Chapter 16
Chapter 16
My relationship with the orphans—well, the five children who had now become knight apprentices—wasn’t too bad.
If anything, half a year later, you could say we’d actually become close.
Considering how our first meeting had started with conflict, it was a rather unexpected outcome.
Part of it was probably because I’d made an effort to get along with them as fellow members of Bellark.
< For orphans with neither backing nor connections, superiority in strength is more important than anything else. >
I wholeheartedly agreed with Sir Lekun’s words.
It was because I’d shown them through force that I was clearly above them, and that was what earned me their goodwill.
< Ah, that brat Bentley is an exception though. >
Even now, I still had no idea what that was supposed to mean.
< That boy wouldn’t have treated you harshly even without all that. >
What was the old man talking about?
Bentley was the first one to bare his teeth at me.
Saying he wouldn’t have acted hostile even if I’d been weak?
Did Sir Lekun perhaps have no eye for people?
I could still vividly remember the look in that kid’s eyes that day.
It practically screamed, “I’m definitely not letting this brat slide.”
Sir.
Kids that age don’t stare that obsessively unless it’s something like that.
Our very first meeting had started like a declaration of war, so how was he mistaking that for goodwill?
< Though that brat’s build is abnormal for his age. Just how did you, three years younger than him, even… >
I avoided Sir Lekun’s suspicious gaze.
I’d tried spinning some nonsense about him tripping over a rock on his own midway through the fight, but—
< Doesn’t seem like the kind of fool who’d trip over a rock. >
I take that back.
Seems he really does have a good eye for people.
Bentley had been overwhelmed by my pressure(?) back then, but for his age, the boy was genuinely capable.
Not just his strength either—his stride itself was different.
To put it simply, he had talent.
Because of that, Sir Lekun’s suspicion toward me only grew by the day.
At this point, I was definitely marked down as a person of interest.
Honestly, I’d have done the same.
A troublesome little brat suddenly displaying unexpected ability?
That would naturally draw attention.
Anyway, after instantly subduing Bentley, I somehow ended up becoming the true power among the orphan kids before I even realized it.
On the surface Bentley was still the leader, but I felt more like some hidden mastermind behind the scenes.
Though honestly, it all just seemed like children playing house to me…
< Sera, you’re a child too though? >
When I heard that from Eden, my mouth snapped shut.
In the past, I would’ve caused a huge fuss while rambling about how I’d been an adult in my previous life.
But after turning seven, I’d realized something that made me hesitate.
That realization was that my mind and instincts were being heavily influenced by this young body.
Mentally, I tried to act carefully, but my actual behavior often failed to match.
My awareness was awful too.
Sometimes I laughed without realizing it, or got angry and acted emotionally.
People say a healthy body houses a healthy mind, don’t they?
Then perhaps it was only natural that a young body would house a young mind.
Maybe it was obvious from the start.
I’d simply realized it late because I still carried the memories of my previous life.
And as if to prove that point—
Today too, my eyes drifted toward the doll Anna was holding.
Anna was the name of the red-haired girl among the knight apprentices.
The tiny little thing with rosy cheeks as her charm point.
She was also the kid I nicknamed Rice Cake or Hamster.
“……”
But seriously, they call them knight apprentices, and yet she gets dolls gifted by the lord? Her life sure is comfortable.
“……”
Ah, this isn’t good.
Why was I getting jealous of an eight-year-old little brat?
Especially when I actually liked Anna quite a lot.
Out of everyone, she was probably the one I’d grown closest to over the past six months.
Honestly, this childish body was the problem.
It kept producing pointless emotions.
“Um, Sera…”
While I was calming my complicated feelings, Eden spoke to me.
What now?
Why was he acting so cautious?
What, was he about to reveal some earth-shattering secret?
“…What?”
“Sera… do you want a doll too?”
Ah.
So that was what this was about.
A misunderstanding.
A truly massive misunderstanding.
It wasn’t that I desperately wanted one.
My eyes just kept drifting over there, that was all.
Like, “Wow, she’s really having fun with that.”
Or maybe, “If I’d actually been a little girl, maybe I would’ve played like that too.”
“……”
…Wait a second.
Little girl?
I reflexively looked into the mirror.
Glossy long hair, sharp eyes and nose, skin even paler than Anna’s…
“…As if.”
I shook my head at Eden’s question.
Impossible.
Absolutely impossible.
Sure, I’d become a girl, but I still had the pride of my previous life.
Even if this body had made my thinking a little childish—
I was still fundamentally different from those apprentice brats.
I was a proper adult with memories of a previous life—!
“Then why do you keep staring at Anna’s teddy bear?”
Why was I staring at it?
Hmm, why had I been doing that?
“Hmph. I was merely imagining a future battle against bears once I become a knight.”
Back in my previous life, I’d sometimes imagined fighting a bear barehanded.
That had to be it.
…It had to be.
“Hmm, maybe you’d prefer a different doll instead of a teddy bear?”
This idiot.
Was Eden even listening to me?
“Sera, you don’t have to force yourself to act mature. There’s nothing embarrassing about acting like a child.”
“…I’m not a child.”
And I wasn’t pretending to be mature.
I actually was an adult.
Well… an incomplete one, admittedly.
But definitely not a child.
“Then wouldn’t being honest be the more adult thing to do?”
“Hmph.”
As expected of a real child, he clearly understood nothing.
Humans are more honest the younger they are.
Which meant that me suppressing my desires was proof of maturity.
“Order me another wooden sword. This one’s so worn out it’s unusable now.”
“Ah, a wooden sword! Right, that’ll work!”
Hm?
That was unexpected.
Usually whenever I asked for a new wooden sword, Eden would make this pitiful expression.
He’d say cringe-worthy things like how seeing blisters on my pretty hands hurt his heart.
