Peekaboo!
I turned my head toward the distant cry of a child. *Rukaa!* It was Luca waking up.
“Just a moment.”
I excused myself from Sister and left my seat.
I sprinted to the parking lot. There was Greg, holding the baby, looking utterly flustered. Luca pushed at Greg’s face, wailing in the most pitiful way.
“Oh dear, Luca~”
“Eeeehhh!”
The moment my voice reached him, the little one turned my way and cried even harder.
I scooped up the struggling child from Greg’s arms, and the cries gradually subsided, leaving only hiccupping sniffles.
Greg, looking utterly spent, planted his knees on the ground and bent forward, shaking his head.
“When babies cry, your heart just drops straight to the floor.”
The prospective father muttered this, his face showing how scared he was of the future ahead.
I wiped the hiccupping baby’s face with a tissue and smiled.
“Thank you. Even for just a bit, you were ready to lose it.”
I soothed the child and started spinning around in place. There was still so much more to say, so I couldn’t go home yet.
While I was doing that, a familiar gray Mustang pulled into the lot.
The priest, who was lean but tall with a full head of silver-white hair artfully sprayed into place, stepped out of the car.
The dapper priest smiled brightly when he spotted me.
“Oh, Junie! You’re here!”
“Hello, Father.”
“Yes, yes. How’ve you been? I heard Elioise brought you a bag, so you must’ve been doing well… Wait, one sec.”
The priest lifted a small child out from the backseat.
“…Ah.”
I didn’t need the introduction to know who the child was.
Slightly lighter golden hair than Luca’s, and the same light brown eyes. He was taller than Luca by at least a head, but leaner overall.
Leaner than… Luca’s…
“Father. This child is…”
“Ah, we brought Reni along so he wouldn’t get bored while we did our rounds. Isn’t that nice? We’ll even go for a little drive.”
“Rounds…?”
Greg beside me tilted his head in confusion.
It was a home visit, the so-called *home confession*, of course.
The priest waved his big hand as if dismissing such details.
“Oh, is this Luca? You’ve grown so much! But you’re still nowhere near really big. Those tiny hands are still there, right?”
The priest gently wrapped his fingers around Luca’s small hand and shook them. Luca…
The baby, who had been watching the newcomer, suddenly snatched his hand away and turned his head.
“Oh dear, you rascal.”
I replied lightly to the still-healthy-looking priest.
“Luca says he doesn’t like you, Father.”
“Huh? He’s just being shy, of course I’m not a bad guy. Kids love me so much.”
He reached over and patted the child standing beside him, who had his arms wrapped around the priest’s leg.
Reni gazed up at Luca with clear, bright eyes. The little one seemed far more interested in the tiny baby than in the adults watching him.
Maybe he was recognizing Luca.
“…Hello.”
The four-year-old child blinked his large eyes and looked up at me.
I knelt down slowly in front of him and spoke softly.
“You’re Reni, right? I’m Jun.”
He didn’t reply, but he gave a shy little smile and hid behind the priest.
He peeked out again, glancing once at my face and once at Luca.
The child… was so beautiful.
While Luca was a spirited, sun-like boy, Reni felt like a lovely, feathery little one. Per Sister, he looked exceptionally intelligent too.
I smiled gently and introduced Luca to him.
“This baby’s name is Luca. He’s your… your younger brother, Reni.”
At four years old, he could already communicate. I expected surprise or curiosity on his face.
But Reni simply smiled softly and said in a small voice, “I know.”
His voice was like the song of a little bird. But…
“…Know? How?”
“Long ago… Papa, Mama, and Luca… they greeted me.”
His tone carried no sadness, but something clogged my throat.
“Ah… I see?”
After forcing out a smile, Reni continued explaining with bright eyes, hands waving excitedly.
“Yes. When Luca was still in Mama’s tummy… *Rukaa!* We practiced it.”
As if remembering the moment, he looked at Luca and stuck his tongue out.
With both small hands he covered his face briefly, then peeked through one eye at Luca, and finally burst into giggles, flinging both arms wide.
“Rukaa!”
* * *
Luca, the priest, and Sister were all gathered in one room.
After a moment of staring at the two adults, Luca soon stopped caring and busied himself with toys in the stroller.
From the wide grassy area outside the building, I could hear Reni’s clear, happy laughter as he played ball with Greg. Greg’s voice, sounding a bit aggrieved, also drifted over.
The priest set down a steaming hot cup of coffee and said, “You’ve given us a friend with a pure soul.”
“Yes, Father. But it’s summer—don’t we have anything cool?”
“Hot drinks are good for the health, they say.”
“You two drink iced coffee.”
“There wasn’t enough ice.”
“…Oh no, if Elioise hadn’t brought that bag, we’d have switched the office fridge to one with a dispenser…”
Sister cut him off.
