Chapter 34
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 34
Chapter Title: Awkward Reunion
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Was she waiting for me?
There's no way she was just passing by the gate on the opposite side of the battlefield by chance.
"You're in early."
"......"
The Hero, whom I hadn't seen since that morning incident two days ago.
She, who had caught me performing a body search on the Saintess and fled, had come back to find me.
Why is she smiling like that... The image of the cradle door—which I'd never closed—flashes through my mind.
Did the Hero close it? My legs go weak.
She smiled as she slowly approached me.
She doesn't seem embarrassed at all, even after what happened last time.
If it were me, I never would've come back.
Unlike before, the Hero was wearing a green standard female soldier uniform.
A rapier in her right hand, and in her other... a bag?
Gripped in her hand was a single leather bag.
From a distance, she could pass for an office worker.
If only she'd ditch that rapier in her hand.
"Aren't you going to greet me?"
The Hero's expression turned icy.
She's got a murderous aura just because I skipped a greeting.
"G-Good morning, Hero."
- She smiles.
The Hero's lips curved into a thin arc again.
Today, her tone was even more venomous.
Is her personality getting worse by the day or what?
"What brings you to the gate so early in the morning...?"
"Why? Can't I come?"
Every word from the Hero feels like she's probing me.
Her sharp, fox-like eyes narrowed.
This means she's extremely displeased right now.
What's got her so upset?
"Hm... Actually, I was waiting for you... I didn't expect you'd come out from inside the gate."
Is she testing me... or does she really not know?
This is the crossroads.
Tell her I was sleeping, locked in an embrace with the Saintess inside the cradle.
Or say I dozed off at my desk from fatigue during duty.
This wasn't much of a choice at all.
Who would believe I spent the night embracing the purity-bound Saintess right here at the gate?
"I fell asleep at the gate from exhaustion."
"Oh... I see?"
The Hero stroked the blade with her gloved hand.
The razor-sharp edge glinted chillingly.
"Ah... Sorry. I was just doing maintenance until now. But, are you hurt?"
The Hero sheathed the rapier at her waist.
Then her gaze locked onto the bandage wrapped around my neck.
"It's not a serious injury. I asked the Saintess to heal me."
"......"
It's the bandage I wrapped after she bit me at lunch yesterday.
If unwound, the Saintess's bite marks would be plain as day.
No need to show the Hero that.
"Well... If the Saintess healed you, she must've done a good job. But..."
The Hero tapped her chin with her index finger.
As if something was bothering her.
And then the Hero strode forward...
- Rip.
And tore my uniform open with one hand.
"Why does your body reek of blood?"
"......"
The moment my clothes ripped, I covered my shoulder with my other hand.
The goal was to hide the mark the Saintess left on my shoulder last night.
But it looked like a shy girl clutching her chest.
"What's a man got to be embarrassed about?"
The Hero grinned as she said it.
What is this... flirting?
Do medieval heroes flirt with guys like this?
Is it even flirting to begin with?
I've groped women before, but I've never ripped their clothes off...
The Hero's hand clutched the ragged edge of my uniform.
My upper body was basically naked, save for the back panel.
"You should eat better."
Since I hadn't been in this body long, it wasn't in great shape.
Just decently muscled.
After eyeing my body, the Hero looked away.
"You asked why I came earlier? Apparently, some official document came down from upper command."
"You're delivering it yourself, Hero?"
Regular soldiers usually handle that stuff.
Why the Hero personally...?
"The soldier was busy, so I offered to deliver it."
"......"
5 AM, just as the sun peeked over the horizon. A lowly soldier asking the Hero to run documents because "busy"...
So believable.
But the Hero didn't flinch a bit, as if she expected me to see through the lie.
Fortunately, the reason she sought me out didn't seem tied to what she caught me doing with the Saintess.
Best to play along for now.
"Oh, and I have a gift."
"A gift?"
The Hero thrust the leather bag toward me.
"This is..."
"A uniform."
Suddenly a uniform? What uniform?
So ripping mine was just an excuse to hand this over?
