Chapter 5

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Translator: MadScientist

Chapter: 5

Chapter Title: Perfect Body Potion ver.3

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Right after finishing my deal with Bug Hater.

I bolted straight to the bathroom and started preparing for synthesis.

"Alright, time to synthesize a human body... Wait, that sounds kinda off, doesn't it?"

Technically, it wasn't a bad metaphor since I was basically creating a new body for myself.

But it gave off vibes like some twisted monster from the underworld was about to pop out.

Anyway... whatever. Let's get this synthesis started.

First, prepare the cauldron for the materials.

"[Emerald Cauldron]"

Thud!

I pulled out the freshly repaired spirit-infused soil and spirit-infused water from storage and dumped them into the cauldron.

Glug glug glug!

Splat splat splat!

And next...

The most expensive material, making up over half the repair fee.

What if I toss in the intact heart of an Orc Great Warrior...?

"Whoa, why is this heart so damn huge?"

It looked gross enough, but it was bigger than my head.

How the hell was I supposed to fit this monster into the ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠cauldron?

"Chop it up? Yeah, that'd obviously ruin it."

Forcing it in would just smash the heart to bits.

And the stuff already in there would probably back up and overflow.

"Why is this stupid cauldron so small?"

I'd hit an unexpected roadblock.

As I racked my brain over what to do...

Schlurp!

Suddenly, the Orc heart in my hand got sucked right into the cauldron.

"...Huh?"

What? It had a feature like this?

Did other materials work too?

Curious, I grabbed some more from storage and held them up to the cauldron.

Schlurp!

They got sucked in regardless of size and registered as materials.

"Ooh...!!!"

Yes! That's what an SS+ grade skill should be like!

Honestly, when I first saw it, I thought, "Eh, it's okay, I guess."

But now? No other skill comes close.

"If I use this right, it could work like a sub-space or something?"

I didn't know the capacity or exact conditions yet.

But it seemed like it'd be super useful in a pinch.

Anyway, I'd look into that later.

For now, back to what I was doing.

"Alright, all materials are in."

Now, light the fire under the cauldron one last time.

"[Pure Flame]"

Whoosh!

The purple flames roared to life, and the prompt appeared.

This was my second time, so I was used to it. I selected [YES] without hesitation.

Bubble bubble bubble!

Just like the first potion, the Emerald Cauldron began to boil, and the materials started merging into one.

Thus began my second cauldron staring session.

The materials blended, the color shifted, and it gradually took shape.

A moment later...

"Finally-!!!"

I did it! The last hidden piece that would let me live the life of a total stud!

One sip of this potion, and the dream I'd longed for...

The fantasy I'd only imagined while face-down on my school desk... would become reality!

"I'm... ready...!"

The extreme pain from the penalty? That didn't scare me.

It was just the price for a miracle that should've been impossible.

Hell, I could laugh it off.

Pain was temporary, but looks would be with me for life.

So I scooped out the contents of the Emerald Cauldron.

"It's pills this time, not liquid?"

I popped the completed potion into my mouth and chewed without hesitation.

A moment later...

Crack! Crunch! Snap! Grind!!!

Every bone and muscle in my body shattered and pulverized.

New bones and muscles formed from the mush.

Then they shattered again, rebuilding even stronger in a horrific cycle.

And through that nightmare...

"Grraaaghh... Guh-huh-huh... Kkh-huh-heh-heh-ha-ha-HAHAHA!!!"

I lost consciousness and regained it endlessly, babbling like a madman.

Until I finally blacked out completely.

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######

When I came to, my first thought was simple.

"Ah... the familiar ceiling."

Humans really are creatures of adaptation.

By my second blackout, I was kinda used to this situation.

"Let's see... familiar bathroom ceiling means my memories are intact."

Not bad for waking up naked on the bathroom floor. My body felt perfect.

Oh, the naked part? I'd read in wuxia novels that marrow cleansing expels bodily impurities, so I stripped midway.

"What novel was that again?"

Pretty sure it was the one where the Heavenly Demon tap-danced while shooting laser beams.

Too long ago to remember the title.

Anyway.

Seeing the actual murky, foul-smelling liquid that'd oozed out of me...

I figured those wuxia tropes were based on some real truth.

"Ugh... guess I should wash up."

Lost in thought for a moment.

Then the stench hit my nose, so I got up to rinse off the sticky goo.

And check the most important thing.

The instant I faced the bathroom mirror...

"...Holy shit!"

(Pants on for content moderation)

Real talk. Words fail me. I'm just insanely handsome.

And with this body backing it up?

I look even better than before I passed out.

"...Nah, seriously? I look way handsomer."

Not just my imagination. My features felt sharper, more defined.

Well, easy enough to check.

"Status window."

Ding!

Oh...?

"Whoa, it actually leveled up."

Handsome went from B+ to A.

Probably thanks to the new trait [Marrow Cleansing (S)].

Traits affecting other traits? Pretty surprising.

"Well, nothing could top this surprise anyway."

Know what else blew my mind more?

I'd been ignoring it, but every time I moved...

This heavy...!

Weight down there. A sensation I'd never felt before in my life.

Couldn't get used to it.

"This might be on par with a black guy's...?"

Honestly, it was so big it was kinda inconvenient.

"...But it's a good kind of inconvenient."

Not a bad thing.

Just the fate I had to bear as an alpha male. Yeah, totally.

I was a man with not just killer looks, but male pride too.

So right now...

"Gotta... show it off... right...?"

To rein in these overwhelming emotions.

I took a quick shower.

Then went into gallery settings, disabled private mode (board-wide only).

Snapped a selfie and jotted a post for the gallery.

Right as I went to upload...

I froze.

"...Should I really post this?"

The thought hit me.

Just 30 minutes ago, I'd been ready to forfeit 100 million to stay anonymous.

Now I was undoing private mode just to vent emotions?

And blasting this to the gallery? Was that smart?

"...Obviously not."

Even if the gallery called me an emotionally unstable job-hunting nutcase.

I knew this was a dumb move.

"Yeah. Better not post..."

...But for how long?

How long did I have to bottle this up?

When could I finally show my face proudly?

Was holding back even the right choice?

Could I stay sane until then...?

"...Impossible."

Answer: no way.

I knew myself.

If I didn't vent periodically, I'd go full mental meltdown.

That's how I ended up in this Climber gallery by chance. Three years of activity now.

And now they wanted me to ditch my emotional trash bin?

"How the hell am I supposed to do that?"

I couldn't.

If I tried, I'd snap and maybe die in a frenzy.

So today, once again...

"What the hell, these guys?"

...Mostly disbelief and negativity at first.

Then suddenly, accusations of photo theft started forming.

Has everyone been burned too many times?

Why won't they believe my sincerity!

"This is the face I earned through agony!!!"

They don't know the pain of every bone and muscle being ground to dust.

Only those who've felt that pain should throw stones.

"Verification? Gladly."

But with a spicy twist to stoke their inferiority complexes.

Aaah, yes. This reaction.

Look at this comment section, divided into haters and defenders, killing each other! Pure chaos!

"Tower Loser-kun... I didn't wanna go this far..."

But you didn't respect me.

You dismissed and belittled my suffering.

So the pain you're feeling now? Fair payback and atonement.

After all...

"...This is the story you started."