Chapter 121
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Translator: 8uhl
Chapter: 121
Chapter Title: Please Marry Me
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The Prince Consort of the British Empire must remain politically neutral.
This isn't a matter enforced by law, but it has long been recognized as a norm that everyone must adhere to.
In fact, there are countless instances of rules that, while not legally binding, exert a far stronger hold than the law itself.
This tendency was even more pronounced in high society, where tradition is paramount.
In other words, no matter what I do, if I become Prince Consort, I will have no choice but to step down from my ministerial position.
That fact itself does not change.
That's why I had intended to postpone my marriage to Victoria until I was as prepared as possible.
“Your Majesty. But even if we marry...”
“No, wait. Stop there. I know that you, Minister... no, Killian, have your own thoughts on this. But I'd like you to go back without saying anything more and gather your thoughts. To be precise, I need to gather my own.”
“Pardon?”
What is this about? She summoned me to come as quickly as possible, and now she's telling me to leave.
“I know it might not make sense. But I called you today primarily to inform you of the situation. And I wanted to confirm what risks being with me would entail for you, Killian, and whether the Whig Party truly recommended you with that in mind.”
“I see. However, I can give you my answer right now.”
“I'm not ready for it. To be honest, depending on your answer, I might just reach a conclusion without much thought or consideration. I don't want that. How can I stand tall if I don't deliberate on a matter that could have such a profound impact on the life of the person who will be by my side?”
So that's what this is about.
In other words, if I were to tell her not to worry because I have a plan, Victoria would likely say, “That's our Killian! I knew I could count on you!” and proceed with the marriage immediately.
But that would only be because I had resolved the risks on my own.
It seems Victoria doesn't want to just ride on my coattails in a matter as significant as marriage.
Of course, if she were unaware of the many risks I'd have to bear, it might be different. But now that she knows, she's not the type to just let it slide for the sake of convenience.
It also means she's thinking of me that much, which is admirable.
“Then I, too, shall take some time to organize my thoughts further. How much time do you require, Your Majesty?”
“It won't be very long. A day at the shortest, two at the longest?”
“Please don't feel pressured; you may take more time to think it over. I shall take my leave now so as not to disturb you.”
While Victoria organizes her thoughts, I can handle internal party matters.
I never imagined that the countermeasures I'd prepared for the possibility of Victoria going rogue would end up being used to counter the Whig Party's strategy.
Anyway, marriage... I thought it was at least three years too soon, but to have it brought up like this feels strange.
I was never married in my past life, either. Am I really going to become a married man this time?
No, it's too early to get sentimental.
I need to firmly establish a plan for how to handle this momentous issue.
Leaving Kensington Palace, I didn't return home but directed my carriage toward Wellesley's townhouse.
It's a good thing I gave him a rough heads-up, even if it wasn't precise.
Not that it's likely to lessen the shock Wellesley will feel.
* * *
After sending Killian away, Victoria remained alone in the spacious room, gazing blankly at the lavish furniture.
If we were to marry, would we live together in a room like this?
A ticklish feeling fluttered in her stomach, but thanks to her mental preparation, her mind remained calm, unlike her heart.
“Prince Consort... the Prince Consort.”
Killian is, at his core, a man of strong political ambition.
This was a conclusion she had reached after watching him since childhood, an indisputable fact.
He may not prefer the spotlight, but he has always been at the center of power and has never hesitated to exert strong influence over this nation.
But becoming Prince Consort would place constraints on such actions.
Of course, as the Queen's husband, he could enjoy far more than he does now, but that would be a life somewhat removed from what Killian desires.
To ask him to marry me despite that would be no different from saying, “You need to make a sacrifice for my happiness.”
“Killian will surely have a solution, won't he? Then there's no problem.”
It would be a lie to say such a thought hadn't crossed her mind.
Moreover, judging by his demeanor, Killian had undoubtedly prepared some brilliant plan in anticipation of marrying her.
Honestly, she was happy. Very happy.
The thought, “If there's a way for him not to suffer any loss, then there's nothing stopping me from proposing marriage, is there?” had indeed lightened her heart.
But at the same time, she was ashamed of her own complacency, of her desire to rely on him with such thoughts once again.
Looking back, ever since they first met as children, she had always relied on the boy who was a year younger than her.
Having grown up that way, a part of her couldn't shake the feeling that he would somehow take care of things for her sake.
“So, are you going to live like that forever?”
She had lived that way until now, so there was no rule saying she couldn't continue.
He had done so much for her even when they weren't married; what more could she expect if they were husband and wife?
She could rely on him and ask for anything, and he would surely grant her wishes, just as he always had.
“No.”
This was precisely the kind of bad thinking that would eat away at her own development.
Even if she didn't act on it, just entertaining the thought could have a negative impact, so it was best to restrain herself.
Victoria slowly closed her eyes and began to go over the anticipated problems.
As Killian had said, if they married, he would have no choice but to step down from his ministerial position.
And while he could remain close to the Conservative Party, he wouldn't be able to openly support them as he did now.
“But since the justification for the marriage itself is the inclusion of Ireland, there must be some way to approach it from that angle...”