Still, this was a chance.
Normally I felt too guilty to even ask for one sword.
“Um… would it be okay if I asked for two instead of one?”
“Hehe, alright. Sera sure is greedy.”
“……”
By now, I’d grown somewhat used to Eden treating me like a child, so it didn’t really hurt my pride anymore.
One day I’d become a perfect adult and shock him with it.
Something like, “Wow, Sera became so mature!?”
Yeah.
I’d become such a cool adult that he’d react like that.
“…Kukukukuh! Eh!?”
What the hell?
That thought just now sounded incredibly childish.
“……”
No, wait.
Wouldn’t adults do things like this too?
Like revenge stories in martial arts novels where the protagonist gets back at those who looked down on them…
…Actually, maybe that’s different.
Anyway, getting two brand-new wooden swords for the first time was an unexpected gain.
I should try dual wielding to commemorate it.
It probably wouldn’t be efficient, but trying it out for experience’s sake couldn’t hurt.
“You can look forward to it, Sera.”
“Yeah.”
I truly was looking forward to it, so I simply nodded.
“Thank you.”
And I expressed my gratitude for agreeing to my unreasonable request.
From Eden’s perspective—someone who treated me like a younger sibling—it probably wasn’t exactly a welcome request.
“Ah…?”
“…What?”
But Eden reacted as though something unbelievable had happened.
His gray eyes widened in surprise.
“…This is the first time you’ve ever thanked me.”
“Was it?”
Embarrassed, I scratched my head.
Showing gratitude for something you’re grateful for.
Even children know how to do that.
I guess I’d realized it way too late.
“Haha, no, it’s okay. Thank you for thanking me?”
The lord of Bellark possessed an incredible talent.
The talent to make guilty people feel even more guilty.
He curved a huge smile with the eye he’d lost because of me.
And then I looked at that eye and got flooded with crushing guilt.
So damn guilty.
So damn, damn, damn… guilty…
“Yeah.”
I replied shortly.
If I said anything more, my feelings would probably just grow messier.
“Can you wait one week?”
“Alright.”
That wasn’t difficult.
For two precious wooden swords, I could wait even a month—
…Actually, no.
Thinking about the state of my current sword, maybe not.
And then, exactly one week later, just as Eden had promised—
“Sera, here you go.”
What Eden handed me was… rather than a wooden sword, it was something merely shaped like one.
“What’s this?”
“Hm? Didn’t you say you needed a wooden sword?”
“No, this is…”
It was far too soft to call it a wooden sword.
Instead of wood, it was packed tightly with cotton, with only the surface painted to resemble one…
“A wooden sword doll?”
I stared blankly into space for a moment, refusing reality itself.
What the hell was this?
I’d clearly asked for a wooden sword, so why was I being handed this fluffy lump?
“You like wooden swords, Sera, so I thought you’d like a doll shaped like one too.”
I asked a pretty skilled tailor to make it.
After saying that, Eden disappeared into his office, saying he had work to do.
And only several minutes later did I finally—
“W-What is this!?”
—cry out in despair.
I’d been deceived.
Completely and utterly deceived.
There could not possibly be a greater betrayal than this.
I trusted him.
I believed in him.
Give me back my emotions, you bastard—!
I was furious.
To vent my anger, I returned to my room and slammed the sword against the floor, but—
All I felt through my hands was endless softness.
How should I put it?
It lacked that satisfying smack unique to real wooden swords.
What the hell was I even supposed to do with this thing?
But somehow…
“Hm…”
It was still a gift from the lord.
As a member of his household, it was only proper to understand what kind of item it was.
I wanted to throw it away… but I couldn’t.
That would simply be wrong.
Still…
What would it feel like if I used two of them instead of one?
Didn’t I say before that I wanted to test dual wielding?
There was never anything wrong with gaining experience early.
I immediately put my thoughts into action.
Holding the wooden dolls—no, the twin swords—in both hands, I slammed them down toward the floor.
It felt like the softness had doubled.
But something was still lacking.
I felt like I could make it even softer—
No.
Even stronger.
Besides, it was my nature to pursue mastery in whatever I explored.
Swinging swords made of cotton felt surprisingly nice.
Most importantly, since their durability barely decreased, I could swing them far more often.
Rather than dismissing them as toys, maybe these were actually the true shortcut to becoming stronger.
Could it be—
Had Eden even taken that into consideration?
If so, perhaps I needed to reevaluate him.
Maybe nobles truly could perceive things commoners could not.
I hugged the two dolls—no, twin swords—to my chest and rolled around on the bed.
This wasn’t simply playing around.
It was proof of my obsession with swords.
Right.
Don’t they say those consumed by martial arts develop special feelings toward their weapons?
To warriors, a sword is practically a lover.
So hugging them and rolling around in bed was perfectly natural behavior for someone aspiring to walk the martial path.
Nothing to be embarrassed about.
Nothing childish at all.
“Sera—!”
“Eh!?”
Right in the middle of my manly and mature activity, an uninvited guest appeared.
The intruder was Anna, holding her teddy bear.
Unlike me, she was an actual child.
“What were you doing? I knocked, but you didn’t answer, so I just came in.”
“……”
“You’ve been holed up in your room since lunch. It’s already almost evening.”
What?
It was already evening?
Damn.
I’d gotten so absorbed in training that…
“…I was training.”
“Training?”
Anna’s eyes drifted toward the wooden swords.
Then she looked me up and down before exclaiming—
“Sera got dolls too!?”
She shoved her teddy bear toward me while shouting that we should play together.
As expected of a child, she’d made a huge misunderstanding.
I hadn’t been playing with dolls at all.
Still, playing with a little kid was part of being an adult too.
“…Fine then.”
Humoring her for a little while wouldn’t hurt.