18. The Noona Who Measured My Size Exclaimed It's Huge

It wasn't like I'd lived my whole life without anyone ever seeing my body.

Health checkups, for one. And whenever you go to a pool or whatever, you end up standing around in nothing but your underwear, totally exposed.

But even then, you usually get a heads-up. Time to mentally brace yourself.

Ending up in my underwear with zero warning like this—even someone as adaptable as me couldn't help feeling tense.

Especially when the one seeing my body was an older woman.

"Alright, let's get started. Arms out."

"A-arms out?"

"Of course. I need your arm length, chest, and pelvis. Can't get accurate numbers if you stay scrunched up like that."

I mean, I wasn't naked. Basically what they do at a tailor's, right?

Resigning myself, I timidly raised my arms. Tasian immediately took hold of one, straightened it, and ran the measuring tape along its length.

"...Confirmed."

She committed the numbers to memory and moved on to another area.

Every time her calloused, artisan's hands brushed against me, my body flinched. Tasian didn't seem to think these little reactions were even worth noting. She just kept working.

"Confirmed. And here..."

"Uh, Miss Tasian."

Her unabashed hands soon moved from my arms to my chest, then made ready to descend further.

A weird excitement was steadily eating away at my composure. My voice came out strained.

"Is, is this really okay?"

"'Okay?' What are you talking about?"

"No, I mean, well..."

"Nothing you do bothers me, so don't worry. But stop talking unless it's urgent. You'll mess up my measurements."

Tasian remained entirely focused on the task at hand, paying me no personal attention whatsoever.

Because her attention was wholly on my body, she had no idea where my own eyes were wandering.

Specifically, to her chest, which grew more and more conspicuous the lower she crouched.

Yeah. Her chest.

Her generous breasts, which neither her apron nor her shirt could fully contain, were right there in my field of vision.

So vividly I could've sworn I'd never seen any from this close before in my life....

—Gulp.

Damn it, what the hell am I doing right now?

Sneaking glances at the chest of a woman who's just trying to do her job. Doesn't that make me a total creep?

"Let me get your back now."

"Huh? My back... Hngk!"

While I was wrestling with pointless guilt, Tasian closed the distance between us.

The moment that distance went from zero to full-on contact, my gaze shot away from her and latched onto the ceiling.

"W-wait. Miss Tasian. Th-this position is...!"

"Hold still."

Ignoring my reaction entirely, she wrapped her arms around me from the front and stretched the measuring tape across my back.

Her eyes were fixed only on the numbers. She paid no mind to anything else.

—Squish.

Even though her chest was pressing into me.

Even though she must have felt the firm sensation of her own flesh being compressed. There was no way she didn't.

"Ah, uh, aaaah...!"

Words failed me entirely. I just stared up at the ceiling, lips pinched shut, breathing ragged, shallow breaths.

The scent of a blacksmith—metal dust, cinders, and sweat soaked into skin that had absorbed the forge's heat—drifted into my nose and made me dizzy.

But even fixating on that wasn't enough to kill the thrill of this moment.

If anything, realizing that all of this was coming from her body, her scent, only made it worse. If I let my mind wander for even a second, I felt like I'd lose myself completely to it.

This is dangerous.

I mean it. Way more dangerous than any life-or-death situation I've been in inside a dungeon.

"Upper body's done... Arms down. I need to measure your lower half now."

Somehow, by some miracle, I'd endured it. Tasian peeled herself away from me.

I thought I could finally breathe. Then she crouched down. Reached out. My breath froze solid in my throat.

"U-uh, Miss Tasian? W-wait..."

"Hold still. Bottom half comes next."

Oh, for crying out loud. She wasn't done after just the upper body?

I tried to stall. Told myself I needed time to calm down. But she was already wrapping herself around my lower half and getting the tape measure into position.

Same as before, pressing her chest tight against me...

No. This is even worse.

Not only is it touching me right between the legs, but she's also wriggling up and down to supposedly "get an accurate measurement."

"Ah, ngh, ah...!"

"I told you to hold still. Your twitching makes it hard to measure."

Measure? Measure what, exactly?

—Thump. Thump.

