One More Pair of Hands
"Sir Joaquin. Before anything else, kindly put away what you've drawn."
Joaquin's sword was leveled dead between my eyes.
"Heh heh heh. I shall decide that according to your answer, Mr. Karon."
"A perfectly sound judgment, Sir Joaquin."
"No— why are you taking his side, my lady..."
"You don't need to know."
This was, without question, my house, and I had never imagined that staying alive inside my own house would prove this difficult. The one small mercy was that Eris remained seated, watching the three of us as if we were the most entertaining thing she had seen all day.
If she decided to join in too... I don't even want to picture it.
Honestly, I had thought that if the woman in question was Sir Joaquin's daughter, the terms weren't bad at all. She had been raised on elite maid training inside the territory since she was small, and thanks to Joaquin's devotion to the Duke she had held His Grace's confidence from childhood as well. The result was that she now served as Arie's personal maid.
The problem—
"First, put away any idle thoughts, Mr. Karon."
"I wasn't thinking anything at all, Sir Joaquin."
—was that her father was Joaquin.
"Sir Joaquin. To begin with, your daughter is not my type."
A brief silence settled. Then the sword crept closer.
"Why would you do that!"
"That, in its own way, offends me even more, Mr. Karon."
"That's completely unreasonable, Sir Joaquin!"
I was going to lose my mind.
"Hah..."
Joaquin let out a small sigh and drew the sword back from between my eyes.
"To begin with, His Grace's words themselves were surely not empty courtesy. He was most likely clearing a path so that you and I might both remain in the territory for a long time."
I was of the same mind. A blacksmith who could handle mana, and a loyal knight who had served for decades, were treasures within the territory.
"Yes... We'll be seeing her tomorrow regardless, so we ought to ask her wishes first."
"Ah, you need not worry about that."
"Pardon?"
Joaquin answered as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.
"Consent will never leave my daughter's mouth."
"And how can you be so certain?"
"Because I will see to it that it does not."
That's a threat, isn't it?
"When I tell you there is no need to worry on your own, this is me putting it kindly."
Instead of answering, I looked down at the sword.
"Well... understood, for now. Around what time should we expect you tomorrow?"
"We mean to depart about when the roosters crow, so once every piece of arms has arrived, the sun ought to be at its highest."
I nodded, then turned to Arie.
"You'll be preparing for the Debutante, my lady. I suppose I won't be seeing you for a while."
"Hmm. Who can say?"
"Pardon?"
She glanced briefly at Eris, then looked back at me.
"There simply isn't a better place than this for practicing magic."
"Isn't there a lawn practice ground inside the territory..."
"If I say there isn't, then there isn't."
"Ah. Yes, my lady."
An hour later, everyone departed with tomorrow promised between us.
I should wash the potatoes before I sleep.
And the next day—
"Mr. Karon. A maid's virtue is to accommodate her counterpart in all things."
"Pardon?"
"I have no experience with men, so I cannot be confident, but I will accommodate you to the very best of my ability. In what style and temperament would you prefer that I..."
"H-hold on a moment."
"Or would you rather we make a child at once? I have never received the education, but I have finished preparing my heart."
Disaster had struck.
Around the break of dawn, the roosters of the territory began to crow. Listening to them, I lit the forge, then tipped in a generous share of the potatoes I had left soaking.
The whole staff will be worked to the bone from first light. The least I can do is offer them a potato each.
A grand affair like the Debutante meant a great many butlers and maids would be run ragged for the foreseeable future. No question about it.
About ten minutes later, a long procession began to emerge from Duke Shale's castle.
"Oh... shit."
A handful of butlers were hauling carts loaded with statues, and several maids were straining to push carts packed with armor and swords. The trouble was that the end of the column was nowhere in sight.
"This is not the cushy life..."
A year had passed since I settled in this territory, and this was the moment the scale of the Debutante—something I had only ever seen inside the novel—became real.
Right. I'll just treat it like catching one massive job while running work details under a first sergeant. The Duke only sent it because it's a load I can finish by next week.
I set the potatoes into the forge and stepped out of the smithy. A maid came up before me.
"It has been nearly a year, Mr. Karon."
"Huh?"
It was Joaquin's daughter.
Wh-what was her name again?
I had seen her exactly once since coming to the territory, on the day Duke Shale handed me an abandoned smithy whole and entire. She had handled the paperwork then. One red eye and one blue, black hair gathered neatly inside a hairnet, and a catlike face—pretty, yes, but mysterious enough that it had branded itself into my memory on the spot. The problem was that her name had not come with it.
"Ah, hello."
And this woman was the one the Duke had arranged a match with.
"I am Christine."
