Remaining Time
Even as she put on a brave face before death itself, this woman had surely endured countless sleepless nights, and from the way she spoke now, she did not seem to have fully overcome that pain. I was still deciding how best to steer the conversation when her voice reached me again.
"When I first heard the news, I spent almost a month like a wreck. I was drowning myself in liquor and pills for longer and longer stretches when an old woman came into my shop. She looked so warm and motherly that I found myself telling her I had a terminal illness before I even realized it. She said she'd lost her husband not long before, and little by little we began to talk. After a few of those visits, we'd grown close enough to go out to dinner together."
Juri gazed toward the distant mountains, a faint smile on her lips as if she were remembering that day.
"One evening over a meal, I asked her how she'd managed to get through such a hard time. She told me that when the heart has nowhere left to go, the power of faith is the greatest help of all—and she told me about the religion that had done so much for her."
I caught the drift at once and nodded.
"Cheonsiman-gyo."
"That's right. At first I wasn't interested—it wasn't famous, and I'd never even heard of it. But she practically dragged me to a gathering. And after I heard Jisin's words that first day, I cried all night. But those tears were different. Before, when I cried, the wounds only cut deeper. That night I cried myself to sleep, and when I woke in the morning I felt so light and clear."
Stories like this no longer stirred me. Such testimonies had come to feel almost natural—almost expected.
"After that I wanted to go again, and I started attending Cheonsiman-gyo's gatherings often. I could feel my heart growing firm enough that I could finally stand and face my own death without flinching."
I smiled and rose from my seat.
"I'm starting to feel the drinks a little. Want to walk and talk?"
Juri looked as if she suspected I wasn't all that interested in her story, but she stood and followed me. Outside the street stall she turned to me.
"Would you like to come to my place? I'd like to offer you a proper drink."
I smiled and nodded. We took a taxi to Juri's shop. It was tucked into the basement of a building one block off Gangnam's main thoroughfare—an unmistakably high-end establishment, dark and quiet inside. There weren't many customers left, and something about the air already felt like closing time. I checked my watch: already one in the morning. When had it gotten so late?
"It's about time for the last of the guests to head home."
Just as she said, after about half an hour at the bar the remaining customers filed out, and the two women working the floor left as well. Juri sat beside me, brought out a bottle of liquor I'd never seen before, and poured.
"This is… a very rare one."
It was a single malt with an extraordinary aroma—bitterly strong, yet the fragrance wrapped around everything. I felt better already. We talked again, smiling lightly. The alcohol seemed to be catching up with Juri as well; she propped her arm on the bar, tilted her head, and looked at me.
"Jisin, you're such a strange man. When I first saw you I thought you were just ordinary. But after hearing your words, after actually sitting with you alone… I realized you're not someone people can approach so easily. Being able to spend time with you like this feels like my final blessing."
I took her hand. It was ice cold.
"All of us humans live finite lives. While we're alive, we do our best, feel small hopes, and taste small triumphs. The only real difference is how much time each of us is given. So if you live the time you have left without regret, it won't be so hard. You might even look back and think it was a happier life than someone who lived past a hundred."
A single tear slipped from the eyes that had been fixed on me. I lifted my hand and wiped it away. Juri simply sat still.
"I've lived so selfishly. And I've done so many terrible things."
I smiled.
"Then start reflecting and live anew from this moment on. Your time isn't over yet."
Juri nodded.
"Do you know why I asked to see you alone? Did Master Go Myeongsuk tell you?"
I shook my head.
"The old woman who brought me to Cheonsiman-gyo… after her husband passed, she donated everything she owned to the sect. She said once she'd let go of every worldly desire, her heart felt so light. Everything was fine, she said—except for one thing that still troubled her."
I smiled.
"What was it?"
"She had no children, so she donated all her real estate—including the ancestral mountain land—to Cheonsiman-gyo. And now a new expressway is planned right through that land. Master Go said that once the development goes through, Cheonsiman-gyo will return the land as public property so every resident nearby can benefit from public works."
I nodded, a smile at the corner of my mouth. Juri continued, her eyes clearer than before.
"But someone is putting pressure on us—trying to seize that land along with other Cheonsiman-gyo properties. The old woman knows. She's afraid her last hope will end as nothing more than a feast for powerful men's money."
Juri paused, then spoke with renewed force in her gaze.
"I know about that case."
I let surprise show on my face.
"You know about it?"
She nodded.
"Yes. The man who protects me… his real business is real estate. He buys properties coming out of the asset corporation and flips them for a high price. That's what he does. I happened to overhear him talking with someone else and learned a project like that was already in motion."
Her face turned sorrowful again.
"It breaks my heart. The thought that her final hope could be destroyed by that man's hands—it hurts so much."
I moved the hand I'd been holding onto her thigh, resting it there as I spoke.
"It's our sect's affair, but even I didn't know the details."
Juri nodded as if that were only natural, then looked up at me with strength in her eyes once more.
"The real reason I wanted a private audience with you was to tell you this. I don't know how much help I can be, but I wanted to put my strength into stopping that man. And I wanted to grant that old woman's last wish before I leave this world in peace. But to talk about any of this, I have to face my past, and every time I try…"
I nodded.
"I know. Facing your true heart is never easy for anyone. But you found the courage. You've already crossed another wall."
"I don't know how much something like this can wash away the sins of my past. I can't stop the wars happening around the world. I can't reunify North and South…"
I laughed openly.
"The time left is short… Just like me, she has so little time remaining. I want to help grant her wish, and spend my own last days happily as I finish things out."
I nodded, then leaned in closer.
"Time is given equally to everyone—but how we use it can make the time each person feels completely different. Looked at another way, your one year can feel far richer and more worthwhile than the empty hundred years of someone who never truly lives."
Tears welled in Juri's eyes again. And as she looked at me, a smile rose to her lips.
"Jisin… if I were only ten years younger, I'd tell you that since you've already taken my heart, you should take my body as well…"
I smiled.
"What does ten years have to do with it?"
"There are so many young, beautiful Jiseonnyeo around you…"
I brought my face very close to hers and spoke half under my breath.
"They are them, and you are you. I don't think a woman's age means anything at all."
I brushed a light kiss against her mouth. Her lips parted slightly. Then I kissed her properly. For a moment we stayed that way; when our mouths finally separated, Juri looked at me and said,
"I'll entrust the time I have left to Cheonsiman-gyo and to you, Jisin. And I'll do everything I can."