Chapter 52
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 52
Chapter Title: Gretel
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A house made of candy!
Drool starts...
But I don't charge in.
This is pretty much the first time I've seen candy from this world.
Yet somehow, I couldn't shake the feeling that it was familiar.
And that faint, ambiguously sweet scent wafting from it.
Isn't this the smell of red ginseng?
"Kak!"
They made this into candy?
"Schwoong...?"
Schwung looked utterly bewildered too.
From afar, it had looked like a tempting candy house, but up close, it didn't seem all that appetizing.
Of course, I'd eat it if offered, but I wouldn't buy it with my own money. It was stacked with candies that just didn't appeal.
Not that I'd tried them before, but I had a pretty good idea of the taste.
"Schwooo?"
Schwung compared the candy in its pouch to the red ginseng jelly.
"Schwaaang!"
It puffed up its body to express its anger.
How could they make a candy house out of this?
Even the gentle Schwung was clearly pissed.
"Hmm, I wonder who made something like this."
Even the wisest Sage, Muna, was chiming in.
Now's the time to curse the hell out of whoever built this house.
"Look at all these delicious treats packed in here."
Yeah, so delicious...
"Kak?"
"Schwung?"
Schwung and I both tilted our heads.
Sage dude, what the heck are you talking about?
"What are those looks? Take a whiff of this aroma. As a gourmet, I can tell. This is a delicacy of the highest order."
Right.
You're a gourmet first, Sage second.
But you think this looks tasty?
What? Your definition of gourmet is different from what I know.
"Schwaaaang!"
Schwung bristled up like it was calling bullshit.
"Hrm, well. Palates that haven't savored the years might not appreciate it."
So Muna's even older than I thought?
What's the average lifespan of a kiwi?
Not that it's a normal kiwi bird, of course.
Schwung and Muna debated what made a truly tasty candy.
Whatever, if Muna wants to eat it, let him.
I could grab a couple myself.
But that's not the point.
The point isn't what kind of candy it's made of—it's that a candy house exists here at all.
What do you think of when you hear "candy house"?
Obviously, Hansel and Gretel.
The tale of the wicked witch who lures kids with a candy house.
...Not that she'd lure kids with this candy, but she could probably snag a kiwi or two.
Either way, the owner of this house is a witch.
And Dorothy's presumed to be one too.
So raiding this place should net us some witch intel.
"Kak."
Everyone, huddle up.
Time to launch Operation Witch House Assault.
"Oh? Visitors! Yes, yes, come on in!"
Just as I was about to chicken-kick the door down, a woman's voice called from inside.
Did she know I was gonna smash it?
She's inviting us in, so maybe we don't need to break it after all.
Dust might get in my feathers.
But is it okay to go in looking like this?
Schwung had stretched its body long to cover me and Muna's eyes like masks.
To look kinda like thieves.
No real need to hide our faces, but it looks cool, right?
So at the door: a masked crow and masked kiwi.
But the witch in Hansel and Gretel lures humans.
"Well, she said come in, so let's go."
Muna gave the clear-cut answer.
We opened the powdery candy door and waited outside for a bit.
"My little doggies! You've finally come!"
I'd pictured an old hag for a witch, but it was a surprisingly young woman.
A blonde with silver eyes.
Though her black robe-like outfit made the witch vibe obvious.
...Huh?
She's Gretel?
She looked young for a reason—she's not the witch.
Is this after Hansel and Gretel hunted the witch?
No, even then, something's off.
Why would Gretel keep playing the witch?
I wanted to ask, but thinking of the Scarecrow made it click.
If Oz's Scarecrow turns into a people-eating demon, Gretel turning witch isn't that weird.
Anyway, her name revealed some key info.
Witches aren't treated as monsters.
Unlike other beasts, I could only see name and level.
Ethan was like that, and Bertolt too.
So Gretel’s more human-like than monster.
Not your average human, though.
Look at that level.
A whopping 40.
Lower than Bertolt, but second-highest I've seen.
She'd fold undead types in half easy.
