Settlement

Settlement. "Humans desire the desire of others." That's a line from the French psychoanalyst Jacques Lacan. Rather than chasing what we truly want, we unconsciously crave what others value, what others admire. Desire begets desire. I'd call it the cycle of desire. And capitalism acts as the lubricant keeping that hamster wheel spinning. Internet streaming—this massive blob of desire—was a colosseum where Lacan's philosophy played out in raw, brutal clarity.

The object of tens of thousands of viewers' frenzy and praise. The top predator in Battlelands' kill bet scene, coveted and recruited by Odin and Zeus themselves. A rookie streamer. Overnight, the name "Lee Jua" became the new object of desire in Prism's Battlelands scene. And at the center of it all was me, letting out a deep sigh in front of my monitor.

"...To think my ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠hard-earned cash has to bleed out under the guise of 'investment.'"

Viewers slandered me, dumped on me, attacked me. The good old days of chatting cozy with single-digit viewers were gone. After the collab with Odin and Zeus, my channel's followers exploded like crazy. Subscribers started buying sub rights. Donations rolled in regularly. Even my play clips got uploaded to NutTube.

But aren't the copyrights for my play videos mine?

Didn't know who posted without permission, but they meticulously uploaded everything from my solo runs to squad plays where I bossed around Odin and Zeus. Looked like my own NutTube channel.

Not the issue right now.

The biggest problem hitting me now that I'd grown was gear issues.

"Guys... if the mouse keeps jittering, shouldn't I just get a cat?"

It was the 10,000-won mouse I'd used since my Lee Jinsu days. The junker finally hit its limit—swipe left and it shoots top-right. Not just that; scroll up and it goes down. Pull a frag grenade and it double-clicks, yeeting it out. A fatal blow right as I dove into serious kill bets, competing with the rotten pros.

The 29,000-won stand mic that got me flamed from stream start was acting up too. Voice gets loud? Push it away. Voice soft or need emphasis? Pull it in. Inevitable drrr noise. But viewers had no mercy for that.

They had a point. Earn money, invest it. Novels say masters don't blame gear, but every craftsman I knew bitched about tools. Some wouldn't work without DeWalt. Even peak-skill vets cared about gear. So a rookie like me? A day laborer at best? Gear carry is the norm.

So I fired up the browser. Searched universal streaming gear Prism streamers used. Odin's Razer G Pro Superlight 2, aka JeSuRa2. A whopping 220,000 won. Zeus's Razer DeathAdder V4 Pro. 260,000 won. Other recommended gaming mice: 100k-200k range. Condenser mics: hundreds of thousands. Peeked at top-tier, saw hundreds of thousands, noped out.

Viewers said some audio interface crap—also hundreds of thousands.

"F...fuuuuck..."

The curse slipped out. Chat spewing gear quotes; rough mental math.

Mouse 200k, mic+audio interface 500k, monitor 400k. Full PC rebuild? At least 3 mil won gone. And RAM shortage or whatever—prices 10x up. Why's everything rise but my value?

"No... does clicking a 200k mouse mine gold or what...? And why swap monitor/PC? I chicken-dinner fine on this rig."

Day 4 of streaming, donations hit a whopping 2 million won. Odin/Zeus collab impact massive. That's why 500 viewers—an insane number.

But past donations are just that—past. New gear/investments? After new pulls. Learned from a VTuber post-broadcast. She got verbally wrecked by viewers, but truth hurts. Her words: eternal law for streamers, gospel to me.

I gripped the 29k mic.

Drrr—

Eardrums bleeding.

"...How about just the mouse for now? If I get hooked on fancy new tech, might impulse-buy the rest."

"Gasp."

Chat mood turning sour. Like the Bastille mob's rage. Proletariat revolution brewing. Peaceful chat gone. Viewers furious. Wildfire signs.

"W-wait, comrades! Calm down! We can talk this out!"

Panicking, I snatched the 29k mic.

Drrr—

Perfect timing, stand screeching too. Even this junk gear turning on me, vanguard of the revolution.

Chat united as one. Hundreds unified in seconds. Hated myself for it but kinda proud. Trolling viewers is a streamer's duty. Pissing them off is the calling. Following my now-guru VTuber's golden rule, I strode forward as a streamer.

"Guys... do I really gotta buy this? Any mouse works if aim's good, right... Daeso mouse fine...?"

"A-alright! Clicking! I'm clicking!"

Caved to revolution-threats, squeezed eyes shut, hit buy on cart: JeSuRa mouse, condenser mic, mystery audio interface.

"Huh?"

What the fuck, my money.

"Guys, wait—I've never settled donations once?"

Prism settles faster/freer than others. Apply Tuesday, most paid Thursday.

Is this free? Others monthly?

My panic real. Lucky donations, lucky viewers—but day-4 streamer. No clue on platform systems.

"Uh... pull my donations first? Today's content: donation reveal!"

"Crazy...? Like yagal or something?"

These kids these days... abbreviate... everything...

"Look up slang later... anyway, let's go get my money."

Fumbled stream corner menus, finally found settlement screen.

The moment I saw that number, something ached deep in my chest.