Chapter 23
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 23
Chapter Title: Huh? The Professor's Condition...?
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Huh? The Professor's condition...?
After checking the recipe.
I fell deep into thought.
"You want me to make this...?"
Lulu's magic core goes in? Fine, that's okay.
It came from our cute little girl's body, so it shouldn't be dangerous.
And given the red color, it seems related to the Spirit Flame she uses.
But the problem is this guy right here.
-Thousand-Year-Old Red Demon Mushroom
"Why are you showing up here, bro...?"
Tsk... This is weird.
I was definitely trying to make a healing potion, not some assassination poison.
So why did this vicious recipe pop up?
"This thing... It's definitely gonna come with some insane side effects..."
I wasn't just saying that.
My past synthesis experiences and my alchemist instincts were screaming at me.
This healing potion was going to have some seriously powerful side effects.
"But this is for sale... What am I supposed to do now...?"
Honestly, if it was a potion for me to consume, the penalty wouldn't be a big deal.
I knew exactly what materials went in, more or less.
Thanks to the previous potions, my body and mind had already been reborn fresh and new, so even if some penalty hit, I could just take it like a champ.
But the buyer paying good money wouldn't see it that way.
They'd probably read the penalty and think...
-What the hell? Some new assassination method?
...and come after me with pitchforks.
The Professor said it was for a pretty important Climber, so it's not impossible.
All things considered, selling this doesn't seem right.
If I had to find a use... The materials aren't that precious, so maybe just for satisfying my curiosity as research?
"Honestly, I am curious what kind of penalty it'll bring."
And so, not to eat it or sell it.
Just to satisfy my experience and curiosity as an alchemist, I decided to make this healing potion.
[You have purchased 'Detox Mushrooms' x1000.]
[Registering 'Detox Mushrooms' as material.]
I bought the missing materials in bulk from the auction house and registered them.
"[Pure Flame]"
I activated the skill to light the Emerald Cauldron.
[Would you like to synthesize 'Super Potent Antidepressant (ED Edition)'?]
[YES] [NO]
I hit [YES] on the alert window and smacked the cauldron.
Bubble bubble bubble bubble...
.
.
.
.
[You have synthesized 'Super Potent Antidepressant (ED Edition)' x3!]
[Super Potent Antidepressant (ED Edition)] [A]
A pill made by a master alchemist of tremendous skill using decent materials and amazing tools.
[Effect 1]: Upon consumption, mental power increases and erectile dysfunction is alleviated.
[Effect 2]: Upon consumption, enter [Reconstruction] state and acquire trait [Big Tool (B)].
[Penalty]: Immediately after consumption, lower body (genitals) melts down, and extreme pain is felt during [Reconstruction] state.
The result that appeared before my eyes was pretty shocking.
"Oh, two effects atta— Wait, Big Tool?"
I'd barely started marveling at creating my first item with two effects.
The moment I spotted the [Big Tool (B)] trait in the second effect.
I could only gape blankly at the alert window.
And for good reason. This was...
"...A drug that makes your dick bigger...?"
Uh... I think something absolutely insane just came out.
At this point, it's not even about the penalty anymore, is it?
My surprise at how insanely powerful the result was didn't last long.
I decided to share the news with the Professor first.
Professor. Professor. Professor. Professor. Professor. Professor. Professor!!!
Yeah? What now? Don't tell me the homunculus is doing poorly?
No, Lulu's doing great.
Then what?
Your requested healing potion is done.
It's only been like two hours. Already done?
I'm pretty good. Oh, but there's a tiny issue.
Yeah?
My alchemy is a bit unique, so like with the Vitality Tonic I gave you before, super effective stuff sometimes comes with penalties?
Like that drowsiness last time?
Yes. But this time it's so effective that the penalty is kinda severe.
I'll send the healing potion over—wanna check it out?
Yeah, send it over.
[You have requested a 1:1 trade with 'Tower Knowledge PhD'.]
[Super Potent Antidepressant (ED Edition)]
[Trade completed.]
I handed over the healing potion.
While waiting for the Professor to read the effects.
Soon enough, frantic chats started pouring in.
I asked for a healing potion—what the hell did you make?!
If word of this gets out to others, they won't let it slide easy!
