Chapter 37

Translator: True Detective

Chapter 37. Taming

The reason morning comes is because Eris-nim wakes up from sleep.

"Uuuuum…."

Warm. Soft. Cozy.

The blanket wraps Eris, and Eris is wrapped in the blanket.

Perfect symbiotic relationship. Eris and the blanket are one.

Cannot separate. Must not separate.

Knock knock.

"May I come in, Miss?"

Maid's voice.

"Hwaaaaam─"

Eris stretched instead of answering.

Taking that as a signal, the door opened and a maid holding a silver tray entered.

Steaming pumpkin soup. Freshly baked bread. And honey-like apples.

"Good morning, Miss Eri."

"Yeah. Morning."

Eris didn't move an inch on the bed.

The maid expertly placed the tray on the bedside table, scooped a spoonful of soup, and blew on it hoo hoo. And brought it to Eris's mouth.

Ah.

"Appetite is hearty today too."

"Hmph. Eri is in growth period. Will grow up fast and dominate this whole world."

When breakfast is over, next is grooming time.

"No, not there. A bit higher."

"Here?"

"No, not there. About 3 millimeters to the right."

"Here?"

"Angle is off! Ribbon's life is symmetry! Symmetry is providence of Mother Nature!"

Although making a troubled expression, the maid tied Eris's pink twintails again three times.

"Really, you are a high-maintenance miss. Letting you off because you're cute."

The maid pulled Eris's cheeks to both sides.

"Wh, What. Rude! Eri's cheeks are national treasure level! Can't touch for free!"

Eris struggled, but the maid's hands didn't fall off.

Squish squish.

Resentful.

Have feeling that something will happen if beckon with finger, but don't recall what to do.

The maid ravaged Eris recklessly and left the room as if satisfied.

A while later, Eris came to her senses and stood in front of the mirror.

Pink hair. Magenta pupils. Small and cute physique.

'Cute. Eris-nim is cute, therefore exists.'

To summarize:

Memory? None.

Where is here? Heard it’s North, don't know much except it’s cold.

Who is Eris? Cutest, most precious and special existence in the world.

Other information is nil.

But is she unhappy because of that?

Not at all.

Rather pleasant.

Bed is top-grade duck feather, meals are always delicious, people are kind.

"Hey, Mold."

Uninvited guest's voice breaking the peace of paradise.

Eris frowned and looked back.

Freya Grombalt.

"Who is mold! You barbarian!"

"Color is exactly mold color."

"This is pink! Pink! Symbol of cuteness!"

"Yeah, cute mold."

Freya grabbed the nape of Eris's neck.

"Don't just roll in room every day, let's see some sunlight."

"Hate it! Eri is indoor type beautiful girl!"

Drag drag.

"Aaaaaack! Outside is cold! Dangerous outside blanket!"

Eris was dragged leaving shoe marks on the floor.

'If only memory returns……!'

Tingling sensation in fingertips. Clearly there is something in Eris. If only can take that something out, feel like can suppress this red-haired barbarian in 3 seconds.

Outside Main Castle.

Frostgard's market street was full of vitality.

People carrying goods spewing white breath. Huge reindeer carts. Sound of chopping firewood. Smell of roasting meat.

"Ughhh."

Eris hid behind Freya. Gripped hem of clothes tightly and peeked only head out.

Northerners were coming and going.

Everyone ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠big. Wearing fur. Holding axes or hammers. Eyes are fierce.

'Barbarians.'

What happens if super-duper beautiful girl like Eris stands in the middle of these barbarians.

Kidnapping or looting.

"Miss Freya! Who is that kid? New child?"

A warrior approached.

'Came!'

Eris squeezed eyes shut.

"Yeah. Called Eri. Take good care."

"Haha, looks cute!"

Looks cute?

As expected then next is──

"Here, this."

Something was placed in Eris's hand.

Opened eyes.

It was dried fruit.

"Northern specialty dried apricot. Sweet so kids like it."

Warrior laughed heartily and passed by.

Eris looked down blankly at dried apricot in hand.

Next warrior.

"Oh my, this tiny thing came outside?"

Placed in hand was honey bread.

Next.

"Must be cold, wear this at least."

Placed on shoulders was small fur muffler.

Eris fell into confusion.

'What. Not attacking.'

Leather gloves. Taffy. Roasted beans.

