Even If I Become a Woman, I Still Want to Drink

People who say they want to be gender-bent are usually like this: they want to become a beautiful girl and make money streaming. They want to live a life where they get showered with compliments just for rolling around in bed.

In other words, it's like a Heavenly Restriction. A binding vow where you sacrifice your practically useless masculinity in exchange for overwhelming beauty. On top of that, you get a ton of perks you'd never normally enjoy. That's the psychology of someone who wants to be gender-bent.

But there's a trope that completely contradicts this gender-bending fantasy. Instead of changing you, it flips the common sense of the entire world. The gender-reversal trope.

Even in gender-reversal stories, the male-to-female ratio usually hovers around 1:5. But 1:30, which is six times that? That's a total rip-off! Even if you go to a co-ed school, it's basically a girls' high school by default!

To make matters worse, I've already been gender-bent. Meaning, I'm currently a woman. Which means... I don't belong to the 1. I belong to the 30. At this rate, I can't even dream of playing life on easy mode using my looks. Dammit! They said multiplying a negative by a negative makes a positive!

No, wait. Even though I've been gender-bent, maybe the world itself is still normal. Gods have this mysterious concept called divine power, right? Surely a mere local Mountain God couldn't have altered the entire world. Yeah, that must be it. It has to be. Otherwise, there was absolutely no point in my most precious asset dissolving into nothingness at a molecular level.

You can't give me a Heavenly Restriction that takes away my cursed energy but doesn't give me a heavenly physical gift!

I could vividly feel my heart pounding in my chest. I reached up to touch it, but as expected, there was still absolutely nothing there. It's not like I grew up malnourished or anything... Why is it like this?

My mood soured because the very first thing I wanted to try after being gender-bent was forcibly blocked. It felt like installing an RPG specifically to play a Rogue, only to find out the Rogue class had been deleted upon launching the game.

Still, it wasn't all bad. Even if I was flat, my overall looks had definitely leveled up. Despite definitely being a girl now, my face was way handsomer than my original self. Even though I radiated a total pretty-boy vibe, I should count this as a win.

"For this to actually be a win, that second wish better not have come true. And besides, that wasn't even my wish in the first place!" Was that bastard—whether he was an ancestor or a Mountain God—trying to turn an honest, resting young man into a complete shut-in?!

I unlocked the smartphone in my right hand and opened a search engine.

These headlines popped up before I could even type a single letter, almost as if they were mocking me.

Surely, even at worst, the ratio would be around 1:5 or 1:7. But 1:30, and I'm part of the 30? That would mean my life is completely screwed. I typed "South Korea male-to-female ratio" into the search bar and hit enter. The platform's AI automatically summarized the search results.

"...Holy shit." It was off by about 0.6 from my prediction. Though, could you even call that a difference? It felt more like a statistical margin of error.

"Sigh... How am I supposed to survive now?" Letting out a deep sigh, I collapsed face-first onto the mattress.

"At least my face got better. But in the end, it's just a face..." Instead of getting rewarded for being honest, my life was on the verge of ruin. As my worries piled up, I started craving a drink. Drinking first thing in the morning was pretty pathetic, but I felt like I'd go crazy if I didn't get some alcohol in me.

True to my nature as a lazy NEET, I didn't even bother standing up. I crawled on all fours toward the refrigerator. But when I opened it, the only things inside were some pasta sauce, a few eggs, and a tiny bit of kimchi. If I wanted to drink, I had to go out and buy it.

"I'm too lazy to go out, but I really want a drink." No matter how much I debated it, the conclusion was always the same: I had to ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠go. Without some alcohol to numb my brain, there was no way to break this vicious cycle of suffering. Since I was only going right outside the building, I skipped the shower. I stood in front of the bathroom mirror just to wipe the sleep from my eyes.

"Whoa... Is this really watashi?" "It doesn't feel real." Looking in the mirror, my beauty seemed twice as radiant as it did through the smartphone camera.

"Since my hair is short, I actually look pretty handsome. At a quick glance, people might even mistake me for a guy." Maybe it was because the symbol of motherhood that every woman should possess was completely absent.

After wiping away the crust and giving my face a quick wash, I was about to leave the bathroom when I suddenly felt the urge to pee. Was it just my imagination that I felt a sudden hesitation before pulling down my pants? Yeah, definitely just my imagination. Right.

Aside from the sheer inconvenience of having to sit down to pee, I realized there was the added chore of having to wipe. It was a piece of trivia I had absolutely no desire to learn... I guess I'll have to... get used to it?

I was ready to head out after washing up, but my clothes were an issue. I was currently wearing dolphin shorts and a T-shirt. Taking this chance, I stripped them off and changed into a tracksuit. A black matching set with white stripes. It was the ultimate all-purpose outfit—perfect for pajamas, working out, or just lounging around.

"Honestly, whoever invented this deserves a Nobel Prize." I giggled foolishly at my own stupid thought. I felt like my IQ was dropping into the single digits. "Alright, let's go buy some booze," I muttered, egging myself on.

I was about to shove my wallet and ID card into my pocket when I froze. One of the most basic tropes in gender-bending stories: the protagonist's ID card doesn't change. If that happened, I'd be in deep trouble... I wouldn't even be able to buy alcohol. I opened my wallet and pulled out my ID. Please, please, please, please! You could at least patch my ID card, right?

I carefully slid the ID card out of my wallet. The photo was revealed. In the spot where my original face should have been, there was a picture of a pretty girl. And right beneath it, my name was clearly printed: Kim Minser.

