Chapter 171: My Thievery is First-Class But My Pussy is Third-Class (3)[R-18]
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 171: My Thievery is First-Class But My Pussy is Third-Class (3)[R-18]
Thump—! Thump—!
‘I thought my heart was going to stop!’
I was desperately acting composed, but my heart was hammering against my ribs like crazy.
I mean, a robber threatening you with a knife... no, a phantom thief threatening you with a staff—how could anyone not be startled?
It wasn't that I had let my guard down.
Even when Chloe was playing the part of a clumsy graduate student, I hadn't let my tension slip for a single second.
But the moment Chloe decided to get serious and lunged, I couldn't even react.
‘Is that the level you need to be at to work as a phantom thief...?’
The difference in our skills was so overwhelming it was almost laughable, but I didn't feel despair.
Because, from the very beginning, I had no intention of fighting Chloe to win.
I mean, the opponent is a legendary phantom thief; how could an ordinary Academy student like me possibly win?
To be honest, even if we put aside magic and artifacts and fought bare-handed, I felt like I’d lose.
However...
Even someone like me had one specific talent that could overwhelm Chloe.
「Sex」
When it came to sex, I had so much talent that even the Goddess Ellis herself had practically guaranteed it.
If it were a battle of sex on top of a bed, I had the confidence to defeat anyone.
...The only problem, however, was that I had no way to drag Chloe to a bed.
Actually, at first, the idea of threatening her with her secret identity to force a relationship crossed my mind for a moment, but I quickly shook it off.
‘Because that would be rape! I’ve truly, absolutely decided not to do that anymore!’
Two mistakes were more than enough.
I had sworn, with Valentine being the last, that I would never commit such an act again.
Therefore, Chloe’s ‘Correction Sex’ had to begin with mutual consent.
‘Then, what do I have to do to get Chloe to agree to Correction Sex?’
It was a difficult problem, but humans always find a way.
A few days before meeting Chloe.
“Are you... insane?”
Helen spoke with a sharp expression, her arms crossed firmly.
“That’s a bit harsh...”
“Harsh?! You need a slap across the face to snap out of it!! Someone who hasn't even been in touch for a while suddenly shows up and asks to borrow the Golden Rose—if that’s not insane, what is?! Ha! Unbelievable! You must think the Golden Rose is some kind of childhood toy...”
“...So... you can’t lend it to me?”
“Wh-what’s with that... that look in your eyes, like a puppy abandoned in the rain.... I-I said no! It doesn't matter if you look at me like that! This is a truly important item!”
“...Helen... is there really no way?”
“I told you no!! Stop throwing a tantrum... Eh? Wh-what? Why are you suddenly getting so close!”
“Just, seeing you after a while, you look even more beautiful.”
“Ugh!! ...If you think I’ll fall for words like that, you’re mistaken! More importantly, get back... Hiek!? Wh-where are you touching right now!”
“....”
“N-no!... N-not... not right now... I haven't... washed... and I only made time because you showed up, so I have to go back right away... Hngh?!♥”
The first step of ‘Punishment Sex’ was to get my hands on the ‘Golden Rose.’
Rub— rub—
“Hmm? Helen, just lend it to me for a bit.”
“Kuh...!♥ H-hiek!♥ ...Ju-just because!♥ ...Y-you’re acting... a bit cute!!♥.. Kuh-huk!!.. D-do you think♥... I’ll just... lend it!♥ Hahk!♥ In the first place... what would you even... use it for!♥”
“I told you, it’s necessary for the peace of the Empire. I’ll use it and give it back right away. You trust me, right?”
“T-that’s why!...♥ T-trusting you... is...♥ ugh... separate...♥ H-hngh-it?!? ...I’m talking to you... but your finger in my ass...!?...♥ Hieeegh?!♥”
“I’m going to keep teasing you until you say yes.”
“D-do you think...♥ Kuh-huk... Hiek!!♥!... J-just because you’re... rubbing my clit..!.. Kuh-huk.. and poking my ass♥... I’ll just... hand over the Golden Rose!♥”
Squish—! Squish—! Squish—!
“Hieeeek?!! ♥I... I... I get it♥!... Kuh!... I’ll... lend it to you!♥... Oh-hok!!?♥... N-now..... p-please stop... teasing me!!!♥♥”
Through a very high-level negotiation process with the Red Rose Heiress, I succeeded in borrowing the ‘Golden Rose.’
