Chapter 189: Try Cumming in the Sun's Anus with a Bitch Pussy (1)[R-18]
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 189: Try Cumming in the Sun's Anus with a Bitch Pussy (1)[R-18]
Tap— tap— tap—
With her arms crossed, Helen irritably tapped the ground of the clock tower square with the tip of her shoe.
"Just what is he doing to be this late?"
Muttering under her breath, Helen looked up to check the time and clicked her tongue inwardly.
Technically, he wasn't late.
There were still five minutes left until the appointed time.
But wasn't there such a thing as 'manners'?
Arriving at least fifteen minutes early to wait for the other person should be basic etiquette, especially when meeting a big shot like herself.
'How long has it been since I, Helen Redrose, had to wait for someone...?'
Was this what it meant to be a Saintess Candidate?
To start a power struggle like this before they even met.
Of course, she had also engaged in her own little psychological warfare by arriving ten minutes before the appointment—later than her usual—but that was meaningless now that the other party was even later.
"Haaa... endure it, Helen. Just endure it. Pride is nothing to a merchant. Just getting the chance to meet in person like this is a huge step forward."
Soothing herself, Helen meticulously checked her reflection in a nearby shop window.
Her red hair was perfectly arranged without a single strand out of place, and her vivid green eyes were full of life.
"...Hmph! Perfect!"
With a confident smile, Helen tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.
Her skin condition was exceptionally good today.
At this rate, that man surely wouldn't be able to take his eyes off her.
"No, but seriously, shouldn't he at least be here on time? To dare be late for me, Helen... Hmph, speak of the devil, here he comes."
Was it because he was a man whose looks and sex she had no choice but to acknowledge?
Even from a distance, Ian's silhouette stood out as if he were the only person in the world.
The irritation that had been creeping up vanished in an instant, and a smile unconsciously played on Helen's lips.
"....Hmph!"
But that lasted only a fleeting moment.
The moment she spotted a pink-haired woman clinging tightly to Ian's arm and even holding his hand as if he were her own, Helen's expression froze ice-cold.
Helen pressed her lips thin and marched toward the two of them.
Step— step—
As the distance closed, Ian noticed Helen and waved in greeting.
"Helen, you're here early."
"Hohoho... It's a precious appointment with the Saintess Candidate, so how could I possibly be late? I hurried a bit. You two arrived right on time."
Speaking with subtle thorns in her words, Helen shifted her gaze to Yuris, who was standing next to Ian.
And for just a brief moment...
She almost forgot to breathe.
Soft pink hair that looked more than just voluminous—it looked fluffy—and beneath it, large, innocent-looking eyes.
Seeing Yuris up close reminded Helen of those expensive pet dogs that noble ladies doted on.
Even so, Helen felt that she didn't lose out at all in terms of looks, but...
'Wha-wha-what is that!!?'
Helen's eyes shook with shock.
They certainly weren't that size when she saw her at the Academy.
What on earth had happened? Even though she was wearing Saintess Robes that didn't reveal her body shape well, her 'Divine Power Pouch' was flaunting an overwhelming presence.
Glance—
Helen's gaze unconsciously drifted down to her own chest.
She swore by the Goddess Ellis, they were by no means small.
In fact, she took pride in them being the perfect Golden Ratio for her slender frame.
But... compared to that unrealistic 'Divine Power Pouch' in front of her, she couldn't deny that she felt pathetic.
'Aaaaagh! Seriously, does this make any sense?! First that Golden-haired Mad Dog! Then the Second Imperial Princess!! Does all their nutrition go straight to their tits?! Do you have any idea how much time I invest in body management!! Just what do you have to do to get that size!! My baby's stomach is going to burst from jealousy!!'
Suppressing the boiling jealousy and rage within, Helen forced a graceful and relaxed smile onto her face.
"Lady Yuris, it's a pleasure to meet you... though I suppose it's not the first time. We've crossed paths a few times at the Academy."
"Yes! Lady Helen! It's been a long time!"
"Oh my? I'm honored that you remember my name. I was quite disappointed that I didn't have the chance to speak with the Saintess Candidate directly, so I'm very happy to meet you like this."
"Ehehe! Is that so? I'm also really honored to meet you, Lady Helen!"
Snap!
Even as they exchanged greetings, Yuris didn't let go of Ian's hand, almost as if she were showing off. A thin vein popped on Helen's forehead.
'Is she picking a fight? She is, right? Well! I! Never! Just because she's in a slightly advantageous position?? This is ridiculous! And this man is a problem too!! Fine, let's say he brought her here, but why is he still holding her hand in front of me?? He should have cut her off and come over to this side!?'
Huff— puff—
Helen took a deep breath to calm herself.
She mustn't fall for such childish provocations.
A merchant must never lose their cool, no matter the situation.
"Well then... it's a bit awkward to keep standing here talking... shall we move to another spot first?"
Helen moved her feet, struggling to control her face, which was twitching with a forced smile.
"...So, Lady Yuris, you're the one who made the restaurant reservation, correct?"
"Yes! Lady Helen. It's a place I really love and visit often. The food is delicious!"
"Hohoho... I, I see."
Arriving in front of the restaurant, Helen unconsciously pressed her temples.
A meat-oriented restaurant for Beastkin? Or an omakase run by Elves? Or perhaps a place where one could taste exotic dishes filled with Demon Kingdom spices?