Every power-hungry dude in the world will pull out all the stops to hunt you down.
Hmm, exactly the reaction I expected.
This was on a whole other level from the pill potions or Vitality Tonic I'd shown the Professor before.
It was something any guy would kill for.
"Honestly, the penalty doesn't even matter much."
Like I said before.
Pain is fleeting, but looks last a lifetime.
A man's pride lasts a lifetime too.
I'm the one who's wronged here.
I was just innocently trying to make a healing potion!
Then you shouldn't have shown me! Keep it secret, just for you!
Why show me and curse me with this knowledge too?!
I had briefly debated hiding it from the Professor.
But based on everything I'd seen so far, I felt I could trust him... well, not fully, but enough to believe he was trustworthy.
"Isn't this the perfect chance to learn more about the Professor?"
So I threw it out there, figuring his reaction to this dream drug for any man might open up more sharing in the future...
"...Now that I did it, I'm kinda scared."
My superhuman alchemist instincts hadn't reacted to this choice at all, so I'd felt safe.
But now that it was happening, I couldn't help but tremble.
Anyway.
All I could do was play it cool like always.
And hope for the best.
Come on... it's a dick enlarger, right?
Let's be real—you're a guy, so you'd want it too.
That's why I told you specially, just you.
Yeah? What bullshit? Why would I want that?
? Well, cuz you're a guy...?
I've never once said I'm a guy.
?
Don't play dumb fishing for it?
I'm a girl. XX chromosomes and all.
?????
"...?"
This... wasn't in any of my scenarios...?
I have no idea why the Professor's suddenly joking around like this.
But I suppressed my fluster and kept my cool as I continued chatting.
Professor, no matter how close we've gotten, jokes like that aren't cool.
Good thing it's me. Say "I'm a girl!" to other friends and they'll drop you flat?
What're you on about? You think I'm joking? Should I selfie to prove it?
Even from the chat alone, you scream guy...?
Of course—girls get "You a girl? No way!" nonstop on the gallery if they talk like girls lol.
Ah, tsk... What the hell...?
She's reacting way too seriously for a joke.
No way it's real and she's actually a girl?
Then what about hearing all those drunk stories about your friend's dick...?
The drinking buddy was my injured friend's wife. We're old pals.
She's got a high sex drive and spills bedroom stories about her hubby every time she drinks lol.
Then the trash comments on that burned good-looking guy's proof post in the gallery...?
Oh? You saw that?
He was pretending to be shy while flexing, so I couldn't help raging.
I hate show-off posts like that.
"...For real?"
She's countering every point so thoroughly—doesn't seem like a lie.
But here's the thing.
If this is true, the person who made me feel like I had my first friend... is actually not a guy, but a girl?
"What is this, some tomboy childhood friend cliché...?"
Nothing rosy like that has ever happened in my life. Super disorienting.
And right then.
Anyway, since we're on proof posts, lemme post a face-hidden one too lol.
I didn't need it that far...?
I'll believe you, no need for proof...
You say that, but I know you don't believe me.
No, I really believe you! No proof needed!!!
Sure, no biggie.
There's a concealment spell that hides just the face—super safe.
Eh? Why does a spell like that even exist?
Some old mage made it back in the day for hiding identity during quick hookups.
Turned out useful, so now most mages know it.
I was shocked such a sleazy mage existed.
Even more shocked he created something actually useful despite the sleaziness.
A bit later.
(Selfie with face obscured.)
Now you get it? That I'm a girl?
No, uh... yeah, got it!
The Professor's a girl for real!
I'm thrilled to learn this about her.
This was exactly why I spilled the beans on the potion.
But.
There was one fatal problem with this situation.
You said concealment spell, so why just hide the face...?
Cuz it's a face-only spell?
Couldn't you wear something to cover the body too...?
This is fine. And face is hidden, so no ID anyway. Just tossed it up casual.
I... have no idea how to face you from now on...
What? Just treat me normal.
That's... really hard and awkward for me...
Oh? Wait, are you a no-girl-talk guy?
(Crying frog emoticon)
(Pffft laughing Professor emoticon)
I... have never talked to a girl for over a minute...
...I wonder if there's a potion for getting good at talking to girls...?