Killian would surely find a breakthrough on his own, but she was the Queen of the British Empire.
There had to be some masterstroke that only she could execute.
As her thoughts reached this point, the time she had spent on futile worries felt wasted.
She shot up from her seat, spread several sheets of paper on the table, and began to haphazardly jot down the ideas that came to her mind.
If she analyzed them one by one, at least one usable idea would emerge.
No matter how much she pondered, her decision had been set from the very beginning.
From the moment Gladstone made his proposal.
No, from the moment she first saw him at Eton all those years ago.
Fate had already been decided.
* * *
The very next day after meeting with Wellesley to discuss the path forward.
True to her word, Victoria summoned me back to the palace just one day later.
Receiving me in her private chambers instead of the drawing room, she greeted me with a face far more tense and stiff than before.
“It's... been a while, no. Just a day... No, what am I saying? Anyway, did you sleep well last night?”
“I had many things to think about, so I didn't sleep all that soundly. It seems the same was true for you, Your Majesty.”
“That's right. To be honest, I don't think I slept for even two hours.”
“You didn't have to push yourself so hard...”
“No. I had to. And it's actually for the better. To say what I must say now, it's better to be in this slightly dazed state.”
Victoria drained a cup of coffee as if it were liquor and took several deep breaths.
Even though we both knew what was about to be said, it was still this difficult to begin. It was irrational, but perhaps that's where the romance lies.
“Your Majesty. Allow me to speak...”
“No. I must be the one to say this first. This... might sound a bit random, but Killian, do you remember the day we first met?”
“Yes. It was at Eton. I delivered a message to you with a card trick while we were having tea, did I not?”
“Even before that, our eyes met when I stepped out of the carriage. To be honest, Cecilia had talked my ear off about you, so I was a little curious about who this person named Killian was.”
My memory of it was hazy, but now it comes back to me clearly.
Our gazes definitely met then, and I wondered if she had been looking at me, only to scoff at myself for such a foolish, conceited thought.
But to think it wasn't just my imagination but the truth... that's quite a twist.
“Thanks to you, Your Majesty, my somewhat dull school days became quite enjoyable. As you are now well aware, I approached you deliberately because I wanted to get closer to you.”
“I suppose so. Still, thanks to you, I received immense comfort during a psychologically unstable time and was able to grow up without going astray. The knowledge I learned from you since I was young is why I can be respected as a queen today. No matter how many times I thank you, it wouldn't be enough... You saved my life, Killian.”
Overcome with emotion, she dabbed at the corners of her eyes with a handkerchief and continued.
“And yet, I feel I've never given you anything in return. I've only ever received your help, only ever relied on you...”
“That's not true. You gave me a great deal of help with the matter of Ireland, and also during the vote of no confidence in the cabinet.”
“Those were truly small things compared to what you've done for me.”
“Eating a raw rutabaga is by no means a small thing. Frankly, I couldn't do it.”
“Ah, that was truly awful... You're right. I should correct myself. I suppose I did work hard in my own way to repay your kindness.”
It was more than working hard; recently, she had been practically exploited for 'affection pay'.
It got to the point where I felt so sorry that I found myself treading carefully around her.
“Even when we were young, while I did help you, Your Majesty, you helped me just as much. The time I spent teaching you was also enjoyable, so it wasn't as if I was the only one giving.”
“I was always happy that the person visiting was you, Killian. And to be frank... when the Whig Party asked what I thought about marrying you, I wanted to agree right then and there. The only reason I couldn't was that I knew this marriage could become a shackle for you.”
“As I mentioned yesterday, you need not worry about that. I have my own plans.”
“I'm sure you do. Knowing the kind of person you are, Killian Gore, of course you would have a plan. But it's not as if that plan just fell from the sky. The fact remains that because of my selfish desire, you went to trouble you didn't have to, doesn't it?”
Hearing her speak like this, it was clear that while she hadn't shown it, Victoria had also been feeling a considerable burden.
She loved him and wanted to marry him, but how would one feel knowing that marriage could end the other person's career?
“Your Majesty. If I truly disliked the idea, I wouldn't have prepared countermeasures; I would have distanced myself from you. So please, do not feel burdened by something I did of my own volition.”
“I know. But the burden on you might not just be for now, but continue into the future. That's what being with me ultimately means. But despite that... and this may sound shameless of me, but despite all that, I... I want you to stay by my side, Killian... I want that.”
Her last words were barely more than a whisper, but I heard them clearly.
“Your Maj—”
“Wait. I'm not finished. I'm not, of course, saying that you should bear this burden alone. I will also do everything in my power to ensure this marriage has a positive impact on you. I will do everything I can as Queen, and if necessary, I will not hesitate to do things that could be considered political intervention. I've already thought of ways to do so. So, so...”
Unable to meet my eyes, she clenched her dress until it wrinkled, taking several deep breaths. Then, as if she had made up her mind, she looked straight at me and spoke.
“I love you. Please stay by my side for the rest of my life.”
There were no fancy modifiers or embellished words, which only made the confession heavier.
What more could I possibly add to that?
And so, simply.
I nodded.
“With pleasure. My Queen.”