I Got Kidnapped!
They're kidnapping me!
Tap, tap.
Mmm, the bandit uncles' hideout is actually pretty livable.
Compared to our estate, it does smell a bit of sweat and mildew, but it's warmer and cozier than I expected.
Though I can't see any of it, since my eyes are closed!
"You little lunatic!!"
"Gwak!"
Smack!
"Kidnap the Duke of Erdian's daughter? Have you lost your mind?!"
"I'm innocent, boss! Rich nobles mean fat ransoms—wasn't that the whole point? Aaagh?!"
Crack!
Ouch. Even just hearing it hurts.
"You idiot! Even passing goblins know the head of House Erdian is a Sword Master!"
"So what does that matter?"
"You think a Sword Master is going to leave the kidnappers who took his daughter alone?!"
Wow, he knows his stuff. That's right—that's right, my daddy is super scary when he's angry.
"Ah... aah... AAAAAHHH!!!!"
"Understand now, you blockhead?! If you do, dump her somewhere out on the street before she wakes up. If she comes to like this..."
Oops, this is my moment.
Time to wake up!
"Haaam..."
"......"
The moment I sat up, everything went quiet. Aw, the comedy routine was just getting good.
"Hmm... who might you gentlemen be?"
"Ah, haha, sweet little missy, it's a surprise! A surprise!"
"A surprise?"
"Hahahaha! Yes, yes, a surprise!"
This boss uncle's face looks ugly from all the forced smiling.
"Hey, uncle!"
"Haha, what is it?"
"Can't you just... not smile?"
The boss uncle froze for a beat. Does he think his usual face would scare me? Because honestly, this is scarier.
"Hahahaha, well, this uncle was just born with a smiley face. Can't help it."
"Oh, so you're just plain ugly then."
"...Khh... krrk."
Beside him, one of the henchman uncles was fighting for his life to hold in a laugh.
"R-right, I suppose I do have a funny-looking face."
"Hmm."
"So how about you come home with the funny uncle, hm?"
"You're creepy. No thanks."
Finally, the henchman's suppressed laughter burst out like a geyser.
"Krk... KHAHAHA! Boss! I think the kid finds me the handsome one!"
"...Shut it."
"C'mon, little missy, how about coming along with big brother, then?"
Big brother?
This uncle clearly has no conscience.
"You're old. I don't like old people."
"..."
"Are there no other kids?"
He froze at just a few words. Maybe these bandit uncles are more fragile than they look.
Slurp.
The fruit juice they gave me tastes better than I expected. This tart one is kind of like pomegranate, maybe. You can chew the pulp and it leaves a bit of bitterness behind—but that's how you know it's organic!
The bandit uncles are whispering among themselves. I can hear every word, you dummies.
"...Boss, what do we do about her? She won't get up off that spot."
"Then persuade her properly! Kids are your specialty, aren't they?"
"Begging orphans is one thing, boss. Sweet-talking a noble's child is a whole different story."
Wait, have they been bullying orphans too? These uncles really are awful.
"Uncle."
"Anyway, somehow we'll... oh—oh, you called? Want to play with uncle?"
"I want to play with kids."
"...Ah, hahahaha, sorry, but there are only grown-ups at our place."
"Tch. Then give me another juice, please."
"S-sure, here you go."
Creepy uncle. But maybe he's kinder than he looks.
"...Boss, don't we still have those kids?"
"What nonsense is that? Since when does our organization keep brats around?"
"No, I mean the ones we brought in last time..."
"Are you insane?! You want us to shut down our whole operation?!"
Hmm, never mind then. He's a bad uncle after all. Human trafficking? Unforgivable.
"What if we promise her we'll let her go once she's sweet-talked one innocent kid into playing with her for a while? Think she'd buy it?"
"......"
"Left like this, that princess or whoever she is will just sit there stubbornly all day. Let me handle the sweet-talking."
"...Can I trust you with this?"
"Don't worry—buttering up and threatening kids is my specialty, isn't it?"
Slurp.
Mm, grape juice this time. Also delicious. If they'd gone into the juice business they'd have made a fortune—why bother with illegal stuff like this?
"Haha, little missy? I have good news for you!"
"What is it?"
"Turns out there's a kid around your age visiting our hideout right now."
"Wow, really?"
"That's right! So let's have fun, and then you can go home, all right?"
"Yes sir!"
And so, as I sat there sipping my grape juice, a girl appeared before me.
Shove.
The uncle pushed the girl forward by the back. She crept over trembling like a leaf, and only barely managed a greeting.
"H-hello?"
Hmm... her clothes are clean, but there's a wound near her neck. Poor thing. The uncles must have hit her.
"Hi! What's your name?"
"Vi... Viola."
"I'm Eliana!"
I walked straight up to her and gently touched her neck.
"You're hurt? That must hurt..."
"N-no, it's fine! I just fell out of bed, that's all...!"
"Stay still. I'll heal it for you."
Fwoooosh.
I drew up my mana and cast a healing spell, and the scraped wounds sealed over in an instant.
Viola and all the bandits just stared, dumbfounded.
"Hehe, all done! Doesn't hurt anymore, right?"
"Wh... yeah. Thank you."
"Are there other kids around?"
Grip.
