2. Lee Jua
"Hmm... hmm...? Hmm hmm... I see."
That thing laid out neatly on the bed. Luckily, no lace or any frilly decorations. At least it was the most plain beige color. I picked it up. Turned it this way and that, inspecting it. Simple yet somehow complicated-looking. Where the hell do you even start putting this on? No time for pondering—better to just try. I roughly slipped both arms through and twisted it around to the back. I could feel the hooks with my fingers, but since I couldn't see them, I had to go by feel alone. My hands slipped once, twice, three... times.
"Ow."
Every failed attempt made the bra's fabric brush against parts I really didn't want it touching. ...Lock it in the front? A genius idea hit me since I couldn't see the hooks in the back. But. When I looked down to line them up... something I'd been desperately ignoring came into view. That thing... it was... indescribable... anyway, you get it. I swallowed hard. Why the hell is there saliva? Staring at the two peaks with as blurry a gaze as possible, I finally hooked it. Then I swung the hook part back around to my back and slipped the shoulder straps(?) over my arms. It seemed sorta kinda on right... but it felt too tight, kinda scratchy, and the discomfort was beyond words. No clue if this was normal or not. Well, at least it was cupping my chest properly, so maybe it was correct. Unfamiliar contours, unfamiliar lines, unfamiliar sensations. A faint sense of something disheveled settling into place mixed with the awkward, queasy discomfort. It was weird, bizarre. Felt like something was fundamentally wrong. Like accidentally walking into the women's bathroom. Guilt? Depravity? A strange thrill? Couldn't pin down the emotion. One thing was clear: I wanted to rip this bra off right now.
But. ...Can't go around braless.
I threw on a black T-shirt over the bra, then draped my old favorite gray hoodie from my Lee Jinsu days over that. Way too big. The hem hung almost to my knees, and the sleeves were wide enough to fit a leg through. My underwear had switched to women's sizes, and even my shoes had adjusted to my new female foot size. But for some reason, my clothes were still in Lee Jinsu's old proportions. Guess the nameless god who turned me into a woman skimped on the service.
"...Man, even dressed like a total hobo, it looks like fashion."
Looking in the mirror, I saw a wistful beauty channeling hipster cosplay. They say men see their strengths first in the mirror, women their flaws—that's why guys get so narcissistic in the shower. But as a guy-turned-girl, maybe that's why all I could do was gawk in admiration. The prettier I looked, the more I stared. Couldn't tear my eyes away. I could've gazed forever, but work waited. Kinda embarrassing to admit I was smitten with my own reflection, so I sniffed and headed out.
Home to the office was a 20-minute walk, but men's and women's strides differ. Walking speed too. Couldn't risk being late on day one, so I left 40 minutes early. Thank God I did. Every step sent alien sensations jiggling in my chest. Stuffy. My already small lungs felt crushed, breath catching like I was jogging in a KF94 mask. Plus, my center of gravity had shifted, making my gait all awkward.
Hoo... hoo... Picked up the pace a bit, and already out of breath. Could this body even handle logistics work? Anxiety hit hard, but with living expenses pressing, no time for doubts. Had to make it work.
Finally out of the alley, and I started feeling eyes on me. Glances—sneak peeks turning into stares. Guys walking by gawked, startled, then whipped back around after passing. A group of high school girls whispered as they passed.
...What, am I getting judged for dressing like a bum? A Lee Jinsu-era thought flashed, but I realized quick that wasn't it. No one'd bat an eye at an idol-level face and figure waddling around in oversized dad-clothes stolen from the laundry. Of course heads turned.
This... the stares women feel? As a guy, I'd never imagined such blatant ogling. A man staring at another man like this? That's a challenge to throw down. Eyes trailed from my face to chest, hips, legs—and they'd snap away pretending not to notice. Kinda flattering, like Look at me go! But also creepy as hell.
...Being a guy, I know exactly what's in their heads. Sleazy, perverted. Pure lechery. No wonder pretty girls fear dark alleys. Walking alone at night with a guy eyeing her like that? I'd wanna deck him.