Far from attacking, giving gifts.

Are barbarians broken? Or Eris's cuteness so overwhelming that protection instinct activated instead of attack instinct?

Eris walked the street with blank expression biting dried apricot in cheek, hands full of snacks.

Market corner.

Hulking old man was sitting on wooden chair. Wearing bear skin, huge war axe stuck in ground. Terrifying existence whose whole body is full of scars.

'Th, That is definitely Boss-class barbarian! Dangerous!'

Eris's legs stiffened.

"Oho, Freya. What is that tiny thing behind?"

Even voice is like thunder.

"Ah, Elder Brynjolf. This is what Black Knight picked up this time, how is she? Small and cute right?"

"Hiek! S, Save me! Eri is not tasty! Only bones! Eat this red hair here! Lots of muscles so chewy!"

Brynjolf twitched thick eyebrows, then took out something from bosom.

Something fist-sized.

Stone?

Trying to smash head with that?

"Here, take it."

Placed in hand was rugged looking cookie.

"Kids should eat well. So skinny. Will fly away in Northern wind."

Brynjolf laughed hoho and patted Eris's head pat pat.

That 'pat pat' was shock enough to cause concussion to Eris, but no malice felt.

Eris bit a mouthful of cookie in bewilderment.

Crunch.

Flavor of butter and savoriness of nuts spread full in mouth.

"……D, Delicious!"

"Right? My daughter-in-law baked it. Eat a lot and become strong. Only then can do axemanship at least."

Brynjolf nodded as if satisfied, and disappeared with heavy steps.

"That grandpa likes kids even with that face."

Freya shrugged shoulders.

"What. Not eating me?"

"Of course. Our Northern people look a bit rough but have lots of affection. Especially to small and weak things."

"Small and weak! Eri is petite and delicate!"

"Yeah yeah. Petite and delicate mold."

Eris looked around the market with cookie crumbs on mouth.

Fish shop uncle hands a slice of smoked salmon. Fruit shop aunt wipes apple and gives it. Passing warrior throws candy.

Eris's hands became full of food quickly.

Tension released. Wariness disarmed.

'Well educated barbarians for barbarians. Have eye to recognize Eris-nim's cuteness too.'

"How is it? North okay right?"

"……Normal."

That evening. Main Castle Dining Room.

Eris was full of expectation.

Because experience in market upgraded Eris's evaluation of North.

Dried apricot was sweet, cookie was crispy, smoked salmon melted in mouth. Northern food is rugged but tasty. No decoration but original taste of ingredients is alive.

Besides, said that pitch-black thing cooks directly tonight.

According to Freya, Black Knight has broken personality but cooking skill is decent.

'Hmph. That scary guy wearing apron and cooking? Will be unsightly.'

Eris's mouth corners went up.

Will laugh recklessly. No matter how scary guy, moment wearing apron dignity is halved.

Will aim for that halved gap and shoot Eris-nim's sharp venomous tongue.

Creak.

Dining room door opened, and Black Knight appeared.

Lace apron over black armor.

Black Knight put down large pot on table.

Thump.

Pot lid opened.

Whoooooosh──

Purple steam rose.

"……This, what is it?"

Eris's voice trembled.

On the plate, purple soup was contained.

Up to there can endure. Since there is purple sweet potato soup in the world.

But what is that tentacle writhing over soup?

And eyeball embedded in that lump looking like jelly? Think eyes met with me?

[Today's Menu: Health Food with Kraken Tentacle and Plant Roots]

AKA, losing round of 'Black Knight Cooking Roulette'.

Lucia already had nirvana expression.

She closed eyes, drew holy cross, and lifted spoon.

"Knight-nim's sincerity…… sincerity…… becomes bone and flesh……"

Mumbling like chanting spell, scoops one bite.

No expression change. Did she block taste sense already.

Freya sitting next was eating tentacle with fork calmly.

"Mm! Chewy! This has chewing taste. Perfect for beer snack?"

As expected barbarian.

Leona wrote something in notebook, then lifted spoon with serious expression.

"Magic concentration is high. Used rare ingredients. Better than decent elixir."

Lucia reached nirvana, Freya is barbarian, Leona is combat machine.

Left is only Eris.

Plate placed in front of her too.

Wriggle.

Cut tentacle piece on plate convulsed weakly.

Eris has weak stomach.

