It's a Horse! "Hiiing! (It's a Horse!)"
I'd been awake for a few dozen seconds, piecing together my situation as the wind rushed past, when the first sound escaped my mouth.
"Hiiing! (It's a horse!)"
My body started trembling uncontrollably, dizziness washing over me like a wave.
"Hiihiiing! (A horse!)"
What the fuck. What the hell was this?
Glancing down, I saw hooves instead of feet. Twisting my head back, there was a tail and a flank. I couldn't see it, but I could feel the shape of my face and neck. And the whinny coming from my mouth.
Yeah. I was a horse right now. A galloping horse. The same one that had been racing around the track while I chatted with that god.
"Hiihiiing, hiiing!? (Fuck you, you Homeless God con artist!)"
I'd been played. There was no god in this world. I'd never asked to reincarnate as a speechless monster. And even if it was a monster reincarnation, why the hell a horse of all things? Just because we met at the racetrack? Was this some kind of joke at my expense?
"Prurruk, pruk... (Ha... this is insane...)"
Monster reincarnation. I knew the trope from all those isekai stories I'd binged during my otaku days—the ones where the protagonist rampages as a monster. I'd heard of it, and when reincarnation came up, I'd gotten my hopes up. But isekai basics usually meant human reincarnation. I'd wanted to ask more questions, get some info on the world. Instead, I'd been yanked here before I could choose, dumped into a goddamn horse.
"Puhiiing, prurruk... (No, fuck, why can't I even speak...)"
I was clearly trying to form words, moving my mouth every which way, but all that came out was horse noises. Fuck. A horse. If it had to be a monster reincarnation, slimes were the best pick, right? The classic weak mob that evolves into something humanoid by the end, swallowing everything in sight and causing chaos. If not a slime, I'd have gone for something cool like a wolf—with a humanization skill, of course. But no. I was a horse. A plain old horse that couldn't speak. The kind that goes hiiing while carrying people around!
No eating random shit for levels, no savage bites since I wasn't a carnivore. Just a horse.
"Puhiihing, hiiing! (Fuck... what the hell can a horse even do...?)"
I racked my brain, trying to think of any upsides. Horses... they were fast runners. And those rear kicks? Supposedly brutal. One good hit could kill a person, I'd heard. Would that work in this isekai world? Sprint while dodging magic? Oh right, fuck—only neighs came out. Couldn't talk, so maybe practice some chantless skills? Wait.
Skills. That reminded me of the one thing every isekai had: the Status Window. Even in this horse body, if a status window popped up, there had to be something useful.
Yeah. What if I tried calling up the Status Window? Sta. Tus. Win. Dow!
The thought had barely formed when my mouth moved on its own. "Puhihik! (Status Window!)"
...
Nothing. My vision went mercifully dark for a second in frustration. I tried thinking Status Window, Stats, Info—even neighing them out loud. Just pathetic horse cries echoing around me.
'No, fuck, what am I supposed to do...? Did they really reincarnate me as a random mob? "Become EXP for heroes and adventurers" or some shit?'
I paced in circles, trying every trick I could think of until exhaustion set in. Finally, I looked around.
'Grasslands... That old bastard really dropped me in a classic isekai starting spot.'
To the right, endless plains stretched out, hills fading into the distance—probably more grassland beyond. To the left, trees grew thicker until they formed a dark, misty forest at the edge. A woodland bordering the plains? Fog clung to it, giving off a spooky vibe. And damn, it felt pretty cold—seemed like the season had carried over too.
Shelter, people, monsters—something. But the wide-open plains to the right? No dice. Winter had withered everything to dead grass as far as the horizon. Better head to the forest for water or whatever. I turned that way.
'Whoa... this thing is fast as fuck...'
What would've been a long walk for a human flew by in scouting trot. I reached the chilly, fog-shrouded forest entrance in no time. Even at an easy pace, it felt like biking speed. The body wasn't familiar at first—would I even walk right?—but it moved like an extension of myself. Was this isekai perk familiarity?
'Nah... no way... At least give me language skills or something useful... Not this bullshit...'
