Scorpion Barbecue Sauce
"Holy shit, I really thought I was done for..."
My breath came in ragged gasps, like my lungs were being torn apart. I'd barely escaped that unknown worm—some kind of Cleaner—and ducked into a cave. Only then did I start feeling like I might live. The Cleaner must've realized I'd slipped away; its massive body twisted around and lumbered off.
"Yeah, fuck off already. Hoo..."
Relief washed over me now that I was sure I'd survived.
"So, did I clear it? Where's my reward?"
I caught my breath from the tension and pulled up the tower message that had popped up right in front of me moments ago.
You have cleared Floor 6.
??? Difficulty Bonus applied.
You have acquired 15 Free Stat Points, 10 Shop Points, and 600g of Low-Grade Mana Stones.
"...That's pretty stingy for a near-death experience."
The rewards felt way too skimpy compared to the all-out sprint I'd just pulled to escape that worm. A few points and some mana stones weren't enough to trigger that dopamine rush. If they'd thrown in just a bit more, it would've been perfect...
"Whatever, let's head home first."
The tower was never that generous anyway. I gave up on expecting more, grabbed my extra loot and mana stones, and headed back.
The moment I got home, I plopped down in front of my computer. Time to research that Desert Cleaner I'd run into today—and get a better grasp on the tower itself.
"Let's see... Cleaner, Desert Cleaner..."
I scoured galleries, forums, every corner of the internet.
Maybe there'd be some solid info on Cleaners. After a while of surfing...
(Photo of a massive Cleaner swallowing a giant fireball)
Holy fuck, how do you even take down the 30th floor Cleaner? It eats every spell you throw at it. Debuffs? Only speed reduction sticks, nothing else. And it's so goddamn huge, melee dealers can't do shit. Third try already;; What the hell am I supposed to do, you fuckers?
(Frog-face commenter turning beet red)
"Wait, I fought one on floor 6?"
The post's content hit like a truck.
"No way the difficulty gap is this huge?"
Hard mode had it on floor 30, but I'd faced one on 6? It was ridiculous. Sure, my quest was just to run away, and the goal was close by. But the difference between Hard and ??? difficulty was insane. Now I finally got what ??? meant.
"Haa... fuck."
I scratched my head furiously.
"Eh, whatever. It'll work out somehow."
No guarantee it'd show up again anyway. And if it did, I'd prep better or just book it. The tower had some conscience—at least it was an escape quest, not a kill.
I shook my head, got up from the computer. If I'd felt a crisis, time to act on it. That's why I'd brought back the tower loot in the first place.
I grabbed the bag I'd tossed in the corner and headed to the kitchen.
"Let's check—did I grab everything?"
I rummaged through the bag I'd dumped anywhere.
"Yup, all here."
Right on top: poison sacs, mana stones, scorpion meat chunks. Good thing I wasn't dumb enough to leave anything behind.
"Stash the mana stones first..."
I chucked the visible stones aside and pulled out the real prizes: poison sacs and scorpion meat, laying them out.
"Alright, let's make it right now."
I summoned the system window and hunted for the recipe.
Scorpion Barbecue Sauce
Effect: Extremely potent poison that melts skin.
Instant Cook | Manual Cook
"Found it."
This was the Scorpion Barbecue Sauce recipe I'd snagged last time.
"Hm... is this even 'cooking'?"
I hesitated for a sec.
...Eh, whatever. The description makes it sound more like poison than food. But I wasn't making it to eat anyway.
"Time to whip up a feast for my monster pals."
Not for me—for the tower's monsters. You think I'd shove something advertised as poisonous in my mouth? I'm not that stupid.
"Hehe~ Grandma's gonna cook up something yummy for her little monsters."
Is this how grannies feel on holidays? Imagining the monsters chowing down happily on my tasty dish already warmed my heart.
Grinning contentedly, I hit manual cook and scanned the recipe.
Scorpion Barbecue Sauce
- Finely mince garlic and onion.
- Melt butter in a pan, sauté the minced onion and garlic.
- Add finely ground mana stone powder and burst scorpion poison sacs, then stir-fry.
"Ooh, nice and simple recipe for monster baby food."
Just thinking about feeding this to monsters made my stomach feel full already. I grabbed garlic and onion from the fridge and started mincing.
"Ow, spicy..."
The onions and garlic assaulted my eyes, tears streaming, but for my monsters? This was nothing.
"Okay... now sauté in the pan."
I tossed in some butter I'd bought last time, added the onion and garlic, and slowly caramelized them to perfection.
Admiring the beautiful browned result, I dumped in the poison sacs and mana stone powder, mixing vigorously.
The pan shifted from golden brown to a deep, ominous purple in seconds. What started as half a joke now sent chills down my spine as the purple goo writhed and bubbled.
"...I'm insane."
Visually, this was the grossest thing I'd ever made—top of the trash heap. Was this too far? Then it hit me.
"But I'm not eating it."
Right? Monsters would. So who cares?
Thoughts raced, but my hands kept going. I used every last poison sac and nearly half the reward mana stones.
The finished product?
"...Thirty-four, thirty-five. Holy shit."
Thirty-five ziplock bags of barbecue sauce.
Meanwhile, in a Gangnam office.
Boom!
"Urk, no way. Horus... when did your power return...?"
"Shut up, you filthy bastard."
Bodies littered the half-destroyed floor, the metallic tang of blood thick and vibrating in the air.
In the center, Sio pointed her sword at a man. He was a battered mess, barely able to stand.
Sio glared at him like she could kill him any second.
"No warnings—bring me Aphrodite's Mirror right now."
"Ha! A bit of power back and you're arrogant. Without reabsorbing that mirror's ability, you're nothing..."
A wave of intense mana pulsed from Sio, pressing down on him. Any normal person would've crumpled, but he snarled back defiantly, like go ahead, try me.
Sio just smiled, like that's what she wanted.
"Fine, if you won't talk, no choice."
"What're you gonna do? A wingless eagle like you...!"
The man charged, swinging his sword. The gap closed fast, but Sio didn't flinch.
"Horus's Eye."
Like a hawk patiently awaiting prey, her golden eye gleamed with its signature pattern.
Swish—
She swung silently.
Slash—
"Fuck..."
The air split; the man's vision tilted as he fell.
"All that's left is the mirror."
Sio glanced pityingly at the collapsing body, flicked blood from her blade, and moved to find it.
Navigating the office strewn with battle scars, she heightened her senses for the mirror linked to her power. Golden mana threads matching hers stretched out.
She followed them slowly.
"This psycho hid it real good."
At the thread's end: a massive vault. Layers upon layers—who knew how many?
Swallowing a torrent of curses from her dantian, she called in her vault expert.
"Taejun, open this for me."
"Ah, yes, one sec."
Taejun appeared casually, like it was routine, and approached the vault.
"Locked up tighter than a fortress. Why bother this much for something you stole?"
He shook his head in exasperation, placed his hand on it. Sio shot him a hurry up look.
"Gate Open."
Click—
With his short chant, locks disengaged one by one.
Satisfied, Sio entered, grabbed the mirror.
And then.
"Time to go find it. Our One Piece."
"Even here you talk manga..."
The lingering golden mana in the mirror surged into Sio.
She grinned playfully, but her eyes burned with hunger for her goal.