50. Scars of Heartbreak
50. Scars of Heartbreak
Well, anyway.
There'd been a bit of trouble, but the consultation with Tachia had wrapped up fairly smoothly.
I'd returned the weapon, and she'd promised to use the materials I'd brought to craft new armor.
On top of that, she'd bought some of the materials to help me supplement my living expenses, and even showed the generosity of throwing in extra money, telling me to use it for entertainment.
"The armor will be finished tomorrow, so go back and rest up for today."
"Ah, you really didn't have to go this far..."
"I carried you to the bed when you collapsed yesterday, didn't I?"
"..."
"Just take it. It's also my way of thanking you for fully hearing out my request."
Well, considering my broke situation, it'd be best to just accept whatever I can get.
I'd taken the money she'd given me and was just about to leave the workshop.
"Ah, wait just a moment."
She then went inside the workshop and soon placed something in my hands, holding it out before me.
A long spear.
It was the Ego Weapon she'd lent me before.
"Why this...?"
"I was hoping we could do a bit more business before you leave."
Business.
When we'd first met, she'd clearly done the same thing — bringing out the spear and making a sudden proposal.
She'd said there was something she wanted to test using my ability, so she'd lend me this spear for a while.
"If I were to give you this spear, could you accept it?"
But what she was proposing now wasn't just a loan.
She was offering to transfer ownership of this precious spear — to me, of all people.
"...This, to me?"
"Your ability has the potential to accelerate the growth of ego weapons. Even just receiving periodic reports on that would benefit me in many ways."
It was true that the weapon responded to my call because it recognized me as its master.
Just the fact that a weapon I'd only used for a few days had produced that level of effect — from the perspective of a craftsman like her, it was natural to consider it worth researching.
And since I was the only one in this world with that ability, she'd be thinking she didn't want to let this opportunity slip away easily.
"...What are the conditions?"
"You just have to grant one thing I want. But I'll tell you what that is after you accept... Given the reward, you can at least give me that much, right?"
Tell me what she wanted after I accepted, huh...
It was a condition that could easily lead to a hard sell, but even so, I didn't feel particularly wary of the offer.
I knew better than anyone just how incredible this weapon's performance was, and considering it was still growing, there was a chance it could become even more amazing.
Getting something like that right now, rather than after saving up money later — the proposal itself was practically groundbreaking.
"So, will you accept?"
"I..."
The reason I couldn't just snatch up her offer, though, wasn't because I was worried about what price she'd demand.
I trusted that someone who'd felt grateful to me and even treated me to a meal wouldn't maliciously deceive me...
No, it was because I recalled that the reason I'd decided to borrow this weapon in the first place wasn't its performance — it was the goodwill I felt toward her.
'More than anything, if I have this weapon, I'll naturally have opportunities to meet Miss Tachia again, right?'
'...Meet again?'
'Yes, because I've taken a liking to Miss Tachia.'
Right, she was blunt and rough around the edges, but she wasn't a bad person.
So I'd figured we could maintain a good relationship going forward, and that expectation had been fulfilled by receiving kindness like getting breakfast this morning.
As long as it didn't turn out like with her — the one who'd parted ways with me not long ago — showing me kindness only to say goodbye before long.
"I'm sorry, but could I think about it a bit more?"
"...Was it too much pressure?"
Even if she didn't know the circumstances, she could tell something was holding me back.
Tachia, having vaguely sensed it, lit the tip of the cigarette she'd pulled out with a puff of breath and spoke.
"Fine, it's best to be careful with promises. Take your time thinking it over until you come to pick up your armor tomorrow."
Still so generous.
I gave her a polite farewell and turned my back on her workshop.
[Please forget me.]
As if ruminating on the contents of the letter still tucked in my chest.
Gradually setting my jaw.
***
The money I'd gotten from selling off some of the materials — even if it was just a portion — was no small amount.
I felt grateful to Tachia in many ways for giving me so much money, but what I actually ended up doing with it was just walking into some random bar and drinking with snacks.
