A Retard with Convictions is a Disaster
After the students finished eating, the adults' drinking party kicked off in earnest.
Truth be told, it had been a booze-up from the start, but since we'd all gathered, it was hard to turn it into a straight lunch, so my peers quietly wolfed down their food and wrapped up quick.
"Ahh, I'm stuffed~"
They picked up on the hint to clear out...
"You kids go play in the room!"
"Let the grown-ups talk in peace~"
"Wouldn't you rather hang out just among yourselves?"
Thanks to the hilariously immature mountain of a dad and his buddies?, I managed to bail from the table unscathed.
Whatever—good's good, I figured, heading for my room.
"Let's go together..!"
For some reason, they were all trying to pile into my room.
"Girls, go to Hayeon's room. What do you think you're doing, a grown girl barging into a guy's space?!"
"Huh? But I wanna go to oppa's room?"
"Pardon?"
Hold up, hold up.
Did I empty the trash after last night's happy time?
No ventilation either—the place must reek of stale dude funk..!
"In that case.. give me five minutes. Can't show guests a dirty room.."
"No way!"
Hayeon bulldozed past me and flung open the door like a shot.
Our gorilla girl really doesn't give a damn about her precious oppa. Never helping her out again...
"Sigh, forgive the mess."
Once inside, Hayeon claimed the bed like it was her throne, as expected.
"It's cleaner than I thought..?"
Chae Serin eyed the room curiously, like it was some rare exhibit.
"So this is what a guy's room looks like.."
Han Jiwon, still awkward, plopped down in the corner.
"Unnies, whatever you do, stay away from the trash can! Might smell weird~"
That crazy bitch.
I shot the gorilla a glare, and she flipped me the bird like, what're you looking at?
"Why the trash can?"
Chae Serin and Han Jiwon tilted their heads, clueless.
"Haha, it's a guy thing. Right, Sooyoung?"
I tried kneading the awkwardly standing Sooyoung's shoulders to lighten the mood, but..
"Get off. I don't do low-class shit like you, so don't drag me into it."
Whoa.
This dude.. was a total asshole, way beyond expectations.
Lee Sooyoung plopped at my desk without asking and started rifling through my study stuff.
"What, you still haven't finished Calc 2? Semester's this far in—you should be at Probability by now, at least."
She flipped through my notes with a scoff.
Fuck, what the hell is this situation?
"Ha, and instead of studying, drums? Unbelievable. Well, guess the world's we elites live in is worlds apart. Gotta cut you some slack, right, Serin?"
Lee Sooyoung flashed a smug grin at Chae Serin, but..
"Out of nowhere?"
No dice.
"Nah, just.. a thug studying? Kinda funny."
She shot me a pitiful sneer.
In my memories, Lee Sooyoung was this quiet, soft-spoken kid..
How'd she turn into such a rude prick?
Chae Serin's past jabs at me felt downright noble by comparison.
"Oppa, isn't that a bit harsh?"
Our trusty gorilla finally snapped back, but..
"Hayeon, don't copy trash like him. Hang with someone like me instead. Smart guy who actually studies. What do ya say?"
Whoa, fuck.
Did she memorize the English prick textbook or what?
Hayeon's face crumpled in real time at that line.
"Hey, ease up."
Quiet Han Jiwon glared daggers too, clearly pissed.
"Ha, what's the problem? I'm just stating facts. What. Is. The. Is.sue?"
She pushed up her glasses and spat back word for word.
Was Lee Sooyoung hot?
No.
Built?
No.
I hadn't planned to go there, but.. she was peak skinny-fat, nerdy, loner, retard, virgin specimen.
"You don't even know why this meetup's been so long overdue, do you?"
Lee Sooyoung kept yapping, ignoring the hints.
"It's all 'cause of this asshole. We couldn't meet 'cause of Baek Haon. Don't you feel screwed over?"
Nope, not at all.
Don't wanna see your ass ever again after today.
"Middle school, nothing but trouble, thug shit. Even street fights?"
She tsked and shook her head.
Then..
"Future's obvious. Serin, watch out. Don't get tainted hanging with him."
Hmm..
Hmm..
Fine, acing foreign language high school? Props.
But.. social skills? Total disaster waiting to happen.
Army'd turn her into a sniveling bitch.
Just patched things with Chae Serin—don't need some nerd ruining it..
I glanced her way.
"Hey, so that means I can take it as you dissing me too?"
She looked more pissed than me.
"N-no, Serin, I was just worried about you.."
"Didn't you hear? Haon got first on the entrance exam."
"What does that have to do—it's just some shit-tier high school anyway.."
"Same school as me."
Finally.. finally! that nonstop yapper shut up.
"If even I, who got edged out by Haon score-wise, ends up a bigger retard than what you described?"
Whoa, first time hearing Chae Serin curse.
