Chapter 258
Chapter 258
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 258
Chapter Title: A Hundred Legs, Ten Thousand Poisons (8)
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“……So, you bought this?”
“Yes!!”
What El had picked out for dinner was a hefty pork pie, mashed potatoes, black rye bread, and a pea salad. No complaints about the menu itself. They were all tasty foods if prepared right. But what El had brought back…… Something told me this wasn’t going to be good.
“There weren’t many places open.”
Lloyd added it like an excuse. Fair enough. With the pass blocked, supplies from the interior couldn’t flow in smoothly. So shops had to close……
But still……
“Hmm…….”
……Wasn’t this a bit much?
The pork pie looked old at first glance. Pork pies were basically a kind of preserved meat dish, close to ‘canned goods,’ so they didn’t spoil easily. But of course, the ‘taste’ suffered. When I cut it in half, the ground pork filling inside and the gelatinous stock packed between showed up. To be honest, it was anything but appetizing. I hadn’t even tasted it, but the chill of congealed fat made me shiver. Maybe if I warmed it up? But heating it would melt the stock, turning the already soggy pie into a mushy mess…… Unless I’d starved for days or was blackout drunk, no way I wanted this after a fresh bath.
And it wasn’t just that.
The salt-pickled peas were mushy too, shells peeling off, mashed to the point where even empty flattery couldn’t call them ‘tasty.’ Just going to taste like salt. I poked one lightly with a fork and shook my head. Not peas—cream. Cream. Couldn’t ruin my appetite on this.
So that left the potatoes and rye bread……
The potatoes seemed stored well enough. Just boiled and mashed—nothing to nitpick. A little tweaking, and they’d be edible. The rye bread…… A bit hard-looking, but not bad. Soaked in butter and toasted golden, it’d be fine.
-Nom……
Legion scooped a bit from the cut-open pork pie. And immediately spat it out with a *ptoo!*
“Blech! Blech! Uwaaa!”
Legion pawed at the pie like he was burying filth, then scampered up my arm to my shoulder under El’s sharp glare.
“Legion. That’s rude.”
I said sternly, but honestly, I felt the same. Truth be told, El had gone too far…… No way she picked it just ‘cause it was big, right……? I turned away from the pork pie. Hey, some days are like this…… Can’t eat gourmet every day. Back when I started as a merc, I scarfed down mystery stew without batting an eye!
‘That’s why I don’t want subpar food now……’
I’d said it before, but in this pseudo-medieval world, food joy was the only thing keeping you sane. Gluttony! It was the sole upside of pseudo-medieval land.
“……Since El bought it, shall we at least try a piece each?”
“I’m good.”
Cowardly, Callisto stepped back firmly. Looked like he was eyeing the fake Rembe cookies and tree fruits I’d made before.
“…….”
“…….”
Callisto was out. That left me and Lloyd. We exchanged glances.
“…….”
“…….”
Lloyd cut a piece of pork pie first and slid it onto his plate. Legion whispered ‘blech’ in my ear. *Ahem*. I cleared my throat and stood.
“Eat first.”
“What about Master?”
“There was definitely cheese somewhere…….”
Ignoring El, I rummaged in my subspace ring. Luckily, a half-wheel of cheese popped out just as I remembered.
I pulled out butter and pre-made grape jam too—cheese alone wasn’t enough, so a bag of roasted peanuts from the Dimensional Garden. Coconut oil and honey as well.
Simple ingredients, but they’d brighten this gloomy table for sure.
First, I grabbed my trusty little cast-iron pan. Set Legion on the table and asked him to breathe a small flame. Instant portable burner. Legion’s breath was pure and hot—even candle-sized, the pan heated right up.
I poured peanuts onto the pan and stir-fried. Could make peanut butter raw, but roasting doubled the nuttiness, so worth it.
While they cooled, I sliced the half-moon cheese, melted it gently on the pan, then mixed in mashed potatoes, butter, and salt. Stirred till the cheese fully melted and fused with the potatoes, stretching like taffy into thick, creamy goodness. The bottom crisped slightly, wafting nutty aroma.
“……That’s cheese potato!”
“Right!”
“Wow!”
“……Well, no fresh cream, but close enough.”
El peeked into the pan, licking her lips. Pork pie forgotten in her head.
Once cheese potatoes were done, I grilled pre-made sausages golden. Cheese, potatoes—success already. Add sausage? Game over.
Peanuts’ turn. El pounded cooled ones in a stone mortar with coconut oil and honey. Crushed to creamy peanut butter with texture intact……
-Sizzle……
Butter-smeared pan, toasted hard rye slices lightly. Surface softened, soaking up butter. Slather fresh peanut butter on one, thick grape jam—like jelly—on the other. *Snap!* Together……
“Wowww…….”
「Wowww…….」
El and Legion gaped at the appetizing peanut butter and grape jam sandwich.
Nutty-rich peanut butter met sweet-chewy grape jam. Simple, surefire bliss. Brain-zapping sugar rush.
-Crunch!
White bread would’ve been better, but this worked. Buttered toast made it extra crisp. I halved the square sandwich, gave pieces to Legion and El. El wolfed hers; Legion chomped his body-sized one.
Meanwhile, I plated warm cheese potatoes and sausages. Whew. Yeah. This was humble yet tasty.
Lloyd and I clinked cider glasses and dug in.
Soft, salty, that unique fluffy chew—cheese potatoes slid down effortlessly. Moussy, chewy, somewhere in between…… A bit plain? Pile on sausage like sauce……
“Mmm…….”
Heaven. Sausage burst *pop*, cheese potato mingled with juices, slipped down smooth. Perfect with crisp-sweet cider.
“Ah, good.”
Embarrassing to compare to cold pork pie. Felt like instant meal, but simple joys rule.
Devoured cheese potatoes and sausages, then halved a sandwich with Lloyd. Legion begged after his, so I split mine—ended up with a quarter. Fresh peanut butter’s nutty-salt met jam’s chewy-sweet—like junk food. Kid-pleaser, yeah? Explains El and Legion’s love. Still kids.
Sweet snack down……
“……That pork pie’s the issue.”
Not tasty, but tossing edible food? Against my principles. But I didn’t want it…… As I pondered, El licked jam and crumbs off her fingers.
“Master, there were strays in the market alley. Give it to them?”
“……Oh, great idea.”
Pass blockage tanked the market—strays starving too. Most lived on kindness.
“Yeah. Good call, El.”
“Hehe, no biggie.”
“Clean up, then. I’ll head to the alley.”
“Alone okay?”
“Fine. Most fishers know me.”
Bringing Isla might scare them off. Legion was enough. I straightened up, grabbed the pork pie, and headed out.
“I’ll be back.”