Fruit Slime Brain Freeze
When people encounter a situation that surpasses human cognition, they give up thinking.
"…If my eyes aren't playing tricks on me, that's a slime…."
It was hanging there like fruit… but no matter how many times I looked, that shape was unmistakable.
"…That's what it looks like to me too."
"Do slimes normally grow from the seeds Granite Fist planted?"
I knew it made no sense, but since this was another world, I had to ask just in case.
"…As if. It's supposed to be ordinary sweet fruit… perfect for brewing into booze…."
"Then what the hell is that…."
I'd wondered what might happen if you planted regular crops in my dungeon.
I'd considered various possibilities. Maybe the soil was bad and nothing grew at all. Or the tree grew but bore no fruit. Or it sprouted a bit then withered. Or, conversely, it thrived perfectly under all conditions.
But this blew past every scenario I'd imagined.
From the info I'd gathered so far, plants in my dungeon world felt more like sculptures than living things. They didn't bear fruit or grow; they just existed as background set pieces.
Plus, aside from monsters, no other lifeforms existed… so it wasn't a proper ecosystem.
No bugs for pollination, and without a natural cycle, I wasn't even sure if the soil got proper nutrients.
So what happens if you grow 'real' plants from outside in that bizarre environment?
Obviously, even I had no idea.
Until just now, that is….
I'd half-thought that since it's a fantasy world, maybe—just maybe!!—it'd grow normally despite being absurd!!! But nope, that hope got shattered hilariously.
"Hah… I swear on my life, I didn't do a damn thing."
Maybe he sensed my disbelief through the mask? Granite Fist didn't seem too suspicious anyway.
"…Yeah, you look like you didn't. So what do we do about that?"
"Hmm… How about we catch one first? Aren't you kinda curious?"
Slimes growing on trees… Looking closer, something seems to be inside that jelly body. What's that? Fruit maybe?
"Yeah, whatever—we gotta check it out first."
Granite Fist formed hand seals and launched a wind blade, slicing off the branch with the slime.
Shwick—
'Whoa, fuck, this still feels so damn awkward….'
Dwarf magic never stops feeling off no matter how many times I see it.
Splorch—
The slime hit the ground and started wriggling.
"…It definitely looks like a slime. But… something's visible inside? A variant inner core?"
"Let's find out!!"
Granite Fist charged right in and swung his hammer at the slime.
The slime took a direct hit and couldn't withstand the force—its jelly body exploded.
Oof….
Thankfully, Granite Fist controlled it well; the contents were intact.
"Gah…!! This is!!"
"What?! What is it?!"
What now? Another variable?
I rushed over to the slime's shattered remains.
"This ain't the fruit I planted?"
At the center of what used to be the slime, there was a red, round fruit.
"What the—?!"
I couldn't hide my shock at that familiar shape.
"What's wrong?"
If my guess was right, this was….
"This!! This is a goddamn apple from Earth!!"
Assuming this world doesn't have apples!
But why the hell is an apple growing here?!
"Oh…? So why'd an apple grow?"
"How should I know…?"
"You really know nothing about your own dungeon…."
I had nothing to say to that.
I check and research every single entry in my dungeon status window every day to see if anything new popped up, but this place keeps pulling shit that defies common sense.
And today's twist? No warning signs at all. Couldn't pinpoint the cause, I guess?
I mean, I don't fully get why sugar comes from inner cores either, but at least that's clearly from points I invested.
'Something feels off….'
The dungeon seems to be slipping out of my control… a chilling sensation….
Hmm… Or am I overthinking it?
Maybe it's just the plants adapting to the dungeon.
Or the dungeon mutating the plants.
My dungeon doesn't seem equipped for non-monster lifeforms anyway.
'So what do we call these? Plant-type monsters? Monster plants?'
As I pondered, Granite Fist spoke up.
"So… Dungeon Master. What do we do with that?"
He was pointing at the red apple nestled in the jelly shards.
I carefully picked it up.
Sniff sniff… "Smells… definitely like an apple…."
…Safe to eat? Kinda risky?
As I turned it over, debating, Granite Fist cautiously spoke.
"…Mind if I try that fruit? The aroma is killer—bet it'd make some fine booze…."
"You're gonna eat it? We don't even know what it is yet…?"
