Chapter 38
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 38
Chapter Title: The Tiny Elephant and Sudden Tails
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That’s one hell of a vulgar nickname...
‘Gone?’
My hand had definitely grasped at thin air.
Which meant Chayuri was currently in a state where a man’s equipment was nowhere to be found.
This fucking... No way, was the guy telling the truth?
No, gotta run now!
“Ian? What are you doing?”
“You, you bastard...! Why’s it gone? Didn’t you say you weren’t a woman?!”
“Ah, th-that’s...!”
“You were already a woman! You terrifying freak!”
I bolted into a run.
And Chayuri immediately gave chase.
“Why the hell are you running away, Ian?!”
“Don’t follow me! I like women, sure... but originally women, not ones who used to be men!”
“No, that’s...”
Huff huff, doesn’t that guy ever get tired?
I was debating whether to call for help when...
“I-it’s because mine’s so small!”
Chayuri suddenly dropped a bombshell confession.
Hearing that, I gradually slowed to a stop.
“...What?”
“W-well, you see. Mine’s ridiculously small.”
“...That’s what it was?”
“And I heard drinking chainchangling spinal fluid makes your hair grow longer too.”
Oh, right. My hair had grown longer too.
But Chayuri’s was still that ambiguous bob-cut length that could pass for a guy’s.
Damn, looks like I’d hurt his feelings.
“...Sorry, I jumped to conclusions. I poked at a sore wound. My bad.”
“N-no. It’s fine.”
“Uh... let’s go grab some spicy pork.”
No way I expected it to be so small it slipped right through my fingers.
Feeling unnecessarily guilty, I headed to the restaurant with him.
Title: Spilling the tale of groping the Top Student's package
Author: Kim Muggle
That was fucking close just now
Ran into the Top Student for some spicy pork and damn, he looked extra pretty today
So I thought maybe he'd already chugged the spinal fluid and turned into a girl?
He denied it but I didn't buy it so I went to check myself
You know how guys mess around grabbing each other's elephants as kids
So I playfully went whoosh! and grabbed... but it was empty air
Fucked up, gonna get eaten today, so I bolted sprinting
Then the Top Student chases yelling?
His is actually tiny AF
Come to think of it, spinal fluid changes your hair and body but his stayed the same
Anyway we went for pork but now it's super awkward so I'm rambling here on the gal
Think I touched a nerve with the Top Student, what do?
LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
LMFAO that shit's hilarious
You psycho LMFAO
Who grabs an elephant as a joke you freak LMFAO
IM CUMMINGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!
LMFAO so funny I don't even know where to start
Just let him keep misunderstanding, peak comedy
Let's see how brainbroken he gets LMFAO
Top Student is legend too LMFAO why go that far
At this point curious about Top Student's load too lol
Top Student's load? CUMMINGIMGOINGCRAZY!!!!
BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
Chayuri’s recommended spicy pork joint.
Not too crowded, like a hidden gem, but the aroma filling the place was mouthwatering.
Amid the lively restaurant vibe, our table was dead silent.
Because of what just happened, Chayuri and I just sipped our water in awkward quiet.
This tension was killing me, so I was quietly scrolling the gallery.
If I didn’t gal, I couldn’t handle the mood.
Maybe ask the gal how to break the ice.
Fuck no it's super awkward rn any icebreakers?
Just drop trou lol
Just bang already ffs
You crazy bastards;
As expected, the gallery was just spewing nonsense.
These Archmage fucks act like sages spilling wisdom all the time, so why clam up when it matters?
Feels like they’re trolling me on purpose.
Then, a nickname I’d never seen chimed in.
Gallery’s got a real entertainer now. Shame I missed this juicy bait for so long. Man, you’re clueless.
Oh this guy's back
Bet he came back after hitting on girls again
Fuck virgin ghost showed up, been quiet then gtfo
This guy's straight up inferior lol
Never banged so makes sense lol
Bat advice fixes all girl problems lol
Nickname says it all lol
What the. 29cmBaseballBat? Super vulgar nickname.
Gallery calling it out too, guy screams slutty sex life.
Seems like he gets women, but does he get a guy who wants to be one?
Hurt the dude by saying his elephant’s too small, now do I comfort him like a girl or a guy? Tricky as fuck.
Situation’s clear enough. Can’t ruin the meal, so say exactly what I tell you.
Oh? Starting to give advice.
I didn’t wanna eat spicy pork in this vibe either.
Worried he’d jump me if I comforted wrong, but gotta fix what happened first.
‘Sorry about earlier, Top Student. My hands are bad with boundaries. Bet you’re disappointed.’
“Ch-Chayuri. Sorry about earlier. My hands lack manners. Disappointed, right?”
“Ah, no. It’s okay.”
‘I really wanna make it up to you properly.’
