A Dad's Life Isn't Easy
"...Mmm."
What time was it?
I remembered drifting off like a blown fuse, waking briefly to the alarm set for Luca's feeding, then falling back asleep with him again.
"......"
The dim light of approaching dawn spilled across the unfamiliar living room. After checking that the baby was sleeping soundly, I lay still on the floor, tangled up in the blankets. My body felt pleasantly heavy and loose.
I rolled once toward the terrace and took in the pale dawn sky beyond the wide window. It was the same sky as yesterday, yet somehow it looked especially beautiful.
Thoughts drifted up as if I were still dreaming, and my eyes kept sliding shut. I considered sleeping a little longer, but I stretched out long and got up, stepping out onto the terrace to clear my head.
A mid-February dawn was pleasantly cold. The sharp, clean air always settled my heart, and I liked that. A light breeze made me shiver, though the trailing edge of the dawn wind already carried the warmth of the rising sun.
"......"
Arms folded, I took in the morning view of the neighborhood, and...
The corner of my mouth twitched.
Not a scrap of trash on the streets! Perfect landscaping! Not the endless rows of identical boxy apartments, but beautiful villas and houses blended together!
Just the right distance from Downtown — quiet, yet easy for commuting...
And nearby, a school for the kid! No, a kindergarten — wait, a daycare first...!
"Ugh, cold."
I stood there snickering to myself until the chill won, and I dove back under the covers.
Even when I gently pressed Luca's soft cheek, the baby didn't wake, breathing in even little snuffles, lost to the world. It would soon be time for another bottle. I turned off the alarm so it wouldn't startle him. In a little while I would stroke him softly and call his name, and he would wake with a bright smile.
"......"
I took in the still-unpacked kitchen and the rooms where I had simply stuffed things away and shut the doors.
...There was a lot to do today, so I would need a solid breakfast later. It would be nice if the lumber arrived before the mattress...
The fluffy blanket felt wonderful. When I set my index finger against the baby's small hand, he closed around it tight. Warm. I would wake him in just a little while.
"Ba... ah...!"
"...Hm? ...Yeah, baby, that's right..."
I had only meant to lie down for a moment, but I dozed off completely. Answering the baby half-asleep, I jolted awake with a start — then met Luca's sparkling eyes and smiled.
"...Huh?"
But baby, why are you...
"Eeeh...!"
Half his face buried in the blanket, the baby wriggled and laughed with pure delight.
Why are you on your tummy?
After a beat to take it in, I sat bolt upright. The baby had rolled over. While I slept, he had rolled over all by himself. How had I missed that?
I gave him a bottle and frantically searched online. Babies could roll as early as three to four months. According to the birth registration, Luca had just turned three months, so the timing fit — though it still felt a little early.
"......"
A baby who had only ever lain still had just rolled over, and it felt as if my whole world had flipped with him. The articles said this was when you really couldn't take your eyes off a baby. They could roll onto their front but not back again, which meant a risk of suffocation. And once rolling started, you had to change the bed. In a small space a baby could hit the guard, climb onto it, and fall.
Still, this had been roughly in my calculations. Once the child got bigger we would share a bed for a while, so I had ordered a firm mattress this time and designed the frame low to the ground. I had even planned a side guard so he wouldn't tumble off while rolling.
"But still..."
I had known it was coming. I just hadn't expected to need it this soon.
Even so, I was so proud of him. I scooped him up and smiled into his eyes. Luca grinned and let out a lusty shout.
"Ppa...!"
"Whoa there."
Was it my imagination, or had his voice gotten louder? Come to think of it, he seemed a fair bit heavier now, too.
"......"
I knew that someday he would take his first steps here, start talking, and eventually leave the house for kindergarten. Even knowing all that, wasn't he growing far too fast?
Our second day in the new place. It was a proud and tender morning in a home that was already starting to feel familiar.
...And that tender feeling vanished almost at once.
The moment the baby started rolling, a whole new circle of parenting hell began. Once Luca got a taste of rolling over, it was as if the purpose of his life had become flipping himself — over and over again.
"Eeeh...!"
I turned him back; he flipped again. I turned him back; he flipped again. After a bottle and a burp, I would lay him down only for him to twist over and spew the milk he had just finished.
"Bweh..."
"Aigoo, Luca...!"
Don't throw up and then smile at me!
After one more round of chaos, I strapped him into the baby carrier, settled him to sleep, and searched the internet for how on earth to handle this. There I found a grateful tip from a parent who had been through the same thing, and I bought a "Bumbo seat" — the kind that helps babies sit — with my points.
It wasn't as if Artisan's Mastery would apply to Luca, and even if it did, what mastery did sitting require? But buying with points meant the product arrived fast...!