“Haah... Here... I’m telling you again, treat this like your own life. If it’s ever discovered that I let this out of the family, my position as heiress will be in jeopardy.”
“Don’t worry. If that happens, I’ll take care of you.”
“Wh-what are you saying!... How is a mere commoner going to take care of me, Helen Redrose... Hmph!”
“By the way... Helen, there’s something else I need.”
“What?! You’ve already borrowed the Golden Rose, what else could you possibly need? ......Wh-what? You need a suit and an artifact of the perception-altering type as well?”
“...Is that a no? Harini’s Mom?”
“You only call me Harini’s Mom at times like this!!”
“....I guess it’s a no, then.”
“Aghhh!!! I didn't say no!! So don’t look at me with that face!! Ugh... seriously... you show up after all this time just to ask to borrow a family heirloom, ask for clothes, ask for an artifact... Do you think I’m some kind of convenient woman who does everything for you?”
“No way. You know how much I love you, Helen.”
“Always so smooth with your tongue..... Well, I love you too, but...”
Adding those words in a barely audible whisper while slightly averting her eyes was definitely part of Helen’s charm.
“Haah... I’m saying it again, but no matter what else happens, you must return the Golden Rose. You must.”
“Don’t worry. I’ll return it as soon as I’ve protected the peace of the Empire.”
“That’s why I’m more worried. What on earth are you doing that you’re talking about the peace of the Empire... Haah, seriously, I’m only lending this because it’s you.”
“Is our Helen worried about me, or the Golden Rose?”
“Hmph! Both, obviously. Why ask? And... even if it’s you, today isn't for free. Consider it a debt.”
“Do I have to pay? Let’s see how much I have...”
“Hah, forget it. That pittance. How much money could you possibly have? Go buy yourself some snacks.”
“....”
From Helen’s perspective, the money I had saved was indeed a pittance, but somehow it stung.
“Then how do I pay you back? With my body?”
“W-w-with your body?! Listen to yourself!! Phew... No. This is serious. Recently, I’ve been trying to purchase land to open a new branch of the merchant guild... but as luck would have it, the very center is land owned by the Church.”
“And?”
“....What do you mean, 'and'? You dense man. You’re close with the next Saintess Candidate. Set up a meeting for me.”
“I mean, I can do that. But is that something you absolutely have to go through me for? Can’t you just go and talk to Lady Yuris?”
“Ha...!!”
Hearing my words, Helen snorted and twisted the corner of her mouth.
“You really know nothing about the Saintess Candidate, do you? Why do you think I approached you in the first place? Wasn't it because you had a connection to the Saintess Candidate and the Imperial Family!”
“What... was that the reason?”
“...Ah!! S-so what!! The past doesn't matter!! Don’t be so petty...!! I’m not by your side for that reason anymore, so it’s fine!!”
“I didn't say anything..”
“Sh-shut up!! Anyway, that Saintess Candidate. She might look innocent on the outside, but she’s a total sly fox. I’ve tried approaching her a few times before, but she cut me off so cleanly I couldn't establish a connection.”
“....?”
It wasn't that I didn't trust Helen, but I found it hard to believe that Lady Yuris would act like that.
“Aren't you mistaken? There’s no way Lady Yuris would do that.”
“Are you... taking another woman’s side in front of me right now?”
“No, it’s not like that...”
“Hmph! Fine! Anyway, just keep in mind that the Saintess Candidate is a fox pretending to be a bear! And make sure you set up a place for me and the Saintess Candidate to talk!”
“...I’m asking just in case, but you’re not trying to scam Lady Yuris, are you?”
“Are you insane!? What do you take me for!! Do you know what would happen if I scammed the Church!! I’m going to present very reasonable and appropriate terms!!”
Since the word 'scam' seemed to bother her significantly, Helen glared at me with a fierce scowl, so I changed the subject.
“Ah, but am I not going to learn etiquette? I’ve been at the Red Rose estate for a few days now, but I don't feel like I’ve done much of anything.”
Before the break, I had mentally prepared myself to receive rigorous etiquette training as Helen had mentioned...
Surprisingly, the last few days had just been a continuous cycle of eating, playing, and sleeping.
