7. Life, F*ck
7. Life, F*ck
But of course, no one would ever believe it if I told them that's how I'd scraped by.
So among adventurers, I ended up with a reputation as a jinx—bring me along and people die. And because of that, porter work had pretty much dried up entirely.
Rumors like that usually flare up like a fad and get forgotten eventually. But my unique ability had a way of dragging even fleeting incidents out, so...
'Woo Hyosung? Where have I heard that name before?'
'He's that guy. The one on the Adventurer's Guild blacklist.'
'Everyone who goes with him gets dragged down to hell.'
'Rumor has it some assassin guild took out a contract on him.'
'And they say he's always going around going "woohyo woohyo."'
'Eek, a monster! Get out of our empire right now!'
"Hey, I don't do that shit."
I understood that a name people remembered got false rumors attached to it. But the truth was, in this world, I was just a shit-tier foreign worker who chased nothing but romance and worked his ass off.
For someone like me, getting treated like a punching bag just for having survived felt downright unfair.
"*Sigh*... This damn ability doesn't help with a single thing."
Other people—unless they were idiots like Oh Deokhun—got abilities that were at least a little useful. But me? Ever since I got this piece of crap ability, I'd never once actually been helped by it.
People always remember the bad stuff more, after all.
If I worked a counter job at a government office or a customer service desk, all the real assholes out there would definitely remember my name and bury me in complaints, blocking any escape.
If things went south, I could've just studied for the civil service exam, landed a cushy government gig, and snacked on crackers in my iron rice bowl whenever I was bored. But now even that option had gone to hell.
Life is fucked.
"The root cause from the beginning is this goddamn world that just pumps heroes full of hot air."
Sure, it's a problem that the powerful sweet-talk heroes inside their little bubbles. But considering those heroes are supposed to be mature adults by default, I couldn't just blame everything on the world.
I mean, even if you're rich and well-connected, life is such that one swing from a deranged maniac with nothing to lose can send you straight to the grave.
Same goes here. Even if you got your hands on the legendary ore mithril and forged a weapon, you'd end up constantly targeted by people who want it—get the back of your head split open, lose your life, and hand your precious gear over to someone else.
So how do you survive in a harsh world like this?
Hide your strength as much as you can, stay humble, and bide your time.
If I ever got mithril, I'd make a crutch out of it and play disabled. Then when some fools who thought I was easy came at me, I'd bash all their heads in, erase the witnesses, and whine like a victim to snatch every last crumb.
Even the high and mighty survive that way. Why couldn't I?
So please, Status Window, just give me enough strength to make a crutch out of mithril.
"Open, Status Window!"
The status window popped up at my sudden outburst.
I was hoping it would show something that could turn this miserable situation around. But nope, no such luck, Hyosung.
No explosive growth in your aptitude stats, no ability reversal trick—none of that.
"Seriously, why does every damn draw have to be a dud?!"
"As long as it's not me, I'm fiiiine~!"
And just then, a shout from a lottery booth at the market square as I passed by.
Watching people grab each other by the collar and squabble, it looked like a scene of people living and dying by luck. But I was someone who'd completely cut ties with gambling.
Come on, a person should work honestly. If you get sucked into gacha, you end up losing your money and your life.
"Still, it'd be nice if a little luck came my way sometimes."
As I walked along, idly thinking how great it would be if a chunk of mithril just fell onto the street for me to make a crutch—
I suddenly noticed several sheets of paper posted on a board in the square.
Imperial decrees, announcements from the current territory, and job postings...
"You can take requests here too?"
Come to think of it, the Adventurer's Guild mostly handled day labor, short-term work, subjugation, and exploration—so it wasn't great for long-term jobs.
Which meant those kinds of official postings were probably put up on boards like this.
They were stable, sure, but the pay was low, so I'd never even glanced at them before. But with my situation being what it was, I had no choice but to look this way too.
"Let's see, a decent job... Hm?"
As I scanned the posted documents, one sheet caught my eye.
On a considerably old piece of paper, a request written in terrible handwriting also bore the official mark of the Mage Tower.
Had a mage from the Tower been staying in this city and posted it because they had work to assign?
But the content just said, 'There is much work. Come to the designated location.' Nothing else worth noting.
The only thing that stood out was the reward... Gak! What the hell?
It was ten times more than the slave wages I got from following heroes!
"What is this... What kind of work pays this much?"
"You're going to take that request? Are you out of your mind?!"
Just then, an old man passing by came up to me and began expressing his horror.
It was a completely unexpected reaction.
Putting aside that he shouted at a stranger without so much as a hello—why was he suddenly treating me like an escapee from a mental ward?
"*Ahem,* my apologies. Seeing someone so pitifully choosing the road to hell, I couldn't help myself..."
"Ah, well, if that's what it is."
I had to give credit to someone who tried to stop me from going to hell.
If you want to survive long, you listen to advice like that.
Looking back down at the paper in my hand, I quietly asked the old man.
"But why is this request so dangerous?"
"Because it bears the mark of the Mage Tower, doesn't it? Do you not know how arrogant and dangerous the mages affiliated with the Tower are?"
Ah, well, I'd heard plenty of rumors.
In fact, that mage who got torn limb from limb not long ago had learned magic with the Tower's support after being summoned. His insufferably arrogant personality had clearly been shaped there.
