Chapter 2
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 2
Chapter Title: Is This... Me...?
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Is this... me...?
The first thought that crossed my mind when I woke up was just one.
"...An unfamiliar ceiling."
It was truly an unfamiliar ceiling.
After all, this was the first time I'd ever woken up staring at the bathroom ceiling.
"Ugh... Why the hell am I sleeping here...?"
Yesterday, I'd clearly posted some crap on the gallery.
And gone to bed early, dreaming of a hopeful tomorrow...
So why was I using the bathroom floor as a bed?
Hmm... No clue. I couldn't remember a thing.
I vaguely recalled having some bizarre... and utterly terrifying dream...
But since I couldn't remember the details, it probably wasn't important.
Dreams are volatile anyway; they don't stick in your memory.
"Sigh, guess I should wash up first."
Judging by the sunlight streaming through the window, the sun was already high in the sky.
If I wanted to find a decent part-time job, I needed to start hustling right now.
"Ow... Sleeping on the bathroom floor wrecked my whole body..."
I dragged my creaky body toward the sink to wash up.
And that's when I glanced in the mirror.
"......? Uh, who are you?"
A stranger in the mirror was staring back at me with a shocked expression.
Mimicking my every move, to boot.
"What... the...?"
And then it hit.
"Argh...! My head...!!!"
A splitting headache surged through me, and the memories I'd mistaken for a dream came flooding back.
"That was... all real...?"
I'd awakened as a Climber.
I had an EX-rank skill.
And I'd passed out after drinking the Beauty Potion I'd made myself.
"...Status window."
"Holy...!!!"
It's real! This is actually happening!
A status window popped up just from muttering it!
"Then... that means..."
The reflection in the mirror... is really me...?
I examined the man's face closely.
A strong jawline, sharp eyes, and a somewhat cold demeanor.
To some, he might seem scary rather than handsome.
But to others, he'd be the epitome of a bad boy, probably popular as hell.
You know what I mean.
What I'm trying to say is...
"Is this... me...?"
I'd become so handsome I accidentally spouted a line straight out of a shojo manga heroine's mouth.
#####
After realizing I'd awakened as an EX-rank stud Climber,
I headed to the gallery to post and calm my overwhelming joy.
Title: Tower Loser Finally Awakens as a Climber!!!!
[Job Hunt Villain]
(Frog strutting meme)
Yeah yeah, shocking as it is, it's true.
Your bro awakened as an Alchemist.
Made and chugged a Beauty Potion, became a total stud.
So, my gallery buddies!
Tell this newbie Climber what to do first!
Tsk...? Ah shit, what? A new pattern's emerged...?
(Newbie swordsman confused by new pattern meme)
Wasn't this game dead? Why the update?
What do we do... It's broken...
If you're this mentally ill, job hunt stress must be brutal...
Guess this round goes to me, the unemployed NEET♣
You... ugh... never mind
(Frog staring at bug meme)
Yeah you're crazy, but why are we your friends, asshole?
(Dumbass meme 1)
(Dumbass meme 2)
(Called me... friend... meme)
"Ahh, no one believes me, huh."
I'd described my situation down to the tiniest detail, completely truthfully.
But no one bought it.
Well, can't blame them.
If the guy next door suddenly claimed, "I'm actually a big corp CEO," I'd call bullshit too.
Even if it turned out true later, I'd have denied it up front.
People always reject truths too hard to swallow.
Though, I did mistake my own awakening for a dream, so who am I to talk.
"And zero comments on what to do first."
I hadn't expected much, but still disappointing.
No kind gallery folks to guide me, I guess.
"No choice. Time to stop leeching and figure it out myself..."
From your post, it's impossible to believe you actually awakened.
Still, just in case, here's a link to my newbie guide.
<10 Things Practical Newbie Climbers Should Know (Link)>
Whoa, actually sharing it?
This guy's nosy AF
And that's a good thing... heh heh...
? You gay or what?
"Oh...?"
A helpful gallery user willing to share info? Who knew.
I'd only used the place as an emotional dumpster, never checking comments, so I'd missed this.
"Check it out first."