The more aware I became, the harder my heart pounded. I could feel the blood surging, picking up speed.

The stimulation, already too much, was now drawing blood to one specific area. Dangerously so.

It's going to stand up. If I didn't do something, brain power or not, I was going to suffer an embarrassment far, far worse than just being seen in my underwear.

"Let's see... about this size... No, maybe this big...?"

"Nghk."

I bit my lip. Pain to divert the blood flow. I yanked my eyes up toward the ceiling and began mentally reciting the national anthem.

Donghae mulgwa Baekdusani mareugo daldorok... No, wait. That's wrong. How does the anthem even go?

Whatever. Just hold it, U-hyo-seong.

How many times in my life have I had to fight off getting kicked out of a room for letting desire take over?

Hell, even in the barracks, during two goddamn years of mandatory service, if you got caught fooling around with a buddy you'd be thrown out on your ass...

Ah. Thinking about that is actually making it shrink.

Man, nothing kills a boner like the military.

"...Alright. That should do it."

And so, for the first time in my entire life, I felt genuine gratitude for the fact that my country had conscription.

Her measuring complete, Tasian retracted the tape and stood up.

"Is, is it over?"

"Yeah. You can get dressed now."

"Pwah!"

The permission came.

But I couldn't immediately pick up my clothes and put them on. I had no choice but to squat down right there.

Somehow, by calling up memories of buzz-cut recruits, I'd managed to suppress the excitement. But the phantom sensation of that pillowy softness through my underwear still lingered. Still tried to stir me back up.

Dammit. I held on, but I think I got a little hard... She couldn't have noticed, right?

"So the size is about this much... No, maybe this much?"

Slowly succumbing to that anxiety, I snuck a glance over. Tasian was frowning at the empty space between her spread hands, muttering to herself.

It looked like she was trying to roughly gauge the size of something. Probably mulling over some ambiguous numbers from earlier.

"What... are you doing?"

"Figuring out the size for your groin guard."

"Ah. Groin... huh?"

I tried to process that. Her follow-up answer made me freeze and stare blankly.

Right then, still holding her hands in that measuring pose, she smoothly directed them toward my lower body.

Like she was estimating what lay beyond the underwear I still hadn't managed to pull back up.

"Well, I didn't use a tape on it, so I can't get the exact dimensions... But it's better to have a little breathing room than have it constrict your scrotum. This size should work."

"Ah, uh. Without a tape..."

She could estimate the size without directly measuring it. When the hell did she even get a look?

The only time she could have was when her body was pressed up against me... Good lord.

"What's the matter? Don't tell me you don't need one. One bad hit in a fight and those things can crack."

"N-no, I need it... Yes."

My heart plummeted in the wake of that shocking realization.

Before I knew it, my own hand was instinctively shielding my lap. But she had already moved on, her interest in me waning. She was prepping a cigarette to put in her mouth.

"If there are no other issues, I'll start working. Go into the storeroom and pick out a decent weapon. There are training dummies in the backyard—beat on them and try stuff out. Once the armor's done, I'll tailor a weapon for your budget that feels right in your hands."

"Oh, right. Got it, but..."

"...Something else bothering you?"

Seeing me trail off, Tasian paused with the flint just hovering over her cigarette.

She turned toward me, waiting for an answer. Quietly, I raised ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠the hand that had been shielding my lap and forced out a difficult question.

"Wh-where's the bathroom?"

No matter what else happened, I figured I'd better drain the pressure first and then figure out my next steps.

****

Plip plip.Fsssssh.

And then came the sage's time.

"...Shit."

After getting myself sorted out, I went to the backyard with weapons in hand, just as Tasian had instructed. I let out a deep sigh.

So let me get this straight. That lady intentionally rubbed herself against my junk?

I don't care how casual she is about that kind of thing. There's still a line between men and women.

Is she really that oblivious to how a woman looks to a man?

"...Still, she blew right past that way too easily."

Yeah. Accident or intention, clueless or not, the undeniable fact remained: two huge mounds of flesh had touched my precious parts.

The sensation was still so vivid, so intensely stimulating, that even now, after relieving myself and regaining my composure, I could feel the excitement threatening to surge back if I let my guard down for a single second.

