Chapter 142
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Translator: 8uhl
Chapter: 142
Chapter Title: A Hellish Dilemma (2)
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“Brave sons of Mexico! We will not bow to the invaders!”
“Let us repel those vile United States invaders! Do not lose hope!”
“Even if all the lands of the north are taken, we will fight to the last man!”
Though inferior in strength, Mexico was a nation well-versed in fending off foreign invasions.
They possessed a fierce determination, a resolve to never surrender to invaders but to fight and struggle until the very end.
But the times were not on their side.
No matter how much the people rose up, they could not overcome an enemy armed with guns and cannons, pushing relentlessly forward.
They had harbored hopes that endemic diseases might wipe out the enemy forces, as had happened to other European countries, but the United States was different.
After the first engagement near New Mexico, the Mexican army could not help but realize the overwhelming difference in military power between the two sides.
Mexico’s leader, Santa Anna, felt an ominous premonition that if things went wrong, the capital could fall within a year.
However, the United States army, which had seemed poised for such a dominant advance, suddenly halted its march and fell into internal strife.
It was a miracle that could not be explained even by heavenly fortune.
Mexico seized the opportunity to pour all its available forces into New Mexico and Arizona. Despite sustaining continuous losses, they somehow managed to continue their arduous fight against the United States.
Of course, the United States commanders, faced with this absurd situation, were going mad with an anger that grew heavier with each passing day.
“Goddamn it! These fucking! Moronic sons of bitches!”
“G-General, sir! Lieutenant Colonel Bryant says he must return to check on the safety of his family…”
“What kind of bullshit is that! With the enemy right in front of us! Does he think he’s the only one in this unit with slaves in the South!”
Zachary Taylor had defeated countless Indians and Mexican troops, but he swore he had never been in such a god-awful situation.
At first, the army’s objective was clearly to conquer the west as quickly as possible. But then the Texans, who were supposed to cooperate, suddenly stopped listening, and the orders from the homeland, which should have been providing support, changed by the hour. It was truly enough to drive a man insane.
To make matters worse, his commanding officers whined daily about needing to return to their plantations in the South, which were supposedly on fire. He felt he was more likely to die from a burst blood vessel than from a bullet from those taco bastards.
“I, too, inherited one of the most prominent slave plantations in Virginia! If I can endure and wait, how can officers, who should be role models for the soldiers, think only of their own well-being? How are we to conduct a war like this!”
“G-General, sir! But the security in the states where the revolts have broken out in the South is said to be dire… I’ve heard some families have been beaten to death by the hands of those blacks.”
“Those blacks will face the stern judgment of the law, so we have no choice but to trust our country and wait. The orders from above were to at least occupy the Arizona and New Mexico territories, even if we cannot push further.”
Texas might not be listening now, but once they secured New Mexico and Arizona, it was only a matter of time before Texas fell in line.
If they set up a defensive line here and held their ground, how could those taco bastards possibly break through?
It was maddening to be stuck like this against an enemy they could easily crush with proper support, but there was no other choice.
The United States was in a situation akin to its own house being on fire; they were in no condition to fight properly.
If it were merely that, it could have been resolved quickly, but in the North, politicians were fanning the flames of this chaos by playing the blame game amongst themselves.
‘Those worthless bastards. They should at least finish the war before they start fighting. What are the soldiers risking their lives on the front lines supposed to do?’
Of course, he wasn't entirely unsympathetic to the sentiments of the Northern congressmen.
What they feared most right now was the British Empire entering the war.
If the British Empire, angered that the United States had deceived them, were to dispatch its navy, they would be caught between a rock and a hard place.
Their pretext was so solid that no other European power would come to their aid, and only Mexico would be celebrating.
No matter how much of a third-rate nation with a pathetic military Mexico was, they still had to commit an equal or greater number of troops, or they would suffer losses.
In that state, they were expected to check the Canadian army on the opposite border, face the Royal Navy coming from the sea, and suppress the black revolts in the South?
It was simply nonsensical.
The only way for the United States, certain to be isolated and helpless, to overcome this situation was to somehow appease the British Empire.
‘Do something, you goddamn political sons of bitches.’
As the officers’ entreaties continued, Zachary Taylor was seized by the impulse to blow up the White House and the Capitol building if he could.
***
The soldiers on the battlefield were in a state of panic, but they weren't the only ones who had completely lost their minds.
The person receiving the most criticism in this situation was, without a doubt, the man who had orchestrated the entire plan: the President of the United States, John Tyler.
“This can’t be! This can’t be happening! Does this make any sense? Why? Lincoln? Who the hell is this son of a bitch to attack his own country’s president during a war? He must be a spy for Mexico, no, a spy for the British Empire! There’s no way things would have turned out like this unless Killian Gore bribed Lincoln.”
Tyler, muttering incomprehensible words, turned his gaze toward Secretary of State Webster, who was staring at him with a look of utter bewilderment.
“Secretary Webster!”
“Yes, Your Excellency.”
“You said it was a perfect plan, didn't you? Then why has it come to this?”
Faced with the president suddenly shifting the blame onto him, Webster merely rolled his eyes, swallowing the curses that rose in his throat.
The president himself had drafted the plan and issued the orders. What was he supposed to do about him saying such things now?
“I believe our miscalculation was not considering that the slave catchers might have something like a journal among their possessions.”
“So how could Lincoln have gotten his hands on it! This is clear evidence that he is colluding with the British Empire!”
“But, Your Excellency. If that were the case, wouldn't it mean the British Empire knew all along that we were lying? Then they wouldn't have reacted this way; they would have condemned us immediately. It would have given them just cause.”
“That is…”
Both the president and the secretary of state still had vivid memories of their meeting with Killian Gore.
Killian Gore, though young, was clearly a capable politician.
