y-yeah! Definitely!!"
She seemed on the verge of discovering a new kink, so time to stop.
It was all sincere, though.
I'm not the type to make up empty flattery.
♪~
Luckily for her, the bell for third period rang.
"Ahhh... Th-thanks... Let's talk more next time...!"
She practically fled back to her seat.
A bit disappointing, but this is enough for now. Do it too often, and she'll get used to it.
Next class... Disaster Preparedness...?
Oh, right, the new one.
It started about three years ago, run by the Association.
From what I heard, any random teacher in the school gets assigned to teach it—kinda sad.
Very rarely, they dispatch retired Association magical girls, but schools like ours never ge—
"Magical Girl Pururi Pupu! Arriving on the scene right now!"
Whoa.
Where's the principal's office again?
I wanted to head that way and bow in gratitude immediately.