“I really wanna make it up properly.”
‘After spicy pork...’
“After spicy pork...”
‘This time I’ll finish you off right with my hands, wanna come to my room? Ever climaxed with a handjob?’
“This time I’ll finish you off right with my han- *cough*”
What the fuck is this psycho saying?
Going fine then suddenly wha-what climax?
Hey you crazy horny fuck!!
LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
LMFAO
Send him off quick!
Say it like this and it’s fixed. Watch his reaction and I’ll tell you how to drag him back, no worries. Oh, hand skills an issue? I’ll teach ya, start slow rolling the bean like...
Don’t describe that shit you horny psycho!!! He’s a dude!!
But do what I say and it’s solved...
This fucker spewing vulgar shit in fancy talk. Shoulda known from the nick.
And I said no dudes but he’s hellbent on turning me gay?
Was about to report 29cmBaseballBat when Chayuri spoke up.
“Ian, I’m really fine. No big deal, don’t feel bad.”
“R-really?”
“Yeah. Honestly, it was funny. Grabbing to check yourself. Pfft.”
Thank god, Chayuri actually laughed, so it wasn’t fake.
Makes sense, guy wants to be a girl, elephant size ain’t shit.
I relaxed a bit.
“Enjoy your meal~”
Our mood loosened as two plates of spicy pork arrived.
Glistening, sauce-drenched pork that looked delicious.
Side dishes were top-notch too.
“Whoa, this place is legit.”
One bite in and I knew it was a gem.
Worried about food after isekai, but thankfully lots of familiar stuff.
Guess human tastebuds are universal across dimensions.
“Glad you like it. But...”
Chayuri happily shoveled rice and pork a few times.
Then sipped some soup and suddenly started talking weird.
“Don’t react at all to what I say next. Just listen.”
“...Huh?”
“We’ve got tails.”
...What? I froze but remembered no reaction, so casually munched pork pretending chill.
“Dunno motives, but two different ones. One feels pretty malicious.”
“...Sure? Sudden tails on a chill weekend?”
“Mom always has someone ‘watching over’ me... so I’m sensitive to followers.”
“Not your mom’s guy?”
“No. Knew her watcher from academy exit. But someone took out mom’s tail and took his spot tailing me. That’s why I said one’s malicious.”
“...What? But two tails you said.”
“Other one’s motive unknown. Not mom’s either.”
Chayuri’s words turned my brain white.
Pretending normal chat while eating, but couldn’t stop hand shake.
“What do we do?”
“Finish meal naturally first. Then...”
“Then?”
“Think we should take main road straight back to academy. Otherwise...”
Didn’t need the rest.
One tail’s malicious.
They can’t attack inside academy, so high chance ambush before.
Kidnap or kill, who knows.
“But this joint’s deep in alleys, right?”
“Yeah. Hidden gem so...”
Problem: it’s a hidden gem.
Few pass these alleys except pork fans.
Lunch rush ending, even quieter.
“...Play it cool, eat slow. Cramping mid-run sucks.”
“Got it.”
Couldn’t taste pork going in nose or mouth, checked gallery.
Chase might pop after eating.
Confident gal-running.
But combat gal? Tough.
Ask ahead.
Title: Got tails what now? (serious)
Author: Kim Muggle
Top Student says two tails
Always has mom's watcher but someone took him out and new tail appeared legit
Plus another unknown tail
Was arguing elephant size eating pork now wtf real deal
Main road to academy should be fine?
Issue: pork joint’s hidden deep in alleys
Exit path’s the problem
Help
Serious sitch but hidden gem real?
No hidden gem and you’d live lol
Urban chase is Lulu-chan specialty~
Yeah 5th grade beast too, Top Student targeted by shady fucks. Run best bet. Think taboo mage again
DomHwangCha~
Taboo guys actually after Kim Muggle?
Yeah Kim Muggle got secret origin?
Could be chancellor’s guy too, run first
Run first, post if shit hits
Gal consensus: run best.
Can’t win taboo mage with my skills, too much to lose.
MagicIsNotHard taught should make escape doable.
“Chayuri. I think bolt right out the door. Can you teach that speed-up spell?”
“Sure.”
Chayuri tore a napkin, taught a rank 2 spell.
New one, physical boost mages skip.
We paid, stood at door.
One step out, we run.
‘Ready?’
‘Ready.’
Eye signal, computed spells.
Done together...
Bang-
We blasted out running.
“They’re chasing!”
“Can we shake ’em?”
“Dunno!”
Shit. They clocked us, pursuing fast.
No distance, anything possible.
Combat likely. About to gal-ask,
“Dodge!”
Chayuri yelled, rock wall erupted from ground.
Twisted through gap barely.
But beyond the wall, an unimaginable figure blocked our path.