“Changing the subject, are we... Still, well, it’s a good attitude for a husband.”
Having said that, Helen narrowed her eyes and looked at me.
“Actually, it’s just as well. I wanted to ask anyway... What on earth were you doing at the Imperial Palace? Your Imperial etiquette isn't perfect, but it’s ingrained enough that you won't be embarrassed anywhere.”
“Oh, really? Is it that good?”
If Helen, with her high standards, said that much, it was a significant compliment.
“Don’t just stand there grinning, answer me.”
“It’s nothing much. My waiting time at the palace got a bit long, so I was wandering around looking for something to do, and a maid happened to offer to give me etiquette lessons, so I learned. I figured I’d just be previewing what I’d learn here anyway.”
“......So, the person who taught you was a woman?”
“Huh? She was a maid, so of course she was a woman. She was very kind. She even gave me her address and told me to visit if I had time later.”
“Ha....... You really are a piece of work... Haah....”
Maybe it was just my imagination, but Helen looked at me as if she were looking at a bug.
Anyway, after preparing various things like this, I was able to stand before Chloe.
...In the process, it took Helen longer than expected to prepare the items, so I had to keep changing the date.
“Is this the best scheme you could come up with? Bringing a fake to try and trick me?”
“....”
“Ha, I was a fool to expect anything.”
However, this was an unexpected development.
To be honest, I thought Chloe would be shocked the moment I pulled out the ‘Golden Rose’...
“Check it for yourself first.”
“There’s no need. If someone had stolen the Golden Rose, it would have reached my ears first.”
With a cold face, Chloe raised her staff.
Thinking that my life would vanish the moment that thing was swung made my mouth go dry.
“Now then, since it looks like I’ve won the bet, shall we talk about how you found out my identity?”
“...I told you before, didn't I? People don't even know a first-class phantom thief exists. It’s the same with stealing. A first-class thief like me can make it so you don't even know something was stolen.”
“Ha, first-class, you say...”
Swish—
“Is there such a clumsy 'first-class' in this world?”
Before I knew it, the ‘Golden Rose’ was held in Chloe’s hand as she spoke with a mocking tone.
“Fine, I’ll give you credit. I don't know where you had this made, but it’s quite well-done... If it weren't me, I might have been fooled. But fakes always miss the mark. On the innermost petal of the Golden Rose, there’s an engraving of a constellation... Huh? I-it’s done correctly? Hmm... But the petal part of the rose is definitely.... Eh? This is here too?... Th-then...”
Flustered, Chloe turned the ‘Golden Rose’ this way and that, trying to find evidence that it was a fake, but naturally, no such evidence appeared.
“Th-this is impossible!! This makes no sense!!”
“How can such a perfect counterfeit exist in this world??”
“That’s because it’s the real thing.”
“Don’t talk nonsense! If an incredible item like the Golden Rose were stolen, rumors would have spread immediately! This is definitely a fake! It’s a fake!!”
Chloe repeatedly inspected the Golden Rose in denial of reality, but the result was the same.
Thud—
“...I-it’s impossible... Really... You robbed the Red Rose vault...? And without the Red Rose family even knowing they were robbed....? Is such a thing... possible?”
I approached the slumped Chloe and naturally took back the Golden Rose as I spoke.
“Now, what’s the conclusion? Is the Golden Rose real?”
“...Kuh-ugh!!”
Chloe bit her lower lip hard for a moment as if frustrated, but in the end, she had no choice but to admit it.
“...Yes... It is indeed real. I lost....”
“Good! Then, as promised, shall I take the most valuable thing and the least valuable thing?”
“Yes... I don't know what those are... but if you tell me, I’ll bring them immediately...”
As if the shock of defeat was great, Chloe muttered with her fox ears drooping low.
“No, there’s no need for that. Because the most valuable thing is already right in front of me.”
“...Right in front of you? ...Ah... ugh....”
Did she think I was going to take her staff?
Chloe’s hand, gripping the staff tightly, trembled.
But don't worry, I have no interest in a staff like that.
Nibble—!
“Eek?!! Wh-what?! What did you just do?”
I approached Chloe and lightly nibbled on her drooping fox ear as I spoke.
“From this moment on, I’m going to steal your virginity.”