What if it's poisonous despite appearances? Or has harmful stuff inside?
"You know what they say? All safety rules are written in blood…."
Wait, that's not quite right?
"There are things in this world you can only eat once—and this apple might be one."
There we go.
But despite my warnings, Granite Fist wouldn't back down.
"No worries? Dwarves stake our lives on booze. If this fruit has potential for liquor, I'll risk it all."
Granite Fist chomped into the apple in one go.
Crunch—
"…Wait, couldn't we just buy a Magic Tower test kit to check for poison?"
Explorer gear includes toxin detection kits.
Mostly for dungeon water sources, but usable on anything edible.
Too late now, though. I watched his apple-munching show with bated breath.
Crunch— crunch—
"…How is it?"
Crunch— crunch— crunch—
"Hey?"
Crunch— crunch— crunch— crunch—
"What the fuck, how is it?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?"
"Urk—"
Granite Fist finally polished off the apple.
"Dude… what if it was poisoned? Why eat the whole thing?!"
Not instant poison maybe, but eating it all without precautions?
"Kahahaha—! Haven't had fresh fruit in ages—couldn't stop!! Apple, right? Amazing stuff! That tartness would make killer cider. What about it? Your world has apple booze, yeah?"
"Hah… You seem fine for now… And apple cider… I don't know much about booze, but I think the alcohol content's pretty low, so not sure if you'll like it…."
He looked a bit disappointed but still thrilled at the prospect of booze.
"Anyway, what now?"
"…Good question? It's all so sudden, I don't know yet. Gotta collect more data first—can you help?"
Need to analyze these slime trees properly.
"Sure, I've been ordered to work for you from the start. Whatever you want."
"Thanks. Let's harvest all these slimes then?"
So much to figure out.
Granite Fist used magic again to drop the fruit slimes, smashing them in seconds.
Repeating that revealed the first piece of info.
"…What fruit is this one?"
"Ah—that's a peach."
"…And this?"
"Ah—that's a mango."
"…This?"
"Orange… no, hallabong?"
Yep.
This insane slime tree bore random fruit.
Earth fruit only!!
"…Cool, but something's weird."
Not knowing the cause feels super off.
But I pushed aside the unease and kept gathering data.
The second revelation:
"…Seeds sprout fast…."
A sprout grew in just 30 minutes after planting.
"Yeah… But planting more trees won't let slime numbers grow infinitely."
Of course, more trees mean more slimes initially—until max population.
I vaguely realized: those tree slimes were affected by my dungeon's monster cost limits.
'Hmm… And regen speed's slow too.'
A new slime was forming on the first tree we'd cleared, but snail-paced.
Much slower than mid-lower layer monster respawns.
At this rate… over 10 hours?
My dungeon's respawn rate now handles regular slimes in under 10 seconds.
Fruit slime cost must be way higher than I thought.
And the final, third piece:
"Hmm… Dungeon Master… this slime jelly? Tastier than expected?"
Yep. Fruit slime jelly was delicious. Flavor varied wildly by core fruit.
Well, more like 'aroma' than actual taste.
"…Strictly speaking, the taste is just like regular slime jelly. The fruit scent just tricks your brain into thinking it's flavored."
A brain illusion. I knew from losing my taste for a month post-COVID.
And one more certainty:
"…Inner core prices are gonna tank hard…."
We'd run all feasible tests and farmed most of the fruit slimes.
Granite Fist and I split the loot fruits 50/50.
"Hmm… Too much for me—take more, Granite Fist. You need a lot for brewing, right?"
Massive haul. Like five 3kg tangerine crates… Won't finish before spoiling even taking home.
Plus, this orchard was meant for him anyway.
"Oh! Suits me fine!"
"And you know: this absolutely cannot leak outside?"
Haven't decided orchard's fate yet. Too sudden, too much else to handle first—headache city.
"Obviously! Back to park work tomorrow."
Granite Fist patted his bulging backpack contentedly.
Joodak's geas prevents harm anyway.
"Cool, good work today."
Ticket limit hit 2 hours; we returned to our spaces.
"Phew…."
Exhausted—bedtime for real.
Orchard… gotta ask Joodak tomorrow….
* * *
Next day
I told Joodak about the orchard.
It's real though….