Never Cross Dugun Dugun Heart Attack
They say tragedy has no legs of its own, which is precisely why it can arrive at your doorstep whenever it pleases.
The tragedy that had just come for Victoria was exactly that. Her face, already pale as fresh snow, drained of what little color it had left.
"R-right now... you're saying I'm the new member of Dugun Dugun Heart Attack...?"
"Yep! Of course! Anyone with a maiden's heart can become a girl-group idol!"
Jung Sujin murmured it to Victoria in a voice dripping with cutesy charm.
But I knew exactly what those words meant. Inescapable death. The odds of joining Dugun Dugun Heart Attack and living to tell about it were a measly ten percent.
Even an A-class, a walking natural disaster by human standards, is nothing in front of an S-class...
What if the entire audience and every staff member in this hall charged in at once to protect Victoria? They might actually manage to kill Jung Sujin. S-class or not — phenomenon-level or not — they were still made of flesh and bone.
But then what? South Korea would not survive the aftermath. Sacrificing that many A-class superhumans just to take her down would be catastrophic, and the shockwave would flatten Daejeon and every neighboring province along with it.
And that was the optimistic estimate. The instant Jung Sujin's rampage brushed against another S-class hero or superhuman, the explosions would chain-react. At that point, East Asia itself would not escape annihilation.
Victoria knows all of this too.
Refuse here and she dies on the spot. The least-worst option, then, was to become one of the girl-group members. But who in their right mind would volunteer for a job with a ten-percent survival rate? If I were in her shoes, I would be terrified out of my mind.
Unfortunately, there is absolutely nothing I can do.
If Jung Sujin ever took an interest in me as well, I would have no chance of escaping death at all...
But was I really supposed to just give Victoria up? If I did, there would be no avoiding 1,234 consecutive hours of being milked dry!
A skill to overcome your current crisis has been searched and bookmarked.
Check the Skill Shop and overcome this crisis!
At this point, I could tell the Status Window possessed some kind of will of its own.
I was created to help you conquer every female.
Then by whom? And why?
I was created by your will.
My will? I had never possessed anything of the sort. And even if I had, I certainly did not have the power to create something like this.
Everything must unfold according to your will. That is why I was created.
Words I could not begin to understand. Not that understanding them would change reality. I muttered the Skill Shop open.
Your words gain a mysterious, almost supernatural appeal. Even if they do not add up, the other party will listen — and in the end, they will be persuaded. However, if they listen for too long, the effect will fail to trigger. This skill can be toggled ON/OFF.
Cost:200P
True to its word, the Status Window had neatly fetched exactly the skill I needed. I could not decide whether to be grateful or deeply unsettled.
Purchase. I've Got Persuasive Power — ON.
I cleared my throat and started walking forward, slowly. My heart was hammering. What if the skill did not work on an S-class superhuman? What if I died for it?
Everything would go wrong. I swallowed hard and walked all the way to where Victoria stood.
"S-Sehyun."
"Wait. Yuri, I've got an idea."
"But..."
The old Han Yuri would have physically dragged me back by force. She did not. It had to be the submission. Good... With no one in my way, I walked right up beside Victoria and Jung Sujin without any trouble. My heartbeat only grew louder.
"U-um."
"Hmm?"
"Jung Sujin of Dugun Dugun Heart Attack?"
The moment I spoke her name, the radiance in her eyes snuffed out like a blown candle. Watching the life drain from those jewel-like emerald irises sent a genuine chill down my spine.
"And who might you be, calling my name like that?"
"I-I'm Baek Sehyun. I joined as stage crew for this performance."
"Never heard of you."
I was not dead. That was only natural, of course. Death in this woman's presence followed rules. Nobody had ever been killed just for speaking to Jung Sujin.
But you always had to be polite with her. Fail that, and you died. Jung Sujin only liked people with proper manners.
"Um, Miss Sujin... might I be so bold as to offer a word?"
"Hmmmm. Yes! You may!"
Good. I had permission. I had a skill now, but I could not assume it would work unconditionally. Arrogance was a death sentence.
I swallowed again and chose my words with extreme care.
"I-is there a reason Victoria would be a good fit for Dugun Dugun Heart Attack?"
"Hmm? Yes! Of course there is. First of all, she's got the visuals. As for singing and dancing, I can just teach her myself."
Talking to so many women lately had restored at least some of my ability to hold a conversation with another human being. Thanks to that, I did not completely lose the power of speech in front of Jung Sujin. I stammered, sure, but...
"But! She doesn't fit at all!"
"...Why not?"
"Victoria is Western. Dugun Dugun Heart Attack is K-pop!"
This was purely my own opinion, but it had a reasonable enough foundation.
"Of course, with globalization these days, foreign faces showing up in K-pop girl groups has become more common... but I've never heard of a Westerner actually joining as a member!"
It was a baseless personal impression, nothing more. For all I knew, some girl group I had never heard of already had a Black or white member.
But Jung Sujin was a native-born Korean, and a traditionalist at that. So... if I leveraged that, I might be able to stop Victoria from being drafted as a new member.
"Hmmmmm... but race isn't really a problem. I care more about pure talent than looks..."
"You might think that, but the fans won't. And neither will the 'higher-ups' who put out the merch and the albums."
Jung Sujin was an S-class superhuman who believed she was in a girl group. In other words, no such agency existed anywhere in this world.
There was a place that released her albums, of course. The problem was that it was a government institution.
The part about the higher-ups being unhappy was something I had completely fabricated. But Jung Sujin would accept it anyway — even if it felt off — just to maintain her concept.
"That does make sense. Hmmmm! Well, I suppose it can't be helped. I'll have to consult with the agency and recruit a new member some other way! Aww! And it was such a good show, too!"
It worked. I had somehow gotten through it...! Without the skill I had just bought, Jung Sujin would have murdered me on the spot!
Please, please don't let a quest to conquer this woman pop up.
I really, truly hoped it would not. Even saying that much made my stomach turn.
That's something nobody knows~
Shut up. For fuck's sake! Don't pipe up until I talk to you first!
"Ahem! Ahem! By the way, what was your name again?"
"Ah, I'm Baek Sehyun."
"Sehyun, Sehyun! What a nice name. I'll remember it."
She really did not need to remember it... Still, I would never have to see this woman again, so I brushed it off.
"Well then, bye-bye!"
Jung Sujin drifted slowly backward. We did not dare let our guard down until her figure had completely vanished from sight.
Maybe five minutes passed. Victoria let out a long, heavy sigh of relief and came over to me.
"You're insane."
Not exactly what you say to the person who just saved your life. But I understood where she was coming from. If I had tripped the wrong trigger and set that woman off, everyone in this hall would be dead.
"I just had conviction, that's all. Break the rules and you die. Stay inside the rules and you can do whatever you want without dying. Isn't that how it works?"
A lie. I had been scared out of my goddamn mind. Scared enough that I genuinely thought I was about to die.
"Hoooo... Well. Fine. It all worked out in the end. Thank you. You saved my life."
"Don't mention it. I just did what needed to be done."
"No!"
Victoria smiled brightly and looked me straight in the eye.
"Give me a chance to repay you."
"Uhm... a chance to repay me?"
What I wanted to say was, spread your legs right now. But that was the kind of thing only a complete lunatic would actually say out loud. I decided to phrase it more indirectly.
"Just buy me a drink. That'll be enough."
"Pardon? Are you serious?"
"Of course. That's more than enou—"
"No. You just asked a Russian to go drinking with you."
Ah. So that was what she meant.
A faintly ominous feeling crept over me.