It's Choi Dohyun, You Bastard
"Man, it feels like forever since I've been to a Korean BBQ place! We barely even do team dinners anymore. Back in the day, the three of us used to go out for meat all the time."
The original plan had been to sit down over a meal and hear about this Park Woojin character. Instead, we'd somehow ended up coming here together, which meant I didn't need anyone to tell me what kind of person he was. I was getting a firsthand demonstration. Not that it mattered. He kept running his mouth all by himself, and nobody was paying him the slightest bit of attention.
"Ah, so that's why Dayeon nuna was so ridiculously cute that time, you know?"
"Right?! I clipped that and saved it, hehe~"
"No way, Eunchae, you have to share that right now..!"
"Hey! Both of you, stop fangirling over me right in front of my face!"
Eunchae and Dayeon nuna had long since turned their full attention my way.
"...J-just eat the meat, everyone..! It's all done..!"
Whatever he'd been hoping to prove by grabbing the tongs and declaring himself grill master, I was grateful. It meant the three of us could talk among ourselves in peace. Dayeon nuna looked thoroughly embarrassed and thoroughly unhappy about it, of course. But she didn't seem any more interested in talking to Park Woojin than we were, so she stuck with our side of the table, grumbling the whole time. It was extremely cute. Which was exactly why Eunchae and I couldn't stop teasing her.
Of course, it wasn't like we were only doing it to get a rise out of her.
"Honestly, though, my favorite version of nuna is when she's being a little clumsy, you know?"
"I love that too! Unnie's usually so good at games, but every once in a while she messes up, and when she freezes like that it's just so cute!"
Sure, ribbing nuna was part of the fun — but I'd never had anyone to do fan-talk with until now. It was too much fun. Meeting another fan and talking like this was the absolute best.
"Eunchae, you get it!"
"You know unnie pretty well yourself, Dohyun. Hehe.."
"Ugh, seriously. What am I supposed to do with you two fanatics? Ah, looks like the meat's done. Everyone eat and then we can talk!"
Park Woojin had said something similar a minute ago, I was pretty sure. But where his words had blurred into the background like static, nuna's voice rang crystal-clear in my ears. I couldn't figure out why.
"Oh, meat~ Looks so good!"
"Let's get some grease on our fingers and get back to the fan-talk, Dohyun!"
"Sounds perfect! You eat plenty too, Eunchae! Can't have you running out of steam mid-conversation!"
"Oh, is that how it is? Keep this up and I'm not paying. I'll just walk out!"
And there it was — nuna's adorable little threat.
"Using the check as a hostage..! That's so mean, nuna..!"
"Nuna..? Hey, you just called the boss 'nuna'—"
"Hear, hear! If you're leaving, leave the card!"
Park Woojin looked like he was about to say something, but Eunchae cut right across him, and whatever it was vanished unheard.
"Hah.. fuck.."
He was sitting right next to us, stuffing his face with meat and muttering curses under his breath. Of course we could all hear him. Yeah, not my problem.
"Be honest, you two. You're not fans of me. You're fans of my credit card, aren't you?"
"No way! I'd still be happy even if you walked out without paying, nuna!"
"Whoa, Dohyun.. that's some hardcore fan behavior.. I'd still prefer if unnie paid, though."
"Ugh, I really might just leave without paying."
"Don't be like that — just eat some meat, nuna!"
I wrapped up a ssam and held it out toward her.
"Hey, you little shit, what do you think you're doing to the boss—!"
"Ooh~ nice wrap! Aah~"
"Huh? I made it for you to take with your hands?!"
"Ah! Can't you see I'm waiting?! Just put it in! Aah!"
Nuna, sitting there with her mouth wide open, waiting for me to feed her my ssam..?
No. This wasn't devoted-fan territory anymore. This was... I'd completely lost my mind, hadn't I?
"Ah, my jaw's gonna fall off!"
"Eek, sorry!"
She couldn't even wait for me to finish processing what was happening — she was already hurrying me along. I moved to put the wrap in her mouth, but—
"Here, here! If your jaw's gonna fall off, just eat it yourself!"
Eunchae suddenly lunged in and started stuffing meat into Dayeon nuna's mouth, piece after piece.
Ah... ah... what a waste...
"Mmph.. hey, thop it..!"
"I wonder what 'thop it' could possibly mean~"
Anyone could see nuna was telling her to stop, but Eunchae shoved a few more pieces in anyway. She only set her chopsticks down after nuna smacked her on the back.
"Aah, my hand stings so bad. But it's an industry reward..!"
"I'm so jealous..!"
"Don't be jealous of something like that, Dohyun..!"
Watching nuna gulp down the meat, I suddenly remembered she had a genuine talent for mukbang. Come to think of it, she always did look like she was savoring every bite. Viewers used to tell her to do a proper eating stream whenever she ended up having a meal on broadcast.
"Then I'll just eat Dohyun's ssam myself!"
