Chapter 35
Chapter 35
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 35
Chapter Title: Lucky Long-Eared Aristocrat
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BOOOOM—!!
"It's here!"
A sound I'd heard once before.
The moment I heard the noise signaling the newbie's gift had arrived, I bolted out of my hideout.
Rustle—
"The smell...!"
As I peeled off the wrapping I'd never seen before, the food from the gallery photos appeared.
What was this smell?
I'd had some idea from the pictures, but actually smelling it was on another level.
Sweet scents, salty ones, and even smells I'd never encountered in my life...
"I-is this really okay to eat...?!"
Gulp.
Saliva was drooling down.
It had been over 400 years since I'd entered this place.
Without the newbie, I'd still be choking down that rock-hard bread.
I'd have eaten nothing but that bread for the rest of my life.
"Thank you, newbie—!!!"
I hoisted the burger high toward the sky and shouted to the newbie, who surely couldn't hear me.
"Long live burgers! Long live the newbie!"
Without the newbie, I definitely would have been bawling.
There might be people who'd mock me for crying at my age, but I didn't care. They could call me immature all they wanted.
Childish or whatever, I'd never met another soul my whole life.
I'd never seen or learned how adults act—what did age matter?
In the gallery, at least, I'd live however I damn well pleased.
Drip.
"Sssip...."
How delicious could this be?
Last time with the cola, I'd been blown away.
"Cola..."
I closed my eyes, recalling my first encounter with cola.
The shock when I realized newbies could actually send food to others.
Staring at the cola in wonder felt like yesterday.
'Though I was nervous as hell to actually drink it.'
That ominous black liquid, the gallery chatter about curses and such.
I was scared, but tired of bread and water, so I shut my eyes and went for it.
I couldn't drink much because it fizzed over everywhere... but man, it was incredible.
"That cola was originally mine...!!"
The newbie had tricked me.
If they'd told me upfront I'd won both, I wouldn't have posted those comments.
I was pissed, but decided to forgive them once.
Since they'd sent a burger this time! Next vote, I'd demand both for sure.
'Not the time for that.'
I had to eat before it got cold. My usual mealtime had been delayed anyway.
Because I'd tossed the bread aside the second the newbie returned.
"Itadakimasu!"
Grabbing the steaming burger, I took a massive bite.
"!!!"
What... what was this taste?
Ingredients I'd surely eaten before somewhere.
Bread, veggies, meat, cheese.
I must have had each one before entering this place.
Was it just combining them all that made it this good?
"So good...!!"
The most delicious food I'd ever tasted in my life.
Not in 400 years in the tower, nor in the thousand-plus years trapped under the world tree's roots.
"Sniff... to think such delicious food exists in this world..."
A bigger shock than the cola. Tears of emotion welled up.
From now on, I'd treat the newbie right.
All the hardship climbing the tower had been worth it.
"So good... insanely good..."
Now I had a reason to survive somehow.
I'd been ready to give up, but for the newbie's food, I'd keep going.
I'd thought I couldn't hold out much longer, but this gave me a bit more strength.
"..."
Plip, plop—
In my original world or this one.
A life where I'd never faced another person, never spoken face-to-face, but I had to live, right?
I didn't know what for, but I'd heard I had to.
Because I was chosen by the World Tree.
"It's fine. I'm used to it."
I wiped away the tears with the hand holding the burger, for some reason.
Just 400 years alone—better than the thousand-plus without even the gallery.
"Ow...!"
Sauce must have gotten in my eye—it stung like hell. I couldn't open them.
Still, it was too good; I should have been happy, but tears flowed.
Eyes burning, I squeezed them shut and kept devouring the burger.
This pain, this loneliness—I could endure more.
Chomp—
"Delish...!"
[★ Holy shit!! It's cursed!! I'm cursed ahhhhhh!!!!](Photo of an empty 1L cola PET bottle) Fuck, I chugged this in one go and puked my guts out
Looked ominous just staring at it, but everyone was praising it so I trusted and drank. Fuck
Feels like my throat to stomach is pierced with thorns Taste is weird too, from the second it hits my tongue it's fucking off
Never touch this shit again If I catch that newbie bastard I'll shove this down his throat and show him hell lol
Upvotes: 142 | Downvotes: 458
'Hmm... Just like Sage Gonik said before.'
Overwhelming dislikes.
Not everyone's first cola experience could be positive.
Some people just couldn't handle carbonation, obviously.
I wasn't particularly mad.
TP was a bit wasted, but this was bound to happen eventually.
'Should I do some aftercare...'
If wanted, I could send fruit juice or milk or whatever.
Just a question of whether it'd be worth ten times the tariff.
"Hmm."
