The Kunlun Servant's Life (Chapter 6)
“Crazy...”
“Get out. Tonight’s the new guy.”
The moment my pick-up line landed, my little brother’s eyes lit up with fresh interest. Together they stepped out of the tavern, the girl they’d chosen looking like she’d been carefully vetted.
They shoved aside every customer blocking their path, and the girl’s stride was smooth, deliberate. “Hey, don’t push—”
“Don’t push?”
“Heh...”
The other woman who had been sitting quietly drinking in the corner suddenly went bone-white.
Within seconds the entire tavern felt the weight of two stares. The pair walked straight to the center of the room, eyes locked on mine.
Two fat porkers bowed with practiced courtesy toward me and my little brother. “We are the Hubei Double Pavilion. How do you do?”
“Hubei Double Pavilion...”
“Ah, the Hubei—”
The word died on my tongue. The surrounding tables erupted in murmurs as they recognized the massive frames.
Of course they knew. Those thick bodies screamed Hubei money-lenders. “Different choice,” I muttered, already feeling my erection soften.
“...Pleasure to meet you. I have no grand title. Just Jin, my little brother calls me.”
My little brother returned the bow with perfect poise. For a moment the tavern was silent, then his older, fatter brother spoke first. “You must be heading to Wudang. A large party, I see.”
His gaze dragged over my body like oil. I prayed for Baek Seryeong’s safety.
“Wudang is our destination.”
“Ah... Wudang.”
My little brother had anticipated this. He gave a small sigh and began the long, painful process of politely turning them down. I only had to stand there looking stupid while he did the talking.
They weren’t stupid. The moment they sensed the small one was going to say no, the younger pig launched himself forward and grabbed my little brother’s wrist. “Come eat with us, Jin-unnie. We’ll treat!”
“I already—”
“Refuse and you’ll regret it.”
They were family. They’d known each other forever. My little brother strained to pull free, but the younger one’s grip was like iron wrapped in silk—faster and more precise than it had any right to be.
“You’re quite good,” I muttered, watching in genuine awe. “Where did you learn that?”
The older pig turned to me, lumbering closer with every step until the tavern itself seemed to tremble. “You’re coming too. No choice.”
“They’re heavenly-qi cultivators, fuck,” I thought. “If I get dragged in here I’m done for.”
Just as I was about to slip a thread of Black Heaven Ink God Art through my meridians, a crisp metallic sound rang out.
Swish.
“I told you to stay put.”
“Do-yeon!”
A blade kissed the fat neck of the older pig. My little brother’s wife—still hot as ever—had arrived in the nick of time, eyes blazing with that familiar dangerous passion.
The entire tavern felt the temperature spike.
“What the hell are you doing?”
“I... I... get your hands off my slave, you pig girl.”
The moment the word “slave” left my mouth, a vein popped on the older pig’s forehead. He looked ready to explode, but he forced the words out anyway. “We were only offering kindness. Where is your sense of etiquette?”
“You think etiquette exists when your bodies are so fat?” I growled. “I’ll gouge your eyes out, fatty.”
Do-yeon’s next line crossed every line. “That’s it. I’m done.”
In that instant my little brother drew his sword and the older pig produced a thick, heavy dao from his waistband.
“I’ll rip that pretty mouth off your face, you slut!!”
“Do-yeon, run!!”
They were both Second-Rate cultivators. Against a full-blooded pig they stood zero chance.
Yet I moved.
Crack.
“...What...?”
My hand was wrapped in pitch-black energy. The older pig’s thick dao had just been stopped dead by my fingertip, which was now buried halfway into the blade like it was sinking into sand.
We all froze.
Me. The pig. Do-yeon. My little brother.
“What the fuck, you piece of shit...!”
Clang!!
I jerked my hand back and the dao shattered on the floor. While everyone gaped, the younger pig moved.
“You little black bastard, what kind of sorcery—Kyaaah!!”
“Enough.”
A clear, bell-like voice cut through the air. I turned. A celestial maiden had descended from the sky.
*
“Eat your fill.”