“Stop talking nonsense and get to the point. The kids are busy too.”
“No, I’m scared I’ll say the wrong thing. Fine, then what are you planning to do, Jun?”
“I…”
I had already decided to proceed with Luca’s adoption paperwork once things improved.
Reni hadn’t been part of the original plan, but since Luca had already been accepted, the change wouldn’t be huge.
Now Reni might need to be placed as well.
“If Alicia’s condition worsens further, placing the child early might actually be kinder to him.”
Of course, that assumed someone would come forward to adopt.
“But even if no one wants to adopt, removing the child from his mother might be better for his emotional well-being.”
Watching a mother slowly falling apart beside him couldn’t be good for a child. That was why they only showed him his mother when she was stable or asleep.
“…Does Reni understand that his father has passed away?”
“He knows Daddy is in heaven.”
“It’s probably too young to understand the full meaning, though.”
“Probably. Still, he was very anxious and cried a lot back then. My mother cried every single day, and the father I saw every day… just vanished one day.”
But children forget like a blessing. The nuns and priest must have helped with their endless efforts.
“Even now, he sometimes wakes up crying for his parents, but the frequency keeps decreasing.”
“So the best solution is for me to take Luca, and Reni to be adopted by another family.”
“That’s right.”
Unfortunately, Alicia would have to give both her children away.
“…If Reni is adopted and leaves here, his adoptive parents are unlikely to ever return.”
And if I, too, never bring Luca back… I could go back to the day before Sister called, shove everything I saw today into a corner, and keep living as before…
While I was thinking about these things, the priest spoke cheerfully.
“It’s simple, really. There’s no reason why your new parents for you and Reni couldn’t be like that.”
“…No, Father, just a moment.”
“Jun-ah, after living so long, I’ve come to realize that living exactly as you want is a wonderful thing. Do as you please.”
…If it were that easy, my heart wouldn’t be so unsettled, old man.
Whether I wanted to know or not, once I learned the truth, I could never go back.
And I wasn’t thinking about Alicia.
There had to be people somewhere in the world who gave me life, yet I knew nothing about them. That was… incredibly frustrating.
It was better not to know, but that was something I thought after already learning. Better to know and be indifferent, or know and hate them.
Or, after walking through all those negative feelings and accepting that Luca, even if he couldn’t fully love his biological parents, could at least respect them…
The child would become a stronger, gentler adult. He would know that his parents had done everything they could to protect him.
Even if each of us walked our separate paths, the child wouldn’t have to live surrounded by endless loneliness.
Knowing where he came from would be like standing on a vast sea as a tiny ship without sails.
And there was Reni. The two boys could become good friends. They might not always be together…
“…And what if, by some miracle, I disappear like Kyle and leave Luca first? Alicia wouldn’t mind, but Reni would have someone strong to lean on in Luca.”
At least, it was unacceptable that I would deprive Reni of that opportunity out of my own discomfort.
As I stayed quietly silent, the priest chuckled and said, “You really are unchanged. Still choosing the harder road.”
“…Did I say that? When?”
“Well, no one told you to, yet you studied hard, cleaned thoroughly, never missed Sunday Mass, cared for the other kids, and even got into trouble with your face. But you never got in real trouble.”
“…I see.”
I narrowed my eyes at the priest. Sister gulped her coffee like water while giving me the “that human” look.
“Why are you all reacting this way?”
“If you hadn’t grown up until your hair turned completely white, this lifetime would be a waste…”
I smiled faintly. Whether they were old colleagues or family, they were truly wonderful to look at.
I was about to say I’d just go home and think everything over, but the priest clapped his hands dryly.
“So, what if I offered to take on more responsibilities? If you want to walk the hard road, let me help raise Reni too.”
…The priest really said it so easily.
Sister let out a long sigh. She seemed to glance vaguely toward her room, as if thinking about the shotgun hidden somewhere there.
I imagined an unimaginable disaster and answered.
“Honestly, I’ve thought about it, but with just one baby, it’s already more than I can handle, Father.”
Of course, there was the literal exhaustion, but the reason I hesitated about taking Reni along was a bit more complicated.
It was fine for a child like Luca who knew nothing. He would naturally accept me as his father.
But Reni remembered his parents. He remembered waiting for Luca to be born with them. Even now, he seemed to sense something, and once he fully understood, he would know that his perfect family had shattered into pieces.
Could I truly comfort that sadness?
On top of that, Luca would feel burdened by a suddenly added roommate, and so would I.
No matter how pretty the child was, no matter how much I loved him like my own… adding another child with a developed sense of self into the house was not easy.
“Well, that makes sense. My words were a bit different, though.”
“What is it?”
“Let’s think simply. First, how about you becoming the guardian of the children?”
* * *