Seeking a Different Warmth
"Hah... hngh... haah..."
I watched her still struggling for breath on the bed in that burdensome state. With every labored inhale and exhale, her chest rose and fell, the full, soft mounds jiggling atop it as if proudly displaying just how yielding they were. Though she had gone a week without food, her body remained toned from constant training; aside from her slightly pale complexion, there were few outward signs of weakness. Her figure stayed voluptuous, every curve brimming with femininity, while faint muscle lines stood out clearly beneath a sheen of sweat that lent her a healthy, vibrant glow.
"..."
At least she seemed to have escaped the stigma's punishment for now... though the real worry gnawing at me was how long I could keep holding back.
"...Scarlet."
"...Hngh... haah..."
When I carefully called her name, her eyes met mine with a mix of fear and quiet resentment that made my chest tighten. Even if it meant risking her abilities again, I wanted to return her freedom as soon as possible. Keeping her bound by that stigma collar felt like being forced onto a stage I never wanted, compelled to play at superiority. It left me sick to my stomach.
"From now on, no matter what orders come down, I want you to think and act for yourself. You don't have to worry about the stigma hurting you anymore."
"That kind of thing..."
"We still haven't found a solution for the possession, but first—"
"That stuff... doesn't matter right now..."
Huh...? I was the one talking, yet it felt like I had just witnessed a pivotal turning point in her life. "Doesn't matter right now"? No, that couldn't be right.
"Hold me... please."
"..."
Her voice was almost tearful now. Honestly, with her powers restored and the stigma gone, she could have taken what she wanted with the slightest effort—even raw physical strength would have sufficed. The team leader might intervene if things went too far, but with the restraints removed, I was weak enough compared to her that being pinned down wouldn't have been surprising. And truthfully, I didn't dislike the idea. But I knew that giving in to this temptation would be no different from happily picking up the spoon at the disgusting table they had set for me. I forced my mind to stay clear.
Part of me wondered if this could be an opportunity to let her experience real freedom, but even so, her first taste of acting on her own will couldn't be raping me. That would be wrong.
"Scarlet, why are you so fixated on... being held?"
"..."
I asked because I wanted her to think about it herself. The question seemed to land well; this time she gave a proper answer.
"...I want to feel warmth."
"Warmth?"
"Being cherished gently, sometimes roughly... so this body, this heart, can still feel alive..."
She managed to push herself up on one arm, barely covering her chest with it and hiding the pretty tips of her breasts, though she clearly had no intention of getting dressed. "And... I thought maybe you could give me that. So..."
Her voice grew smaller, almost shrinking into itself, revealing both her embarrassment and anxiety at once. For a moment she looked like an entirely different person, and the sight made something inside me clench tight. I loosened my fist and asked again.
"I can do that. But what if there are other ways I could make you happy too?"
"...Other ways?"
She looked genuinely puzzled, as if she had never considered any alternative. It made sense—she had been starved of freedom for so long that she only recognized the "carrots" they fed her as pleasure.
"Not with hands or mouth... then... with feet...?"
"...?"
"No, no! That's not what I meant at all...!"
I had been nodding seriously to myself when her words made me panic. What on earth was she thinking...? Her mind was still trapped on that bed. Maybe she could only perceive the bed itself as that kind of space now. When I hurriedly denied it, she frowned slightly and touched her forehead. The gesture let me glimpse a trace of her original personality beneath the awkward honorifics, which was nice—until she immediately glanced at me for approval, and that felt strange.
"Then... besides being held, was there ever another moment when you felt happy?"
In the end I changed the question. She started to shake her head, then paused. Was there something?
"...Baths."
What she said next was surprisingly simple. "When I'm in warm water filled with sweet, soft bubbles... it feels as comforting as being held."
"A bath, huh..."
It was fortunate something else had come up before I lost control over her defenseless naked body, but a bath? Would I have to ask the Founder to create one again? Actually, now that I thought about it, just two floors down from here...
"Ah...?"
While my mind wandered, she had already stood up. The reason I froze was obvious—she was still completely bare. I was fully dressed while a naked woman approached me; the situation carried an awkward weight I had never experienced before. Was she not embarrassed? Or... was exposing herself simply normal to her?
"More importantly... why aren't you holding me?"
"Ah, no, it's not that..."
The distance between us had already closed to less than a step. She wrapped both arms around my neck and pulled me close so I couldn't escape. For a second I wondered how she planned to cover her chest with just her arms—then I nearly looked down out of habit. It didn't matter; the moment her body pressed against mine, that soft, warm sensation filled my chest, and I knew looking down would only show her breasts squished against me.
She was about as tall as the field team leader—taller than average, with long legs that gave the illusion of even greater height. At this distance our eyes met easily.
"...."
"..."
Once she was pressed against me, she seemed to relax, as if reassured. Her voice came out slowly. "My body... is it really that bad...?"
"Of course not."
"...But you're still not touching me."
She alternated between polite and casual speech, whining softly while fidgeting with her arms around my neck. Maybe she was getting more comfortable with me than before. That was a good sign.
"If you're worried about the burn scars on your arms, they don't matter at all."
"..."
"I'm already at my limit just resisting this temptation... Haah, excuse me."
Words alone wouldn't reach her, so I decided to connect with her again after a long time. As expected, the emotions she felt while asking to be held had nothing to do with lust or romantic affection. She simply wanted to fill a long-standing emptiness. Meanwhile, what I was holding back was pure, urgent desire—obvious from the painful tightness in my pants.
"Ah... ugh, this..."
"...You understand now that I wasn't lying, right?"
After sensing my feelings, color returned to her pale face. Her eyes gained focus, and she looked far more alive. ...She really was beautiful. Probably older than me, too. But this wasn't the time to stare. I knew that, yet I couldn't close my eyes or look away.
"Then... why are you still holding back?"
She asked at the perfect moment. And the reason hadn't changed since the beginning. In a way, it was simple and obvious.
"Because you're not hugging me because you like me, Scarlet."
"...That's..."
She was right. Resisting like this was painful for me too. "There are many ways to feel and confirm affection. Being held is one of them, but there are others. I just... hah... want to show you those other ways."
"..."
If she had been like Rav—seducing me because she genuinely liked me—I would have ignored the team leader outside and already been tangled with her on that bed. But right now she looked like someone who, when thirsty, ignored the water right in front of her and reached for strong liquor out of habit. And she had been conditioned that way for a long time.
"Please give me a little more time. I'll do everything I can to give you happiness and affection."
"...Ah... ngh."
Whether it was my feeling or hers, I suddenly felt embarrassed after saying something so cheesy. My heart pounded.
"Just one week. Please stay with me for one more week. If you're still not satisfied after that, then I'll do whatever you want."
"...Okay..."
Thud...
"Could you... step back a little? I need to... get dressed."
Even though she had been the one to hug me first, the sight of her walking back to the bed, turning away, and putting on a simple t-shirt and shorts while occasionally glancing at me carried a strange weight. She had been completely naked just moments ago, yet now she kept sneaking looks while dressing.
...Maybe I should just take her from behind right now. She probably wouldn't resist. The thought crossed my mind, but then she let out a short gasp, her legs wobbling as she steadied herself on the bed and whipped her head toward me. Only then did I realize I still hadn't cut the connection.
I quickly severed it and looked away, pretending nothing had happened. But the worry that I might be the one who couldn't hold out much longer was already growing stronger.