Harpy's Ice Cream Session
By now, I felt like we’d grown somewhat close. Counseling Harpy was, at best, a smooth ride with no incidents. At worst, it was just spinning our wheels. Days had passed, yet there was no real progress. Her severe shyness showed no signs of easing, making any meaningful conversation feel nearly impossible. At this point, the daily visits seemed to serve little purpose beyond simply showing my face.
Getting paid to do nothing wasn’t the worst thing in the world, but anyone who’d lived even a little knew that salaries didn’t just appear in your account for free—especially when you weren’t a government employee.
“Mm~ Mmm~”
I watched her happily eating ice cream right in front of me. She’d rolled up her sleeves so I wouldn’t see her hands, awkwardly wedging the spoon between them as she struggled to eat. Even so, she wore the happiest expression in the world. Her mind had been filled with nothing but delighted thoughts—“tasty,” “happy”—for a while now, and I’d already been pushed to the back of her awareness. If I moved closer, she probably wouldn’t even notice.
Not that I actually planned to try. Still, this wasn’t so bad. Getting to stare openly at such a cute, pretty face without her catching on was a rare opportunity. I wasn’t about to waste it.
She scooped up a huge spoonful, opened her small mouth as wide as she could, then failed to get it inside and pouted while carefully scraping some off. I’d lost count of how many times I’d seen this, but it never got old. Her lips glistened—whether from the slightly melted ice cream or her own saliva—and I couldn’t look away.
Tasty. The ice cream, I mean.
“Ahem, ahem.”
“…?”
I cleared my throat and straightened up. I knew she couldn’t hear my thoughts, but the old habit from childhood still made me feel like a thief with a guilty conscience.
“It’s nothing. Please, enjoy your ice cream.”
Even so, spending time counseling Harpy had started to change my perspective. After Joker’s “welcome” display of those grotesque mermaids, I’d been convinced every non-human entity was something to fear. But watching the girl in front of me—one who looked like she couldn’t even swat a fly, let alone harm a person—made me realize “protection” suited her far better than “containment.”
Starting with prejudice and closing your heart was definitely the wrong approach. Especially for someone like me, who could hear the voices in people’s minds.
“Ung-ssi, do you have a moment?”
“Eek…!”
“Hweeeh?!”
Thud!
The unpleasant voice right by my ear sent a chill down my spine. I reflexively slammed the table and shot to my feet. Harpy, of course, let out a strange shriek and toppled backward in her chair, flailing her arms wildly before crashing to the floor with a loud thud. The spoon she’d been waving flew through the air and clattered noisily onto the table.
“Harpy!”
“Ah, I didn’t expect you to be so startled. My apologies.”
Speak of the devil. When I turned, there was Joker’s clown mask—looking not the least bit sorry.
“What brings the team leader here personally…?”
“Sorry for interrupting your appreciation of cute little Harpy, but the President just arrived.”
“I-I wasn’t really… Wait, what?”
While I was still flustered from being called out, the word “President” finally registered.
“The President?”
“Didn’t I mention it last time? She wanted to meet you personally.”
…Right. She had. But the President wanting to see a brand-new counselor like me? I couldn’t imagine why someone so important would bother.
“But Harpy’s counseling session isn’t finished yet…”
Though, to be fair, all I’d done was watch her eat ice cream. Still, I figured I deserved at least a little time to mentally prepare.
“…Eeeeh.”
“She fainted.”
“Ah.”
Ding—!
B49
I’d only ever gone to B21 for Harpy’s sessions, so descending two whole levels deeper made me tense as I followed Joker down the corridor. The Level 4 section was far more complex than I’d expected—easy to get lost in.
“Hmm…”
I was starting to suspect we’d passed the same hallway multiple times when Joker finally stopped.
“Here we are.”
“…The elevator’s right next to us.”
If I turned my head, I could clearly see the elevator we’d just ridden down. But I understood why he’d stopped here.
“Lucky you. Usually it takes longer.”
“More importantly… what exactly is this?”
I stared at the pitch-black door in front of us. It didn’t reflect any light, creating the illusion that nothing was there at all. I definitely hadn’t seen anything like it when we first stepped off the elevator.
RL.1 - DOOR
A label in the same style as the ones on every other room. But Level 1? I’d been told Risk Level 2 was the lowest. What was Level 1?
“It’s a door that changes location on its own. We moved the entire frame into storage on this floor, but it keeps relocating itself.”
Changing location? The door itself?
“The President likes it, so she’s using it as her office. It’s a real hassle every time she calls for someone.”
“Is it… alive?”
“Who knows? Is something alive only if it has blood flowing through it, or a beating heart, or the ability to reproduce? The criteria are vague, aren’t they?”
“That’s…”
“If the ability to move on its own is the condition for being a living creature, then this door qualifies.”
I probably wouldn’t be counseling doors or chairs anytime soon, so it didn’t matter. The old me might’ve been shocked enough to faint, but honestly, nothing here surprised me much anymore. Trying to understand everything by my old standards would be arrogant.
“Before you meet the President, there are a few things you should know—”
“No, wait—”
“I haven’t even said anything yet.”
“That’s not it…”
While Joker was still speaking, the black door that had been right in front of us suddenly vanished. I stared blankly at the empty wall, then glanced sideways to see the clown mask looking away like he had nothing to do with it.
“…”
We wandered for quite a while before finding the door again. This time I grabbed the handle immediately, not wanting it to disappear once more, and stepped inside without hesitation.
“Sorry for being late.”
“My apologies…”
At least twenty minutes had passed. The moment I entered, I bowed deeply, nearly folding in half.