To her who grew up seeing only cute and pretty things, this cosmic horror level visual was hard to handle.

'Eat this? This? Eris-nim?'

Then, felt gaze.

Red glint.

Black Knight is staring.

Intense pressure spewing over helmet slit.

"Not eating?"

'Dissatisfied with my cooking?''Leaving food is sin to pay with death.''If leave, you become ingredient.'

Hiek.

Eris's face turned pale.

"E, Eating! Eating!"

Eris squeezed eyes shut, scooped a spoonful of soup with writhing tentacle and shoved into mouth.

Squish.

Worst texture. Slippery touch.

Feeling of sucker sticking to tongue then falling off.

Munch munch.

And…

Bang!

And exploding taste.

"……?!"

Eris's eyes opened wide.

Delicious.

Ridiculously delicious.

Visual is like devil's excrement from hell, but taste is heavenly banquet.

Deep and rich flavor. Umami wrapping tongue. Savoriness seeping out more chewed.

'Resentful……! Resentful but tasty!'

Munch munch.

Eris continued spooning with tearful eyes.

Pride hurt. Taste bud succumbing to bizarre food made by such pitch-black monster.

But hand doesn't stop.

Feeling strength surging inside body every time tentacle passes throat.

'Just wait, Black Knight! Someday definitely will pay back this humiliation!'

Eris glared at Black Knight with eyes full of determination.

……

Eyes met with red glint.

Lowered gaze in 0.1 second.

Glaring failed.

Watching Eris emptying bowl completely, Black Knight nodded as if satisfied.

Next day.

Eris headed to Lucia's office like habit.

Today's goal: Demand to play with me

"Sister~ Bored~ Play with me~"

"Eri, sorry but busy right now……"

Lucia's voice heard over documents.

Document pile.

No, mountain.

Mountain built with paper. Only Lucia's hand holding quill pen visible in mountain range gap.

Like castaway buried in avalanche sticking out only hand.

"Sister is always busy! Busy yesterday and busy today! Paper scraps more important than Eri?"

"Sorry, Eri… just finish this……"

Eris loitered around desk pouting.

Nothing to do. Bored. Maid No. 1 abandoned duty and doing boring paperwork.

Eventually picked up a sheet of document as hand went in boredom.

Action without much meaning.

Thought about doing origami maybe.

Letters entered eyes.

'Northwestern Sector Food Supply Status. Flour, Dried Fish, Salt…'

Ledger filled with complex numbers.

Letters were dense. Content ordinary child would run away with headache as soon as seeing.

But moment Eris's eyes scanned numbers.

Slide.

Food supply status. Warehouse inventory check. Expected consumption calculation.

Information input, operation performed, error detected.

'This is wrong.'

Eris's eyebrow twitched.

"Sister, number wrong here."

"……Eh?"

Lucia's quill pen stopped.

"Third line. Reduced from 40 percent to 35 percent but total amount didn't change. Didn't correct here."

Eris pointed at a line on document with finger.

Lucia's eyes widened slowly.

Checked document again. Once. Twice.

"……Really."

Lucia's voice changed.

Surprise loaded instead of fatigue.

"Eri, you… can read?"

"Of course? Can't read this much is idiot! Eri is super genius beautiful girl!"

Eris raised nose high.

Lucia held out another document.

"This?"

Eris glanced.

"Supply route efficiency analysis? Distance calculation formula application wrong here. Calculated with straight line distance but this section must detour mountain range. If plan like this, village starves to death in a week."

Lucia's mouth opened.

"This?"

"Tax settlement table. Unit changed in middle but didn't convert. Wrong from here down entirely so must calculate again."

Lucia held out third document.

Eris found error in 3 seconds.

Fourth. 2 seconds.

Fifth. 1 second.

Lucia's eyes changed.

Started to shine beyond surprise.

Hope.

Light when human fallen in document hell discovered hand of salvation.

"Eri!"

Lucia grabbed Eris's both hands abruptly.

"Can you help Sister a bit?"

Eris sensed danger instinctively.

"No."

Immediate answer.

"Eri is precious. Precious so don't do things like work."

"Give snacks!"

Lucia took out negotiation card immediately. Princess's mercenarism.

"Top grade honey candy. Unlimited. Chocolate provided every day."

"……Ahem."

"And will yield pudding Knight-nim made too!"

"Pudding?!"