“Yes, Lord Master!!”
“And this too, please.”
“Thank you!!”
The baby sister’s bright smile made every face in the room light up. A female disciple of that age eating roasted duck with such genuine joy was truly lovely.
“Here, drink some water too.”
“Yes!!”
Her delicate hands moved like a blur, stuffing herself with endless bites. Baek Seryeong smiled softly, then turned her gaze to another female disciple in the corner who had been watching her the whole time.
“Jang-seonim, you should eat too. The boys are growing like weeds right now.”
“Yes, Lord Master. Please eat as well, Lord Master.”
“I’m fine.”
Today was the baby sister’s first menses. A celebration of her becoming a proper woman.
Because we were Daoists, we usually couldn’t feed her meat. Today we would bend the rules. The fact that Dosi had come along embarrassed him, but we had dragged him here anyway.
“Everyone always says the roasted duck at Myeonggyeonggwan is the best, and it’s really delicious!!”
“Haha, yeah it is.”
She still had baby fat in her cheeks; they looked even rounder thanks to the roasted duck. How could anyone stay serious after hearing Master emphasize the importance of clear observation every single day? It was impossible right now.
Just as we were sinking into peaceful bliss, a rough metallic sound reached Baek Seryeong’s ears.
The unmistakable sound of a sword leaving its sheath. Her lips tightened slightly.
“Jang-seonim.”
“Yes, Lord Master.”
“I’ll step out for a moment.”
“...Understood. Come on, So-wol-ah. Let’s try one of our duck dumplings.”
“Duck dumplings!!”
Fortunately, quick-thinking Dosi had already spotted the weird atmosphere and pulled So-wol’s attention away.
Baek Seryeong quietly slipped out of the private room. It was a three-story tavern with an L-shaped layout.
She leaned on the railing and looked down. A loud argument was happening on the first floor.
“Who is that guy...?”
Among them, the one who drew her eye most sharply was the man with jet-black skin, taller and broader than anyone else, thick muscular build, and an impossibly strange hairstyle.
And those pants...
“Ah...”
Her cultivation eyes sharpened. In the growing clarity, the thing she noticed most was the sheer size of it. Her face flushed hot.
“...A... penis?”
It was clearly a man’s, yet the sight was like a dragon coiled in a narrow gorge. Then the black-skinned man shifted one step sideways and the dragon thrashed wildly.
“How...?”
She couldn’t tear her eyes away.
Her heart pounded with primal instinct. But below them, the situation was escalating fast.
“I’ll rip that pretty mouth off your face, you slut!!”
“Do-yeon, run!!”
Baek Seryeong finally looked away from the cock. She leaped off the railing.
Her waist sword sang as it cleared its sheath, but at her level she didn’t need the treasured blade. She had brought a simple chopstick instead.
When she flicked it toward the woman who still held the dao, the blade stopped instantly.
Crack.
“...What...?”
“What the—?”
The impossible had happened. A man’s hand had pierced the dao clean through.
While the others stared in shock, Baek Seryeong quickly changed targets and hurled her chopstick at the heavy woman charging from behind.
“You little black bastard, what kind of sorcery—Kyaaah!!”
“Enough.”
The chopstick struck a vital point with perfect accuracy. The woman collapsed like a sack of rice. Baek Seryeong landed lightly on the first-floor floor, her wide white Daoist robe fluttering like celestial wings and instantly drawing every eye in the room.
“The Wudang Immortal Maiden!!”
“Whoa!! The Immortal Maiden has come!!”
The tavern erupted. Word spread like wildfire: the woman everyone secretly called the most beautiful woman in Hubei had arrived.
“...”
Baek Seryeong stood quietly, calmly observing the two instigators. Her clear-observation technique made them look like they had been exposed to the light of ten thousand suns. The tavern’s constant chatter slowly died down into silence.
Everyone waited, breathless, for the Immortal Maiden’s lips to open and speak.
“Ahem.”
She calmly raised one hand and blocked the path to the black-skinned man.
“What do I do!! He’s been waving that thing right in front of my eyes!!”