The conscienceless bandit uncle grabbed my shoulder.
"Little missy. Why do you ask?"
"I want to play Mafia!"
"...Mafia what?"
"The Mafia game! You don't know it?"
Everyone just stood there blankly, Viola included. Ugh, a crowd of hopeless fossils, every one of them!
"So the Mafia game is where there's a mafia and some citizens, and..."
And so I earnestly explained the whole Mafia game to them.
"...I see. So it's murder-themed roleplay."
Oh wow, creepy uncle got it right away. Maybe he's smarter than he looks?
"That's right! And we need lots of people for it."
"...If we play exactly one round, you'll go home quietly?"
"Yes sir!"
The uncle mulled it over for a moment, then nodded.
"Bring them all here."
"B-boss?"
More whispering in my ear, gentlemen.
"...Is this wise? What if one of them suddenly bursts into tears?"
"She'll leave if we just humor this game of hers. Sweet-talk the rest of the kids and get them over here."
"...Yes, sir."
And with that, the henchman uncle dashed off at full speed.
Tremble, tremble...
Oh dear. Next to me, Viola's hand was shaking like crazy.
Hmm... I'd love to give her a marten to cuddle, but that's not exactly an option. I'll just have to hold her hand nice and tight instead~
"...Huh... huh?"
"Just bear with it a little."
Before long, the door opened and six children filed in. The room had seemed pretty spacious, but now it was packed.
"Wooooow~ so many people!"
"Right then, little missy, let's try this Mafia game of yours."
"Okay! I'll be the moderator, and... oh right, you uncles have to play too!"
"Yes, yes, understood."
I gave the rules one more quick explanation. Some of the kids didn't seem to get it, but no matter.
That's what learning games is all about—you learn by getting played!
I stood in the middle, everyone gathered around me with their heads bowed. Hmm... this makes it feel like I'm receiving some kind of blessing. Nice.
"Now, let's choose the Mafia~ Whoever gets their head touched is Mafia!"
Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap.
Hm? Why so many taps, you ask? Well, you see...
"It is now nighttime~ Mafias, raise your heads."
The children lifted their heads one by one and opened their eyes. Baffled little faces, every one of them.
In the middle of the circle was a spatial-magic portal I had made.
Shh.
I raised a finger to my lips and pointed at the portal. Soon the children caught on to my plan and began inching toward it, slow and silent.
Creep, creep.
"No, no! I said don't move—just point with your finger!"
I stamped and scuffed my feet loudly so the bandit uncles wouldn't notice anything.
One child at a time, whoosh!
"You're not Mafia! Why are your eyes open?!"
With a suitable amount of chaos thrown in, the bandit uncles didn't sense a thing.
"Khkh, little missy, it seems your game has already fallen apart?"
"Aw, I guess so..."
The real surprise? The bandit uncles actually had their eyes closed the whole time, honest as could be. Are they actual idiots?
"No way little brats could grasp such a sophisticated game in one go."
"That's not it! Everyone's playing for the first time, so if we just do one more round..."
"You haven't forgotten our agreement. One round."
"...Hiiing. Fiiine, a promise is a promise, I guess."
Are these people genuinely idiots? Anyway, once all the children had slipped into the portal, I shattered the crystal Daddy had given me.
CRACK!
"...What was that sound just now?"
Wow, they really did get suspicious at that one. Ah, the henchman's eyes are already open.
"B-Boss!! Wake up, quickly!!"
"...What is it."
"The kids! Every last one of them has vanished!"
"What?!"
The boss uncle's eyes snapped open too. Yep. Saw that coming.
Time for me to go through the portal as well.
"Thanks for the juice, uncles~!"
"Boss! Boss! The thing on the floor—that's an emergency-summons magic tool, isn't it?!"
"D-don't tell me... that brat—!"
"We're done for, aren't we?! The Sword Master...!"
"You fool, what are you doing?! Grab the money and RUN!!"
And with that, I slipped through the portal, whoosh.
Hmm~ Grown-up matters should be handled by grown-ups, after all.
"Sh-she's back!"
"Are we safe now?!"
"Waaaaah... I really thought I was going to die."
Aww, they were all waiting for me. Hehe, did they all worry about me instead of running off first? What good kids!
"Yep! And now my daddy is going to handle the rest!"
"Your daddy...?"
"Mm-hm... my daddy is suuuper strong!"
KWA-BOOOM!!!
Barely had the words left my mouth when a colossal explosion rang out from the direction of the bandits' hideout.
Eek! Daddy is scary when he's angry—I'd better get everyone out of here, fast.
"All right, everyone, time to go home!"
"...Okay."
And so I headed home together with the children.
Word has it that, from that day on, a game called Mafia became all the rage among the children.
Something about the mafia running away and the citizens chasing after them? Sounds off, but hey—who cares.
The kids are all safe, and the bandit uncles got what was coming to them. Happy ending, all around. Yep, yep.
"Eliana."
"Ah."
Oh no. I'd completely forgotten to explain myself to my parents...
"You are grounded for one week."
"WHAT?! No! Daddy, please...!"
"No negotiations. That is all."
Daddy was clearly furious; without listening to another word, he spun on his heel and strode away.
Ah.
I'm doomed.
So this is what they call a bad ending.