She had prepared compliments for whatever kind of place it might be, but...
The scene before her eyes completely defied all of Helen's expectations.
'...Seriously, we're eating here?'
She had felt uneasy ever since they turned off the main street into a dark Back Alley, but she hadn't expected it to be this bad.
The 'restaurant' before Helen's eyes was nothing short of shabby.
The brick exterior was faded in places, and the old wooden sign hanging at the entrance had its letters so blurred that it was hard to even make out the name.
Above all, a mysterious smell of food—one that even Helen, who had mastered all kinds of 'Gourmet' cuisine, had never smelled before—brushed against the tip of her nose.
'Ugh... seriously... what is this smell... why this place of all places... could it be...?'
Did the Saintess Candidate have no intention of negotiating from the start and deliberately chose such a lowly place just to screw with her?
A perfectly rational suspicion bloomed in Helen's mind, and she looked at Yuris with a suspicious glint in her eyes, but...
"Hehehe!... Ah! The smell is already making me hungry. Come! This way! Please come in!"
Whether she knew Helen's inner thoughts or not, Yuris beckoned with a bright face and popped inside first.
"Chef! Three servings of the usual, please!"
"Yes, Lady Yuris."
Seeing her order familiarly without even looking at the menu, it seemed her claim of being a regular wasn't a lie.
Feeling a slight sense of relief, Helen adjusted her expression again and spoke up.
"Now, I've prepared something to commemorate this meeting."
"Oh! Is it a, a gift? I'm sorry. I didn't prepare anything..."
"It's fine. It's just something I wanted to give. Well then..."
Helen carefully took a wine bottle out of her leather bag and puffed out her chest proudly.
"Chateau de Lumiere 457 Vintage. As you know, Lumiere wine is a precious item produced in extremely small quantities only when the best climatic conditions are met each year. This 457 Vintage, in particular, was selected under especially strict criteria, so the production was extremely low. There are probably fewer than twenty bottles left in this pristine condition across the entire continent."
'I would sell my soul for a single sip of the 457 Vintage!'
This wine, spoken of like a legend among gourmets to the point of such sayings, was literally worth whatever price was asked.
Glug— glug—
Helen, the heiress of the Red Rose Family, had carefully poured this precious wine—which even she had difficulty obtaining—into three glasses.
"Now! To commemorate our successful meeting."
For the first time since meeting Yuris, Helen wore a genuine, radiant smile as she brought the wine glass to her lips.
'Haaah♥!... This... this is it!... Haa...!... It's... it's been a while..! Mmm!'
The moment the wine touched her tongue, Helen's 'Gourmet' constitution reacted violently.
At the deep, rich aroma and complex flavors filling her mouth, Helen unconsciously felt a light 'Climax.'
"Heh! It looks really delicious! Then I'll have a sip too!!"
Yuris, who had been watching with eyes full of curiosity, also lifted her glass and took a sip of the wine...
"Pffft—!!"
Like a fountain, she sprayed the wine from her mouth directly onto the table.
"...."
A moment of silence followed.
How on earth was she supposed to explain this situation?
Even the great Helen couldn't manage her expression as she stared at Yuris.
'That, that, that insane pink-haired woman! Just what on earth does she think she's doing!!!!!'
Helen screamed internally.
Did she have any idea that the single mouthful of wine she just spat out was worth more than a fully-optioned carriage?
No, money wasn't the issue.
The 457 Vintage was something that couldn't be easily found again even with money.
Even Helen couldn't be sure how many more times she would be able to taste it in her lifetime.
And yet, to waste it like that!!
"...Haa... I'm sorry. I've had wine a few times so I thought it would be okay, but this is too bitter."
A moment later, Yuris, having regained her senses, apologized frantically.
"Wait a moment... Ah! Excuse me, but could I have some honey to mix into the wine?"
"Yes, I'll bring it right away."
"...What?"
At Yuris's request, Helen doubted her own ears.
This wine was a perfect work of art in itself. And she dared to mix honey into such a precious wine?
Just as Helen's insides began to boil, having reached the limit of her patience.
"Here is your order! I've brought the honey as well!"
The waiter placed the dishes on the table.
"....?"
Helen's gaze fixed on 'something' on the plate.
No, could this even be called 'food'?
Wouldn't calling this food actually be a Blasphemy against cuisine?
Common sense dictated that chicken skewers slathered in chocolate sauce and piled high with fresh green mint leaves could not possibly be a dish!!
"....What is this?"
"Haa! It's, it's Mint-Choco Chicken Skewers, the signature menu here!! This and the Pineapple Pizza are really delicious! Haa! Haa!"
At that moment, Helen was seized by an intense urge to blow up this entire restaurant.
Mint-Choco alone was close to a crime, but to eat it with chicken?
She looked like a puppy, but was this the kind of thing she ate?
No, she didn't think even a dog would eat this. Was this even edible?
"Here!! Lady Helen! Please eat while it's hot!!"
"...W-well then, just one bite."
But because of Yuris, who was looking at her with expectant eyes while practically drooling, she couldn't bring herself to refuse.
With a trembling hand, Helen lifted a skewer.
Then, closing her eyes tight, she carefully took a bite...
"……!?"
The Mint-Choco Chicken vividly licked Helen's tongue and exploded.