I drank, and drank some more...
Once my stomach was full, I'd wander the streets a bit, then go back into a bar — repeating the cycle.
"Sir, aren't you drinking a bit too much?"
"Just give me another bottle. I've got plenty of money."
With a Mind stat of A+, did they really think a bit of drinking would get me drunk?
Sure, drinking this much put quite a strain on my body, but more than that, I felt a desperate need to suppress the bitter feeling in my heart.
Because the memories I'd tried so hard to ignore while focusing on work kept resurfacing now that I had time to spare.
'You don't understand it, so it scares you. Isn't that right?'
Vivian Platonis.
The witch who had swept away one of the Empire's most notorious criminal organizations with incomprehensible power.
That was a phenomenon that even I — having experienced all kinds of things in this world — found terrifying, but still, I'd thought the time I spent with her wasn't bad.
And it must have been the same for her.
The fact that she hadn't killed me wasn't a mere whim — it was because she held no small amount of regard for me.
'If we get the chance later, let's meet again.'
But even if we both felt that way, how could we possibly stay together?
Even in that previous mission, if it hadn't been for Airi's prophecy, Tachia's weapon, Marilyn's performance — I would've been dead long ago without it being strange at all.
No matter how drawn I felt to others, if I didn't have the strength to endure the danger, I didn't even have the right to stand by their side, did I?
'Please forget me.'
Right, I had no right.
Because I didn't have the ability to hold onto the women leaving me or protect them from the dangers they faced.
Even if I knew that once this moment passed we might never see each other again — if I couldn't grasp hold of it when we were face to face, then this feeling could only end in parting.
"I..."
I could feel those thoughts gradually turning into regret.
Because even though I hadn't come to this world by choice, I couldn't shake the thought: what if I'd had power?
"Why... am I not a Hero?"
If I had power, I'd have the chance to be honest with my feelings.
I'd be able to stand by the side of those willing to accept me, by my own will.
"Fufu, hey there, mister~"
It was just as I'd stepped out of the bar into an alleyway, feeling that lament.
I straightened my body, which had been staggering from the intoxication, and my gaze soon turned to the shadow approaching beneath the light.
"I saw you drinking alone in the bar earlier — if you're up for it, how about I keep you company?"
In a sparsely populated alley stood a woman in a daring outfit that barely covered her chest.
The bewitching sight, with most of her upper body exposed, was the style of attire commonly worn by those called "dancing girls."
"...Why are you approaching me?"
It was an unfamiliar sight to me.
When I'd been a porter, I'd put most of my earnings into savings and lived on just the bare minimum of meals — I'd never had the chance to watch dancing girls perform.
"Oh, come on~ It's because you looked lonely, silly~ I just can't leave people like that alone, you know~"
With a grin, click-clack, the dancing girl approached with the sound of her heels.
As if seducing me, she swayed her hips left and right, and soon she grabbed both my arms, leaning her smiling face right up close.
"I happen to be free tonight too. Fufu, how about this, since things turned out this way? How about we drink together and soothe that loneliness..."
The moment her ample cleavage wrapped around my arm.
The sensation wasn't vivid because of the alcohol, but I wasn't so far gone that my reason was buried — I could immediately understand her intentions.
Bold skinship toward a man she'd just met — that in itself meant she was after something.
"Then..."
Of course, playing along with that intention would be suitable for soothing loneliness, but even so, I didn't feel particularly attracted to her.
"Then you — would you still meet with me after today is over?"
What I needed right now wasn't temporary comfort, but certainty — whether someone as weak as me had the right to stand by anyone's side.
And whether that person wouldn't leave my side — I was aware that I needed that conviction...
"After today's over? What does that mean?"
"...No, never mind."
If that certainty wasn't there, maybe it was better to keep my distance from the start.
Having unconsciously reached that conclusion, I shook off the chest wrapped around my arm and tried to leave.
The voice came from behind me about five steps later.
