Confidence: A Man's Greatest Weapon! The Club Fair Kicks Off
I'd had a quick chat with Kim Minji at the school store, and when I got back to class...
"Haon, you've finally ditched us for romance, huh?"
Kim Taeyang spouted his nonsense, followed by...
"Nah, we've always been extras. Time to accept it, Taeyang."
Lee Wooju's bullshit piled on.
No, you crazy bastards.
You're the protagonists, and I'm the side character here?
I gave them a pitiful look, and...
"Whoa, what's with that glare!"
"How dare he... how dare he treat us like losers!"
They growled and lunged at me instead.
Not that it amounted to much—just hanging off my shoulders like playful puppies.
"Jealous of me playing around with girls?"
I calmed the guys down and put on a stern instructor face as I asked.
"Obviously."
"No way... Lord Baek Haon..."
They perked up with bloated expectations, snapping to parade rest and listening intently.
I hadn't even told them to—they just knew.
Perfect. I nodded naturally and spoke.
"That's right, you pitiful recruits. Your instructor, Baek Haon, will pass down his golden tips."
Gulp.
Lee Wooju and Kim Taeyang swallowed hard.
"The method... to get close to girls!"
"Kiyaaah!!"
They cheered like maniacs, totally buying into my prank.
Lee Wooju and Kim Taeyang's dazed eyes sparkled now, pulling out notebooks and pens to jot down my tips.
Hmm, I was just messing around for fun, but they're so desperate... As their friend, I couldn't just let it slide. I'd already decided to help anyway.
Time for me, who'd devoured hundreds of romcom novels, to step up personally.
"Listen well."
The guys nodded vigorously, more focused than in any class.
"First: Get handsome."
"..?"
"You messing with us right now, human?"
Lee Wooju and Kim Taeyang chucked their pens, ready to pounce.
Like orangutans robbed of their food?
Ukkikiki! It was hilarious, but there wasn't a gram of joking in this lesson.
"Your instructor knows why you're making those faces. What do you think [getting handsome] means?"
"Uh, just be born handsome, right?"
"Wrong."
I pulled a 30cm ruler from my locker and thwack—smacked Kim Taeyang's head.
"Then... it means dress up?"
"Half right, half wrong."
Thwack—the plastic ruler came down on Lee Wooju's head too.
They stared at me, totally clueless.
Pathetic guys.
How could dudes who don't even know the 'L' in love be protagonists in a romcom world?
I'd have to spoon-feed them from one to ten.
"What's your standard for handsomeness?"
If I fed them everything, these idiots would turn into puppets who couldn't do shit without me.
Yeah, slowly.
Teach 'em to take baby steps, until they can run marathons.
That's my role!
Lee Wooju and Kim Taeyang racked their brains at my question. About two minutes passed.
"It's kinda vague."
"Yeah. At first I thought instructor-level was handsome, but compared to idols... meh?"
"Right, right."
You little shits.
I said enlighten yourselves, not bite your sky-high master.
I whacked Lee Wooju's head again for throwing the bait, then resumed class.
"As you recruits said, handsomeness is super vague. Fans chase some idols calling them hot, but ignore others coldly."
"But that's just taste, right? They all look good anyway."
"Ahh, yes! Great point, recruit Kim Taeyang. You've pierced the essence: basics matter. Excellent."
"Fuck, so we're screwed anyway!"
-Smack!
Lee Wooju's sudden acceleration made me hit harder than intended.
"Urgh..."
He clutched his head, groaning shallowly. Too bad—your instructor ain't turned on by guy moans at all!
Regret twisted into schadenfreude magic instead.
"Recruits. Listen up. You're not ugly."
I looked at them with sincere eyes.
"This instructor only teaches recruits with hope. Participating means you're qualified."
"..Huh?"
"..Me?"
Lee Wooju and Kim Taeyang checked the mirror in disbelief.
As I said before, these guys are key characters. Unless the author's an idiot, they wouldn't be ugly.
Even if they don't realize it.
"Exactly. Don't believe me? The girls will judge too!"
"But... I lack confidence."
"What if they roast us? Lifetime blanket-kicking!"
"Ahh, right... What was the first lesson I taught?"
"...Get handsome?"
"Yes. You are handsome. But you don't seem handsome."
They pondered my words carefully.
"So... we gotta believe we're handsome?"
I couldn't help but grin at Lee Wooju's answer.
