Chapter 40
Chapter 40
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 40
Chapter Title: Laughing Hamburger
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I was just going to have a nice chat with him using a bit of violence and intimidation, but there he was in a neat suit with a gentlemanly demeanor.
This guy felt familiar somehow.
I'd definitely seen him somewhere before.
Suit.
Suit, huh.
Ah, I remember now.
"You bastard, you're from Horrifica!"
His name was Jeong Jun-il.
I had no idea if that was his real name or an alias, but in the game, he was a character designed to periodically stir up terror events.
"Pardon? Horrifica... Ah, that's what the Bureau calls us. So, you must be with the Tale Management Bureau!"
"Well, not exactly. But we're similar in that I'm here to rough you up."
"Haha. Well, if you say you're not, then I suppose I have to believe you. But it won't be easy to catch me."
Really, no.
I'd just come to beat up a reseller, that's all.
"Your eyes look pretty fierce."
"You. Where'd you get the Momentary Dream pills from?"
"If you're talking about those pills... your agency's staff smuggled them out for me quite nicely."
Jeong Jun-il looked at my face and smirked sleazily.
I had no idea what those Bureau bastards were actually good at.
If they couldn't manage the outside world properly, shouldn't they at least handle internal security?
"Well, if we hadn't taken their families hostage, they probably wouldn't have worked for us."
He seemed to think I was a Bureau employee and was trying to provoke me, but to me, it was just a minor lack of humanity.
Even before that, anyone who smuggles Bureau goods—even if their family is held hostage—is unfit to be a Bureau agent.
That's why the Bureau discourages marriage.
Agents shouldn't have anything more precious than their own lives.
It might seem cruel, but look.
Thanks to those family-loving fools, my precious goods didn't get resold.
So, there was only one response I could give.
"So what?"
"Ooh, you're a cold one."
As soon as Jeong Jun-il finished speaking, he turned around and picked up a dusty menu board.
"I'll order!"
Order?
Wait a second.
This is a burger joint, so ordering means...
"No!"
"Three hamburgers, please!"
Yes, sir!
*** It was like the mirror dimension from some movie—the space tore apart and stitched back together.
When I came to, Jeong Jun-il was gone, along with the black market merchant who'd been beside him. I was standing alone in some unknown room.
My mistake.
The sign was covered in dust, so I hadn't realized where this place was.
This was 'Laughing Hamburger', a high-difficulty tale.
The goal, like any other tale, was escape.
There were two big problems here.
First, it was a maze, and the layout changed every time, so even I had to find the exit myself.
Second, a clown roamed around constantly hunting for people.
The clown couldn't be killed physically or spiritually.
It seemed designed from the start without any damage mechanics at all.
I had no clue how Jeong Jun-il planned to escape, but he must have had some method if he'd entered this tale.
I needed to catch that black market ringleader as fast as possible.
Around me was just a single table half-buried in the floor.
I wasn't lucky enough to spawn near the exit, was I?
I opened the door to my side and stepped into the hallway.
The corridor was a typical maze with sections missing here and there.
"Let's go."
How long had it been since I entered? A severed arm lay on the floor, spurting blood.
The blood hadn't dried yet, so it was recent.
"Ugh, gross."
Had it been the clown's victim?
If so, Jeong Jun-il or the black market merchant?
Judging by the skin and thickness, it looked more like the merchant's.
No trace of the clothes it'd been severed with, no matter how I searched.
"Hrr... Ah..."
A faint voice echoed from afar.
"Hrrgh... Nooo..."
...
This was the clown!
I hadn't seen him for a while!
The moment he spotted me, he'd chase me relentlessly until I escaped.
I bolted silently in the opposite direction of the voice.
A skill anyone who's been chased before could pull off.
"Hrm. Kya-ha-ha!"
The clown's voice grew louder.
He was faster than me, even at full sprint.
Running alone wouldn't cut it.
I had to hide.
I shoved open a nearby door and slipped inside.
Cages stacked high, beyond them a door with a semi-transparent window.
This was the kitchen.
And the kitchen was also a place the clown frequented periodically.
"Damn it, of all places."
The clown was almost here by now.
No time to leave.
The cages didn't hold animals, but humans.
No.
Could you even call those humans?
Their bodies were so mangled they barely qualified as human anymore, clinging to life by a thread.
They'd probably lost their minds to the pain already.
They must have been trapped here since before the city turned to ruins.