"N-no, that's not what I.."
"Sigh, what's the point of good grades if you're a total social retard."
Chae Serin's mouth ran like a motored runaway train.
"Agreed. And ugly too."
Han Jiwon's assist.
"Body's total anchovy—bet she'd lose to me in a fight."
Hayeon's finisher.
Perfect triple combo straight to Lee Sooyoung's gut.
Huh, guess with me trashed, I got sidelined.
"You're all nuts. Defending a thug like that! Bet he crammed just for the exam—look at him now! He'll pull the same middle school crap in high school.."
Still wouldn't quit.
Thugs ain't scary. They only bow to strength.
Nerds like her? Terrifying.
They don't even know they're wrong. They treat their bullshit as gospel and brand dissenters heretics. Total psychos.
A retard with convictions? Nothing scarier.
Most news-toppers started just like that.
But who am I?
Baek Haon, who's handled every flavor of retard!
First off..
"Alright, let me explain why our Sooyoung's getting retard treatment, point by point."
I clamped her shoulders hard and laid it out.
After shoving trash can tissues in her mouth so her screams wouldn't carry.
"One: You're a guest in someone else's house, but we don't have to play nice. This ain't a restaurant."
"Right right."
"Two: You picked tearing others down to impress girls. Tough luck—your zero social radar missed that everyone's just disgusted."
"Yup yup."
"And last.."
I half-summoned Baek Haon's soul and headbutted her forehead hard.
"You picked the wrong guy."
"Guhhh!!"
My grip strength's what now..
Over 70, I think? Poor bony-ass Sooyoung's shoulders..
Tears streaming, begging for mercy, thrashing.
Someone could've stopped it, but the show was too good—they just watched like it was popcorn time.
VIP seats—should charge admission?
"Sooyoung, like you said, I'm ex-thug. Can you handle it? Your big brain should've screamed 'don't poke' right away."
I yanked the tissues out.
"Y-you.. think you'll get away with this? I'll tell my dad, and he'll wreck you right—!"
"Tattle."
I jerked my head toward the open door.
"Can't wait to see how bad I fuck up. Kids, what went down here?"
Asking everyone but Sooyoung..
"Some retard trash-talking others to feel better?"
"Dunno? Monkey screeching—what's to get?"
"Gross—get lost already.."
They all piled on, faces twisted in disgust.
"Hear that? Go snitch quick. I'm thrilled."
I grinned maniacally.
"F-fuck..! I'll ruin you.. all of you.. see what happens when you mess with me..!"
"Sooyoung, last chance. Apologize and we're done. I'm tired too."
"F-fu-fuck off!"
See?
Conviction nerds are the scariest.
Normal folks'd grovel by now, but she doubles down to the end.
Hated to go this far, but oh well.
"Daewon Foreign High's near Baekgok Boys, right?"
"W-what?! Our school's got no thug trash like you anyway."
"Nah. You're smart, so you know Baekgok Boys' rep—and most are Baekgok Middle grads."
I whipped out my phone, scrolled contacts.
Hmm, who? Sungkyu got manners training last time—pass.
Ooh, this guy's perfect.
"Jichan, you free? Nah, no biggie~ What? Not beating you—character building."
"W-wait.. Cha Jichan..?"
"Just curious~ No big deal~ Daewon Foreign High? Some kid there badmouthed me? Wild. Yeah, name? Lee Sooyoung~ Says she's not scared of upright thugs like me! But terrified of you, the Daewon wallet-snatcher~? Still not reformed, Jichan?"
Her face darkened fast during the call.
Why? Rumors said Cha Jichan treated Daewon lambs like ATMs.
Told him to quit, but he kept at it—planned re-education anyway.
Perfect timing!
"Sooyoung, Jichan wants a word!"
Handing over the phone—her face went from pale to blue, near tears.
That scary? Passed out after two from me.
"H-H Haon.. I fucked up bad. Please.."
Whatever he said, she finally groveled on the floor.
"Apologize to everyone here, me included. If our princesses accept, maybe I'll reconsider."
"S-sorry.. really!"
She groveled palms burning, but..
"Scram."
"Fuck off."
"Ptooey."
Their replies could freeze hell.
And with that!
Sooyoung's school life's fucked for good!
"Please..!"
Her wail echoed to the living room, but..
Adults were too wasted to care.
"Uwaaaah..!"
Mental snapped, she bolted solo.
"Oppa, what if she offs herself?"
Our Hayeon.. why so extreme?
"Don't worry, just a scare."
I'll text Jichan it was a prank. Believe it or not, his call.
Won't babysit, but disobey me? Half-dismembered. He'll behave.
Yup, on his own. Nicely~
Know what I mean?
Sooyoung! Better than direct lessons from me!
Ditch that shitty conviction—reborn as human!