"Why are you just standing there all blank? Come in! You must be starving, right?"
Gretel spoke so warmly.
Didn't bat an eye at our thief trio.
The witch in the story had poor eyesight.
If Gretel's playing witch, she probably has the same weakness.
"Kak kak."
"Kak? Kids these days, who knows. Anyway, come on in!"
Under Gretel's guidance, we entered the cabin.
"Feel free to peel off and eat the candies on the walls whenever. But I've got snacks prepared, so let's start with these!"
A huge table was laden with all sorts of treats.
"Schwoooong...."
Of course, no different from the house decorations.
Schwung wore a deeply displeased expression, but they seemed safe enough to eat.
Since becoming a crow, I've eaten worse. So what if it's old-fashioned candy?
...No clue why it's all red ginseng scented, though.
"Oho! Good eye! It's jelly made from Killer Hornet honey-marinated mandragora. The bittersweet tang is exquisite. Eat up!"
"Schwaaang...."
Schwung turned its head away, clearly not interested.
"Mmm, mmmph.... Mmmmmm...."
Muna, meanwhile, was face-deep in the food, savoring it.
Is it really that good?
I worried a bit about poison, but Muna's reaction eased my mind.
If the Sage is chowing down like that, it's safe for now.
Taste? No idea.
"Ufufu. Yes, yes. Eating so well, unlike kids these days? I was so sad seeing them pass by without tasting these delights."
Well, Muna's not a kid these days.
Still, it wasn't inedible, so I ate enough candy to fill my belly a bit.
Some were like traditional sweets—pick wisely, and it was fine.
"Ufufu, looks like I need to bring out more food for my little ones. But first, may I touch your arms? My eyes aren't so great, you see."
Gretel was finally showing her true colors.
Predictable, as expected.
The witch lured kids with candy to fatten them up, force-feeding sweets daily.
Sharp Hansel and Gretel caught on, fooling the nearsighted witch with chicken bones from leftovers, passed off as their arms.
The witch mistook the bones and waited till they were plump.
And now it was repeating.
She'd weigh us after checking our arms.
Ready to eat now, or fatten more?
I casually stuck out a leg.
"This ominous... no, divine.... Hmm? What a peculiar child! Alright, let me feel."
Obviously, a bird's leg is thin.
There's a saying about bird legs being all tendon.
Eagles or owls have thicker ones, and mine's thicker than average birds too.
But nothing compared to a human arm.
"Hmm, skinnier than expected. Need to feed you more."
My turn passed.
Next, Schwung.
"Schwung."
Schwung offered its short cloth arm.
"No bones at all! You especially need more food!"
"Schwooung...."
Thinking that is an arm? Bias-free, I guess.
Schwung looked extremely wronged.
What sin did it commit to need extra feeding?
That's what its face said.
Last up: Muna.
"My, what a plump one."
Gretel drooled, groping Muna's butt.
Hey, why the butt?
That's my poke zone.
"Ohoho...."
Gretel smiled in satisfaction.
Can't blame her.
Two kids were scrawny, but the last was super plump.
And devouring her snacks in a trance? She'd love that.
"May I pick you up? It's been so long since I've seen a child like this...."
Now she wanted the exact weight.
Muna didn't reply, but Gretel hoisted him up.
"Hohoho! Perfect! All meat! Let me see your face!"
Gretel locked eyes with Muna.
She could see at that range?
Damn, plan's busted.
Not much of a plan to begin with—kinda shameless calling it one—but it'd worked so far.
Wonder how she'll react to kiwi birds, not human kids.
Still happy?
At tasty kiwi meat?
Wait, then maybe she's no witch.
Just a forest woman who loves bird meat.
As I pondered, staring at Gretel—
"...Uh, um?"
Gretel's silver eyes widened in confusion.
Yeah, confusing.
Realizing the ones eating her food weren't human kids, but kiwis.
Not your average kiwi, a Sage one, but no way to know that.
"S-S-Sage? What brings you here...?"
She recognized him?
"Hmm, you know me?"
How?
How'd she spot the Sage in that pudgy body?