Shaking off the unease, I scanned the forest for water or anything. Just grass, black dirt, big trees. Oh god, why?
'Stick to low paths, avoid climbs for now...'
I bounded around like that for a while until the fog lifted, leaving a dim, shadowy woods. Problem was, besides trees and grass, there was nothing. Half a day as a horse, throat parching, anxiety building. Was I really gonna die of thirst in this isekai? Alone, unseen? No way.
I pushed harder to shake the panic—and then, faint water sounds.
'I'm saved! Fuck yes!'
Water meant survival for now. A wave of relief hit as I followed the sound to a shallow stream, deep enough to soak my hooves.
'Yeah, no way they'd drop me somewhere without water.'
I leaned in to gulp the clear water—and froze.
'No, fuck, this face...?'
Reflected back: dark brownish-black skin, black mane, a vicious, brutal-looking horse mug.
'...No, what kind of horse face is that? So goddamn menacing and thuggish. The track horses all looked the same—I couldn't even tell which was mine. But this? Overflowing with personality.'
A weird mix of emotions hit. This was my face in this world? This ugly, delinquent horse face? Back on Earth, I'd cleaned up nice—got modeling offers even. Not celebrity level, but street-pretty boy vibes. This brute...?
'...Fuck it. It's a horse face. Who cares? Other parts...'
I ignored the pang, took a sip, then checked the rest of my body in the water.
And another weird admiration hit.
'Holy shit... this body's a beast...'
Massive, ripped muscles everywhere. Horses had muscle and bulk, sure, but sleek—not this thick. Veins bulging over pumped slabs, sturdy and thick all over. I'd seen pics of draft horses bulkier than racers, but this was next level. Especially those thigh muscles linking body to legs—insane.
'This... this is the body I'll survive the isekai with...'
Horse or not, those thick muscles and veins screamed viability. Top-tier physique here, maybe? Testing it out, the body was shockingly flexible for a muscled horse. Waist bent! Neck swiveled full range. Felt like a different creature entirely.
Curious, I ducked my head between my legs to check my belly—and...
'...!? Wh-what the fuck is that monstrous shit!?'
Wrapped in black skin: enormous, beautiful twin orbs swinging heavily. If not for the position, I wouldn't have clocked them as balls—they were that huge and perfect.
'Holy... shit...'
Nothing like those animal dick terror pics online. Each orb fist-sized for a big guy—like two melons dangling. Thick veins, majestic form—enough to make me forget they were mine and just gawk.
Then, the protruding middle bit caught my eye.
'Right, horse cock. Gotta be like those terror pics—pops out from there?'
I flexed like I would on Earth for a boner—and out sprang something else to scream about. Ferocious size.
'Mother of fuck, what the hell!?'
Couldn't process it as my dick right away. Dusky red-black, thick veins popping, brutal shape and scale. Realization hit after seconds of shock, followed by a sigh.
'No way, fuck... I wished for a horse dick, but... this surpasses horse dick by miles, damn it...'
The terror pics showed length, sure. Heard about hardcore beast stuff in pornos. But this? Too vicious for that. Another sigh.
Coming here, I'd sworn off Earth's warped views on women. New life, old-school mindset: normal dating, cuddly romance with some isekai girl. Tons of sex with a loving partner—stuff I missed on Earth.
But even if I found a girl for that, could I use this? Huge dicks were fantasy, but this size? She'd freak and bolt. More 2D hentai territory than 3D reality. Sigh.
'...No choice. Humanization skill! Yeah! Gotta turn human!'
Lightbulb moment, like a switch flipping.
Classic monster isekai trope: humanization. If I got that...?
'Humanization skill = all problems solved! Ditch the horse form, resize that beast! Then I can fuck normally! Human version would still be huge, right? Isekai big-dick chad status, fuck yeah!'
Goal set: find a way to humanize, or die trying. Might not exist, but no—couldn't think that. Tears otherwise.
Humanization skill exists. Levels or whatever, I'll get it. Humanize, then enjoy isekai life!
'...Can't talk now, but... that'll change too, right?'
Resolve formed, worry crashed back in immediately.