As expected of the original protagonist—his brain spins fast. Comprehension speed's on another level.
The orangutan next to him still had no clue.
"Correct, recruit. Without confidence in your looks, others see you as average."
"But overconfidence doesn't fit..."
"Shut it!!"
My voice boomed at Kim Taeyang's dumb question. Classmates glanced over curiously, but...
Whatever?
I was used to the attention by now. So... no stopping this lesson!
"Even if that happens, never lose confidence. Who throws away themselves when the world criticizes?!"
Did my fervent sincerity get through? The orangutans stared blankly for a bit.
Then...
"Ooooh..!"
Thunderous applause rained down.
"As expected, Instructor Superstar's different!"
"I get it. We lacked confidence. We were too chickenshit to even try!"
You brats.
You've finally awakened to the truth.
"What makes a man?"
"Confidence!"
"What makes a man?"
"Confidence!"
"Class dismissed. Refine yourselves to my satisfaction, then we'll advance!"
"Yes sir!"
"Loyalty!"
Lee Wooju and Kim Taeyang saluted and returned to their seats.
That should sink in, right?
I spoon-fed them— if they can't swallow this...
They ain't human.
Periods 6-7 were club promotions instead of class, just like Kim Minji said.
Tough choice... Aptitude-wise, sports clubs seem right.
High school clubs were meh overall.
If I joined, I'd dominate instantly, sure.
But it'd be boring.
No need.
Ever seen an NBA baller goofing off happily at a middle school court?
Not that big a gap, but same vibe.
Boredom and hassle quick.
Pass.
As expected, sports club seniors swarmed my build.
"Sorry."
I politely declined.
After sports, literature clubs.
"Hmm, literature..."
My past life was all webnovels.
Exploring lit here might be fun.
Writing, critiquing, debating—tempting, but...
Webnovels at home. And this is pure lit...
I didn't hate pure lit, but didn't love it.
Too formulaic? Dopamine fizzles out often—no binge material.
Pass.
Next, academic clubs.
Most kids eyed these.
Elite school—college prep talk galore, naturally.
"Isn't the top entrance exam scorer here?"
Seniors spotted me immediately.
"Join us. It'll help a ton."
They shoved posters at me.
Nope, hard pass.
I can handle grades solo.
And PE uni anyway.
My head's packed with more PE entrance info than an encyclopedia.
Pass again.
Nothing clicks, huh.
Promos wrapped up quick. Or halftime, really.
"Period 7's in the auditorium—get seated on time."
Yeah.
Second half: performance clubs.
Stage pros only—elite performers.
Chae Serin's dance club too.
"Haon! Let's go!"
Kim Taeyang buzzed for hot seniors.
Lee Wooju mirrored my conflicted face.
"Where you joining?"
He fished for my answer slyly.
"Dunno. Watch performances first."
"Ugh, why stress over clubs?"
Of course—essential romcom school trope. Protagonist can't pick randomly.
I don't care, but no boring picks.
If stuck, drag Seohwan along.
We filed into the auditorium.
Lee Wooju and Kim Taeyang beside me; Chae Serin and Kim Minji ahead.
Seats settled, Lee Wooju casually...
"Serin, decided on a club?"
He nudged her shoulder like normal.
Ooh..!
Lee Wooju—did my lesson stick? Boldly chatting her up!
Teary pride in my disciple's growth, but...
"Show starting!"
Noise and stage start drowned his plea—Chae Serin missed it.
"Kuhk..."
"Good effort."
I patted his shoulder, enjoying the show.
Order: dance, theater, choir, orchestra, hip-hop, band.
"Kiyaaaaah!!"
Dance club's start—nearly deafened by boys... monkeys howling.
My side orangutan Kim Taeyang screamed loudest.
Just follow Seohwan.
Shows flew by. Blinked—last up: band club.
Instruments ain't my thing—skim and skip, but...
"Who's that senior?"
"Kid? How's she high school height?"
"Flailing hard?"
"Drummer, huh."
"Lame~."
"Kinda cute tho..?"
The drummer senior caught eyes weirdly.
Pre-show nerves? Eyes glued down, clumsy but sticks gripped tight.
What is it?
And.
"...Starting."
Her tiny voice, then—
-Dududududu-BOOM!
Sticks flew fast.
"Woooaaah!!"
Audience erupted.
Her face transformed completely.