Eris's pupils shook.

Dishes pitch-black thing makes have 50% probability of horror visual, but taste is 100% probability heaven.

Among them pudding is legendary menu Eris hasn't eaten once ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠since coming to Frostgard.

Freya said 'If eat once tongue melts and doesn't regenerate'.

Probably exaggeration.

But might not be exaggeration.

Want to check.

Eris's pride and appetite confronted tightly on scale.

Pride: 'Eris-nim doesn't do labor!' Appetite: 'Pudding.'

Pride: 'Precious existence must be worshipped!' Appetite: 'Honey candy.'

Pride: 'Never submit─' Appetite: 'Chocolate.'

Scale tilted.

Pride ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠surrendered with white flag.

But Eris still had last line of defense left.

'Won't fall for it. Won't fall for it.'

Eris ground teeth.

Falling for snacks is dog. Eris is not dog.

Eris is most noble existence in the world. Noble existence doesn't succumb to food.

Then, Lucia threw finishing blow.

"No. As expected impossible right?"

Lucia let go of Eris's hand.

"Right… too difficult work for a child too…… Right, I was bad. Sister will do alone. Eri just go play…"

Lucia drooped shoulders gloomily and tried to grab pen again.

That pitiful appearance.

And word 'Impossible for a child'.

Click.

Switch pressed inside Eris's brain.

"Not doing and can't do are different. Eri can do anything if try! These paper scraps! Too too too easy so yawning comes out!"

"Th, Then… will help?"

If back down here becomes 'Right can't do'.

"Helping only for a moment! Just a little! Show Eri's genius and quit immediately!"

Eris pulled chair next to Lucia and sat.

Grabbed quill pen.

Picked a sheet of document.

Numbers visible. ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠Errors visible. Places to correct visible clearly.

Scratch scratch.

Pen moved.

Fast.

Scratch scratch scratch scratch!

Witch's brain.

High-level administrative processing grasping flow of logistics, calculating optimal route, redistributing surplus resources.

Genius brain originally used for sacrifice supply for Evil God resurrection and magic circuit design, was being used to calculate potato supply of North.

Talent waste?

No, talent's correct social return.

"Done!"

"Here next!"

"Sister what is this? Transaction receipt processing? Idiots, didn't even classify!"

Lucia stamped seals hard from side and carried classified documents.

Smile of emotion spread on her mouth.

"Amazing! Eri, you really are a genius!"

"Hmph! Of course! Bring more! These document mountains, Eri-nim will flatten all!"

And 1 hour later.

"……Strange."

Eris muttered holding quill pen blankly.

Document pile doesn't decrease.

Process one sheet and three sheets grow from behind.

Organize three sheets and ten sheets proliferate.

Like Hydra's head. Paper hell rising even if cut and cut.

'Me, why working?'

Intended to play and eat.

Intended to be worshipped.

Why became sister's secretary and labor exploited.

"Sister."

"Huh?"

"Is there end to this?"

"……."

Lucia's silence replaced answer.

Eris's face turned pale.

'Deceived deceived! Eris was deceived!'

"Excuse me… Sister… I stop now…"

"Eri."

Lucia spoke first.

"Really thank you."

Emerald eyes under dark circles shone softly.

"Thanks to your help finished this much already. If alone couldn't sleep tonight too. Really what would I have done without Eri?"

Lucia opened drawer.

Honey candy.

Amber candy went into Eris's mouth pop.

"……."

Eris melted candy munch munch.

Cannot refuse.

This sweetness, and satisfaction of that desire for recognition 'Can't do without you'.

"……O, Only today."

Eris grabbed pen again.

"Helping specially only today. Thank Eri's mercy."

"Yeah! Thanks, Eri!"

"N, Noisy! Received dessert so working only that much. Equivalent exchange!"

Next day.

"Helping only for a moment today too."

Scratch scratch.

Lucia smiled and took out one more honey candy.

Eris's mouth opened automatically.

"Absolutely not doing tomorrow."

Next day too, day after next too, Eris repeated same words.

"This time really last!"

Every day same words.

Every day same honey candy.

Every day document mountain decreasing little by little.

And every day whenever Lucia says 'Thank you', somewhere in chest becoming warm.

'Just documents processed incidentally in process of acquiring dessert.'

Like that, Witch Eris was reborn as key talent for Empire revival without knowing herself.