He wouldn't have let such a prime opportunity slip by.
“Your Excellency. You must think calmly right now. There are more than a few in Congress calling for the president to step down.”
“I am thinking calmly, which is why I’m saying this. In my view, the British Empire is the mastermind behind all of this! They planned this whole thing from the start to fleece us!”
“…Your Excellency. We were the ones who shifted the blame to Mexico, and we were the ones who declared war. How could the British Empire have planned all of this?”
“…Lincoln. And the Pinkerton Detective Agency. They must all be puppets of the British Empire. The recent revolts in the South are also suspicious. How, with what intelligence, could those stupid black negroes stage a mass escape the moment the Southern army left? This, too, must have been instigated by the British Empire.”
Oh, so Killian Gore knew in advance that they would go to war with Mexico, and years ago, he had made Pinkerton, who was running a perfectly legitimate business in the United States, his puppet.
Furthermore, he had somehow secured a means to control the slaves in the South, and with all these pieces in place, he had manipulated the United States to move according to his will?
What in the world was he to do with this man?
“Sigh… Your Excellency. If Congress learns you’ve said such things, they will immediately begin impeachment proceedings. For now, the Southern congressmen are on your side since we’re all in the same boat, but they won’t want to risk a direct confrontation with the British Empire.”
“Such frustrating people! Why can’t they see that this is playing right into the British Empire’s hands!”
Last time, he had insisted on blaming Mexico for everything. Now, he was claiming it was all a British conspiracy. Webster no longer knew which tune to dance to.
He had kept his post when all the other secretaries resigned, believing in the need for consistency in foreign policy, but that had been the worst possible decision.
A deep sigh escaped him, filled with the belated regret that he should have resigned along with everyone else.
‘This bastard is a lost cause.’
A president who believed delusion, not reason, to be reality.
Webster was now afraid that the British Empire might somehow learn of these ravings.
This is truly driving me mad.
***
In diplomacy, the words “I’m sorry” solve nothing.
In matters between nations, an apology must be accompanied by corresponding compensation, so expressions of contrition are rarely used.
No diplomat was ignorant of this basic fact, yet Everett, the US Ambassador to Canada, repeated his apologies so many times he couldn’t even count.
“I am so sorry! The matter is currently under investigation by Congress, and we will share the details as soon as they are ascertained.”
“This is not a matter that can be concluded with a mere thorough investigation and an apology.”
“Of course, I understand. But we need to grasp the precise facts to know how we should apologize, which is why I say this.”
“I will say it again: my country has no intention of letting this matter pass lightly. Parliament has already decided to dispatch representatives to conduct a fact-finding mission, so please be aware of that.”
Everett repeatedly agreed, bowing his head for hours on end.
But without instructions from his home country, there was nothing a mere ambassador like him could do. That was an obvious reality.
In that case, his job was to make the United States Congress realize just how seriously this situation was escalating.
—The citizens living near the border, as well as Her Majesty the Queen, were greatly alarmed by the United States’ self-staged drama and the subsequent war with Mexico. We ask that Parliament take additional measures to ensure Her Majesty’s psychological well-being.
As soon as my letter, filled with as much dramatic flair as I could muster, was made public, public opinion, as well as that of Parliament, instantly reached a boiling point.
The Queen, whom the citizens of the British Empire currently adored more than anyone, had been disturbed by a commotion across the border—at a time when she was preciously carrying a child in her womb who might one day be king?
Worse still was the shameless audacity of pinning it on another, completely innocent country and even starting a war.
The Whig and Conservative parties promptly decided to each send a representative to Canada. Soon enough, I was able to greet some welcome faces, disembarking from a ship in a state of high excitement.
“Your Royal Highness! How great your worries must have been!”
“Parliament has resolved to investigate this matter thoroughly and clarify responsibility. We will support Your Highness in every way possible, so you need not worry about a thing.”
Disraeli, representing the Conservatives, and Palmerston, representing the Whigs, spoke in unison to condemn the United States, insisting they be held strictly accountable.
It wasn't just the Conservative Party that sent Disraeli; the Whigs, too, had sent Palmerston rather than a moderate like Gladstone. I didn't need to ask to know what they were thinking.
“Thank you. With such staunch support from Parliament, I feel the weight on my shoulders has lightened considerably. By any chance, has Parliament indicated what lines it is willing to accept?”
“It will depend on the attitude the United States shows, but the bipartisan consensus is that you may use any and all means conceivable.”
In other words, they were even permitting an alliance with Mexico and a declaration of war against the United States.
How reassuring.
Though they normally fought tooth and nail, shouting their opposition, when a situation arose where they could fleece another country, they would unite in convivial harmony as if they’d never fought at all.
It was one of the essential qualifications for a nation of infamous character that holds sway over the world.
Disraeli and Palmerston, who would have been at each other’s throats in Parliament, were now laughing heartily and flaunting their friendship as if they were lifelong companions.
“In my opinion, we must first isolate the United States’ executive branch. However, an actual impeachment could introduce unforeseen variables, so let’s conclude negotiations before proceedings begin.”
“As expected, Member of Parliament Disraeli, your insight is remarkable. I was just thinking the very same thing. And while we have successfully secured Oregon, I feel it would be a bit of a shame to end it here. What are Your Highness’s thoughts?”
“Of course, we cannot end it here. I intend to negotiate with both the United States and Mexico, so I would be grateful if you would trust me with this.”
“But of course. Everything for the British Empire!”
Palmerston raised his glass first, and Disraeli and I followed suit, clinking our glasses together and echoing his cry.
“For the British Empire!”
True unity, where left and right, ruling and opposition parties, conservatives and progressives, nobles and commoners, all came together with one heart and one mind.
This was the real “We Are the World.”