A Name for the Girl
"A name...?" I asked for her name because there simply wasn't any proper title I could use for someone like her. With Harpy, I'd ended up calling her that after following the team leader's lead, but even then I could never bring myself to use the crude nicknames the team leader sometimes threw around. No ordinary person could.
"Mm..."
"If it's hard to say, you can just pick any alias you like."
"No, it's not that. I just... don't really have a name."
"Ah...?"
Thinking about it for even a moment, that made sense. My own name had been given to me by my late grandfather, after all. Most people received theirs from parents or guardians in childhood.
"Is a name really that important?"
While there were rules against revealing or asking for names to avoid forming attachments to containment subjects, I'd received special permission from the team leader this time for a reason.
"Of course it is. Most people remember others by their names. When you think of someone's name, all the feelings and impressions you have of them come rushing back naturally."
"Mmm..."
She tilted her head the other way, still looking unconvinced, so I continued.
"In other words, if I want to remember you better, I need your name."
"...Ah?"
The team leader probably saw this as me willingly walking into the predator's mouth, but with that heavy black restraint locked around her slender neck, I figured a small concession like this was necessary. She'd always tried to draw me in whenever she could, so I believed she'd understand the value of a name.
"Then... would you give me one, Counselor?"
"Give you one...? Your name?"
"Of course. My name."
"Uh... well..."
That was a good reaction. I hadn't expected her to ask me to name her outright, but she was clearly interested in the idea. I could even feel the excited thumping in her chest.
...But there was a reason I couldn't just smile and agree right away.
"..."
"Counselor...?"
My naming sense was absolutely terrible. The memory of trying to name Nero still haunted me.
"Hmm, your fur is black, so... how about 'Kkami'?"
"Hyaaaah...!"
"Y-you don't like it? Then... 'Kkamangi'? 'Kkamnyangi'...?"
"Hyaaaah!!"
"Aaaagh?!"
We'd only just started getting along, and that disaster had forced me to buy her an absurd amount of Churu treats. In the end, I'd recalled a famous children's song and settled on "Nero," which finally earned me a reluctant nod and a pouty expression.
"J-just wait a moment. A name is something precious and unique, so I can't rush it, right?"
"Something precious... That's true. I'm really looking forward to whatever you choose."
She smiled brightly at me, but my mouth had gone completely dry. I forced myself to keep smiling anyway. She probably knew exactly how I felt and was enjoying the pressure.
"Mmm..."
After taking a deep breath to steady myself, I looked at her carefully. The first thing anyone would notice was her exotic, almost mystical lavender hair. Even without any special care, it always stayed silky and beautiful, carrying a pleasant floral scent when you got close. When I'd first met her, it had been dull and colorless, but after she'd drained so much of my energy, it had turned this soft lavender shade and stayed that way.
She'd imitated the field team leader, the management team leader, even Harpy, changing her face and figure many times, but her eyes had never changed. They were the same color as her hair—lavender, a soft purple.
"Uh... how about 'Yeonja'?"
"..."
"...?"
Why wasn't she answering? Had she not heard me?
"...Did you just say something?"
"Ah, no. I didn't say anything..."
I'd definitely felt a flash of pure frustration in my mind, like losing a board game but stripped of any lingering disappointment. Just raw anger.
...Yeah, I definitely shouldn't be the one naming her.
There had to be a better name already out there that could capture her color perfectly. Ah—
"...Lavender."
"Ah..."
The word had surfaced while my mind was filled with that soft purple. A beautiful flower that shared the same gentle lavender hue as her hair and eyes.
"...How about shortening it to 'Lav' as a nickname?"
"Is shortening it like giving me a pet name?"
"Something like that... What do you think?"
I watched her nervously, but even without seeing her smile, the feeling blooming in my chest was unmistakable—warm, deeply satisfied.
"I like it. Lavender... Lav. Much better than Yeonja."
"..."
So she had heard me earlier.
"I'm just glad you're satisfied... Lav."
"Then it's my turn to ask now, isn't it?"
"...Yeah. Your turn."
It wasn't really a proper answer to her question about names, but the relief of her liking the name I'd given her left me feeling drained. The spinner began to whirl again with a loud chrrrrrrk!
This time it landed on the golden space facing her.
"Aha, so now I get to ask."
I wasn't exactly relaxed just because it was her turn. What kind of question would she ask...? Hopefully something I could answer without worrying about the team leader overhearing.
"Don't be so nervous. My question will be the same as yours, Counselor."
"Huh...?"
"...Tell me your name. I want to call you by it too."
"..."
It was an unexpectedly simple question, but the team leader still hadn't given permission to reveal my full name. I couldn't waste this chance by refusing to answer, either.
"—Calling him 'Ung-ssi,' like you always do, should be fine. We can't allow full names due to potential anomalous risks, but a nickname... given the special circumstances, I'll permit it.—"
The team leader's voice came through the earpiece as if she'd read my mind. I already knew the management team was monitoring us, but hearing her respond so quickly made it feel like she was right beside me. The surveillance cameras hidden among the garden trees suddenly felt much more obvious.