"What's with that guy? Is he talking nonsense because he's drunk? He was ordering like crazy at the bar so I thought he had money, but now he's just spouting weird shit."
"..."
"...Whatever. Half the world's men anyway — I'll just shake down some other guy."
A voice sharpened with blatant hostility.
When I realized she wasn't even trying to hide what she'd just said, a bitter smile naturally crept onto my lips.
Yeah, right — some woman approaching a guy like me, a mere Foreign Worker?
Marilyn and Vivian had accepted me regardless of that, but if finding people like them were easy, I wouldn't be agonizing over this in the first place.
"Oh, spotted~ Hey there, handsome~ You look lonely — wanna have some fun with me~?"
The dancing girl who'd walked away from me started hitting on another man, but I withdrew my attention and tried to keep going on my way.
Whoever got scammed out of their money — I couldn't care less right now.
"Are you a virgin, wench?"
My footsteps stopped when another voice came from behind.
"...Huh?"
"I asked if you were a virgin."
It was a familiar voice.
I hadn't heard it often, but it was the kind of voice I felt like I'd heard somewhere before.
"Aing~ Of course I'm a virgin~ But depending on how you handle me, mister..."
"Then die, you filthy virgin!!"
Before I could even remember who the owner of that voice was — Rip! A thunderous sound rang out.
"Huh...?"
The moan that escaped her lips couldn't even become a scream, and the fragments of her body, butchered alive, were mercilessly scattered across the ground.
And yet the Vampire who had sliced her to death was tearing apart even those fragments with razor-sharp nails.
"How dare this impure, filthy wench try to pollute someone! A cleanly rotten bitch like you deserves to die a thousand times! No, you should be erased from this world without a trace!"
Rip, rip. The sound of flesh being torn ripped through the air in succession, and the swindler who'd hit on me was crushed until her body was unrecognizable.
No matter how deserted the alley was, this was still within human territory — and in an instant, a person had been mercilessly butchered.
"Oh dear, I got excited — not like me at all. Honestly, there are just too many flippant bitches in the world... Hm?"
As I stared at the scene in horror, the Vampire — having flicked the blood off his hands — began shifting his gaze toward me.
Right, it was a Vampire.
The same Vampire who, about a year ago, had killed the Hero I'd been attending to — because she was a "virgin."
"You there, the young man passing by. Come over here for a moment."
"...Ah, yes."
Belatedly I realized I was screwed, but if I tried to run, he might get provoked and skewer me from behind.
As I approached him with as much composure as I could muster, he stared at me for a moment, and a bright smile began to spread across his lips.
"Ohh, yes. A memorable face indeed. Aren't you that polite young man I saw back then?"
"Ah, yes, it's been a while. But, um..."
-Fwoosh!
Just as I was about to correct his phrasing, the Vampire vanished from before my eyes.
A chilling sensation swept over me from behind, and the Vampire — who'd materialized silently from the darkness — began draping an arm over my shoulder.
"Haha~ It's truly a pleasure to run into you like this. So, have you been gaining some... experience with women since then?"
"Ah, no. Still..."
"Oh my, such a pity. I gave you some earnest advice, and yet you still have no experience? My, what an utterly hopeless bumpkin you are, haha!"
So saying, the Vampire began to wear a coy smile on his lips.
I'd been utterly cowed by his presence — the kind that could butcher a person so easily — but the hand guiding me was filled not with menace, but with nothing but goodwill.
"Well, expecting results from just that one encounter back then would be asking too much, I suppose. As it happens, my hideaway is nearby — follow me. I'll at least treat you to some tea."
"H-Huh? W-Wait..."
"No need to be modest. Perhaps it's my age, but when I see young people like yourself, I just can't pass you by. Now, let's hurry before the crowd gathers!"
No, hold on. This Vampire had just butchered a person moments ago — why was he so nonchalant about it?
I was lacking in experience too, yet being a virgin was fine for me but not for women...
Just what the hell was this Vampire's problem with virgins?