A Walk

As the window for college applications drew near, Cheongram Gallery filled with a roughly even mix of admissions talk and nonsense posts. On the DiscoChat server, the same familiar people came and went.

Lately, though, there was a strange lack of anything ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠to do. Strictly speaking, there was plenty. Marblecraft and Apex were both right there, along with a heap of games I'd started on my own and then abandoned. Watching Nutube or scrolling Cheongram Gallery counted as something, if you were generous about it. But the moment I tried to choose, there was nothing I actually wanted.

Lying in bed, I opened DiscoChat on my phone.

"Limit's in a game. Star's online, and..."

Nammisae was set to away, and Mumyeong was playing Marblecraft. I stared at the screen for a moment, then closed the app. Not even a few seconds later, I opened it again.

"..."

Why did I open it again?

There wasn't any particular reason. A message from jolly happened to be waiting.

Does he ever get tired of this...

I stared at my phone a moment longer, then switched over to Cheongram Gallery.

Hang out with your friends.

Reading the comment, I almost wondered if I really should. I opened DiscoChat again and went into my DMs with Limit. I typed out What are you up to? and my finger stopped in front of the send button. I didn't know why, but I suddenly didn't feel like asking. I deleted everything I'd written.

My last conversation with ☆ had been a few hours earlier.

A truly substance-free conversation.

"Maybe I'll just play Marblecraft..."

I sat down at the computer and launched it. I even clicked multiplayer, but when it came down to it, I didn't want to join the server, so I quit right there. This time I opened Apex, stared blankly at the lobby for a while, and closed that too.

"There's really nothing to do."

On a normal day like this, I probably would've slipped into a DiscoChat voice channel alone and done something else until someone showed up. Lately, though, sitting in a voice room by myself felt a little strange—like I'd look like someone waiting for another person to come in. Even I didn't know who I'd be waiting for.

I let the time slip by with nothing to show for it, and before I knew it, it was past three in the morning.

"Maybe I should just go outside."

I wasn't hungry, and there was nothing I needed to buy, but staying shut up in my room was starting to feel a little stifling. I pulled on a gray hoodie and black pants, then pinned my hair up roughly with a white claw clip. When I opened the front door, cold air met my face.

"It's freezing..."

I briefly considered going back in, but I'd already put my shoes on, so I decided to just go. I left the apartment complex behind.

Unlike during the day, the early-morning streets were nearly empty. A convenience store sign glowed bright in the distance. Now and then a single car passed on the road. That was all.

"More comfortable than daytime. Because ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠there's nobody around?"

I didn't even feel like anyone was looking at me. No need to be pointlessly self-conscious about my conspicuous hair. Hands tucked in my hoodie pocket, I walked slowly, with no set destination—just following the main road, then turning into whichever alley I felt like.

Step. Step.

I passed a café I'd never seen before and a hair salon with its lights off, then paused for a moment in front of a coin karaoke place that was still lit.

Should I go in? I'd never been to karaoke alone. ...At this hour, there probably wouldn't be many people. I hesitated briefly, then walked on. I could always come back next time.

When I turned one more corner, something moved up ahead. A ball of gray fur. I stopped and looked under a parked car, and after a short wait a cat darted out from underneath. Its body was a dark gray, with only the fur around its chin a little white.

Mrrrow—

The cat looked at me. I looked at the cat.

"Meow...?"

The cat didn't answer. Obviously. When I took one step closer, it took one step back. I watched it for a moment, then crouched a short distance away.

"I'm cold even with clothes on. You must be freezing."

No answer this time either. For a while I did nothing but watch the cat. In my room I'd had so little to do that I kept fiddling with my phone, but out here, just looking at one cat was enough to keep me from getting bored. When it started licking a front paw, I took out my phone and snapped a photo.

Click.

"..."

The cat looked at me again.

"Sorry."

I sneaked a look at the photo. It had come out better than I'd expected. The streetlight behind the gray cat blurred into a soft glow, and something about it felt dreamlike. Without much thought, I sent the picture to ☆.

I turned the screen off for a moment and looked at the cat. Soon it buzzed again.

By now the cat had sat right down and was watching me. At this point, who was watching whom?

I thought for a second.

"Hmm... fur? Hair counts as fur too."

I put the phone in my pocket. When I looked up, the cat had already slipped back under the car. I felt a little disappointed. I was about to head home when I noticed a convenience store nearby and went inside. I was ready to pay for some chocolate when I spotted cat treats by the register.

"Oh."

I grabbed a pack and paid for it along with the chocolate. Back outside, I returned to the alley where the cat had been, but it had vanished.

"...It left."

I looked around the alley. No cat. The treats in my pocket had suddenly become a useless object. Did I buy them for nothing? It's not like I can eat them. Fiddling with the wrapper, I started walking again.

A little farther on, a small park appeared. It was usually fairly crowded during the day, but now it was completely empty—the bench people often sat on, the streetlight shining down over it, and beneath that light, a familiar patch of gray fur.

"...Huh?"

It was the same cat from before. A gray cat, white only at the chin. When I approached slowly, it didn't back away this time. So it recognized me as a familiar face after all.

"I'm touched."

I tore open the treats and set some down a short distance away. The cat came over slowly, sniffed, then lowered its head and started to eat.

"You're actually eating them..."

I sat on the bench and watched. The park was quiet. All I could hear was a car passing somewhere far off, and the plastic wrapper brushing in the wind.

Bzzzt.

My phone gave a short buzz. I pulled it from my pocket. This time it was Limit.

The cat was still eating.

That was the end of it. Very Limit.

The cat finished every last treat and looked up at me.

"There's no more. Sorry."

Mraow.

It cried once, short, as if it understood, stood there looking at me for a moment, then walked off toward the grass. I kept watching until the cat was completely out of sight.

"...It's gone."

I got up from the bench. On the way home, the cold didn't feel as sharp as before. The temperature couldn't actually have risen. So what was the reason?

This is all the cat's blessing.

I walked along lost in idle thoughts, and checked my phone around the time the apartment entrance came into view. Another message from ☆ had come in a little earlier.

I stared at the screen for a moment, then replied.

...Now that I've sent it, it looks a little self-absorbed.

But the reply came right away.

"..."

For no good reason, my mood turned restless and strange. I opened the front door and stepped inside. The room was exactly the same as when I'd left. Earlier it had felt so stifling, but now nothing in particular came to mind.

When I checked DiscoChat, Limit and ☆ were both in a voice channel. I looked at the two nicknames for a moment, then this time joined without hesitating.

"Sayu, did you make it home?"

The fact that I'd been walking the night streets alone just moments ago felt like a lie as the familiar loading screen came up. While the game launched, I checked the cat photo on my phone one more time. A gray cat sitting beneath a streetlight. It really hadn't come out badly. If I met it again, I'd have to take more photos.