Forcing myself to ignore the stares, the office came into view before long. Logistics folks usually shuttle from set spots or ride vans from the office. Personal cars? Team leader types or bored middle-class folks craving hard mode. Albas like me head to the office and pile into vans with the ajusshis.
I pushed open the door. Mix coffee and stale cig smoke wafted up. Homey for Lee Jinsu, alien for Lee Jua.
"Hello, uncles!"
No ajusshi ever hated my booming greetings. Even prickly site supervisors muttered, That kid's got a solid first impression. All eyes from the coffee-sipping ajusshis snapped to me.
"...?"
"......"
No welcomes. Back in my Lee Jinsu days at Daegeon Construction, they'd swarm: Yo, new guy? Built like a tank!Damn, he's solid. Now? Blank stares.
"Um... miss? Think you've got the wrong place?"
Like I'd defiled their sacred logistics den. Piercing glares bored into me.
"Wrong place? No! I've always admired logistics work, and this opportunity brought me here! Where's the team leader?"
Ajusshis gaped. Me, welcomed everywhere from construction to logistics, treated like this? Infuriating. Had to prove myself. They wouldn't even say where the team leader was, but office ecosystems are predictable. The guy in the nicest DuoBack chair, sipping mix coffee from a handled paper cup holder while... wait, no, staring at me. That's him. 100% Kim Team Leader.
I strode over and stood before his desk. Bowed at a perfect right angle to show respect.
"Hello, Team Leader! Lee Jua here. For sorting."
"Uh... uh? Uh... y-yeah... Lee Jua-ssi? Uh... um... sure."
He stammered, looking up. His eyes ping-ponged from my oversized hoodie to my skinny legs that'd snap under a low kick. Scanning top to bottom.
A team leader should hype the newbie or throw a scare—but no.
"Whoa... wow... why'd someone like you come here?"
Pure condescension. Can that frail body work? Lift a box with those arms? Stand on those legs? He didn't say it, but clear as day.
"I'll work hard. I know the basics of the center. Give it my all."
Silence in the office despite my fire.
"Heh... alright, let's go. Van's coming soon—grab a coffee. Want me to make one?"
Obvious dig: Even mix coffee's beyond this wimp.
"...No thanks. I'll make it."
Pathetic.
In the van to the logistics center. Newbies usually get the grilling: Where you from? Army? How long you sticking? Gym? No bailing, or we hunt you down—flush you out the john if we gotta. Rough bonding and tension-breaking roasts—logistics ajusshi national rule.
But dead quiet now. Driver ajusshi. Two in the middle with Kim Team Leader. Two crammed in back. Shockingly, I was shotgun. Refused, but they insisted. Kept refusing, they'd never leave—so whatever, hopped in.
Backseat ajusshis and Kim flinched at eye contact, fake-gazing out windows or at nothing, fake-coughing. Driver stared ahead like a nervous newbie. I'd been ho-humming with them five minutes in back then. Now? Eye contact like the plague.
No room for my usual charm.
"Hey, Kim Team Leader, how's the love life?"
"...Outta nowhere? You know I'm single."
"That's why! Look around—dash at a patient, pretty girl! A guy like you won't get rejected anywhere! Women should doll up, snag a good man, and date—that's the best."
Backseat ajusshi prying into Kim's romance. Shouldn't that be for the newbie—me? Asking a buddy instead? Isolating me. Or old-man shade: Girls belong at blind dates, not here.
Some ajusshis play shy with strangers, but outright exclusion? Never dreamed. My construction ajusshi big data said this was Frail thing like you? You'll bolt anyway—why bother? Preemptive boot.
First social shift post-womanhood: logistics ajusshi cliques. Something bubbled inside, but I gripped my hoodie sleeves and held it. Blow up? See? Bitch just yells! Get out! Booted for sure. Social misfit incoming.
Grinding my teeth through the scorn, the center loomed. Massive trailers growling like beasts, conveyor belts humming nonstop. Minkuk Logistics Daejeon Hub (Sintan Hub). Familiar noise, dust, exhaust—like coming home.