“Ah, it’s fine. I figured you’d get lost again.”
The voice that answered was a bright, husky female tone—completely unexpected. And that smell… cigarette smoke? No, something much stronger that made my throat tighten.
Since I’d been told it was okay, I slowly raised my head. The only person in the room was a woman with long, noticeable scars on her face and a rough impression. She had one foot propped on the desk, puffing on a thick cigar. Her hair was ash-blonde with streaks of dark gray, and her deep silver eyes were striking. The sharp fangs visible as she smoked added to the impression.
She wore gray suit pants and a dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up and more than half the buttons undone, openly showing the black sports bra underneath. Her physique was clearly athletic—probably from some kind of training. Whatever it was, I was certain I’d get utterly crushed if I tried to fight her.
The sheer number of scars covering her body gave off an atmosphere completely different from neighborhood thugs’ tattoos, and I felt strangely overwhelmed.
…Come to think of it, I’d heard the President had a girlfriend. Apparently this art museum reflected her girlfriend’s tastes. It seemed mismatched, but maybe I was misremembering. With a girlfriend like that, someone like me would probably just get carried around like a handbag.
Still… having such a cool foreign girlfriend was a little enviable.
So where exactly was the President?
Given how casually this woman had her feet on the desk and was smoking a cigar like she owned the place, she didn’t look like a temporary stand-in. If her girlfriend was handling the actual work, that would make sense.
“You’re back early, President.”
“Nothing troublesome happened while I was gone, right?”
“President?!”
I whipped my head toward Joker in shock, but he only tilted his masked head in confusion.
You’re the one who told me she had a girlfriend! I thought she was a man! …Though that was my own prejudice talking.
“My name is Sim Geon-ung!”
“Ah, right. You’re Woong, huh? I’ve got a codename too, but just call me President.”
“…Yes, President.”
Woong again… After Joker, now the President was calling me that too.
“I was curious about something. Mind unlocking the block?”
“Of course.”
The President crossed her legs the other way and leaned back comfortably, giving an order. Joker answered immediately, so it clearly wasn’t directed at me.
Unlock the block…? Before I could wonder what that meant, her husky voice suddenly echoed inside my head.
Ah, the smell of virginity… How lewd. Should I sneak a taste while El Dorado isn’t looking?
“??”
“Wondering what I was just thinking~?”
She grinned mischievously.
“Ah… well…”
Did I have to answer? Was it even allowed?
He looks troubled~ If I pin him down so he can’t escape, I could keep going until he passes out. What should I do? Hmm~? What do you think~?
“…”
I’d heard people’s thoughts my whole life, but never anything this raw and explicit. Unable to withstand her direct gaze and voice, I lowered my head.
Does he like being tormented? If I tease him, he’ll probably give me some cute, virginal reactions, right?
She showed no signs of stopping, like her brakes were broken. This was sexual harassment. Workplace sexual harassment. The president was personally demonstrating the corruption of hierarchical society to a new employee.
“Hmm, your ability seems solid. Heh heh.”
“I apologize on her behalf. Our President has a mischievous side. I’m sure her mind was full of vulgar thoughts, but that doesn’t mean they reflect her true intentions.”
“…Right.”
No, I’d felt it clearly. I couldn’t deny a bit of anticipation, but instinctive fear had been stronger. My spine had trembled at the thought of actually being devoured. And she claimed it wasn’t serious?
“Still, you’re lucky. Working at a company full of sexy female executives and female team leaders… and you’re the only precious male here.”
Male… Wait, what did she just say?
“Excuse me?”
For the fourth time today, I spun around to stare at Joker.
…That mask was still unpleasant every time I looked at it. I doubted I’d ever warm up to it. But right now, that wasn’t important.
“Is there something on my mask?”
“Ah… No, you’re the team leader, right?”
“Yes, I’m the Management Team Leader. You call me Team Leader too, don’t you?”
Female… She’s female? Where exactly did she look female? Her height and build were similar to mine—this was obviously a male physique.
“Team Leader… you’re a woman?”
After a brief pause, Joker tapped his mask with a finger like he’d just remembered.
“Ah, I forgot to mention. You couldn’t tell because of the mask.”
No, the mask wasn’t the issue. Her body shape was male from the start.
“This is another special item the facility manages, like the door you saw earlier… To you, I probably look like I have a male build. It has mirror-like properties.”
So the President saw Joker’s clown mask with that revealing outfit…? I couldn’t even picture it.
“Then that strange voice too?”
“Thanks to it, the wearer’s identity stays completely hidden. Even if yesterday’s me and today’s me were different people, you probably wouldn’t notice.”
“Don’t worry—the smell can’t be hidden.”
I understood… but why wear it all the time? If you had to wear something like this at work, and the President could tell by smell anyway…
Wasn’t this mask supposed to be stored separately in a warehouse, like the door? Wasn’t that the whole point of this facility?
“…”
…Nothing here was normal. This company was completely messed up.
“…I look forward to working with you from now on.”
But I was just a regular employee. No matter how broken the environment, I had no choice but to adapt with everything I had. That was the reality—more terrifying than a mermaid’s true face.
“The Management Team Leader already introduced herself, so… Your first task is figuring out why cute little Harpy won’t let anyone near her and solving that problem. Give it your best shot.”
“I’ll do my best.”
“If you pull it off, I’ll give you a reward. Now, what would be good…?”
A reward?
“Hmm~ How about I take your virginity?”
I’d been expecting a bonus, but got sexual harassment instead.
“…I’m fine, thank you.”
“I’d be gentle, you know? Everything I was thinking earlier was just a joke.”
“…”