Women's breasts sure are soft, I mused. And when they're big, they really do have weight. And albeit indirectly, they're strangely more stimulating than just touching them with your hands...

No, this was just a "demo version" in the end, wasn't it?

For people in an actual relationship, it wouldn't stop at accidental contact. They'd touch directly, and go way beyond that.

Which means that bastard Oh Deokhun also does that stuff with his girlfriend?

Now I'm pissed.

"Grahhhhh!! Die, Oh Deokhun!!"

Every weapon I'd brought with me soon met the training dummy at full force.

Heavy iron tools slammed into the straw figure with thunderous reports. But even ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠that catharsis wasn't enough—I grabbed weapon after weapon, venting my rage.

Swords, maces... none of them hit the spot.

A spear? Yeah, that pig-bastard's gut needs a good skewering.

"The spear seems to suit your hand pretty well."

I'd ended up holding nothing but a spear, enthusiastically stabbing the dummy over and over, when Tasian suddenly appeared and spoke up.

She stood there with her arms crossed, a cigarette between her lips, her usual deadpan aura completely intact.

And I'd just been throwing a tantrum like a little kid right in front of someone like her.

"A-already finished?"

"The basics are done. I'll leave it alone and the finishing process will take care of itself."

She uncrossed her arms and walked over to me, clearly not caring in the slightest about my awkward nervousness.

The dark eyes under her furrowed brow were fixed directly on me.

"Anyway. There's something I've been wanting to ask."

Still looking at me that way, she soon spoke.

"Your name—was it U-hyo-seong?"

"Ah, yes. You can just call me Hyosung."

"......."

Tasian stayed silent for a moment.

Then she took the cigarette from her lips, exhaled a puff of smoke, and murmured quietly.

"People from ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠other worlds are said to be full of variables, but... this is a first for me."

"...Huh?"

"Wait a sec."

She turned her back and went into the building.

I stood there waiting as instructed. Before long, she returned, pulled something out, and tossed it to me.

"Try swinging this around."

It was a spear.

But a lot about it was different from the ones I'd held until now.

The luster, for one, wasn't the typical gray of metal. It had a faint green gleam. And most of all, for something made of metal, it was incredibly light.

Lighter than wood, even. No, more like swinging a hollow pipe?

"Alright. I'll give it a try."

She must have had her reasons. Mustering ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠my trust, I swung the spear at the dummy in front of her.

—Whoom. Whoom!

The sound alone told me it was on a completely different level from what I'd been swinging before.

The tip didn't waver under its own weight and punched into the exact point I was aiming for.

Yeah. This is a good weapon.

Even a total combat amateur like me knew it instantly.

"...How do you find it?"

"Incredibly light. The edge bites so well I don't think I'd even need to throw my weight into the strikes."

"It's made of mithril. It had better be at least this good. The durability is excellent too. You won't need to maintain it bit by bit, unless you manage to destroy the thing entirely."

"Ah. Mithril... Huh?"

Hold on. What did she just say?

Mithril?

The thing in my hand right now is made of the ultimate material I've only ever dreamed about?

"But that's not the important part."

While I was still reeling in shock, Tasian smoothly plucked the spear out of my hands.

I blankly stared, wondering what could be more important than the mithril. She stood the shaft upright on the ground and then let go of it entirely.

If something's unbalanced, the shaft will naturally tip.

—Thunk.

The spear tipped toward me. She set it upright again and repeated the action.

—Thunk.

The tip pointed at me again.

If she wasn't doing it on purpose, it had to be a coincidence. But from the way she smirked, as if confirming something she'd suspected, it was clear she thought otherwise.

"Heh. Gotta say, when that guy sent you over, I wasn't expecting much... I never dreamed I'd end up with such a big fish."

Thick smoke trailed from her lips.

It scattered on the tail of her dry chuckle, and then I saw it—a glimmer entering her eyes as she looked at me.

"An ability that lets a contract activate the moment you just hold an Ego Weapon... Well, you live long enough and you really do see everything."

A glimmer of curiosity. Or maybe anticipation.

Aimed squarely at none other than me.