Union
Yunchae slowly raised her arms. The conical hat still hid her face, but as the upper half of her hanbok lifted, more of the underside of her breasts came into view. They were larger and firmer than I had expected.
"Will you accept me?"
In my heart there was nothing left to deliberate. When a woman I liked this much was asking me to take her in, there was no reason to refuse. And yet something about the situation felt wrong—sordid, almost. It could have been some grotesque occult rite, or the opening move of an elaborate scam. If it was a scam, what was she after? I was a broke provincial student living alone, with neither money nor power. What could anyone possibly want to swindle from me? My greatest asset was the deposit on my one-room flat, and half of that had already been eaten away in lieu of rent… I couldn't answer. Not out of rejection so much as a desire to take the measure of things first. That only made Yunchae press harder, her voice urgent.
"You… don't want to? You don't want me?"
I still said nothing, standing where I was and simply watching the soft outline of her body. Now she could no longer hide her dismay.
"N-no… You have to accept me. You have to."
The more flustered she became, the calmer I felt. I spoke quietly.
"What happens if I don't?"
It seemed to be a question she had never imagined anyone would ask.
"Huh? Then… well…"
To Yunchae, who couldn't form a proper answer, I said,
"I don't have a philanthropic bone in my body. And I don't care for weird rituals like this. I don't believe in them either. I don't know what you want from me by doing all this, but there's nothing on me to squeeze, nothing to take. I'm broke."
Whatever authority she had tried to project at the start had vanished; she looked thoroughly rattled and desperate. She shifted into trying to persuade me instead.
"Squeeze? I have no intention of that at all. It's just that we absolutely have to be together so that people…"
I raised my hand. It pained me, but I decided I had to stop here.
"I liked you purely, sunbae. Just being called here by you was enough to make me happy. But I'm a little disappointed. I wish you'd treated me with even a little sincerity… I'm going home."
I turned away. A heavy thud sounded across the living-room floor. Yunchae ran after me and seized my arm.
"You can't leave like this. Midnight tonight is the only chance. If we miss this opportunity…"
I looked back. Through the gap in the conical hat I could see the face of the sunbae I liked. The easy composure she had worn that afternoon was gone; she looked desperate and shaken. Beads of sweat stood out on her skin.
"What happens if we miss it?"
Yunchae looked at me and sighed.
"I'll have to live as an ordinary mudang. Taking offerings from ajummas and telling them whether their husbands are cheating, whether their sons will get into college, whether their sons-in-law's businesses will prosper… spending my whole life on that kind of talk. I hate that life to death. You're the only one who can save me from that fate."
I turned around slowly. The hand that had been gripping my arm slipped free.
"You're trying to dump your Jusin onto me, aren't you?"
Yunchae shook her head.
"Then why did you avoid me until now?"
She lowered her head. Her pretty face vanished under the hat again.
"I got into university on my own strength. I never wanted to be jerked around by a Jusin again. I wanted to live my life as I pleased. That's why I refused."
"Not because that person happened to be me? Not because I wasn't your type?"
Yunchae lifted her head again and shook it.
"No. Who it was didn't matter. You don't know what a mudang's life is like. What it's like to be dominated by something and live against your own will…"
I sighed.
"So the way out from under the Jusin's control is to come under mine instead? That doesn't add up, does it? Isn't it the same thing in the end?"
Her voice grew pleading.
"No… Even if I can't explain it exactly, it's definitely different. It said that if I stay by your side, I'll help you lead people. And that if I offer myself to you, my life as a mudang is finished. Just supporting your energy from beside you would be enough…"
I raised my hand again.
"I told you I don't believe in that shamanism. Let me ask just one thing. Not all those hard-to-believe stories around us… I want to know if you truly want to be with me. And exactly what offering yourself means. Not the divine talk."
Yunchae lowered her head, and silence stretched between us. I waited with patience. None of this meant anything to me. Ghosts, mudangs, whatever else—I didn't believe in them. I didn't believe something was going to possess me, either. What mattered was Yunchae's heart. After a long stillness her hands moved. She took mine and gently drew me toward the carpeted part of the living room. I followed without resistance. The two of us stood on a round carpet marked with strange patterns.
"There are things you can't refuse no matter how hard you try. You wouldn't know. I lived in that atmosphere for more than twenty years. I have no family, no relatives. I built high walls so other people wouldn't see that side of me, and I lived inventing a false self. When I learned that you were the one who could save me, I felt resistance again toward the Jusin trying to dictate my fate—but I also thought you were my only hope. What do you think I felt looking at someone I thought of that way? Looks? Character? Money? Ability? When it's the person who's going to save me, can I think about those things? To me, you're Jesus and Buddha. If you accept me, I've decided to live the rest of my life for you."
It wasn't quite enough, and yet I thought maybe it would do. Relationships between men and women always start with wanting to be together forever, and then with time people sometimes part as enemies… And the most important thing was this: I liked Yunchae, and I believed not a single word of the superstition and stories she was offering, and I wasn't afraid of them either. I let out a long breath.
"Alright. So what do we do now?"
At my words her head snapped up. She glanced at the clock on the wall.
"Two minutes left. We have to unite at midnight."
With that, sunbae untied the ribbons of her hanbok jeogori. I startled. Paying no attention to my reaction, her hands only moved faster.
"You strip too. Hurry."
"What?"
Her voice turned sharp.
"There's no time. Hurry…"
At that edge in her tone I found myself starting to undress. Yunchae threw off the translucent upper and lower pieces of her hanbok. Her radiant naked body was revealed. Unable to take my eyes from her figure, I stripped even my socks in a daze. I was completely bare as well. At last Yunchae removed the conical hat. When she loosened the hair that had been tied back, her black locks spilled free. Angel… fairy… the words rose unbidden.
"Lie down here…"
She pointed to the center of the carpet. I lay down. Looking at my cock, Yunchae said,
"Is this… hard? Or does it need to get harder? What do I have to do for that?"
Even as she spoke she kept glancing at the clock. It had risen a little, of course, but it wasn't fully erect. My heart was hammering. I had no experience. I had no more idea what to do than she did.
Standing near my legs, looking back and forth between the clock and me, at a complete loss, Yunchae finally squatted down where she was. Then she seized my cock in one firm grip and began to stroke it up and down. Under her breath she muttered,
"Ah… why is it so big… this goes inside a person's body?"
She looked from my cock back to the wall clock, then stood up abruptly.
"Donghyun. I have no experience. But our union has to happen right now, in this moment."
Having said that, she climbed over me, took hold of my cock, and slowly lowered her hips. I felt her body against the tip. My heart felt ready to burst. I looked at her face. She kept her eyes locked on the clock and lowered herself a little further. Her features twisted.
"Aaaah… it hurts… no… there's no time…"
Deciding this wouldn't work, I gripped her hips and pulled hard. My cock was sucked into somewhere deep.
"Uwaaak!!!!"
Yunchae's cry of pain rang out, and almost at the same instant the wall clock's chime began. It was strange enough that a grandfather clock like that still existed; I had to listen to the antique stroke of midnight a full twelve times.
Ding… ding…