"Pardon?"
"I thought you might not know my name."
"Ah... yes. Thank you."
She held her hands neatly together, looked at me, and inclined her head the slightest degree.
God, this is painfully awkward.
She had surely heard about the marriage talks as well. There was no chance Arie had kept quiet, and the Duke might even have delivered the news himself.
"If you haven't eaten, would you care for a potato?"
She was silent for a moment.
"Mr. Karon."
"Yes?"
"A maid's virtue is to accommodate her counterpart in all things."
……
"N-no. How can you say something like that..."
"What is the problem? I was taught that producing an heir after marriage is an important duty of a spouse to House Olivia."
I had no idea what sort of education maids received. And to think that this Christine was the one who enjoyed the Duke's particular favor. It was a world I could not understand, and one I had no particular wish to.
"Um... Miss Christine."
"Yes."
"Do you have feelings for me?"
Christine tilted her head.
"As of the present, I hold no particular affection."
"Then how can you speak of marriage, of making a child... things like that?"
"Affection, too, need only be learned."
Did someone take her brain apart and rebuild it with mana?
"In any case, no."
"Pardon?"
"There is something Lady Arie, whom you serve, once said to me."
"What was it?"
To think the words Arie had spoken to me would prove useful at a moment like this.
"She asked how anyone could fall in love with a person whose face they didn't even know."
"Do we not know each other's faces?"
"We know nothing but each other's faces."
In the middle of our back-and-forth, the household staff came into view far off, Joaquin and Arie at their head.
"I understand."
"Thank you for underst—"
"So I am not to your liking, Mr. Karon."
What?
"No, wait a moment. That's not what I—"
"Then I am to your liking?"
What the hell kind of insane binary is this?
"Mr. Karon~! Christine!"
Arie was walking on the air itself, one foot set atop a fallen leaf.
"...Let's speak again once the Debutante is over, Miss Christine."
"Yes. Understood."
"What were the two of you talking about?"
I looked past Arie. Behind her, Joaquin was sprinting toward us, his face gone red.
There really was no such thing as a peaceful day.
"You have arrived, Father."
"Hah... hah..."
Even as he gasped for breath, Joaquin kept glaring at me.
"Sir Joaquin. I didn't do any—"
"Christine. Why are you here."
"I was carrying out His Grace's instructions."
His breathing stopped for a moment.
"Instructions? What are you talking about."
At that, Christine drew a sheet of paper from her bosom.
"I came to deliver the list of articles requiring repair before the Debutante."
I was briefly startled.
What. She knows how to lie?
Arie, for her part, looked back and forth between us as if the whole scene delighted her.
"Mm... I'll head in first~"
"My lady?"
She did not so much as turn her head at my call.
"The potatoes look delicious."
Bang—
The moment she vanished, Joaquin, having caught his breath, planted himself squarely between Christine and me.
"Was that truly all that was said."
"No. We were just beginning to speak of the marriage as well."
"What?"
Joaquin's expression crumpled in an instant.
"Did I not plainly tell you yesterday to let it pass you by."
"No. To be precise, you said you would introduce me to a fine gentleman at a later time."
Listening to them, I felt my original personality trying to surface.
Is this really a conversation to have with a person standing right in the middle of it?
"Very well. Then why did you bring up the marriage."
Christine regarded Joaquin for a moment. Then she shifted her gaze toward me and spoke.
"Because Mr. Karon seemed a good person."
"Pardon?"
Honestly, setting good and bad aside, I could not fathom how she could say that about someone whose face she had seen exactly twice.
"Me?"
"Yes."
"Why?"
The answer that came from her was unexpected.
"Did you not offer me a potato?"
"What of a potato, that you would say such a thing."
"A maid must never eat before her master. She does not even indulge the thought that she is hungry."
At that, Joaquin's eyes began to waver.
"But the moment Mr. Karon saw me, he asked whether I was hungry and held out a potato."
"Uh..."
"Therefore. I judged him a good person."
Neither Joaquin nor I could manage a word. Our eyes met instead.
"...Let us go in for now, Mr. Karon."
"Yes, Sir Joaquin..."
"The two of you may enter first."
Just as Joaquin came up beside me, Christine spoke.
"And you, Miss Christine?"
"I will tidy outside a little with the other staff, then come in."
How she meant to tidy all those heavy things, I had no idea. I let out a small sigh and went over to her.
"Let's do it together."
"I am accustomed to it. I will be fine."
"I'm not accustomed to it, so I won't be fine."
"..."
I was looking at Christine's back, so I didn't quite see her face. Even so, her voice seemed to be smiling, just a little.
"One more pair of hands, then."