"The mages who enter the Tower are all brilliant, but because they focus entirely on research, they lack any ethical sense. They treat those who can't get into the Tower as foolish, dull beings, and see them as consumables to throw into their research whenever necessary."
"But, I mean, would they really kill people that easily? No matter how chaotic this world is, the Empire is still a society governed by law."
"The Empire actively sponsors that Mage Tower. Without a solid backer, they wouldn't even bat an eye if a person or two died."
Hoo boy, so here too, the rich and connected called all the shots.
A regular schmuck like me who couldn't even catch a break to earn money—where was I supposed to live in misery?
"I'm warning you out of old-fashioned concern, but if you take a Mage Tower request just because the pay is high, you'd better think carefully. Unless you're determined to earn money even if it kills you!"
"Ah, yes. Thank you for the advice."
After parting ways with that rare piece of advice in this harsh world,
alone in the square, I took a moment to mull over the request in my hand again.
"Mm, yeah. Better not to take a dangerous request like that, right?"
Just from rumors, the Mage Tower was a place crawling with psychopathic scientists.
If I blindly trusted the law and followed them, I might end up getting vivisected in some hidden spot, or dragged along for material collection and turned into a meat shield against demon beasts.
Can't have that. I might be a worthless piece of crap, but my life is precious.
"Anyway, life over money."
Damn Mage Tower bastards. You think I'll come running just because you offer a little more pay?
Don't think you can buy me with money!
****
But it was still way too much money to pass up. And without finding any decent source of income, I ended up going to the residence where the Mage Tower mage was supposed to be staying.
It's not my fault.
It's the world—this damned world that drove me to it!
"*Sigh,* life's really shitty."
But even considering the danger, it was clearly an offer too hard to refuse.
Just the reward on the request would've taken me dozens of hair-raising porter jobs trailing behind heroes to earn.
On its own, that was more than enough to fund the 'solo adventure' I'd originally set my sights on.
Thinking about it that way, wasn't it better to get it over with in one go instead of shouldering that risk over and over?
"...Anyway, if you're chasing romance, you've got to be willing to take some risks."
If things go south, I'll just strip down to my underwear and bolt.
Having made my decision, I went straight to the building's door, knocked, and took a look around.
"Excuse me, is anyone home?"
The place where the mage was supposedly staying was a mansion somewhat larger than average.
There were plenty of windows, all of them curtained over so I couldn't see inside.
A slightly ominous feeling crept over me.
But if things went wrong, I could always smash through a window and escape—I could even think of them as an opportunity.
-Click.
As I waited with that tension, the door finally opened, revealing the interior.
"Heh, heheh..."
The faint laugh that followed probably came from the person I assumed to be the client.
"Wh-Who is it? A-Are you the one who saw the request?"
A shabby woman with a trembling voice and a feeble laugh.
Her hair was unkempt and tangled, her clothes crumpled and disheveled, exposing her collarbone and cleavage.
Hardly an appropriate sight to present in front of a man.
"Ah, yes. That's right..."
"Yo-You finally came. Hehe."
Yet she seemed completely unaware of her own appearance. Blinking unfocused blue eyes, she quietly gestured inside the mansion.
"J-Just come in. I-I'll explain the request right away..."
"Ah, yes. Understood."
A woman—that was a surprise, but still, the atmosphere was creepy...
No, there was no immediate danger, so let's just follow along. Thinking that, I stepped inside and saw bluish light flowing here and there through the dark room.
Not lighting... Magic circles? Or reactions from magic stones?
"Ah, ahh... Th-Th-Those things there, d-don't mind them. J-Just, various experiments that ended up that way..."
"No, that doesn't bother me."
I glanced around the room.
As I took in the scene lit by that blue glow, I felt my breath catch.
Not because I'd spotted something dangerous. It was just a kind of compulsive cleanliness from my usual habits.
"It's just... the messiness bothers me."
I knew Tower people cared about nothing but research, but still, wasn't this a bit too messy?
"...Pfft!"
Just as I was bothered by that, a laugh burst from her lips.
Right as that ominous feeling hit, she began staring at me with ecstatic laughter.
"Th-Th-The mess bothers you? R-Really...?"
Why was she suddenly laughing?
Did I offend her by pointing it out?
Should I just smash a window and bolt right now?
"Th-Then cleaning... You'll c-clean the mess, right?"
Her voice came just as that impulse hit me.
I didn't quite grasp the meaning at first, and just stared at her with a blank expression.
"Huh? Cleaning...?"
"B-Because you're a housekeeper."
Housekeeper, what did she mean?
Feeling puzzled, I stared at her, and soon she hugged herself, grinning broadly, and gestured around.
"If I hire a housekeeper... I-I won't have to tidy up the room anymore. Right? Huh?"
"Uh, yes, well, a housekeeper normally does that kind of work..."
"Now, th-the room gets cleaned, laundry gets done, and f-food, I can eat without my own haaands... Uhehe, liberated from all the tedious tasks. I can f-focus on research now...!"
Pfhah, as if suppressing her laugh, she covered her mouth with her hand and ducked her head.
As I stared blankly at her abnormal trembling, she slowly raised her head and asked, facing me.
"Yo-You'll do it, right? C-Cleaning..."
"Ah, yes. As long as you pay me, I'll do it."
After all, I'd suffered enough. A little luck like this had to come my way to make life worth living.
Life is sweet as fuck.