"—By the way, a truth game? Clever idea. Coercion doesn't work well on someone whose instincts are strongly controlling their will. It sounds fun—maybe we should all try it at the end-of-month dinner.—"
"...Dinner?"
"Counselor?"
"Ah... it's nothing. So, um... according to the rules, I can't give my full name, but if it's just a nickname like 'Lav'... yeah. You can call me Ung-ssi."
She seemed to like the word "nickname" quite a bit and didn't press further.
"Nickname... Mm, it has a nice ring to it. Then it's your turn now, Ung-ssi. Hehe."
She looked satisfied, even licking her lips for some reason while murmuring "Ung-ssi... Ung-ssi..." under her breath. I decided to leave that alone for now and spun the wheel again.
Chrrrrrrk...
Dinner, though? I was technically part of the management team, but my duties were special, so I rarely ran into the other staff. My usual routine was just stopping by Harpy's containment room and then being dragged around by the team leader. Personal meetings and introductions between team members were strictly forbidden inside the facility, so... dinner? The very word made me anxious, even before considering whether it was even possible.
"It's my turn to ask again."
"Huh...? Oh, right."
Only after hearing her speak did I look down and realize the spinner had landed on her side once more. When would I get another turn? My luck had been terrible so far—maybe it would improve here. Relying on probability like that was ridiculous, though.
"Then... hmm, let's see. Ung-ssi."
Thud.
"Huh? Uh, yeah."
She suddenly placed both hands on the table and stood up. Her chest bounced heavily with the motion before settling, proudly displaying its full weight and size. The neckline of her dress stretched, revealing a deep cleavage right in front of me. It looked like the kind of place where burying your face would smell wonderful.
She clearly knew how effective this particular weapon was. She'd used the same move on me multiple times, and as a man, I kept falling for it every single time. Was this what being moved felt like?
Still, we were connected right now. Wouldn't she also feel the backlash from this unfamiliar stimulation?
"...!"
But when I saw her face, I immediately shut my slightly open mouth.
"...Ung-ssi... ngh, don't you... want to pounce on me right now? Don't you have any desire like that?"
Her eyes were spinning with embarrassment, but she was desperately trying to hold onto a relaxed smile while barely managing to endure the stimulation. It was obvious she was struggling, so I wasn't sure how much point there was in pretending otherwise. Even in this situation, she was desperately trying to win my favor on her own terms.
I was curious why she was being this desperate, but right now it was her turn to ask.
"That's..."
"You're really strange, Ung-ssi. When we first met, you were so forward... but the more time we spend together, the more you hold yourself back instead of being honest with your feelings."
"...Well, just because I think you're pretty... and get excited... doesn't mean I should pounce on you. That would be rude. I should at least talk with the person properly first... you know?"
"—This isn't even pity anymore. You're still the same, Ung-ssi.—"
"Urk."
I decided to ignore the team leader's teasing voice with all my strength and continued stumbling through my answer.
"Anyway... Lav, even though you always appear in front of me in the form I find most attractive... that's not the only way to make someone like you."
For her, showing herself as a beautiful flower to others had always been her strongest weapon, and it had never failed before. That was why she'd stuck with this method. Even now, that appearance wasn't completely ineffective on me. Since she was doing this just to eat, she probably preferred this direct approach that got quick results.
...But as someone trying to educate her sense of self, I couldn't just leave it at that.
"Even if you don't seduce me like that, if we remember each other's names, spend time together, and build trust and bonds... unless something special happens, I'll naturally grow fond of you. So... you don't have to rush."
"..."
I barely managed to finish speaking while fighting to keep my eyes from being drawn to her deep cleavage. But she didn't answer right away. She simply straightened her posture, placed a hand over her chest with a puzzled expression.
"This feeling... holding back something you want, but for such a gentle reason... it's strange."
"...?"
"How can your intentions be kind when you're not being honest with your own emotions?"
Then she asked me instead. It was actually an easier question than the previous one.
"Well, obviously... because I don't want to treat you carelessly."
"Ah...?"
This was altruism. For someone who had lived by instinct, this feeling must be completely foreign—the ability to endure honest desire for someone else's sake. It was deeply contradictory to pure instinct.
Of course, when she presented that body right in front of me, I naturally felt the urge to be completely honest with my desires and do all sorts of things. But the reason I could hold back... well, the team leader's gaze was part of it, but ultimately, it was because I was thinking of her.
"It's natural that you don't understand it yet. That's why I'm here—to teach you."
"..."
"You asked if I had any desire to pounce on you, right?"
"...Yes."
"If I said no, that would obviously be a lie. But if you're asking whether I want to act on that desire... then no, I don't. I already told you once what matters in this experiment. You need to value yourself more."
Building a healthy sense of self required self-esteem and self-love. It shouldn't become excessive, but for her—who had always adjusted everything about herself, her appearance, attitude, and speech, to match others while never being true to herself—it was exactly what she lacked right now.
And even without that reason...
"For now... you're also just a girl."