Murder Contract on the Hopeless Trio
The feast Ameri prepared was the finest meal I'd eaten since tumbling into this other world. The plating, the flavor, the portions, the harmony between dishes, the nutritional balance—there wasn't a single thing to criticize. Tirga and I both tore into it like vacuum cleaners devouring dust from the floor. This wasn't just mother's home cooking. It was the kind of warmth a grandmother pours into a meal for her beloved grandchildren.
“Phew. I'm stuffed.”
“I could eat like this every single day.”
“Ameri’s culinary skills are truly exceptional.”
If I had the money, I'd hire her as my personal chef in a heartbeat. Actually, thinking about it, even if I hired a cook, without proper ingredients or a real kitchen it would all be pointless. The camper van had some cooking tools, but they'd look pathetic next to this mansion and would be inconvenient as hell. Besides, there was no guarantee Ameri would obediently follow me anyway. Still, I couldn't help feeling a twinge of lingering attachment.
“I'll bring out dessert, then.”
Ameri stood up and headed back to the kitchen. With the little beastman girl gone, it was the perfect time to pick up our earlier conversation.
“Alright, Miss Admi. Let's finish what we started.”
“I'll cut straight to the conclusion. Please kill these three applicants.”
If I'd been drinking something, I would've sprayed it everywhere. After everything else, I was now getting literal murder contracts. Come to think of it, I was a mercenary. Mercs who get paid will fight in wars, so killing a few people shouldn't be a big deal.
Admi pointed her index finger into the air, and three information windows materialized at once.
“First is Fridica, the leader of the Silvareich Empire and the one they call the Elf Führer. She drew the Empress card. Her class is 'Leader.' She possesses a terrifying ability perfectly suited to the name—one that lets her guide others and draw out their strength.”
“But instead she's using that power to spread elf supremacy through propaganda and destruction, right?”
“Precisely. Even I never imagined such pitch-black madness could hide behind such a beautiful face.”
“Well, if an elf isn't beautiful, is she even an elf?”
“Even taking the side effects of the tarot into account, her corruption and insanity are highly irregular. To think she would spread the history and madness of modern society into this world...”
The elf named Fridica was a stunning Western beauty with long golden hair and blue eyes. She looked exactly like the true Aryan bloodline that the mustache-wearing Führer had always longed for. Ah, Honoré de Balzac. You were right. Beauty is humanity's greatest power! And to seize power, one must first possess beauty.
“Master, if you stare at that elf any longer your eyes will fall out.”
“Since I'm going to kill her anyway, I might as well get a good look first.”
“The second man is Blanov. He's currently the second-in-command of the Northern Federation's revolutionary army. His symbol is the Wand King. His class is Butcher. An utterly wicked class that drives countless lives to death and uses their blood as fuel to gain power.”
“He looks like the type who'd be really into purges.”
“Correct. While leading the revolutionary forces, he has been eradicating every high-ranking noble and clergyman in the North. Because of this, these snow-covered cold lands are being dyed with hot blood.”
After looking at a pretty woman, staring at a mustached old man was pretty annoying. No need to examine a guy with a dick in detail. He'd be burnt to a crisp by electric roasting soon enough anyway—what did I care?
The third data file was a woman. From her clothes, she looked like a priestess or some kind of clergy. Was she the Pope? A silver-haired woman with narrow eyes that gave off a mysterious impression. Her figure was hidden by her robes so I couldn't tell, and compared to the well-proportioned Elf Führer she seemed somewhat lacking, but she still had a pretty face. Wait, narrow eyes? Wasn't that the symbol of a mastermind?
“The final woman is Beretta, who serves as both the king and pope of the Holy Empire. The card she drew was the High Priestess. Her class is Paladin. Despite being a woman, she rose to that position through pure ability alone. Quite remarkable.”
“Compared to the first two, she looks pretty normal and righteous though? Why do you want me to kill her?”
“She is no different from a fanatic or a false cult leader. If I were to compare her actions, she would be the crusaders of a fantasy world.”
“Ah……”
If that was the reason, I could accept it. An Elf Führer, a purge-loving commie, and a cult-leader pope. These three really were the ultimate hopeless trio, weren't they? At this point, I had a reasonable suspicion that God or some higher being had created these three specifically to destroy the fantasy world.
“I'm not exactly normal myself, but knowing there are people even crazier than me running wild out there… You said these three went through the Administrator's hands. Couldn't you have just killed them earlier?”
“As an Administrator, directly eliminating applicants is impossible. I can only provide a small amount of assistance.”
So that's why that unlucky dwarf gave me Tirga, an SSS-rank. For a moment, my opinion of the guy improved slightly. If it weren't for Tirga, I wouldn't have survived this long. Though I nearly died from being fucked to death.
