Five Desires and Seven Emotions (4)

A thought had just struck me—a desire smoldering up from somewhere deep inside, rising steadily until it could no longer be ignored.

The truth was, I'd noticed something lately: Lieutenant General Lilith treated me strangely well. I'd only ever seen her from a distance, frozen behind that perpetually icy expression, but up close she seemed to have a surprisingly warm heart underneath. So I'd gambled on a request that bordered on insolence—and sure enough, she'd granted it without a flicker of hesitation.

And so, after that series of exchanges, I was promoted to Captain Jim.

Honestly, my first impulse was to ask for Major while I was at it, but even I had a conscience. I knew perfectly well that my abilities fell a little short of field-grade officer territory. It was a shame, really—I was so close, and that one small gap would keep the rank of field-grade officer just out of reach. Still, it wouldn't be long now. A little more effort, and I'd arrive exactly where I wanted to be.

"Jim?"

"Captain Jim—ah, no, that's not what I— Yes, Saintess. What can I do for you?"

That was close. I'd nearly slipped. She couldn't possibly have heard, could she? But Irina's face wore its usual gentle smile. Right. Couldn't have heard. Even if she had, the moment she caught me ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠she'd plant a morningstar straight into my skull, so I'd know soon enough either way.

This was, after all, the woman who called demons vermin. I was only a half-vermin myself, but I rather doubted she made exceptions.

"I've been thinking that we may have been placing far too much of a burden on you lately, Jim."

"Oh, no. Those were simply duties I was meant to carry."

I responded with my usual humble composure. Only after speaking did a stray thought occur to me—what if I complained about how hard it was here? Could I actually quit? The notion flashed and died in an instant. There was no chance of that. The mood would just curdle the way it always did, and I'd go right on hauling the luggage forever.

"It must have hurt so much. So after a great deal of deliberation, I've decided that I…"

Irina paused mid-sentence, both her hands clasped around mine.

"I…"

Her cheeks flushed deeper by the second, a bead of sweat trailing down her temple. Was that also something one could call ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠holy water? I decided I'd call it that.

"I…"

"Yes, Saintess? Please, do go on."

She kept stalling on that I, unable to take another step, so I gave her a gentle push on the back.

Was it something difficult to say? Could she be about to confess to me? Given the way things had been going lately, I honestly thought there was a decent chance.

"I shall bestow a reward upon you, Jim."

Her choice of words sent one thoroughly indecent thought flashing through my head.

I came back to my senses quickly enough, but…

"Well? What do you think?"

It was awkward, yes—but it was also an expression I had never once seen on her before, something almost bewitching. Irina drew my hand toward her own chest, and I arrived at a simple conclusion: I had been right.

Which meant there was only one conclusion left to reach.

This was around the time Jim had been holding his secret communications with Lilith. And while Jim's cargo was being loaded onto the wagon and weighed, Esmeralda and Irina had been conducting a little conspiracy of their own, away from everyone's eyes.

"So what you're telling me is… Jim's current state is being whipped around by those Five Desires and Seven Emotions of his? That he's drowning in afflictions?"

The Five Desires: the five hungers of wealth, fame, food, sleep, and lust. And the Seven Emotions: joy, anger, sorrow, pleasure, love, hatred, and desire. Warnings handed down since antiquity for anyone aspiring to become a god—most deities worshipped by the various religious orders had shed exactly these afflictions before ascending. The Heavenly God was merely the most famous granter of miracles among them. Divinity had never been singular. And precisely because it was not singular, anyone, it was believed, could become a god. It was that very obsession, that clinging to the Five Desires and Seven Emotions while committing sin after sin, that had condemned the previous Pope of the Heavenly God Order.

"That unknown trait the Hero spoke of… it might well be the very culprit tormenting our Heavenly God—in other words, Jim himself."

"Uh, hmmm… you think?"

For Esmeralda, the idea that Jim was the Heavenly God simply refused to carry any conviction. Sure, he occasionally came out with remarks and behavior that could chill the air, but did any of it truly befit the dignity of a god?

"You can't deny the trait is what's made Jim act so strangely, can you?"

"Can't… I?"

