Chapter 129

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Translator: MadScientist

Chapter: 129

Chapter Title: My Team Members Are Acting Strange

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I lifted the dresses of the three Lee Soo-ahs in order.

All three of them let out screams.

"Kyaa, kyaak?!"

"Uwoook!"

"What?!"

The three Lee Soo-ahs screamed.

For some reason, two of them let out sounds that weren't feminine at all.

Meanwhile, the first one definitely had a woman's voice.

But,

'None of them have it?'

All three had no mole on their butts.

Perfectly smooth, voluptuous butts.

But no mole.

My mind blanked out for a moment.

But time had already passed the final second.

I couldn't believe they'd pull something like this, but I had no choice.

"There's no Archmage Duchess among these!"

My shout stopped the countdown cold.

A brief silence followed before the examiner's voice rang out.

"...Participant 288. You pass the first exam. Proceed to the waiting room for passers."

I had passed.

There was no real Lee Soo-ah among them.

I hadn't expected a prank like this from the start.

Thinking about it, it didn't make sense for the Archmage Duchess herself to stand there just for a first-round exam question.

I crossed through the passageway.

The other passers who had already made it were chatting among themselves.

"The angle of her head tilt was all wrong—pure Archmage Duchess style. I knew right away."

"For the Archmage Duchess, all their butts lacked that perfect volume."

"The examiners were in disguise, but perfectly capturing Her Excellency's beauty is impossible, after all."

"I was certain from the start. There's no way the Archmage Duchess would show up for a mere first exam."

Some had passed based on clues that made me wonder how they even knew that stuff.

Others relied on logical reasoning about the situation.

A wide variety.

I'd passed by checking butts, so if anything, I fell into the first category.

"Tests like this? I could pass a hundred of them."

"Heh heh heh... The Archmage Duchess's back view is truly..."

"Ahh, if only I could lay eyes on Her Excellency just once...!"

The passers spent their wait time entirely praising Lee Soo-ah.

This level of devotion bordered on fan club territory.

I was starting to get a feel for what these exams were like...

This was basically fan club recruitment.

As the gallery folks said, tests like these were impossible to predict.

I could've handled a straight-up magic battle exam with confidence.

Instead, this only ramped up the tension.

Then the ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠last passer arrived, ending the first exam.

There looked to be just under 100 who passed.

Moments later, the proctor appeared.

"Passers of the first exam. I won't congratulate you. We can't appoint someone who can't even recognize the Archmage Duchess as a retainer. I hope none of ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠you are pathetic enough to feel proud over this."

The excited passers' faces stiffened.

I had no idea why guys who'd passed judging butt sizes looked so serious.

Since I'd passed via a butt mole, I just kept quiet.

"Today's remaining first-day exam and tomorrow's second-day exam will be in groups. The first-day one is info-based like before, second-day is practical. Third day is individual again. Now for group assignments."

Groups were four per team, totaling 21 teams.

That meant 84 survivors, and who knew how many would make it to day three.

"Lunch, then three hours later, the rest of day one's exam. Use the time to strategize with your group."

Strategy? What strategy?

I grabbed lunch boxes from the examiners and went looking for my teammates.

"22, 1, 101... There they are."

Up front in the waiting area, numbers 22 and 1 were talking.

22 was a short female mage in a big hood, and 1 reminded me of SubsidyRiceEater—skinny guy.

"Hello."

"H-hello..."

"You're 2 and 288?"

The woman, 22, greeted in a timid, unconfident voice. The man, 1, spoke quickly.

"Yes. I'm Ian."

"T-Taevor."

"Chinya..."

Taevor and Chinya.

After introductions, silence settled in.

"Sh-should we talk over food? Oh, but 101..."

"101's in the bathroom."

"Ah, let's sit first then."

"Y-yes..."

We settled in a corner of the waiting area and unpacked our lunches.

The two ate quietly without a word.

We should probably discuss the exam.

No helping it—I broke the silence with small talk.

"By the way, Taevor, you're number 1."

"Ah, y-yes. I was so excited I camped in front of the Archmage Manor last week. Selection chance comes once in a lifetime, so I couldn't risk failing after seven straight years studying nothing but Her Excellency and finally..."

"...?"

Taevor suddenly spat rice while unleashing a torrent of words.

Too fast to follow, but he'd prepped long for this.

"Hoo... Hoo..."

Finished, Taevor panted heavily.

I clapped, saying,

"That's... impressive..."

"So how'd you end up in the selection, Chinya?"

"Isn't it obvious? With the Archmage Duchess's beauty and grace, taking this exam is a given? If I could, I'd dream of being Her Excellency's foot mat—"

Hmm. This one wasn't normal either.