New gallery user cola vs. Caring for the transient who rages even after receiving.
Everyone would love the former. The latter would piss everyone off except that guy.
'No need to step in when he's already getting wrecked...'
He was getting beaten for complaining after taking it, told not to line up if he was gonna bitch.
Honest review or not, he'd get hate—but the real issue was hundreds more hoping for gifts.
Especially, Long-Eared Aristocrat—who'd posted a novella praising burgers—was going one-man army on him.
Of course, he was catching strays too.
"Whatever."
With comments exploding, I steeled myself and posted one.
Asking what they wanted, any preferred drinks or fruits.
Ding! Ding! Ding!
Dozens of gallery users—minus the OP—freaked at my comment, piling on replies.
"Not again?!" "Please me instead!"
I smiled at their rage toward the OP amid sobs.
Coolly gifted the orange juice as requested.
Shrugging at the exploding replies, I wrote a new post.
[About the future...]Author: Star Wiki Here My thinking was short-sighted...
Not everyone can drink cola, but I was too eager to share what I like...
Sent something else with apologies. Hope you like it—post a proof pic if you can.
Also, no more cola giveaways from now on..
I share because I'm sorry eating alone, but honestly this ability is a burden... Saw the hell threat and felt down... Won't share for a while, sorry...
P.S. Don't hate the reviewer too much! I want everyone happy..!
"Perfect."
Aftercare and scapegoat in one.
I helped even those who cursed me, using my burdensome power.
Longer gaps or no cola? All that transient's fault.
P.S. sealed the targeting perfectly.
"Don't hate"—halfway to "kill him." Obvious to anyone.
'I'm the saint who gives despite abuse; he's the devil who takes and takes.'
Ding! Ding! Ding!
I smiled at the gallery grasping my intent.
That transient's post must be flooded now.
Dive for half a day, return. Let them think I'm hurt, cool the mood, then normalize with one cola drop.
Gallery panicking over permanent cola ban?
Transient regretting his post forever?
'I'm the victim here.'
I'd done nothing wrong.
Not my problem!
"Mmm~."
Standing, stretching, I slurped the remaining cola.
Wiped fry oil on the bag, headed to hideout.
'Time to shop.'
Gallery burns or not, I'd reward myself for last week's hell.
"Sssip...."
Lying on the straw mat, I sighed deeply.
Trouble. How to spend TP?
'One more cola later, say 10k TP...'
Roughly 1.2 million won for shopping.
These two for sure.
No matter what, I'd buy them.
'Practice sword and it's stupidly expensive.'
Wooden sword 1k TP, next jumps threefold.
Wanted to check the one after, but no price preview.
And the bed—
'Can't go back to no-bed life...!'
Couldn't forget that Tower of Wisdom bed feel.
This straw mess? No more sleeping here.
"...Buy first."
Checked others, but undecided.
Too many wants. Narrowed some, but no final call.
Gulp.
First-week me couldn't imagine this sum.
Even on Earth, 600k cash? Tough.
'Only cash anyway.'
Bought quick, no overthinking.
This way, check next sword price.
That sets skillbook—no, guidebook quality.
"Holy... fuck."
Not 1k, 3k, 5k.
Not even 1k, 3k, 9k.
Straight to 10k. 1 million for step 3? Pricing's off.
'Next one's what?'
50k? Scared 100k might pop. Like wooden sword break, loss unimaginable—hands shaking just thinking.
Swish.
This leaves skillbook... guidebook...
"Fuck it, calling 'em skillbooks."
Skills are techniques anyway.
'Normally, I'd go standard route.'
Checked prior basic form 1, now fitting 2 and 3.
6k total.
Affordable, low scam risk price-wise.
Pre-TP hoard, this was the plan.
"Hmm..."
Dilemma: Does wiki treat as parry-like 'skill' assist?
If wiki assists any skillbook.
If game-like stuff keeps happening.
Wondered if magic better.
If clickable skills, no body learning needed—magic god-tier.
If possible, ranged better for me.
Tower of Trials floor 20 firsthand: body-colliding scary as fuck.
"Haa..."
Pondering, realized delivery in 1 min.
'...Wait, bed delivered outside too?'
To communal center—drag and assemble?
"Nah."
Prior bread/water test: direct to hideout, placed as if always there.
Bed surely same—
Swish.
'...Here?'
Looked down at covering blanket.
If bed delivers, to where I'm lying?
High chance, since blankets auto-neaten here.
Ding—!
Star Bang alert hit; I peeked up.
"...Huh."
Stared blankly at black something floating midair.
That's the bed, right...?
Not gonna drop like this...?
Flash—!
'No fuck, why's parrying activating now—!!'