Then the footsteps I'd heard behind me grew frantic, stopping right in front of the door.
The moment I ducked behind a nearby crate...
Screeech—
The door opened.
"Hmm...?"
Had he spotted me?
"Hrm, heh-heh. What burger should I make today!"
No, he'd just come in as usual.
I pressed a trembling hand to my chest to steady myself.
The clown gripped the bars and shook the cage back and forth.
"...Not enough meat. Ah... No! Gotta catch more quick..."
If he caught me, I'd end up in one of those cages too.
But even if I couldn't kill the clown, maybe I could smash the cages.
I didn't want to test it, though.
"Hungry! Gotta eat lots!"
His speech alone showed he wasn't right in the head.
A completely deranged being—no talking to that.
I couldn't resolve this with conversation like before.
"Ha-ha!"
Unlike the tale's name 'Laughing Hamburger', only the clown was laughing.
The clown opened a cage and pulled out a man.
The man showed no reaction, his mind still shattered.
The clown opened the door with the semi-transparent window and went inside.
From the slightly ajar door, faint sounds leaked through.
Faint breathing.
Couldn't tell if it was the clown's or the man's.
The sound of sharpening a knife.
Not a clear ring.
Probably dull as hell.
Then a short groan mixed with terror and pain.
Time to go.
Slice.
"Ah."
Slice.
"Ah!"
Slice.
"Ahh! It hurts!"
Slice.
"Aaaah—!"
Slice.
"..."
The screams cut off with the last one.
The griddle sizzled.
The slightly murky air confirmed it.
Still not safe to move.
The open door would carry even the brush of my clothes to the clown.
"Uwaaak!"
The clown's yell rang out.
Thud—
A hamburger rolled in through the door crack.
The patty and bun separated, scattering what looked like denim scraps inside.
"Shit! My burger! Dropped it... Nooo..."
Beyond the thick blood smeared on his face, the clown's caricature-like, comically jovial features sagged with tears.
But soon, his lips curled up, eyes crescent-shaped as he turned toward the cages.
"I'll just make another one!"
This time, he grabbed a woman and vanished into the door.
Bang.
The door shut completely this time.
I bolted out without looking back.
Now was my chance.
The clown wouldn't come out until he finished his burger.
About five minutes. I had to find the exit and Jeong Jun-il in that time.
If it looked impossible, I could ditch Jeong Jun-il.
I knew who the culprit was now—I could hunt him down anytime.
Run.
No telling which path was right.
Following some right-hand rule would trap me here all day.
But I wasn't without clues.
The clown mostly patrolled near the exit.
High chance the exit was near where I'd first heard him.
I'd memorized the paths, so no worries there.
And sure enough, I soon spotted the exit.
Along with Jeong Jun-il right beside it.
"Jeong Jun-il, you son of a bitch!"
"You even know my name. The Bureau shouldn't have that much info on me... Impressive."
"I told you already. I'm not with the Bureau. I'm just here to grab you for messing with my business."
I summoned tentacles from the shadows.
"You."
Jeong Jun-il's face twisted in disgust.
"You're not human. Wait. Ah... I see. The tale shop Yoon Seo-yeon reported on. But how did you get out of the shop? Not a normal tale. And your personality doesn't match what I heard."
"Doesn't matter. You're dying today."
No need to keep this villain alive.
"Fascinating. Truly fascinating! Sorry, but after everything I've seen and heard today, I can't just die here."
"Nah, you can."
My tentacles shot toward Jeong Jun-il.
"Whoa! Think I'd say 'wait' or something?"
The suit dodged lightly, twisting away.
"Behind you."
"Pardon? What do you m—"
"Kekeke! Found... you! Thanks!"
The clown burst out and snatched the unreacting Jeong Jun-il.
"Huh?"
The clown's vise-like grip crushed Jeong Jun-il.
"Gaaah! Damn it! Let go! Let me go!"
Jeong Jun-il, losing his composure, pulled what seemed like a stolen Rose's Cutter Knife from his sleeve and slashed the clown's arm.
As I'd said, the clown—who had no concept of injury—just loosened his grip for a split second.
But that moment was enough for Jeong Jun-il.
He thrashed wildly, fished a button from his pocket, and mashed it.
With that, Jeong Jun-il vanished, leaving only one leg thudding to the floor.
"Waaah! The meat's gone... Oh, but there's more here!"
The clown turned toward me, but I couldn't focus on him.
Jeong Jun-il had dropped the key to a Horrifica base.