The White Man's Burden (2)
Every nation was the same. The first year after a king's death, when a new monarch ascended the throne, brought a peculiar tension mixed with an undercurrent of disorder.
Joseon was no exception.
The new king who succeeded Cheoljong was not yet twelve years old. The highest authority in the royal household, Queen Dowager Shinjeong of the Jo clan, was serving as regent.
Queen Dowager Shinjeong placed absolute trust in the king's father, the Daewongun Yi Ha-eung, and had agreed to handle most state affairs according to his counsel.
Yet the Daewongun, still early in his regency, maintained a posture of humility, lowering himself to build legitimacy.
His original plan had been to avoid any overt moves for at least six months, stabilizing the court before pursuing the reforms he desired.
“Your Majesty, a most peculiar report has arrived from the magistrate of Dongnae. It states that over a dozen Westerners who entered through the Japanese trading post last month are wearing mourning clothes and causing a disturbance.”
Unfortunately, heaven did not grant the Daewongun his wish.
The young king wore an expression of fascination at the strange news, so unlike anything he had heard before. Behind the large screen, Queen Dowager Shinjeong and the Daewongun standing below the throne could not hide their bewilderment.
“Mourning clothes? Do Westerners even hold funerals? And if so, why are they getting drunk and causing trouble instead of mourning?”
“Well… they are said to be wearing pointed hoods, calling themselves White Knights, and setting crosses ablaze in some bizarre ritual.”
“A cross? Then they must be a group similar to those Catholic fanatics who caused disturbances before.”
To Joseon's ruling class, Westerners were essentially synonymous with Catholics—rebellious elements bent on destroying social order.
“As expected… they are plotting to spread their heresy at every opportunity. We must dispatch the Royal Investigators at once to arrest them…”
“However, Your Majesty, according to the report, that does not appear to be the case.”
The Chief Secretary wore a troubled expression as he read the report again.
“They carried crosses, but rather than praying, they poured oil on them and set them on fire. Moreover, they never once uttered the name of their god, only spouting nonsense about ‘white power’ and the like.”
“……”
“They even linked arms around the burning crosses, giggling and dancing, then drank themselves into a stupor and collapsed in the street.”
Queen Dowager Shinjeong behind the screen and even the Daewongun were left speechless.
Burning the symbol of their own faith and holding a drinking party?
“What in the world are they doing?”
Deep furrows creased the Daewongun's brow. A vicious headache stabbed at his temples.
It made no sense. If they intended to spread heresy, they should have done so discreetly, winning over the people. This was nothing more than clownish antics.
“Could the Catholics have cleverly changed their missionary tactics to deceive the authorities? Pretending to be madmen to lower our guard before…”
“Their appearance is far too conspicuous for that. Besides, looking at their origins…”
The Daewongun pointed to the final line of the report.
“It says they are not from Europe, but from America.”
“America? Ah, the country that recently opened the eastern kingdom of Japan?”
“Indeed. Their roots may resemble Europe's, but their behavior is said to be entirely different. It seems they truly lack any foundation.”
Their idiotic conduct was on an entirely different level from the meticulous scheming of the Catholics.
Honestly, they simply looked… stupid.
“What should we do? Violating the law is the same in either case, so execution would be appropriate, but…”
Queen Dowager Shinjeong could not give an immediate answer to her ministers' questions.
If there had been clear evidence that these men had denied ancestral rites or spread heresy, she would not have hesitated to order their beheading. But all they had done was wear bizarre clothing and get drunk.
Executing mere drunkards risked diplomatic complications with this so-called America.
Her gaze subtly shifted toward the Daewongun beyond the screen.
The Daewongun let out a deep sigh inwardly.
‘It has only been a month since the king's ascension. We cannot afford any ominous rumors.’
He was already walking on thin ice while consolidating power by expelling the Andong Kim clan. There was no need to create unnecessary trouble by spilling the blood of insignificant Westerners at a time like this.
“Their crimes are not yet clear, and there is no evidence they spread heresy. It would be improper to take their lives so hastily.”
“Then are you suggesting we simply release them?”
“Of course not. They dared to disturb the people with their grotesque attire on Joseon soil. We should imprison them, administer a severe flogging to demonstrate the strictness of our laws, and then expel them. A beating is the only language beasts understand.”
A good thrashing followed by expulsion would ensure they returned home trembling at the memory of Joseon's sting and never dared approach again.
The cleanest solution with no repercussions.
“The Daewongun's judgment is correct. Issue the order accordingly.”
“I shall obey…”
“Your Majesty! Your Majesty! Urgent news!”
Just as everything seemed resolved, a royal secretary from the Royal Secretariat burst in, bowing hastily.
“Another urgent message has arrived from the magistrate of Dongnae. The Westerners in white clothing were wrapped in straw mats and beaten by the commoners. Two have died. Their safety is currently being protected at the government office, but what should be done…”
“What? What exactly did they do to be beaten to death by the people?”
“While drunk, they urinated into rice bowls and caused a major altercation…”
Drunk… urinated into rice bowls… drunk… urinated into rice bowls…
The report echoed in the Daewongun's ears like a hallucination. He squeezed his eyes shut.
Ah… damn it.
He would rather they had molested women or desecrated ancestral graves.
Of course, what they had done was infuriating.
But if they were beaten to death for that, what was he supposed to do now?
