First Gate Dive and Goblin Head Smoothie

I stepped outside without a second thought after chugging the Goblin Head Smoothie. The familiar street I'd walked a million times came into view.

"I'm out, but now what...?"

I'd bolted on pure impulse, but since I'd rushed out so fast, I had zero clue where to go or what to do next.

"...Maybe sit down and think first."

After wandering aimlessly down the sidewalk for a while, I spotted a bench. I plopped down to rest and pulled out my phone from my pocket.

"Ah, damn, need an ID card huh..."

It was a post I'd checked on the gallery just in case, but of course, no easy fixes.

Being turned into a girl had already made my ID useless, and even if not, people said it took about three weeks—21 days flat—to get an awakener registration after awakening. No time for that when my quest deadline was just one day.

"Sigh..."

Basically, I was an illegal awakener right now, unregistered. The gates in that post were all regulated—government or guild ones. They definitely had mana detectors or something.

"This is tricky..."

I could probably bust through somehow, but getting caught? Game over.

I was already stumped on what to do. That's when it happened.

Beep- Beep- Beep-

"Oh..."

My phone screen flashed red, with "EMERGENCY" in big letters and smaller text below.

"Emergency disaster alert? Gate evacuation?"

From the vibe, it looked like a gate was spawning nearby. People around me scattered all at once. I got up from the bench to follow them, but...

"Wait... isn't this actually perfect?"

Thinking it over, this could be my shot—no checkpoints, ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠straight into a gate.

And right on cue.

Vwooom-

"Whoa..."

A blue storm of spacetime about the size of five people swirled into existence right in front of me.

"Holy crap... talk about lucky?"

It popped up right in front of me. Didn't look too dangerous at a glance. High-rank gates from old news or gallery posts were massive—big enough to swallow a few buildings.

Whoosh-

As I crept right up to it, a cool breeze brushed my ear.

Gulp.

"Spacetime storms are the best!"

Savoring the wind, I gripped my cheap kitchen knife tight and leaped straight inside.

Vwooom-!

"Huh? A forest?"

Stepping through, a drab, dark forest stretched out ahead. I'd just been surrounded by skyscrapers, so real trees everywhere nearly bluescreened my brain.

"So this is what gate-diving feels like... I love it."

As a one-armed nobody, I'd never dreamed of porter gigs, let alone riding a gate. Made it feel even more novel.

"Whew—alright, let's do this."

I shook out my hair, pulled down my hoodie, and lightly hefted the knife. No clue what to do or where to go, but walking around should turn up a goblin or two, right?

I charged straight ahead without hesitation.

How long had I walked?

"This is boring..."

No goblins, no slimes—nothing, no matter how deep I pushed into the woods. Gates blocked signals too, so no gallery on my phone.

"Ugh, this boredom is next-level nope."

Just as tedium had my hands shaking, a rustle.

Kerrk-

"Gah?!"

Green skin, long ears and nose—ugly little bastard. A goblin entered my sight.

'Is that... a real goblin? Looks so weird.'

Goblins from games, gallery pics, or webtoons ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠always looked familiar. This? Way stranger than expected.

'No, snap out of it.'

Government or guild hunters could raid ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠anytime. I crept up quietly, minimizing footsteps, toward the goblin scouting around.

Kerrk?

It looked kinda dumbstruck. Sneaking closer, it didn't notice.

Staring at it, I recalled the skill description.

'Ingredient... it's an ingredient... ugly green bean sprout head.'

Sounds dumb, but to trigger Hell's True Taste, this was it. Only way my pea brain could hack self-hypnosis.

"Now!"

As the goblin morphed into bean sprouts in my head—

Kerrruk-?!

I lunged, slashing its neck.

Shlick-

Ke...!

"Whoa!!!"

Its bean sprout—er, head—severed clean in a flash. Blood gushed from the stump.

Lucky I backpedaled quick; no bloodbath on me. But... weird feeling.