That afternoon, the baby sat stock-still in the seat as if someone had hit pause, fascinated by the brand-new sensation of sitting upright. He was so cute I took a picture.
"Aboo... boo..."
"Aww, look at our baby talking so well."
With rolling under his belt, I considered starting an infinite loop of the word "Dad," but the internet — my best parenting aide — said it was still too early, so I put that plan on hold.
"Boo...!"
"Yeah, is our Luca getting sleepy?"
His blinking eyes and nodding head made the answer clear. I lifted him from the seat and patted his back until he slept. Out of habit I almost laid him in the baby bed, then set him instead on the blanket spread on the floor. The mattress really needed to get here soon.
"Aigoo."
I stretched out beside him and stared at the ceiling.
Thanks to the donation the nun had passed along, I didn't have to rush back to work right away. About three and a half weeks of leave remained. Even after I returned, the rent for the next few months wouldn't be crushing, so I had far more breathing room than before.
That didn't mean I could waste the time. My salary alone would never cover life here, and the costs of raising a growing child would be no small thing either.
I thought of the kids from the orphanage. Their dreams had been so colorful. One boy who first wanted to grow up to be a dinosaur moved on to robots and finally decided he wanted to be an astronaut. If Luca ever said he wanted something like that, the price tag — from what little I knew — would not be cheap.
Or maybe, watching him flip tirelessly the second he learned how, he had a gift for sports. Athletes cost a fortune too.
"......"
The orphanage children had never gone hungry, but they had always been hungry for more. Luca would soon move past baby food into a wider world of tastes, and as he grew there would be plenty he wanted to eat. I would never let our Luca sit there sucking his fingers while something he wanted stayed out of reach.
There would be toys he wanted, books he wanted to read, clothes he wanted to wear. And when he started running with friends, if I wanted to press a generous allowance into his hand...
What if he got sick?
I sat up straight.
Until now I had been too overwhelmed by first-time parenting and setting up a household to think straight — and I was still overwhelmed — but it was time to seriously figure out how to make more money.
The trouble was that I had lived alone for so long in the vague, lazy belief that "things will work out somehow." Suddenly trying to draw up a fierce long-term life plan left me tangled in worries.
Looking for a high-paying new job was out; I didn't have the skills or education for it. That left two options: keep my current job and find evening or weekend side work, or use the Artisan's Mastery the Manito App had given me for a side business.
So far the buff had let me touch woodworking for furniture, sewing for clothes and fabric household goods, and baking and cooking. In the end it meant making things to sell...
Easy to say. Would knocking out products in spare hours actually produce meaningful money? Even full-time makers had to work all day.
And even if I found the time and made something, there was no clear place to sell it. I didn't have the cash to open a shop, so it would have to be online. Selling food meant complicated procedures, from what I knew. Even without that, building an online store would take real care and time.
Quitting the company to go full-time right away wasn't something I could take lightly either. Business was never that simple.
"Mmm..."
"Eeeh..."
When I hummed out loud, Luca answered in his sleep. It was so cute I poked his cheek; he scrunched up his face. I patted his belly gently until he settled again, and went on thinking.
Did wanting more grow with how much you already had? Not long ago, with Artisan's Mastery behind me, I had felt I could do anything. Now one shortcoming stood out.
The skill made technique perfect — but it didn't cover the realm of art and creation. I could reproduce anything exactly as I had seen it, yet the moment I tried to alter it even a little into something of my own, it fell apart. Everything I could make was a perfect copy.
Furniture, clothes, even bedding — flawless recreations of the high-end brands I admired. The three meals a day were perfect reproductions of whichever top-tier recipe I chose that day. In a way, perfect food, clothing, and shelter. A life that would have cost a fortune if I had paid for it.
Ah, that alone was already incredible...
But even if I used the replicas myself, I couldn't sell them for profit. And...
Of course, if I focused on honing one skill for the rest of the app's duration, I was sure I could push past the current limit and reach solid ability. I had never been completely unhandy, and raising proficiency on top of the feel and practice my body had already absorbed was only natural.
Bake day and night and I could open a bakery; cook and maybe, as Greg said, open a restaurant. But even if the business worked, I wasn't sure I wanted to do that one thing for the rest of my life.
Thinking about self-realization at this point felt almost ridiculous... Still, with the app's help, wouldn't it be better to first find something I might actually enjoy?
Even if I reached a respectable level, it would still fall short of true Artisan's Mastery. In that case, I at least needed to like the work if I wanted to do it with any joy.
"Mm..."
No need to rush. Focus on gathering what we needed and think it through carefully. For now, just do today's work well. With that thought I started to get up —
"Ungh..."
Luca opened his eyes wide.
"Oh, why'd our Luca wake up?"
I patted his belly to settle him again. He blinked, looked at me once, and smiled. Then, as if to show off, he flipped himself over with a flourish.
"......"