I thought she was quiet, but Lee Soo-ah talk had her snorting and spilling desires.

Taevor going first must've loosened her up.

Foot mat? What?

Chinya spoke without pauses, hard to parse, but snippets like "Archmage Duchess's foot mat," "Archmage Duchess's panties sniff sniff" meant she wasn't normal either.

"Ah, you're 288? I'm Ilno, 101."

"Ah, yes. Ian."

Then the last one, 101, finally showed up.

He seemed normal. Neat, tall impression.

His eyes were narrow—intentional or natural?—always half-closed.

"By the way, I legally changed my name to 'Slave of the Ilmost Archmage Duchess.' Dreaming of being the chairman's stocking-washing retainer! Haha!"

...Nope, not normal either.

ExtremeEfficiencyFanatic had a point.

From the first exam, magic skill mattered less than Lee Soo-ah knowledge.

Teaming with these three might be my luck.

They just loved Lee Soo-ah—no malice.

I got it; passions spill out uncontrollably sometimes.

Looking again, their pure adoration shone brightly.

"S-so, Ian?"

"Yes?"

"Wh-why'd you join the selection?"

Chinya tossed the question to me.

The three watched expectantly.

"Ah... I..."

I'd joined because of Lee Soo-ah's conditions.

Couldn't say that.

I scraped together an excuse.

"Ah, well... Academy's on break, so... somehow..."

"...H-huh?"

"Wh-what? A st-student?"

"Graduate?"

"N-no. First-year..."

I mumbled awkwardly.

Then the three began wailing.

"Nooooooo—!"

"Can't be my first and last shot at being Her Excellency's foot mat no no no"

"Duchess's stockings sniff sniff future gone aaaagh!!"

"U-um..."

Clutching heads, muttering in despair.

I felt my sanity slipping.

"Th-then you know about the Archmage Duchess, right?"

"R-right, magic skill isn't everything till round 2..."

"But passing round 1 means loyalty to Her Excellency..."

"Uh... I know way less than you three. Round 1 was luck."

"Kyaaaaah!"

"Uwooooo!"

"Nooooo!!"

They burst into sobs.

I scratched my head awkwardly.

Thinking again, I was the villain here.

They brimmed with Lee Soo-ah loyalty and knowledge; I knew zilch.

"W-we can't drop out like this."

Chinya, after clawing her hair, stood with newfound resolve—timidness gone.

"R-right. Lifetime chance—we can't fail. I'll kill myself if we do!"

"Can't miss chairman's stockings."

Taevor and Ilno matched her fire.

"M-memorize."

"Huh?"

"Everything in break time! Max it!"

And so, the rest of break, they drilled me—from Lee Soo-ah's preferred nail length up.

***

"1, 22, 101, 288. Pass."

Last exam of day one.

Our group cleared the 'Prepare Tea Time for the Ilmost Archmage Duchess' test unscathed.

Fruits of break-time crash course.

I'd kept thought acceleration magic running nonstop, memorizing every scrap they shared.

From morning to end, clock time was 10 hours total.

With acceleration, felt like 100.

"G-good thing Ian memorized well..."

"R-right. Just like this tomorrow."

"Good work!"

"And all-nighter training tonight..."

Passing restored their usual selves.

Stuffing info into me earlier, they'd been terrifying—like different people.

To pass, I'd pull all-nighters for their guidance too.

"B-but exams seem harder than expected..."

"Agreed. We prepped tea at Her Excellency's fave temp, but she got mad there..."

"Th-the Archmage Duchess doesn't get mad though..."

Heading to dorms, they murmured.

Yeah, even I felt the difficulty spiking.

Especially that last tea time prep.

Perfect temp per Chinya's intel.

But the Ilmost Archmage Duchess (stand-in retainer acting) raged it was too hot.

Taevor knew her "hot drink response protocol," saving us.

How he knew that stuff? No clue.

Thus ended day one.

Pulled all-nighter studying; day two dawned.

Day two exams back-to-back.

Morning minors, afternoon the big finale.

Theme: 'Escort the Archmage Duchess.'

Guide her safe through forest perils.

Did she even need escorting?

But,

"S-something feels off... Other groups' tests weren't this hard..."

"Today's others too—ours feels targeted. If we fail, I got no reason to live..."

"Let me sniff stockings once before failing, please!"

Difficulty was weird.

Group tests sequential, so we'd seen priors.

Ours was brutally harder.

Not just afternoon.

Morning too, yesterday's day one too.

Our group alone faced ramped-up challenge.

"..."

Someone was deliberately sabotaging our group.