Then—

"Oh! Nice, something like that exists?"

A savior for my trash stats: free stat points. Basically boosts stats by the point value. Mine were so pitiful, even 1 felt like rain in a drought—heavenly.

"Phew... but more importantly, this skill feels off."

Calming my excitement, I eyed the headless goblin.

My senses pegged my stats at middle-school girl level. Mana? Barely there, no idea how to use it. Yet with no mana and weak strength, I sliced bone and flesh clean?

There was a slight tug, but...

"...This ain't normal."

Half effect? Bullshit. Killing one goblin felt dramatic, but a thrill like euphoria hit—goosebumps.

"Ehehe... and stat boosts too. Heh."

Future looking bright, a creepy laugh slipped out.

Clap!

"No, chill!"

Almost forgot why I was here in the hype. One more goblin to go.

I closed the status window quick and moved on for the next.

Kerrk-!

'Heh, found ya.'

Soon spotted a lone one. Same setup, sniffing around the woods.

I sliced its neck quick like before.

Ke-!

Head popped off easy again. Staring at the clean cut, just a goblin kill felt like master swordsman shit.

"Yup~ this is me~"

Mid self-high—

"Wha... what? Smoothie?"

Quest clear? Got it. But Goblin Head Smoothie? Wtf.

Status window flashed in my mind.

"D-Do I have chef as my class or something...?"

Yeah, status said Chef. Explains the monster cooking recipes as rewards.

"No way, but turning that into a smoothie...?"

Two severed goblin heads right there. Why two? Picked up the first one's head just in case.

"Ahem..."

Okay, ignore the "beheaded general" vibe.

"So how do I...?"

NEW!

I opened the System for status, and a glowing Recipe button screamed for attention.

"Oh... this the recipe viewer?"

Rainbow shine was tacky, but screamed important.

"This is... insanely good?"

Thought it'd be some minor potion buff at best. Permanent stat up? Way better.

"Manual cook first then..."

I tapped View Recipe next to Manual Cook.

"Hm... expected it, but damn."

Grotesque recipe, straight-up. Name gave it away, but still shocking.

Real issue though?

"Blender..."

No blender at home. Barely scraping by day-to-day, y'know? Mana powder? All used on Underworld Pasta. No choice.

"Ugh... 50% sucks, but..."

"Screw it!"

With resolve, I hit Instant Cook. The goblin heads on the ground dissolved into blue particles, sucked into the System window.

Ding-!

"Ooh..."

Microwave chime later, two glass potion bottles dropped into my hand.

"Save one just in case."

Stashed one deep in my pocket with the knife, examined the other.

"Smoothie my ass—what's with the look?"

More potion vial than drink bottle. Green liquid inside? Total potion vibes.

Bigger problem:

"Ugh... appetite killer color..."

No way I'd put that near my mouth. Weird green chunks floating—looked nasty. Half-expected, but nope.

"But... gotta eat it, right?"

I'm Korean grit. Pinched nose, chugged the Goblin Head Smoothie(?).

"Mmgh..."

Despite nose-block, foul whiff nearly made me hurl, but held it down.

Gulp.

"...Ack!"

"It's... tasty?!"

Unlike the stench and looks, it tasted surprisingly good.

***

Meanwhile, outside the gate.

"Heard a gate popped nearby, check it out and what?! A girl?!"

"How do you even manage this?!"

"W-Wait, I don't know either! Please stop...!"

Brown-haired woman in casual blue jacket, iced Americano in one hand, shook the suited sunglasses guy like a ragdoll, grilling him.

"Calm down, Yunha. Gate just opened, we can rescue her."

Black-haired woman appeared behind them. In Chinese-style black xia-ke outfit, she soothed Yunha and approached the gate.

"Good thing it's not high-rank..."

Eyed the gate like appraising it, glanced at Yunha, then stepped in.

"Ah...! Cheonhwa! Take me too!"

Yunha glared at the suit guy once more, then dashed after her into the gate.