Or was it the other way around entirely? For one instant that thought flickered through Esmeralda's mind, but she shook her head. There was no evidence for it. They were both guessing in the dark here, so pointless conflict was best avoided. Honestly, she couldn't have cared less.

"If that power is shaking the very foundation of the Heavenly God and holding him captive to the Five Desires and Seven Emotions, then we have a genuine crisis on our hands."

"What kind of crisis?"

"His divine standing could fall. He could be diminished as a god."

"I see."

Truthfully, Esmeralda could not have cared less. She had no god she believed in.

She still had her reservations about the whole Jim-is-the-Heavenly-God business, but she decided to defer to Irina's judgment for now.

"Which means we must let him be free. Even as we speak, his lust and his gluttony—and now even his greed—are beginning to surface."

"So what do we do about it?"

"……Perhaps we could… relieve him of a little of it?"

"Wow. Are you actually a Saintess?"

"I—yes, I am! …Do you have any idea how hard it is for me to say these things?!"

"And yet you said them anyway, didn't you."

This filthy woman. One look from Esmeralda was enough to silence Irina on the spot. It was one of the precious few moments in which she could hold the upper hand against her.

"So you'll be the one to do it, then?"

"……Pardon?"

"Don't tell me you were planning to make me do it. He's your Heavenly God, isn't he?"

"Uh… w-well, that is…"

"I'll say this up front: I'd sooner die. Unlike the rest of you, I don't look at Jim that way."

If anything, Esmeralda genuinely could not comprehend how anyone had developed feelings for that creature in the first place. Was he not a complete degenerate? Of course, that thought stayed strictly inside her head.

"O-of course! It— it has to be me!"

And with that, Irina declared her grand, resounding resolve.

Thus began the Jim Seduction Operation, launched upon the wings of Irina's grand resolve.

'Uh…? Uhhh…? Uhhhhhh?!'

Yes—this was her own attempt, clumsy as it was, to seduce Jim. Guiding his hand and placing it against her chest had seemed like a fine idea at the time, but…

'Uhhhhhh?!'

Squish, squish, squish, squish.

The instant Jim's hands began to move—without a single moment of hesitation—white light flooded Irina's mind, and she sank into pure, animal terror.

She had fully expected him to recoil. Her plan, such as it was, had been to talk her way through whatever embarrassment followed and gently soothe his desires back to sleep. A soft, beautiful, tenderly innocent sort of love—that was what she had imagined would begin here.

But Jim was a man who lived for today alone. A man who had survived three grueling years in the Hero Party. And no coward was about to pull his foot back from an opportunity that had walked right up to his face.

"Nnh! W-wait just a—"

Irina jolted and began backing away in a panic. But Jim matched her step for step, advancing in eerie lockstep with her retreat.

And so Irina withdrew, and Jim closed in like a man possessed, until—

Thud.

At last, her back met the wall.

There was nowhere left to run.

Jim's face, earnestly kneading her chest, was grave to the point of solemnity. He was toying with Irina's chest with the focus of a scholar at prayer.

"Uhh, w-wait a moment? Um, that is— nngh…"

Before long, Irina had degenerated into teary-eyed whimpering, unable to do anything at all. She was a veteran of every kind of political maneuvering and underhanded scheming imaginable—and yet, when it came to her first love, she was nothing more than a hopelessly green girl.

But someone came to her rescue.

Whack!

It was the Hero of Justice herself.

"Irina. What do you have to say for yourself?"

"Th-thank you for saving me…"

Esmeralda, having knocked Jim cold with a single blow to the back of his head, looked down at Irina with an expression of utter contempt as she asked.

"Saved you from what? Thanks to you, I'm the villain again. I just clobbered the head of an innocent man, after all. Naturally."

Esmeralda clicked her tongue at the sheer absurdity of the situation.

'I can't ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠believe I actually did it. And I never imagined that bastard would go through with it so brazenly, either.'

He must have been kneading with total concentration—he hadn't so much as noticed her coming up behind him. Clicking her tongue once more, Esmeralda laid the unconscious Jim carefully down on his back. Some scrap of human decency still remained in her; she had no wish to let him sleep twisted up on the cold floor with his mouth hanging open.

And Esmeralda had a duty, come what may, to deliver Jim into the Demon King's presence still a bachelor. Only then would this wildly unstable party hold together instead of collapsing outright.