“So in conclusion, you want me to play the role of the hero of justice who kills these three villains. Ugh, that cringey shit—I'd rather die than do it.”
When I play games, I usually watch the story, but there's one thing I absolutely refuse to touch. The idiot protagonist who gets used like a tool in the name of saving the world while acting all righteous. That kind of moron is perfect for being discarded after being exploited—classic 'the hunting dog is cooked once the rabbits are dead.' Besides, I've already kidnapped adventurers while working with the Nazi elves, and I've bombed a village back to the Stone Age during a war. What part of that makes me a hero of justice? Come to think of it, I even killed the real hero and those cunt bitches. My evil deeds are pretty impressive. When I eventually die, it'll be an express ticket straight to hell.
Even after I said all that, Admi didn't look offended or show any particular reaction.
“It seems there's a misunderstanding. I never asked you to become a hero of justice, Lord Marquelon. I simply placed a murder contract.”
“Still, asking a weakling like me is too much.”
“You are by no means weak. The one sitting beside you, Tirga, is a weapon capable of destroying an entire nation by herself. And you have her serving as your limb, do you not?”
Would you look at this cunning dwarf auntie? She seemed to know everything about me. The Administrator title wasn't just for show. I'd accept the proposal, but I needed to steer things toward negotiation.
“Fine. If I agree to kill those three, what compensation can I receive?”
“I will grant you a resource-rich territory that includes a mine filled with a considerable amount of gold and precious gems. By the authority of an Administrator.”
That was an offer so good it made my mouth water to the point of bursting. It perfectly solved the weakness of my ability that was restricted by money. Plus, in strategy simulation games, starting with abundant resources always made the game comfortable and easy, didn't it? I couldn't keep wandering around as a mercenary forever. I needed at least a place where I could stretch my legs while lying down.
“Very well. In that case, may I ask a question?”
“Go ahead.”
“Is there any benefit for you, Miss Admi, in having those three killed? Or do you have some personal grudge?”
“You are quite the calculating one, Lord Marquelon. There is no such thing. However, if those three are left alone for much longer, this world will be destroyed.”
To think my half-assed speculation was actually true. The world would be destroyed? No way! I'd finally escaped that hopeless hellhole of Korea, found a way to live comfortably sucking on honey, and now it was all going to be destroyed? Absolutely not. I'd take my insanely powerful summons and blow all their heads off immediately.
“That's quite terrifying.”
“Let me say it again: a hero is unnecessary. Evil is defeated by greater evil, and madness is overcome by greater madness. You, Lord Marquelon, are perfectly suited for this.”
This felt strangely insulting. Wasn't she basically calling me an extremely evil and insane bastard? But when I thought about it, she wasn't wrong, so I couldn't refute her. Still feeling a bit wronged, I tried to ask Tirga for her opinion, but she had already flopped onto the table and fallen asleep.
“Dessert is here! Let's eat!”
“Ooh, dessert!”
She shot upright and stuffed the food Ameri brought into her mouth. How nice it must be to be so simple.
What Ameri brought were cookies, cake, fruit, and juice. To think she'd be this meticulous even with dessert—I really felt properly treated.
“Oh right, Ameri. How's Lati doing?”
“She's resting after eating. She's gotten a bit skinny, but if she eats lots of delicious food here and sleeps well, she'll be fine.”
“My companion has been in your care. I need to repay you somehow.”
When you receive grace, you must offer appropriate repayment. I held out silver coins, but Ameri wouldn't take them. To think there were people immune to money! Maybe I'd offered too little? Or perhaps she was too young and innocent to understand the value of money.
“Instead of that, help Ameri. I need big brother's strength.”
“My strength?”
“Yeah! There's a scary ghost den a bit far from this mansion. I want big brother to scold it.”
A ghost, huh… Well, this was a fantasy world, so it wouldn't be strange for something like that to exist. Since she'd fed me, dealing with that much was no big deal.
“Alright. This big brother will go scold that ghost. Let's go, Tirga. Time to work.”
“Munch munch. Understood, Master.”
And so, after everything I'd been through, I ended up receiving an exorcism quest. I left Lati's care to Ameri and decided to take Admi with me. Ameri was trembling violently because she was terrified of ghosts. If I dragged this small, delicate beastman girl to the scene, she might faint.
After leaving the mansion, I summoned the camper van again. This time I put Tirga in the rear living space and seated Admi in the passenger seat. Maybe because she was so short, it felt like I was carrying a doll.
“Then let's depart.”
“Please guide me.”
Alright, let's see what the ghosts of this world look like!