While I was lost in thoughts about nuna's mukbang potential, the wrap in my hand disappeared straight into Eunchae's mouth.
"Hey..! I made that for me! Why are you eating it?!"
"What's the big deal~ Unnie already hit me, didn't she~"
"What did you just say, you little brat?!"
Smack-! Smack!
Nuna started slapping Eunchae's back again, and I eventually had to step in and break it up.
"Ah, that's enough, nuna..! She's going to throw up everything she just ate..!"
I really did not want to see that happen in a BBQ restaurant. I managed to talk nuna down and get her back in her seat.
"Whew, thank god."
"Wow, Dohyun. I thought you were saving me! You just didn't want to see me throw up..!"
Eunchae lodged something resembling a protest after she'd finally swallowed, but nobody was particularly interested in hearing it.
"Ah, Eunchae."
We'd been having a great time, and apparently he'd decided that if he couldn't join the conversation, he'd just pull people out of it one by one. Park Woojin called Eunchae's name. Well, it was hard to ignore someone when they said your name that blatantly. He'd thought that one through, at least.
"Yes? What is it."
Eunchae answered this time — even she couldn't quite pretend she hadn't heard — but she didn't bother turning to look at him.
"Hey, I'm talking to you. Look over here."
"What, you think you're pretty? If you've got something to say, just say it."
The ice in her voice was nothing like the way she talked to me. I watched a vein bulge on Park Woojin's forehead.
"...No, I mean.. ahem. Why didn't you answer when I texted you earlier?"
So he'd claimed he came in because he had nothing to do and wanted to work. Turns out he'd come to see nuna and Eunchae. Yeah, that tracked. He didn't look like the type to work hard at anything. No way he'd actually shown up to do his job.
"Huh? A text? I didn't get one."
She still sounded completely uninterested, popping meat into her mouth and dropping pieces onto my plate and Dayeon nuna's as she answered. Park Woojin kept trying, desperately, to keep the conversation going. Man... watching him try that hard was starting to make me feel a little sorry for him.
"You didn't get it? That can't be right. I sent it like three hours ago.."
"Ah, right. I blocked sunbae's DMs. That's probably why?"
"Huh? You blocked me? Me? Why? What the hell, when?! So that's why you never answered any of my messages?!"
Most people would be embarrassed. Park Woojin announced that he'd been left on read like it was nothing.
"Ah, why does that even matter."
Eunchae frowned like he was making a fuss over something completely unimportant — then suddenly whipped her gaze around to me.
"Ah, right! Dohyun, I sent you that clip of unnie I saved earlier over KakaoTalk. Did you see it?"
And just like that, her eyes were sparkling again as she talked to me. This woman, I realized, was the type who simply stopped acknowledging people she didn't like. Completely.
"I'll check when I get home. When we're all together, we should hang out together!"
"She says she blocked me.. and she's texting this bastard..?"
The dazed muttering was pretty satisfying to listen to, I had to admit. But the constant "hey," "you," "this bastard" was honestly starting to piss me off, so I decided I was done being polite. I wasn't normally the type to do this kind of thing. But the more I looked at Park Woojin, the more obvious it was that he was a bully-the-weak, grovel-to-the-strong kind of guy. Letting it slide wasn't an option.
"It's not 'this bastard.' It's Choi Dohyun, you bastard."
"Wh-what..? Hey, what did you just say?"
"I said 'you bastard.' What, you get to call me this bastard and that bastard, hey, you — but I can't? That double standard of yours is a real ugly look, Woojin."
"Hooooly, that's amazing..!"
Eunchae's eyes lit up. She covered her mouth with one hand and shot me a thumbs-up that only I could see.
Cute, Eunchae.
"I've never seen such a crazy bastard in my life. Hey, do you even know how old I am?"
"We're both in our twenties, and you're pulling the age card. Sheesh. Well, good for you, Woojin. Must be nice being so old."
"You son of a— hey, that's it. Get the hell outside, right now—?!"
Thud-!
He reached out like he was going to grab me by the collar, so I shoved my chair back. He pitched forward and went down face-first.
"Oh my, I thought you were going for my collar so I dodged. Terribly sorry about that."
"Y-you son of a bitch, you really..!"
He flopped around on the floor trying to get up, and it was such a good look on him that I didn't offer a hand. I just watched.
"Kh.. ugh.. ah, fuck.. this is so humiliating.."
At least he wasn't completely shameless. He muttered to himself as he finally pushed himself up.
"Hey, let's go outside!"
He didn't reach for me this time — probably didn't want to eat floor twice. He just stood there, eyes bloodshot, jerking his chin toward the door like I was supposed to follow.
"Hmm, and why exactly would I go outside..?"
He was the one who'd turned a perfectly good meal into this circus. I didn't see why I should do what he said. I pulled my chair back in and went back to eating.
"And keep your voice down, Woojin. It's embarrassing. Everyone's staring. What if someone recognizes Dayeon nuna? You have any idea how mortified she'd be?"