For Joseon, which had only ever dealt with Westerners who denied the ancestral shrines and sought to undermine the nation's foundations, an entirely new and troublesome adversary had appeared.
“Ugh… damn it…”
In the cold, damp prison cell of the Dongnae government office, Nathan Bedford Forrest ground his teeth against the searing pain in his backside.
He had never imagined it.
How dare these uncivilized Oriental monkeys lay hands on a white man's body?
And with clubs, no less, against men armed with guns?
It was unthinkable.
In Japan, they had groveled at the mere sight of him.
Yet these peninsula savages had used some bizarre method to beat them as if they were animals.
“Grand Wizard… they tricked us.”
The lieutenant lying beside him spat blood, his voice filled with indignation.
“They were all wearing white clothes, but it wasn't to welcome us! It was camouflage!”
“Camouflage?”
“Yes! Like rabbits in the snow, they wore white to deceive our eyes, then ambushed us! The treacherous bastards…”
Indeed. Even the valiant officers of the KKK had been powerless against thousands of yellow men swarming them.
These people had worn the same white clothing to put them at ease, then launched a cowardly surprise attack—a barbaric tactic.
“Even we cannot withstand hundreds of times our number, especially when they attack so dishonorably…”
“True. This was an unavoidable defeat. But we cannot simply retreat. I will make them pay for the blood of our fallen comrades.”
Nathan Bedford Forrest's eyes burned with vengeful fury.
Though driven out, this was not the end.
Back home, they were being hailed as heroes and praised, were they not?
If he revealed how they had been betrayed and humiliated here, the nation's wrath would erupt like a volcano.
“The moment we are released, we return to Japan and contact the homeland! No—inform the Japanese merchants of our situation as quickly as possible. So that the United States military can turn this filthy land upside down!”
The monkeys of this peninsula would soon witness the true might of the United States.
But their hopes never came to pass.
Before they could even cross the Pacific clutching their bruised backsides, the red truth James Serget had meticulously gathered was dropped across the entire United States.
The first reports to break were from Britain.
Articles citing the London Times struck the morning papers of New York and the South.
“What the hell is this? The KKK bastards wore white hoods and danced in Japan, only to be laughed at by the British?”
“What? They almost got sued by Japanese merchants for trying to teach English with a whip?”
The articles vividly described incidents of the KKK nearly starting fires while attempting campfires in factories, and being chased out after performing grotesque rituals in front of gathered Japanese.
Even the British minister's sarcastic remark—“Does America export circus troupes?”—left proud Americans burning with shame.
But the true finishing blow came afterward.
The facts from Joseon were brutal.
So brutal that one wanted to squeeze one's eyes shut in disbelief.
They had not been martyred while spreading the faith, nor had they died gloriously while demanding trade.
Drunk in a foreign restaurant, they had urinated into the locals' rice bowls while declaring, “This is the white man's blessing,” only to be wrapped in straw mats and beaten to death by enraged farmers.
When this shocking truth spread, the entire South fell silent, as if doused with cold water.
The gentlemen they had hailed as heroes only yesterday had, in fact, behaved worse than common thugs and died abroad.
Unable to endure the cognitive dissonance, the Southerners reversed their stance faster than light.
“…KKK? Who were they again?”
“I… I knew this would happen. From the moment those bastards started roaming around in hoods, I could tell. They were nothing but loudmouthed bigots!”
“Wizards and dragons… God, to think I supported those bastards!”
Curses erupted in every tavern.
“Damn it… Now all of Asia will think Southerners act like that! There's a limit to international disgrace!”
“Not just Asia—they've been branded idiots even in Britain! Who the hell sent those bastards? It wasn't Chairman Serget, was it?”
“Are you insane? Why would the Chairman use idiots like that? They went on their own!”
“Those crazy KKK bastards! Disband them immediately!”
Yesterday's heroes became today's bastards in an instant.
Of course, the most dumbfounded were those in the White House who received the news.
William Seward's office in Washington, D.C.
William Seward trembled as he clutched the newly arrived telegram.
“Deaths… beatings… expulsion…”
When he first heard the news, Seward had inwardly rejoiced.
Southern gentlemen had met a tragic end in barbaric Joseon?
What better pretext could there be?
His mind had already conjured a magnificent plan: dispatch a fleet under the pretext of protecting citizens, fire a few cannon shots, and force the country open.
He had leapt to his feet to meet Lincoln at once.
[Cause of death: While heavily intoxicated, urinated into locals' dining ware and mocked them, resulting in a group beating.]
“……”
Seward sank back into his chair.
“Mr. Secretary, the story has already spread widely through the newspapers. How… shall we issue a statement condemning Joseon?”
At his aide's question, Seward clutched his head.
“Condemn them? On what grounds? This ridiculous article has already gone out nationwide.”
“W-well, that is true, but…”
“Wait. I need a moment to organize my thoughts.”
The truth that had reached him was beyond imagination.
Even for Seward, whose soul burned with imperialistic expansionism, it was impossible to cry “Joseon, you scoundrels!” on such an absurd pretext.
Yet doing nothing was also not an option.
No—it had to be handled.
The fact that American citizens had been beaten to death was undeniable.
If mishandled, the image of the United States—and of white men—could be dragged through the mud across Asia.
“These insane white man's burden bastards!”
As William Seward roared, James Serget merely sipped his tea quietly.
He maintained an expression of genuine surprise, as though he had not anticipated this news at all.