Surviving My Half-Sister (7) 17
Afterward, Veronica visited the counseling office over the next few days.
But deciding whom to accept as a client was entirely up to my discretion.
I hadn't let her in since that dawn.
It wasn't about continuing some revenge.
Objectively speaking, what she'd done to me was just a few snide remarks and some ignoring.
And, well... from a little brother's perspective, giving my big sister psychological counseling felt extremely burdensome. It was like we could talk casually, but it still didn't feel casual at all.
Especially since she was spiraling off in this weird direction all on her own, talking about "forgiveness" and such.
It was awkward in all sorts of ways.
In the meantime, I couldn't afford to keep the other noble ladies and maids waiting too long for their sessions.
So naturally, Veronica got pushed to the back of the line.
Well, she'd already had three sessions in one go by herself, so it was only fair.
Whether she knew that or not, even when I skipped her, she'd show up at the front again.
Her complexion had improved a lot compared to before.
She seemed to be sleeping decently now, the shadows under her eyes faded.
So I figured there wasn't any big issue.
Just in case, I made sure to say something.
“If you keep coming like this every time, it's a bit burdensome for me too.”
Today, too, she was holding the second spot in line right in front of me.
I approached her and said that.
Using formal speech, just in case anyone else overheard.
She had to get the hint from that much.
That I'd be seeing other people for a while, so come back later.
Hmm, guess I've become a proper noble now.
I can even beat around the bush so naturally.
Wait, I was always a noble, right?
After saying that, I called the next client and turned away.
No response from behind me.
I didn't look back.
She should've understood something at that level.
“If you keep coming like this every time, it's a bit burdensome for me too.”
Burden.
That single word stabbed right into the center of my chest.
I stood there frozen in place for a while.
Isaac had already called another client and turned away.
His footsteps were completely casual.
His back looked like he had zero lingering attachment.
Seeing that brought back memories I'd forgotten.
“Hmm? I don't remember our family having any trash like this?”
Out of our parents' sight.
But right in plain view of the other servants.
“Get lost. You're an eyesore.”
The days I'd shoved that black-haired kid into a corner and tormented him.
I'd done it for years.
Eventually, even the family servants started looking down on him.
How satisfying it had been.
That black-haired kid would cower in fear whenever he saw me.
He'd tremble and flee to some corner.
I'd never thought it was wrong.
Driving out the monster that wasn't Sinclair red-haired.
Teaching the family disgrace its place.
That's what I'd believed.
But then.
‘It might be best not to dwell on it too much.’
I'd gone to his counseling office, unable to bear the headaches any longer.
Clutching at straws, and he said something bizarre.
That I was the one dwelling on it.
I surely knew it myself.
No way.
Or at least, I'd thought there was no way.
‘You were definitely dwelling on it.’
He calmly pointed it out.
What was tormenting me inside.
What lingered in me like a burden.
Only then did I realize.
The horrific things I'd done had been choking me for a long time.
Which meant.
I'd learned that fact from the very person I'd burdened with those sins.
Confused, I stared at him blankly.
The black hair that should have filled me with hatred first.
Strangely, it didn't disgust me like before.
I didn't want to admit it, so I told him not to talk nonsense.
But he stayed perfectly calm to the end.
‘It might be better to let it go.’
To let go of the guilt.
That I could forgive it all.
Even with my furious self right there, he didn't waver at all and said it kindly.
“……I never imagined you'd forgive me.”
I couldn't believe it, so I said it out loud.
The moment the words left my mouth, my heart felt so light.
And he looked at me like, why wouldn't I say something like that?
As if brushing off the past was the most natural thing.
Looking at him, I felt so pathetic about myself.
I fled his counseling office.
I didn't want to admit it, so I told myself it was a lie.
But afterward, I slept peacefully.
My head didn't throb with pain like before.
Ah, so that's it.
This was the burden on my heart.
Everything I'd done to you was crushing me.
And yet, with those words of forgiveness... I...
“……”
After that, I swallowed my shame and went to see him.
To convey my thanks.
But what came back was that line from moments ago.
“If you keep coming like this every time, it's a bit burdensome for me too.”
Burden.
Was I a burden to him?
I'd thought he'd forgiven me.
But all I'd done was pile on more burden.
No.
Maybe even the forgiveness was my delusion.
Maybe he'd just said something polite to soothe me in my pain.
Thinking about it, wasn't that the case?
Compared to the lifetime of malice I'd inflicted on Isaac.
What Isaac had done was just ignore me a few times in line.
And yet, pathetically.
A few kind words, and my body felt light.
I mistook the warmth in those eyes for being directed at me.
I actually let go of the burden at his words to do so.
I dared to believe that forgiveness was sincere.
Veronica Sinclair, aren't you too wretched?
I stepped out of line and walked down the alley.
As the shabby wooden building faded behind me, my vision blurred.
I walked and walked and walked, but my heart wouldn't leave that place.
My footsteps stopped.
I knew what I had to do.
“……A sinner deserves punishment, as it should be.”
Those who don't know their place need chastisement.
That's how I'd lived until now, so this was only right.
A few days later, in the morning.
I opened the first-floor door with my usual light steps.
But the atmosphere was off.
An eerie silence.
The ladies and maids who should have been lining up were plastered against the walls with horrified faces.
The narrow alley split into two lines of people on either side.
And at the center was one person.
No clumsy hood or plain dress.
Expensive black fabric.
The vivid red Sinclair ducal crest embroidered boldly on the chest.
Veronica Sinclair stood there, flaunting her noble prestige without even trying to hide it.
What the hell is that?
I squinted at the sight.
Was she planning to protest with her family's power because I wouldn't see her?
As that thought crossed my mind.
Thud—
Veronica dropped to her knees.
Bathed in the shocked stares from all around.
Not even a murmur of voices rose.
The filthy back-alley dirt floor.
The hem of the Sinclair family's proud eldest daughter's skirt soiled in the mud.
But as if that meant nothing.
Her forehead touched the ground.
“I have committed sins throughout my lifetime….”
“……Huh?”
“I have lived… in shame my whole life….”
The noble ladies around gasped, swallowing their breaths.
The maids outright covered their mouths, faces drained of color.
I just stared down at her, my mind blank.
“Until I heard it directly, I didn't even realize I was a sinner….”
Her voice trembled low.
Her proud red hair tumbled in the dust.
“And yet……”
Half-sobbing.
“I dared to take those words of forgiveness as sincere.”
She was confessing her sins to me.
“Hold on, Veronica—”
“I am sorry.”
A noble lady's public apology.
With her head to the dirt floor, no less.
My mind flipped upside down, then righted itself.
What is this?
Why?
No, how did it come to this?
I couldn't understand a thing, but one fact was crystal clear.
No one else could see this situation.
“Get inside.”
I strode over, grabbed Veronica's arm, and hauled her up.
“Now.”
“……”
Her forehead lifted from the ground.
Her hair dusted with dirt. Her lips bloodless.
But strangely, only her eyes were serene.
As if this was the most natural thing in the world.
I averted my gaze from hers and shoved her inside.
I closed the door and gave a quick bow to the lined-up clients.
“We're closed for today. Sorry.”
Click.
A sealed space.
Just me and Veronica.
If this kept going, there'd be problems.
No, it might already be too late.
Even inside, Veronica tried to kneel again.
Looking at her, I thought.
I had to deal with this woman somehow.
Right now.