"Yes!! Oi, oi, I knew I could count on you!" Unlike those cliché gender-bending stories, whoever did this was incredibly thorough. Shoving my ID into my pocket, I headed out to the convenience store.

"Hel—Hello! ...No, that's not it. The tension is way too high, I'm not working at an amusement park. When a customer comes in, the greeting needs to be clean and professional." Haruna kept practicing her facial expressions in front of a small hand mirror propped up on the counter. But the harder she tried to smile, the more awkward and uncanny her expression became, bordering on the uncanny valley.

"If I knew this would happen, I would've watched my mouth on stream." A one-month account suspension. This was a devastating blow to someone like her, who streamed for a living. To make matters worse, she had zero savings, forcing her to swallow her pride and take a part-time job at a convenience store. Just then, a customer walked in.

"Welco... me?!" The greeting that escaped her mouth was so pathetic it made all her practicing completely pointless. But right now, her brain didn't have the capacity to ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠care about that.

A... a guy??!! And he's insanely handsome! He was wearing a black tracksuit that looked like it belonged to a shut-in NEET, but his ridiculously handsome face made the cheap outfit look like a designer luxury brand worth ten thousand dollars.

Is he a celebrity? Are they filming something nearby...? Unable to tear her eyes away, Haruna's gaze followed the customer as he walked through the store. The customer lingered around the alcohol section before picking up a six-pack of beer.

The ones in the back storage room are much colder, though. Normally, with her timid personality, Haruna would have just kept that thought to herself. But her burning desire to strike up a conversation with this handsome customer completely overpowered her usual shyness.

"Um... excuse me." "Yes?" Just making eye contact made her heart race as if she had chugged an entire case of energy drinks. If he had winked at her, she probably would have collapsed from cardiac arrest.

"Ex-Excuse me, but the p-product you chose... we actually have much c-colder ones in the back storage room. Would you l-like me to get you one of those instead?" Her heart was pounding like a frantic drumbeat, causing her to stutter uncontrollably.

"Oh, that would be great. Thank you." The customer lightly bowed his head in gratitude, his movements as clean and precise as a staccato note on a piano.

"I-I'll go grab it right away!" Only after stepping into the storage room, out of the customer's line of sight, did her racing heart finally begin to calm down. I know it's in here somewhere... Ah, found it. She pulled a fresh six-pack from the very back of the cold storage.

"Should I ask for his number when I hand this over? It'd be such a waste to just let him walk away..." In a certain monster-catching game, if you encounter a rare shiny monster, it's only natural to throw a capture ball first and ask questions later. The ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠problem was, this wasn't a game—it was reality.

Honestly, I want to sleep with hi—Wait, what the hell am I thinking?! It's because of these intrusive thoughts that I keep slipping up on stream and getting banned. Inside Haruna's mind, the "Go for it!" faction and the "Don't embarrass yourself, hold back!" faction were locked in a fierce battle. Ultimately, the victor was...

It's all that handsome customer's fault. How dare he walk around without a mask when he has a face like that! He's too hot, he's basically a walking aphrodisiac. Her shyness had utterly succumbed to her desire.

I'll just make my move when he goes to pay... I can just ask for his number then, right? Having formulated a plan in her head, Haruna handed over the cold six-pack and waited for the perfect moment.

"Just this, please." ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠"Ah, yes!" The customer placed only the six-pack she had brought out onto the counter.

Wait, does he like me too? Why else would he only buy the exact item I brought out for him? Haruna spun her delusional gears to the absolute maximum, inventing the most ridiculous justifications. Her plan was to wait for him to hand over his card and ID, then stick a post-it note on it that said, "Can I have your number?" before returning it.

But the moment she checked his ID, she noticed something bizarre. The first digit of the second half of the resident registration number was a 4.

If the first digit is a 4, that means... she's a woman. Haruna looked up to scan the customer's face once more. It was a handsome face where sharp masculinity and delicate femininity coexisted like yin and yang.

Her hair is short... and she has no chest. No matter how I look at her, she's a guy. Thinking she must have misread it, Haruna double-checked the ID. But as if to shatter her common sense, the gender clearly printed on the card was [FEMALE]. The person she was about to hit on was a woman, just like her.

"Excuse me, customer, but I think there's a mistake with your ID." "Huh? What's wrong with it?" "It seems you might have accidentally brought your sister's ID instead." The convenient conclusion Haruna had jumped to was that this customer had a female sibling who looked identical to him, and he had grabbed her ID by mistake.

That has to be it. There's no other explanation. But upon hearing her words, the customer made a slightly awkward expression. "I'm an only child, though..." "..."

In Haruna's mind, the perfect conclusion she thought she had reached shattered into pieces. Along with the sound of her reality cracking like a pane of glass, her neurons began firing at a speed she had never experienced in her entire life.

Wait... so with a face like that, she's a girl? She was actually a girl this whole time? What do I do? I was going to ask for her number... Just then, as if receiving a divine revelation, a crazy thought popped into her head. If she's a girl, then she definitely doesn't have a girlfriend! The moment that thought crossed her mind, the hurdle of asking for her number suddenly felt incredibly low.

I don't need us to be lovers... just friends. Yeah, I'm just asking for her number because I want to be friends! Still reeling from the shock of the customer being a woman, Haruna completely forgot her plan to use the post-it note. "U-Um, by any chance, c-could I get your n-number?! Your phone number?!" Like a car with broken brakes, she charged straight ahead and blurted out the question—something she would never normally have the courage to do.