Of course, I wasn't naive enough to click random links blindly.
I browsed the poster's history to verify they were legit.
And the verdict?
"Why's a gem like this slumming it in our dump of a gallery...?"
Tower Knowledge PhD was a likable regular who specialized in compiling tower info.
The posts were thesis-level quality.
His nick made me suspect he really was some PhD.
"Guess it's true that five trash heaps make one normal person?"
...Wait, was it the other way around?
Whatever.
I double-checked for malware, confirmed it was safe, and clicked.
Title: 10 Things Practical Newbie Climbers Should Know.
[Tower Knowledge PhD☑]
(Nice to meet you meme)
As you know, I'm a Climber whose hobby is gathering, analyzing, and posting tower info here.
Read my posts thoroughly if you want deep knowledge—they'll help a ton.
But I overlooked one thing: you lazy fucks won't read them.
Always whining "boring and pretentious."
I let it slide at first, but now it pisses me off.
So here's an ultra-simple summary, "not boring or pretentious" as you claim.
Objections? I'm right ㅇㅇ
Let's go.
1. The tower you're assigned is based on your birth country's towers, randomly if multiple.
2. Awakening gives a random job and related skills, also random.
3. Towers reset daily at midnight. Challenge by saying/thinking "[Enter Tower]." Skills work the same.
4. Monsters match the tower's name/theme. Korean big 4: Tower of the Conqueror (territory), Tower of Struggle (boss raids), Tower of Bugs (bugs;;), Tower of the Dead (corpses;;). Climbers call it the 'theme.'
5. Tower-related grades: F~S. Rumors of S+, but no proof.
6. Sell loot/materials via gallery exchange. This place spawned with the towers, has special features unlocked by verifying as Climber.
7. Most deaths: floors 1-5. Don't get cocky—prepare fully. Seriously.
8. Prep depends on job&tower. Search gallery for yours.
9. Too obvious? It's for newbies only ㅇㅇ
10. Boring/useless/pretentious? Die.
*Update: Troll comments locked to verified only ㅇㅇ Get awakened and verify if mad.
Info posts always get my upvote.
Teacher's... posts... always... read... them... Thank... you...!
Takes me back... Brainless newbies whining they couldn't kill goblins... Oh, they're probably gone now lol
Tower climbing's easy with a lance! Everyone use lances!
Boring. Gonna die.
You little shit.
(Art is explosion! meme)
"Hmm, got it."
I now understood what towers were about.
And realized my prior knowledge (mostly from shorts) was total bullshit.
"Low floors have such high death rates...?"
As a Goblin Slayer fan (500/month sub), this shocked me.
Videos hyped goblins as weakest, no sweat—total dogshit monsters.
Gallery digging revealed they slaughter most newbies.
I'd have strolled in and died without this post.
"Can't blindly trust NewTube vids anymore."
Clickbait views over facts. Gallery's verified Climber posts beat it, even amid crap.
Tower Knowledge PhD's guide was gold for me.
"Gotta remember Tower Knowledge PhD."
Seems like a nice guy.
Would grumble but answer questions.
Won't spam like a beggar or get blocked.
I'll browse the gallery solidly for a day.
No job hunt needed now; time's plentiful.
Enter tower only after full prep, as advised.
"No one's holding a knife to my throat forcing me in."
And besides...
"...This comes first, right?"
More than rushing the tower,
I had personal priorities.
"[Synthesis]"
Please enter what you want to synthesize.
〖 -- 〗
When I checked the mirror earlier, a thought struck me.
My face was "Whoa!" level handsome,
but this scrawny body didn't match...
A bad thought, yeah.
"...Kinda off-putting."
Like a celeb face photoshopped onto a bad body.
Weird and nauseating, like unfinished work.
So I vowed inwardly:
Even if it means that agony again,
I'll sculpt this body to match the face.
"Not some floating egg ghost head."
With time to spare,
Time to fix this eyesore first.
Please enter what you want to synthesize.
〖Perfect Body Potion〗
"Let's go!!!"
Perfect Body Potion.
Dunno if it'll work,
but worth a shot.