I took the leather bag from her hand.
"I grabbed one for you while getting mine."
"Th-Thank you."
The Hero pointed to the hem of her outfit.
Unlike last time, she wore the green standard Imperial Army uniform.
Cheap fabric—thin and prone to tearing.
Mostly the same style, but the big difference: she was wearing an H-line skirt.
Didn't the Hero prefer comfy clothes?
Why this easily torn, clingy, thin women's uniform...?
The whole situation felt way too awkward.
Just as that thought crossed my mind.
"Well, I've delivered everything, so I'll head out. I'll drop by later, so keep that in mind."
The Hero spat out her piece, turned on her heel, and walked away from the gate.
Did she really come all this way just for that?
She didn't glance back once before vanishing from sight in a flash.
I just blankly watched the Hero disappear beyond the horizon.
What the hell...
Today's off to a rough start too.
I carefully hid my bare upper body and slipped back inside the gate.
...
In the end, I couldn't even wash up.
I cautiously opened the leather bag.
Inside was the uniform from the Hero and the official document she'd mentioned.
For my bare torso, I pulled out the uniform first.
Rubbing it, it screamed high-end at a glance.
Crisp, smooth texture that rustled luxuriously with every movement.
Gold thread embroidery adorned various spots—not cheap at all.
This pattern looks just like the one the Hero uses... Nah, couldn't be.
She wasn't absent all day yesterday embroidering this herself...
Probably tied to that "side" the terrorist mentioned way back.
Still makes me uneasy—better cover it up later.
Why bring such a pricey uniform as a gift?
While she bought cheap crap for herself.
Suspicious as hell, but right now, this is all I've got.
Can't do inspections bare-chested.
After changing into the full uniform, I pulled out her document and examined it.
I read the first sheet of the two-page stack.
"This is..."
『Barbaric Tribe Luna』
Species: Dog Beastkin
Appearance: Youthful features, estimated real age 20+
Features: White hair, red eyes, numerous body scars, wields massive greatsword matching her size, uses purple mana
[Crimes]
Treason & Rebellion: Organized beastkin rebels, attempted seizure of Imperial Northern Fortress, then fled.
Murder: Brutally slaughtered 10 Imperial regular soldiers during escape.
Wanted poster event.
The event I'd been waiting for.
I flipped to the next page.
[Oral Body Search on All Women]
1. Teeth Body Search
Northern barbarians have severely worn teeth from feral habits. Insert finger directly to meticulously check wear status.
2. Under-Tongue Body Search
Northern barbarians hide 'Red Hallucination Mushrooms' under the tongue.
Mandatory: Grab tongue and inspect underside.
'Red Hallucination Mushroom'—narcotic painkiller. Restrain immediately upon discovery.
Luna: On-site capture & extradition → [2 Rank Promotion]
Other Barbarians: [Situation-based Reward]
In the game, these official notices drop monthly based on wanted fugitives, with conditions added or removed.
If you fail to catch the fugitive in time, the gatekeeper gets penalized.
Penalties vary by game situation, so no one knows when they'll hit.
This notice means at least 30 days' leeway.
Which means oral body searches on top for the next 30 days.
Oral inspections aren't bad conditions.
There were events bloating the docs—this is actually good for me.
The biggest risk with oral body searches? Fingers getting chomped off.
But master species-specific counters, and it's no issue.
Luna's no problem with prep.
She'll hit the west in 10-30 days post-notice, plenty of time.
The promotion's the real headache.
2 ranks up draws upper command eyes.
Better prep a body double to take the promotion first.
Finished reading, time hit 6 AM sharp.
Duty start.
I rang the bell on the desk to signal the beginning.
Today's first guest was already set.
Right on cue, a knock echoed from the exit door.
"Um... I need an outbound pass. Huh...?"
A bright, chirpy voice rang through the gatehouse.
A tail as big as her body, perky ears twitching atop her head, and a flowing white dress to boot.
Fleta Lulu, the beastkin with violently busty proportions for her petite frame.
Today's first guest.
But why is she soaked head to toe?